sounds like you're meeting your mommy...

Re: for providers mostly, seasoned hobbyists chime on in...

Let me first say that she IS the lucky one for meeting you! We as providers wish that all our Hobbyists were like you, but their not sorry to say, You my darling man are a rarity!
For me, i've had some Gentlemen, bring gifts when they've come to spend time with me, and it was so much appreciated! I don't expect anything when a Gentleman arrives except mutual respect and to have a comfortable erotic experience together. Keep doing what you feel comfortable with, it's a sweet gesture and a wonderful thing to keep doing!
Have a wonderful time, and i hope she appreciates your kindness!
Jay

I have done this several times with special ladies in the past.  Sometimes it has worked great and made the evening incredibly memorable.  When that happens it is worth all of the effort in the world.  I had one special lady years ago who I regularly went out of the way for in a similar fashion and it was greatly appreciated.  We became good friends in addition to my being a valued client.  BUT I have also been burned and had the lady take advantage of the situation once.  So I guess the message is:  Look before you leap but the journey is often well worth the price of admission in my view.

they should only be done from a place inside your heart and never as some type of compensation that entitles you to more services, time, etc.

I do similar things because I enjoy doing them.  For example, recently I saw a provider of Chinese ancestry who lives in Singapore but was in the US for schooling and we hooked up.  We had extensive email correspondence and along the way she mentioned that she missed being home during the Moon Festival which was last October 3rd.  A tradition of this festival is the eating of Mooncakes, a type of pastry served during the event.  So, I hied down to the local Chinatown and found some of these Mooncakes and brought them to her as a gift.  I think she was pleasantly surprised and touched as a result.

It's the little niceties rather than the grand  gestures that people remember.

For my ATF's, Not for a woman I have never met.

Anyone of the ideas would be fine. All of them at once may be over the top. Treat this lady with respect, be squeaky clean, and be a gentleman and trust me she will see you in the future without ALL the gifts. BTW, I assume dinner with her is on the clock. Good luck

I've had many gentlemen go 'above and beyond' to make our time memorable

One gentleman, in particular, stands out in my fond memories. We had been corresponding for a couple of months, planning our rendezvous. The gentleman was flying in, on vacation, from outside of the country. When he arrived, we decided to meet for a cocktail prior to retiring to his suite. We had a delightful time getting to know one another and strolled back to our final destination. Upon entering into the room, I was immediately taken back by the time and effort that he placed to make our moments together everlasting. He had candles lit in various places, the aroma in the air was phenomenal and beautiful bouquets of flowers filled the room. As I continued into the suite, I noticed 3 large gift bags on a table next to the bed.  Over the course of the evening, he would present me a bag, with many wrapped gifts within each bag. All of the gifts were well thought out and are still near and dear to my heart. One gift in particular was hand-made by him, just for me. It's a beautiful wooden piece, with fine detail... Come to find out, he had been working on this piece and preparing it, especially for me, over the course of 2 months. I'm not one to cry, however I had tears flowing down my face. To top the entire evening off, he tipped me 3 times my rate. Obviously, not expected or necessary. As a matter of fact, I tried giving the tip back to him...but he wouldn't accept it and told me to buy something nice for myself and my boys.

I've also had other gentlemen purchase various items ie: fishing poles, game system etc for my kids. WOW...talking about going above and beyond and knowing the way to a womans heart!!!!



-- Modified on 11/20/2008 5:47:50 AM

Obviously, you treat hobbying far far differently than most of us. Dinner is normal and quite common place (heck, even Hardy has done that one). Having the beverage of her choice in the room is just being a gentleman and showing common courtesy. Bringing flowers indicates that you want to make your session more in line to that of a regular civilian date. Your choice; whatever works for you. Making an artist drawing of the provider obviously puts your preparation way over the top. That is a first; you are in completely un-chartered waters.

The bottom line is that you need to look at your goals of the session. If you are doing all this preparation so that the provider wants to see you again, it is completely unnecessary. While any hobbyist worth his sole will agree with you that respect and professionalism throughout the entire process is paramount to seeing a provider again, this can be accomplished on many different fronts, none of which involve the great lengths you are going through. Contacting the provider professionally, showing up on time, never making her ask for the donation, never making the lady feel nervous or threatened at any time, enjoying your time together, and leaving on time at the end of your session, is really enough to make the lady want to see you again. Treat the lady as you wish to be treated yourself.

If your goal on the other hand is to create a much more intimate setting, to mirror a civilian date as closely as possible, to make you stand out among the hundreds of other clients the lady has, then how you prepare for the date is your choice. Your cash, your time; do with it as you may.      

this sounds waaaaaay over the top, iyam

I'd dial it down a lot before you go through with all of this

especially the drawing

my $0.02

Re: for providers mostly, seasoned hobbyists chime on in...

I personally feel with this type of meeting you aren't being over the top at all.

When I have multiple hour engagements, my friends like to pull out all of the stops as well. From champagne, gift cards, day spa visits, jewelry or a lavish dinner.

Of course I never expect my friends to provide these "extras" but it is very thoughtful of my friends to treat me extremely well even though its a business transaction.

I think its wonderful that you want to cater to her every whim and make her feel special.

I hope you two hit it off and have a blast.

- A.L.

fine, but you are going over the top if you are doing it for her.  Most of us hope our meetings are pleasing to the lady as well as to ourselves, but I don't like to over do it since it places some pressure on her and speaks of a lack of confidence on my part.  I do try to be clean, considerate, respectful, and appreciative, but until I know the lady more fully, I don't like to go over board.  If it were me, I would book a longer date and have a beverage and snack on hand rather than booking a shorter date and being so elaborate; but --in the end-- if it makes you happy, do it. Things like this if done sincerely can never be bad.

It is helpful to get advice, but listen to your own heart . . .

You should do what makes you feel good. If she was accepting of your offers, then there is not a problem.

Now, speaking for myself: I've had a few gentlemen bring me nice gifts or even tip me, but that's rare anymore, unless he is an out-of-towner. I certainly do not expect it from anyone, but it is nice to know someone took the extra time to pick something out for you. I think the majority of gentlemen do this for a two to three-hour meeting when having a dinner date.  

However, for me, flowers are a big NO-NO, because I have allergies and my cat will eat them and get sick. So, if someone brought me flowers, I would still graciously accept them but then have to give them to someone else or dump them, and that would make me feel bad. Plus, if it's outcall, most providers do not want to be seen carrying flowers out of a hotel. Boy!  Would that draw attention! Drawing a sketch of me in one of my poses off the Internet is also not a good idea -- but a sweet gesture -- because the majority of my friends do not know what I do for a living part time (nor do I want them to know), so I wouldn't be able to display such an artistic piece in my home. Now, this option might vary depending upon the provider and what she likes and accepts. Plus, some women have copyrighted photos, so if they quit the business, they will not have their photos or drawings pasted anywhere in the future.

Now, getting back to your original question: Each woman is different, but the fact that you asked her and she liked your offers, then it's okay to lavish her like a princess. I can certainly understand why a few gentlemen stated that you may be going over the top with the drawing, but in the end if it makes you happy then that is the most important thing. Those who say not to are probably seasoned hobbyists and cannot, or do not want, to give gifts all the time (understandably so), but do what makes you happy.

Hugs,
Ciara


















-- Modified on 11/20/2008 8:58:15 AM

It is great that you go above and beyond to treat a lady first class.  A word of caution, most, if not all, ladies you see for the first time are not going to dinner with you, etc. without this time being "on the clock".  And, as someone else has said, why only a 1 hr. date?

I will usually ask a lady if she likes a certain wine or other beverage to have in the room. Since I ususally ask for dinner dates, that is going to happen anyway, but gifts can be touchy. Flowers are not a good idea for many reasons. I will try to get a feel for some small things that the lady may appreciate, maybe some scented candles, or an assortment of nice massage oils. Beyond that, the extravagant gifts could get a little overwhelming.

Although it will likely come across that way.  I think many ladies would be concerned that you could turn out to be clingy, or even a stalker type.

What you seem to be attempting is to make the time enjoyable for her as well as yourself.  That's admirable, but by showing up clean and polite, you should accomplish that for her.  I know several of the ladies in LV pretty well, and I don't think any of them would view your actions to be necessary for a good time.  Additionally, it's going to be pretty tough to WOW them.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't go ahead, but I'd hate to see you try so hard, and then end up scaring her off...

Good luck, however you proceed.

Seems like a lot of work for a 1 hour date. For multi-hour and overnight dates, I do more planning. With the following lady, I have had a few extended dates. In an e-mail, she mentioned retiring for personal reasons, and continued ...

"However, if you would like to make dates with me, I might be persuaded to make an exception for you.  You are so romantic and accommodating!  I always feel like a princess when I am with you."

I believe the more you put into the date, the more you get out of it. With the right lady, it does become "I forgot it was a service", and can approach "Once in a lifetime".

about a first time client going quite so over the top. Other than avoiding LE, one of the ladies' biggest concerns is avoiding gents who cross the emotional boundaries, exhibit behavior that might indicate a dramatic or possessive client, or a future stalker. This is a sport, not a dating contest.

I am *NOT* saying that this fits you - but I would suggest taking it a little easier.....  what you are proposing would charm the panties off a civvie more times than not, but a lady in this biz has a different set of concerns.

Others have been gentler with their responses, but I felt it was appropriate that you hear this point of view.

Just my 2c

Best of luck in any case

Gregory

What's with all the haters?

I keep trying to go into detail about everyone's posts, the good and bad, but get kicked off because of the time I guess.

I think I'm misunderstood. But it really doesn't matter, because the main thing is being a gentleman and treating this lovely lady right.

I think everyone can agree? Yes?

Anyway, thanx for your comments and some support.

I think what you're looking for is not a provider. It's a girlfriend or wife or companion.
There is a difference between treating the provider with respect, maybe bringing a small gift and what you are doing. The basic and undeniable fact is this: you are PAYING for a service.
Now, that doesn't mean you have to be a pig just because you're paying. But it's a service.
As long as you are decent, respectful, clean and PAY, you will see this provider every time  she is available.

Hey everybody! Thanks for your comments. Especially the ladies, and a couple gentlemen, that had real constructive comments and actual support for my inquiry. The haters, well, sounds like some people have some past issues. Being called a stalker and/or obsessive? That's wild! I've never asked a woman to give me anything she wasn't ready to give. I don't take, I am given by mutual consent. Obsessive? Maybe about the fact that I want to make enough money to retire at an early age and get the pleasure of seeing some of the lovely ladies that grace this way of life. Other than that, I can do without. I can be perfectly happy, kicking back in my house, with my dogs, having drinks and BBQ with family and friends. I've met some wonderful ladies through this forum, and it's a shame that some friendships wouldn't have been realized if I would've been tore down by all the negative shit from my past post. But the fact of the matter is I am going through with my plans, which were accepted by the lady even before I had posted, and with the care and advice of the extraordinary ladies here, I am sure my lady and I will have a great experience! Peace to all!

the more she will truly dispise you.
and rightfully so.

sorry.