someone out you... what would you do vs what you wish you could do and get away with?  

Always does. I remember being in gym class. When I started winning a (stupid) basketball game because I had been practicing everyday after school, all the girls started tripping me because the 'more popular' girls would be beat. Would have won the game, too. Sad thing is, I stopped practicing because of it. Now? Fuck that. I don't focus on the people around me trying to knock me down. I focus on ME and MY goals. And God dammit, I'm going to get there. (And it's not to be the biggest, baddest escort by the way, lol. I don't have energy for that!)

But it turned out to be a blessing, as I had my wife's blessing. As for retaliation, I didn't do a thing. He kind of messed things up for himself trying to screw me over.

and prior to getting involved in this industry, I asked myself this.  I would just roll with it as I am not ashamed of what I do.
Personally, we all have a lot to lose so it really wouldn't be wise cuz I know that person's secret, too!

Except those ladies I choose to hobby with.  

While I don't share this part of my life with my friends and family, I really don't have anything to lose if outed. I am single and self employed, so no SO, or high profile job to get in trouble with. Some of my family and friends would be shocked. Some would probably not be surprised at all. A couple may disown me. Most would be indifferent. Some would be jealous. Some would say "You da man!" Some might say, "oh, now I get it, and all this time I thought you were gay!"

"Living well, is the best revenge."  Don't recall who composed this, but it's simplicity is sheer genius.

Posted By: Courtney.ova

Always does. I remember being in gym class. When I started winning a (stupid) basketball game because I had been practicing everyday after school, all the girls started tripping me because the 'more popular' girls would be beat. Would have won the game, too. Sad thing is, I stopped practicing because of it. Now? Fuck that. I don't focus on the people around me trying to knock me down. I focus on ME and MY goals. And God dammit, I'm going to get there. (And it's not to be the biggest, baddest escort by the way, lol. I don't have energy for that!)  
   
 Being knocked down is a big test for you. We all get outed, dissed, stomped on, (especially when it comes to money and power,) etc. The question is, who is strong and witty enough to bounce back and possibly become stronger with it. Perhaps you already are and the other person feels threatened because of it. Take that as a compliment and a sign that you can bounce back.  
   
 Always be confident in who you are and who you were before you were 'back-stabbed', and drop what you can't control... time will take care of that... get yourself gathered up, and work on what you CAN fix. Do try to have a clear mind before you start working on it, however. Anger can make the vision very cloudy, and the mind distorted.  
   
 "He that hastes with his feet will err." (A proverb that holds true, only it's half of it because I don't like the other half! IT's still true though! LOL)  
   
 Again - the best way to get someone back is to continue doing your thing. Otherwise you're focusing your energy being pissed at them and fighting a stupid battle instead of spending that energy on damage control and YOUR goals.  
   
 We wouldn't care so much about what people thought about us - if we knew how LITTLE they thought of us. lol

-- Modified on 10/1/2013 1:24:27 AM

deny, deny, deny!

the question is hypothetical in my case, because I couldn't care less if I were "outed" as a hobbyist. I don't bring it up with most people simply because it's not part of polite dinner conversation, but I'm not ashamed of it and it wouldn't hurt me.

First off, TRUST NO ONE--assume that anyone would turn on you & realize that keeping to yourself is your best asset!!  Second, always have "friends" who could assist in bringing out the skeletons in the outers closet (everyone has them!) Lastly, reinvent yourself & move on!  I pity the person that ever tries to stir the shit in my pot!
 

In my former workplace...Someone recognized me from my pictures and told everyone.  It really made me figure out who my real friends were.  Honestly after being upset about it for a while I started asking myself why?  I'm not ashamed of what I do...And as long as that one malicious person in my life doesn't find out it's all good.  Unfortunately he did find out, and I'm paying the consequences due to the stereotypes of this job.  It's been very hard to deal with but the bright side is that I started working on myself and I'm finally going back to school.

If a married client was stupid enough to stalk me, find out my real info. and then out me, well...he would have the surprise of a lifetime when his dog was gone and his wife was having dinner with me every week. Another provider? You know that story, but high school drop outs with nothing going for them in life, tend not to have much to barter with. Then again, if they are stupid enough to work out of their own home for the last 10 years with children living there, I bet the local cops would look into it.

That reminds me of the time one of my co-workers was discovered to be a stripper.  Everyone else in the office wanted to talk about it.  I just quietly went and got some of the best lap dances of my life.   Her secret became "our" secret.  She started dancing at another club and I started telling people that she only tried stripping for a short time because of a family emergency, but then she stopped.

Like several others, I really have little to lose.  No employer, no wife for the last few years, my kids and most other people I care about know what I do.  A couple of family members don't know, but they'd be unlikely to find out anyway.
What would I do about it?  Who knows

and my response was basically, "Is that the best you've got?"

It had no effect whatsoever on my life, I never made a secret about my whore mongering ways in the first place and "outing" me didn't take much work.

Why didn't you ask him why he was shopping for a hooker?

Utterly profound and oh so true.  

Even if I was able to retaliate, it wouldn't be wise. This person could potentially destroy my future. But what could I do, anyway? Call the police?  

If someone is high volume, I don't see why they can't just save up and get out. Unless they have a Mercedes, lol. I would assume she's charging more than $80 specials?

I'd just say, "Ok, so where were you when I was homeless? Do you pay my bills? I don't think so."

than living well.

I have had several "friends" like you have been to her, in my career as a provider, and not once did I ever ask any of them to "take care of me" or bail me out, because I can do that myelf. People who don't work hard and always take the easy way out, can't stand when others succeed where they have failed. Hard work and dedication are principles that work for ANYONE, but not all people want to put in the ground work. They just want the world to hand them something without doing shit to get it...I have a cousin like that. 31 and still lives with her freaking parents, and does nothing but gripe about how miserable her life is, how she is depressed, on lithium, bla bla bla. Get over it! If she can go to work and school over 40 hours a week, don't tell me she can't find time and courage to stop feeling sorry for herself.  

I would never hurt you, as far as you know...

The first time my boss sent me to Vegas for the weekend ( a couple yrs ago)he gave me a couple grand and told me to get laid and come back broke. It was a very good weekend. So outing me at work wouldn't do anything if fact it's what got me into it.

-- Modified on 10/1/2013 12:02:58 PM

story.....almost exactly........ I was in & out of the hospital for a misdiagnosis & the meds caused me more grief with their side effects until I just gave up & signed over my bussiness I had been working on starting prior to this, I had a 2nd part time job, & then several other little side work deals I would do to make money.... What's odd is 2 yrs I struggled working these legit jobs, while many ppl around me who were jealous (cuz no matter wat drama, stress, problems, & general craziness they wud try to cause me I just kept going). And several men who knew I was struggleling wud try to get me to service them for hooking me up with side work,(which I wudn't) (One guy actually stalked me & finally left a note on my door that said he was sorry he hired me to do a side job with him, which he paid me $100 less than he wud hav paid his normal helper)or even when I was applying for jobs that were beneath my credentials, the managers would actually make comments to me, after the interview or during a follow up call. Many guys knew that I didn't have food in my home to feed my kid & instead of hiring me for work, they all would make propositions, which I wud turn down. Even the guys who I had helped out providing them housing when they wer down on their luck, not one of them would even let me shower at their place, let alone hav a night out of my freezing cold car, they would tell me nothing in this world is free, Id hav to give up some booty----HELL NO!!!
And even my best friend, who I had given a job too many years before as an assistant manager which gave him otj training & opened alot of doors for him, years later him & his wife had hard times & she went to live 2hrs away with her family, & I let him move in with me so he cud keep his job while he looked for work where his wife was, 3mths I housed him, fed him, even cooked for him....yrs later he returned to columbus, & found I was sleeping in my car when I got out of the hospital the last time & found the lay pastor had turned his back on me & he even told ppl at my church that I was in drug rehab (which was a total lie, but it kept the church ppl frm makin contact with me, cuz no one at my church will hav anythin to do with drug addicts, so he covered his tracks good) but anyways, my best friend of 12 yrs at the time, who I had housed, deleted me as a friend on facebook........so it's how I got into the biz....ppl were saying that's wat I was doing anyways...

This guy was in the military and they don't really have any shame about seeing escorts since the town is full of men.  He recognized me because I have a scar from a procedure that nearly everyone heard about.  I blur it now but back then I didn't.  It wasn't that huge of a deal to me because I had already gotten out and sooner or later everyone who knew about it would be scattered all over the country.  I didn't deny it because I was confronted about it while drinking with my buddies from the office and it took me by surprise.

the biz........
I had struggled for a cpl years, eventually selling everything including my homes. Then I lucked into a very lucrative job, around men. Who of course a few would proposition me & talk nasty to me (which I would just ignore). But many of these guys are in the hobby (which is odd cuz with all these sites they wud have seen me if I was in the biz???). These guys wud see me working there all night, but yet I would hear one wisper (who I had turned down) to another that I was a prostitute or even that I had worked as a stripper (I cudn't even dance at the time), I had taught Sunday school & was a devoted member of the church, prior to working there & I had just moved back to Columbus. But none of the ppl who knew me frm church or knew the bussiness I had would step up & say.  
People would literally see me show up for work everyday, 7 days a week, 8pm till 6am every single day & they would still pass around that I was a prostitute!!!!! One guy said to me once, he saw me with my coach pocket book, (which I carry small ones their price $60 to $90,I'm not extravagant ) (my earning potential was $60 an hour, but I didn't always work full hours, I was considered a sub-contractor so the company itself didn't pay me) but the dude looked at me & said the company must be paying me too much since I can buy a coach pocket book, to this day I really dnt understand that comment, unless I think it meant it was proof that I was a prostitute.  
But I eventually lost this job, due to girls being jealous of how much money I made & the fact that cuz my boobs are so big I would get alot of attention from the men. The ones who I had turned down were really starting to cause alot of problems for me. It mentally confused me cuz the cpl of other girls that worked there, it was fact that they did sleep with the customers for money, one lady bragged about it & actually ppl started a rumor that her & I were physically fighting. I didn't talk to her or really anyone socially, I would just show up do my job, help others with their clean up duties, & go home by myself to get my kid up for school. That's my story......

it would all be in video anyway

I've never been outed personally.  Hell, I'm not married or even have kids.   I was engaged once for a long time but that didn't work out.   Got back into the hobby off and on.  Had a few civ girlfriends in between.  A couple of friends know what I do for fun.  In fact they are a little envious.  They get it and always tell me, "Man, if I wasn't married, or if I wasn't in a serious relationship..."  I would never advocate for them to cheat on their wife or SO.  Let them make that decision for themselves.  Co-workers...I would be shunned at work that's for sure.  Family...Not sure about this one.  On one hand they would freak out, especially my Mom.  But my Dad, he wouldn't approve but would probably just tell me to be safe.  My brother wouldn't give a sh*t.  The rest of my family...Don't give a f**k.