Truly, it must vary for each client, and even then, our needs and taste evolve and shift.

So, speaking for myself, it is always the enthusiasm of the provider making me feel like I'm the one and only for her at that moment.

I loved to be showered with affection and pampered to the utmost.

the quality and frequency of DFK. I'm not your MINE to be drilled. I,m not your husband whom you detest kissing. I'm your lover; please treat me as such and i'll come back.

It does help that you don't repulse even Qusimodo

I've been pondering this over the weekend & I'd be curious to know if there is a common thread in what makes a provider an ATF. I know all men appreciate beautiful women, but what really sets an ATF in a class by herself?

An ATF has to meet all the things I am looking for in a provider. She needs to be cute to me have a nice figure have sexy feet and perform to my standereds I could care less about spit or swallow either works for me and she needs to be able to hold a conversation and also mutually be interactive and not make me do all the talking and or moves.

Great answer, & even better to know!

Maybe it's just me, but I want my dates with the ladies to feel like a date. I tend to book longer dates, and there is always time spent out of the room. So from beginning to end I don't want to get the vibe from my date that she happens to be a provider. Even though I KNOW in my mind who she and what she does. I never want that feeling while I am with her. So yes you have to at least act like my GF or SO while we are together. I have had some ladies slip up before and talk about things that just reminded me of who and what they do. The only time I want to remember I am with a provider is when she is leaving and the end of our time together with the envelope. I have only been with one person who has accomplished that for me so far and that's what made her my ATF.

I'm not sure I would say I’m looking for "the fantasy," as I am comfortable being a realist. As such, I have no misgivings about the exchange that is taking place in a session.

However, as a person who can find something special to like and enjoy in most people, I can find an attractiveness in women who are considered plain, when I spend mutually enjoyable time with them. I've heard many providers say the same thing about their clients.

I strive to be an excellent client, and I get a huge "extra" if a provider finds that little something in me. When it happens, she seems to be real, genuine, and allows me to be with her in that way. That just rocks my world.

Nothing shows that to me more than a sensual French kiss. Added to that are the casual touches, the smiles with both her lips ands her eyes. And finally, her enjoying any intimacy that we decide to share.

I can tell if it's real. Some people say that when they actually can't, but I am confident I have the ability.

As far as the fantasy vs. the reality… In my line of work, I provide a specialized service that not many people are capable of providing. I appreciate all my clients, but some more than others. The very best ones elicit a special feeling from me, like we are friends and I actually care for them. I get an exhilaration when I get to work for them. My smiles, jokes, personal conversation, caring inquiries are 100% real and genuine, and are reserved for them. We may go to lunch or dinner. If we see each other in public we might talk. My relationship with them is real, but it is realistic, too. It doesn't cross the line away from business and into something else.

Even so, I ENJOY being with them when I am.

When I find that in a provider, I have struck gold. A session makes me feel like a million bucks and fills my head with sweet images, and my heart with a contentment for much time to come. It's just wonderful.

When I do find that, I am especially careful to maintain the proper respect and boundaries because I know why WE ARE BOTH HERE.  It's called WIN-WIN.

-- Modified on 10/9/2011 8:48:25 PM

Well I'm a newbie and so I don't have an ATF, but I'll offer my thoughts. I'm looking for a Girlfriend Experience, of course. The definition varies a lot, so I'll offer mine. The acronyms don't make or break the experience for me. So whether it's a CBJ or BBBJTCIM, or whether we try a bunch of wild porn movie positions, doesn't really matter. It's all just icing on the cake. I care about kissing, passionately, and as much as I'd like. I care about affection, warmth, and intimacy. I care about it not feeling like being with a provider, but being with an accepting, even eager, partner.

I think most of the responses are saying more or less the same thing, but the specifics may vary, client to client.

I think the core of the GFE is the fantasy that the provider WANTS to be with you. Not that she is just willing to LET you do things her, or willing to do them to you. The ones that make the greatest impression on me (no ATF yet) are the ones that make me feel like it is a date and that they are enjoying it as much as I am.

Don't get me wrong, we KNOW it is not the case. But those best at creating the fantasy and catering to our individual idiosyncrasies are the ones that will keep us coming back.

ps. you have a PM

"I have had some ladies slip up before and talk about things that just reminded me of who and what they do."

Although she was friendly, I knew it was just her job for the night.

Brings me to what makes it good for me.

Please don't say something or compliment me just to say it.I can tell.

I have to feel that she is comfortable AND comfortable/compatible with me.I know she can still perform but it ain't the same.When setting an appointment, I try to pick a type/personality of someone who I'd be attracted to in civvie life.Doesn't always work of course, but I try.



btw, i don't believe in the term ATF.

You are quite welcome.


HH

gives it to me before I even realize what it is.

Yes, there are women out there who seem to do that on a regular basis.

and timing, the key factor in most things in life; not too different to the real world.  Last month had my first ever such feeling in this P4P world; I can try to analyze it in terms of specific elements (warm, smart, beautiful, sense of humor, eager, able to see who I am and where I needed her most,.....and so on) but honestly I think it's more complex than that. All I know is that I left feeling I had not only had the best sex in a decade but also that I had met somebody special. Illusion? certainly I hope not, but will most definitely leave it as such.

Very interesting suncoaster! Thanks for sharing! From what you've said it seems that it IS different for everybody - but like the majority the common thread seems to be a connection.

HH, I have to be honest here - you sound like such a great "client"! I really give you kudos to that, you come across like you actually make an effort to be a great client - which is absolutely fabulous! I really like your perspective - it seems like you have had a lot of success with that mindset. Please keep it going! Us ladies adore gents like you. I also noticed from what you shared you specifically seem to pay attention to the detail, more so what's "behind the scenes" of how the provider is interacting & connecting with you ATM. Thanks for sharing HH - this is gold!

I think that is a great expectation & desire to have. I would love more ladies to embrace that way of interacting with her chosen friends. I think how the provider views her "job", "client", & everything in between goes a lot into the kind of interaction, and quality of the companionship. Thanks for sharing Driller! I know I've said this before, but it really is great to know!

LonerGuy, very well put. I love that.

RedReaver, all I have to say is EXACTLY! Who wants to be with someone that is treating the other like they are a burden, or an inconvenient responsibility? I totally agree with you. I think a lot of this comes with the territory of what a providers reality can be but an actual desire to be there with the other person should be applied way more frequent, rather than in infrequent small dosages.

Aweee...greeneyed dude! Now you officially have me blushing. Many virtual kisses to you, doll!

Its hard to fake a kiss.  A good one tells me that she is probably enjoying our date also.  My best dates have been with women who kiss me like they care.

If you have me describe the physical characteristics of a woman that would give me whiplash, I could.  If you had me describe my ATF, you would say "HUH? not the same woman". And seeing your question you made me reflect on the why.   It comes down to, she satisfys me mentally, emotionally and physically.  I enjoy just being with her. The fantasy is borderline reality. And as I depart I am thinking about the next time.