So I am relatively young. 28. And sort of good looking. I could be Will Smith's thin cousin and don't have a small penis. Sometimes after sessions the girls seem to get very interested in me saying how they would holler at a guy like me in there personal life or ask me if I have a gf or wife and when I say no they say why? And a couple of times the girl has taken my # and called me after the fact to disasterous results. Obviously these are not your typical top notch esccorts but the run of the mil BP/CL types but my question is 3 fold.  

When this happens is this just game or good business to build my ego up so she gets me to see her again?

If a girl calls you should you still be expected to pay for it?

Has anyone here actually been in a relationship with a woman knowing that she was in this business? Not pimping her and her not doing it in secret and you eventually finding out about it...

It sounds more like they want to rob you and burglarize your crib.

Sorry, just pokin fun at ya! That's how it sort of sounded with the way you said it. Can't answer your question since I don't see "BP/CL types," and I guess I must not look enough like Will Smith, so I don't get any calls from the ladies. Peace brother

If you want to find out the answers to your questions, there is one absolutely definitive way to discover them.

That way is simple. ASK. Ask her out on a civie date and make clear your intention to court her in the usual way.

Such courting will either be accepted, or not. And therein you shall find your answers.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And above all -- do not fear or expect failure. Every woman who says "no" just saves you time and gets you that much closer to one who says "yes."

first I would think it would be bad business to contact a gentleman friend...unless of course You have permission to do so....and if I were calling one of my gentleman friends for a date...well then...I should be putting out with No pay expected...afterall I am contacting You...Your Not contacting me....and I am sure there are All kinds of different forms of relationships going on between Hobbyist and Providers...You just have to communicate what You want and what You expect....maybe these ladies are looking for a sugardaddy....or better yet a rich husband...only they know why they are really contacting You...so maybe if You are interested...You should go find out from them....now the question is...would You want to date a Provider and could You handle the fact that she is sleeping with other men...lol...and Not just You

That is the hardest part about a civvie guy dating a provider. The fact that she is still seeing other guys every day. Most guys would have a hard time with that. It takes a special kind of relationship for that to be OK for both parties (IMHO).

It's extremely difficult...even IF she does quit providing...changes ---gets a whole new job...



NOT going to work...EVER!  


Try as you may, but, don't ever fall in love...

It is doable; it is not easy.

The previous comment about how it can NEVER work is false, my marraige is proof of that. She was in the biz for 2 years and we made it through.

However it is going to take some thick skin on your part. Her having this as an occupation brings up a set of challenges that is unique compared to traditional relationships, and as such, if you are a conventional thinking person on issues of monogomy and relationships than you can fogeddaboudit.

And her sleeping with men for living is just the icing on the cake, there are other things that can stress you a lot more than that, but I'm not going to open that can of worms right now cause that will lead to a VERY long post.  

But given the tone of your post, I'm thinking you ain't so much looking for love as thinking, "hey, great, free pussy." Well, go for it, but remember, even when it's free...it's NEVER really free.

Lil Dick Will: Don't bother with someone who is not ready to be in a relationship, except for the paying kind.  Ask yourself, why the previous results were disastrous? Sure, we all meet very attractive and sweet ladies and yes some of them make you want to go off the reservation. Yet, most are not ready for anything meaningful. Yes, they need friendship like the rest of us, but while she's in the life, there will always be strings attached. Could you really welcome her home after a day and night of making it with other men for money and be in a meaningful relationship? If you can, then pursue the one(s) you want and think nothing about it. But if you can't and you are going to call her names when you get mad at her, save her the trouble. Don't get involved. Could you handle that she might be bi-sexual or even polyamorous? There are lots of ifs with "dating" providers and at your age, you are probably not ready for anything other than why you met them in the first place. The better option is to find the hottest providers if that is what you require, pay them and leave or have them leave. If by chance you encounter someone you can truly be a friend to and accept all that goes with it, then nothing ventured, nothing gained. If on the chance that she actually wants to see you and pushes the button, she might be for real. Most of these women are feeling, loving, and intelligent people, you can't "play" them for cheap or free pussy unless that's what they want to give that to you. Lots of providers have their reasons for being in this life, there are dissertations on that subject. But this I know to be true: Many have not been sexually abused or raped, or come to the life because of alcohol and drug problems. Many are well-educated, level-headed, like to fuck and get paid for it. So, just like the civilian world, you have all types, but the best, make a choice to do this and not because they have or come from problems. Your quest is to find them if you really want to find someone who's great in bed and knows how to make you cum until you want to can't do it any more. That is why you buy pussy, right?

I don't civie date right now...because fair is fair...if I am going to go out and Enjoy a lot of Pleasure with his blessings...I should do the same...however I would want to be the only one to satisfy his sexual appetite

True....but when you get your heart broken..it's not easy....  Things get so misconstrued.  Most hearts can't bear it..it's so hurtful and full of lies..

It seemed to make sense to me at the time because they already knew what I did for a living, and I could never lie about my profession to a civilian guy outside the busines. They just wouldn't accept it for the few that I did tell. It's not in me to be a lie.


But after a very ugly recent incident happened, I will never date a client again. I had some great times with them but the job always got in the way, psychologically, emotionally, physically. I am not saying there can't and aren't successful relationships between provider and clients ( single clients)but for me, after all these years, and seeing how each of them ended not very well, my choice has been to stay single, period, until I quit working as an escort.

Dude, you are not mature enough to date. Grow up then try.

Well part of what makes it not easy is that it needs  total honesty on both sides. So much of this world is illusion on both sides that it seeps into the bones. OTOH succeeding in getting past that can lead to a relationship that is worthwhile.

I didn't really mean like bf/gf more along the lines of I think you are cute enough or good enough in the bedroom to get it for free or chill occasionally. The problems I alluded to mainly had to do with the notion of "paying for time" and not for the sex. I have a girl that comes into town and texts me when business is slow and I go out there and by the time I arrive her or her provider friend will already have a paying customer and in this business it's about bills not dills.

I have been in two relationships with providers....one that is wonderful to this day....the other disastrous!   It all depends on the professionalism and "heart" of both parties.  The provider that I have a relation with is one of my best friends and we both just happen to love sex!   I even hired her as an employee in my corporation....it worked out great!!!    We get together occasionally for drinks and conversation and every-one-in-awhile...to work on a new position.   We respect and love each other.  She is an extremely intelligent person that looks great in leather!!!