Background:
I have been seeing this girl once a month for about 8 months. First it was 1 hour appointments, which evolved into multi-hour and then overnights. All the dates and communication was always friendly, nice and sexy, while still being within the professional boundaries of the hobby, there was no off-the-clock time or offer of it. There was no mentioning of getting involved or having feelings for each other outside the "typical" provider-client relationship.

So then to my surprise I woke up this morning to a text from her and all it says is "I LOVE YOU" (all in capital letters).

What does it mean and what am I supposed to do here? She's a great girl and I like her, but I don't think I can see myself in a LTR with her.

Sorry for the alias, but I reviewed her and don't want her name out.

Obviously, you two need to talk. Explain that while you really enjoy her company and think she is a great gal, you just cannot see things working out long term.  Better to address it immediately.

I have provider friends that i share texts with. Some are more personal than others. Some are sillier than others.

(in reverse)-- I received a similar message from a client with whom I never had any out-of-the usual emotional connections.

I messaged back "Was this meant for ME?"

After a few moments I received a red-faced apology from the fellow-- who had hit the wrong address book entry. (Tabu is awfully close to "Tara"!)

Perhaps yours was a mistake.

ruefully yours,

Tabu of South Florida

Statistically the most likely is that you are about to be taken for a very fun and VERY expensive ride. If you've got deep enough pockets I recommend going for it - as long as the bang for the buck ratio is favorable. An experience not to be missed - trust me on this

OR

It is possible that real feelings have developed. Been there too. That is lovely, but painful, and very difficult to navigate successfully.

If you don't have feelings, please do yourself and the lady a favor and be honest.

But if you have feelings as well I'd go for it. Stick it out there. Risk it.

You only get one chance in life.

And regret for lost opportunities, for risks not taken - hurts a lot more than guilt. Trust me on this as well.....

Maybe it's just me, but if you're telling someone you love them for the first time, wouldn't that be done face to face?

But to answer your question about what to do. Would it be wise to just lay low for now, and see if she either texts you again about it, or calls you? At which point, you might have to have a talk w/her.

1. The message was sent to you by mistake
2. It was intended for you and it is simply manipulation
3. It was intended for you and it is real

I'd rule out #1 before even worrying.

If the message was intended for you, telling the difference between #2 and #3 is easy enough. Yes? (Though there ARE some exceptions that can make differentiaion tougher. A conversation can clarify.)

If it is #2, I'd just stop seeing her. But that's me and I'm not into games like that. Some guys dig them, though.

If it is #3; you imply that you are AVAILABLE for an LTR, but cannot be certain of her suitability. Well, if you are available for such; I would actually recommend exploring that option even if your first impressions are to the contrary.

A woman's selection of a man is a FAR better determiner of LTR success than the other way around for a host of reasons I won't get into right now. So if it is #3, exploring that could really be in your enlightened self interest.

Because she just encountered a A HOLE.  One lady I see will ask me why other guys don't treat a lady well.  I can always tell when she has had a terrible session.  She will text me "glad we met"  "you are so wonderful"  "why can't all the guys be like you"  I will text her back "bad time"?
Normally the response is always "YOU KNOW IT".
For my courtesy she rewards me with extra time.

Its new this week and I think may add some insight for you if the lady wasnt kidding at all or had sent the note by mistake to you rather than her real love interest.

The thoughts made there really hit the nail on the head and can almost by a primer for your situation.

My advise is to be very up front and honest with your friend in expressing how you feel about her if you find she really meant what she wrote.

Best wishes to you and your friend. Emotions and the heart can be very tough to deal with without hurting each other unintentionaly.

If you woke up to it, maybe last night was feeling really good and drunk-texting people in her contact list (similar to drunk-dialing).

If I would you, I would respond with "did you mean to send this to me" and see how she responds...

And let us know what happens!

Pay 4 Play is supposed to be MSA (No Strings Attached) sex.  I agree with the earlier evaluations as to what has occured.  She may have feeling but may also back off if you reply with "Was this intended for me?"  This crosses the professional line & she knows it.  

IF you are free to explore this & care to THEN you must talk.  There are rare cases when providers & clients fall for each other but it is rare (but not impossible) for this to work out.  

Guys fall for providers pretty often (self included) and professing it is a sure way to end the relationship...  if the other does not feel the same.  

Start with "Was this intended...  "  and see what transpires.   Go slow.  Think everything through, before moving to the next step.
skb

I thought you'd list 300--------looks like you're "learning"----------------

There are several providers with whom I chat and interact with regularly... and i have no qualms telling them "you know i love and adore you, right?" Neither of us are worried about that phrase because we both know the dynamics of the relationship. and YES, I believe the lucky ones among us CAN manage to develop connections that extend beyond the boundaries of the provider/client relationship without violating any taboo's. You just need to come to some of our more casual social gatherings to see what I'm talking about.

And you need to talk to her. This isn't junior high school, and you don't need Cyrano de Bergerac to do your talking for you.

there's nothing wrong with having a friendship with a hobbyist/provider... it can be as fulfilling as any civilian relationship that is based on communication and simple honesty.

But thats just me.

Jeez. Why do people have such a hard time talking about stuff?

Ask her if it was meant for you and, if so, tell her what you told us strangers. Ask her where she wants to go from here.

If she's interested in exploring a LTR and you're up for it, financially and emotionally, I also strongly recommend taking the ride. It may not last but there's nothing like it! Just make sure your seat belt is buckled.

Sometimes there is more to it, but more often there isn't. A few ladies have said, "I love you" to me. The difference is the unconditional love in a relationship, vs. the conditional love we can find here. We CAN feel love, but still keep it within an acceptable set of boundaries. That's what makes the special ones so special, no matter which side of the fence you're on.

And we all know how much fun communication is in such circumstances!  (*grin*)

There are a few providers that tell me that EVERY time we speak.  Interestingly, we still maintain a (mostly) business relationship.  They know my situation and I know theirs.  Even if we do love each other, we're not IN love with each other.

They fuck guys for a living, and I pay hookers.  Please don't tell anyone about that, lol.

Why is she telling me this, and why is she telling me this NOW. Problem! Good questions, but you don't have the answers to them. Solution! Talk to her. Your questions may be answered.

but a text message?

Come on.

Text back a smiley emoticon.

Next time you meet, act like nothing ever happened.  It didn't.

So since posting this and before making my mind up about how to respond, I got a text from her this morning asking me if I got her text from the previous night. So I just replied back "Yes" not the best answer but whatever. She replied that she would like to talk about it, but not through text or on the phone. So we made plans to go to dinner next week when she is in town.

Any thoughts?

How these things get handled depends a great deal on both of your personalities and expectations.

What I would recommend is:

meet with her
keep an open mind
listen a lot
don't make snap judgments
think outside your box

I have been in this position with a (not reviewed) provider. We met and reached an accomodation suitable to the circumstances. I will admit that the accomodation we reached was suboptimal for her. Since then, I have changed the way I hobby to avoid recurrence.

assuming this isn't all just "made up"

I usually get those same type of texts after we have had out-of-the-ballpark sex!!!

DON'T DO IT!  LOVE STINKS!!!  


I'd rather have a steak than be in LOVE!  YUCK!


LMAO  




smiles,


khori xoxo

why don't you post this on the Erotic Highway, I'm sure the Love Goddess can help you come up with an intelligent solution.

And from ladies I haven't even SEEN yet!

Fuck!!! I hope I live up to their expectations?!!!

Nah, well yeah, but anyway, it doesn't bother me. I say it back. I love women. When you open yourself up to me, and feel comfortable with me, I think it makes for such a great time when we get together.

And what the fuck is wrong with telling someone you love them? If you do, you do.

It doesn't mean you have to go out the next day and pick out China patterns.

It just means you trust each other and the experience can be amazing. WTF?!

Not everybody here is a either a money-grubbin' ho or a hard-on with a wallet.

And I swear to God, Gambler, if you call me a 'mangina', I shit you not, I will fucking fly out to Atlanta and kick your fucking ass! Got that?!!!

Seems like she found her sugar daddy and shes afraid you might be seeing other women and thinks by telling you this, you will want her forever because you have been back to see her numerous times and that you probably feel the same way and she is taking the initiative.

Dude. Put the pipe down and slowly walk away from it.

It's alright. We're here to help.

Unless, of course, you want to share?!