A Zen thing

It is like some sitting you down and telling you, "Whatever you do, do NOT think about an apple". What will you do? Think about an apple, of course.

Getting your mind clear and allowing yourself to go with the flow is the key, but hard for some people to do naturally. The various pressures (time, $, etc.) can easily add up and make things difficult if you let them.

I know exactly what you are talking about, and you are far from the only one dealing with it. And that is regardless of age or physical issues. This is 100% mental.

Like Oldmember said, learn to appreciate the journey. When the journey itself becomes the goal, you'll surprise yourself by getting to the destination more often.

Good luck!

Ren'man

You have to be very careful what you ask for in life because you might just get it. lol

I too have a very hard time finishing especially in a condom. I am sure I will see at least a dozen women this weedend alone, but I would not be surprised if I only finish five or six times.

If you have no problems finishing by self-gratification you may just need skin to skin contact to "cross the finish line". I might suggest that after you have enjoyed intercourse for as long as time (or your body) permits, you switch to either a BBJ (if permitted) or a HJ to completion. HJ's are often the only way I can finish especially if I have sex more than twice a day.

Don't feel alone, there are many of us who have difficulty finishing. Don't worry, if you truly enjoy sex wouldn't you rather be able to perform for an hour than be a "two pump chump"? It used to bother me when I couldn't finish, now it doesn't bother me in the least.

Well, for one thing lay off the self sex.  I find that my body, at least, learns to respond to certain stimuli.  I want my body parts to learn M/F, not self.
The second thing is I enjoy all M/F sex.  As a young man, "going all the way" was considered the ultimate.  Everything else was "Foreplay".  How wrong I was.  
I want to cross the finish line.  Absolutely.  My Fav ladies will make it happen.  It may not be Intercourse.  That's fine.  
Not all covers are created equal, nor are they “one size fits all.”  I posted on my explorations to date in this area & got interesting replies.

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=330147&boardID=12&page=9

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=331370&boardID=12&page=7

If you do internet searches you can find product dimensions. I have some nerve damage & have to get the exact right stimulation for it to happen. My current thinking is those with shape... extra head room... allow for some slight movement inside the cover which is a help to me.

Ladies may be uneasy about using covers you supply, though I've not had a problem. I just place them on the night table in the course of undressing. I give the lady ample opportunity to inspect the packaging for tampering while I'm in her bathroom. I've heard some ladies insist on sealed cardboard outter packaging as well, but I've not seen it.  I always bring more than I need...  2-3 is reasonable.  One might need to be replaced for some reason & best to have a spare.

A Fav lady questioned my bringing them (when she always supplies them) & I just told her "I like this kind."
skb

I myself love to self pleasure but it just does't cmpare to having a man kissing and holding me. I would hope it feels the same for you.

Do you enjoy the cuddling and kissing ? Don't you love the feel of a womens skin next to you. How about her smell and i'm not talking just pussy smell here. Drink it all in and you'll find much pleasure from every inch of her body. How about the feel of her hair lightly touching you as she moves over you with her tongue. What about the look of pleasure she gives while you engage her.

Yes, we all can pleasure ourselves but it's not nearly as complete as to have someone of the opposite sex lying next to you and leading you on. If this is how you cum the best then go for it and don't be shy. I know gentlemen who do this all the time while their lips are on mine.I even join in and just as your ready to explode have you shoot in my mouth.

It doesn't matter to some whether they get to the point or not because everything feels so good to them on the way.

Kisses Haley

I have a couple guys I see.....

and they can not finish either...however they have made sure that I know it's Not me...for one it's the cover...so we have lots of Fun...doing many positions...trying new...and then he finishs himself off cumming all over my breasts...the other guy...he is new to hobbying and has been with his wife for 40 years...so it's a mental thing and his goal is to get over it...lol...however I personally think if your only reason for coming and seeing me is for the Big Finish...Yes You are wasting your time and $$...it's All about the Journey Not the Destination...it also sounds like You are trying to hard...Relax...get the right woman...and Enjoy the Journey

I can normally go over and over again if the experience is just mind blowing.

I find that if I'm with a lady who's sole goal is to get me over the finish line, I really get turned off and it is just hard to happen at that point, so I just try to enjoy the ride as much as possible.  This to me is what divides the really great providers and the crappy ones.  It has nothing to do with looks.

Also, sometimes, if I'm dehydrated, or other physical circumstances are involved, that can play a huge part.

I'm always in search for that mind blowing experience, but my funds are not the highest, so it's usually hit or miss.  (Nikki Avalon is mind blowing.)

Well, it takes me longer to cross via CBJ but I kinda figured out why, so with my ladies I try to give subtle hints of what is working for me.  I don't know the types of women you see but maybe some of the girls arent really your type in one fashion or another.  I figured out early on that if I settle for less than what I am looking for, it wont matter how skilled she is, it just isn't as good for me.  Then again, I will admit that I am very picky about lots of things in my life so that's all on me.