Hi, I recently had a rather awkward and frustrating situation, and I'd really appreciate input from the ladies and gentlemen here.

A few months back, I was touring and I met with a nice gentleman. He was very outgoing and friendly. However, during the appointment he spoke endlessly about another provider, his ATF.  I am not exaggerating. He spoke about her constantly, including during "intimate" moments. At the end of the session, he even suggested we get on my laptop, so he could show me her website.

During the session, it was very obvious to me that it did not matter who I was, or what I did, that I could not fill her shoes, as he really did not want to be with anyone else. But the appointment was booked, he did not give any indication of wanting to leave, so I put my best foot forward and did my best to satisfy him... knowing it was a "no win" situation, as he so clearly holds his ATF in such high esteem.

I believe, and my reviews will show, that I am an excellent, well-reviewed and respected provider, and my clients know that I always put extra effort into ensuring that my clients are happy and satisfied.

Now, months later, this gentleman has posted a mediocre review of me. I guess I should let it roll off my back, but honestly, it's hard.  I am a person and have feelings too. I kept asking myself, "why is he booking this appointment if his heart is not really in it?" It really seemed to me that the hottest porn star on the planet wouldn't have satisfied him.

So, I'm curious and would like some opinions (from both ladies and gents) on how I could have better handled this situation.

Thank you for your thoughts!
xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

...world, but it is also true with providers.  As you said, "I am a person and have feelings too."  It stands to reason that a guy can expect a better time if he greets a girl with a big grin and says, "Wow, you are beautiful and I am lucky," than if he spends his hour talking about another woman and gives her the impression that she's coming out second in the comparison.
Just because it stands to reason, however, doesn't mean that people are always going to be reasonable.  YMMV, as they say, and what also varies are social skills.
I know you gave it your best, Beverly.  Having had the pleasure myself, I also know that that is a very good "best" indeed.  There was no way you could have handled it better.  Chalk it up to experience, and look ahead to the next adventure.

That has happened to me before to and I did let it role off my back but it bothered me a whole lot. Gentlemen could show a little more attention to the provider they are with.I would be interested in others replies here too but the review would be off  if he really wasnt paying attention.

Seriously, Your review speak for themselves.  and you cannot please everyone all the time.  I would let it roll of your back.  Easy to say?  No, as we all do sometimes get fixated on a specific provider... IF you are a gentleman, you learn to not look disappointed when the door opens... afterall - it is another human bean standing there....  and it sounds like this gent somehow cannot realize that.  

I find some ladies in this hobby - not to my liking... but hopefully - I would never hurt their feelings intentionally - or through boorish behavior.  and that is what this sounds like... ignore it... his review too, will be ignored by those who truly know how to use the review system.

When I do my research, I don't let one review sway me one way or another.  I tend to make my own personal choice on looks and look at more than one review to decide if the general trend of a particular provider's performance ratings makes her somebody I might see.  

From looking at your reviews, there were a few gentlemen that gave you average scores.  However, if you look at their reviews they tend to give everybody low scores.  

I know I hated getting a C grade when I went to school so I know where you are coming from.  However, I don't think the average scores from somebody that always gives average scores is going to really hurt you. Even though it bothers you I would just move on.

Beverly, I sympathise with you and can offer an explanation for his rudeness: He is in love with his ATF who likely doesn't reciprocate. Being in such a bind, he's trying to forget her by moving on but can't suppress his hurt ego by talking to you constantly about her.....Just my opinion.

and being the "professional" and great person that you are.. you did you very best under the most difficult of circumstances.

From all the support you have gotten on this board, it is apparent that those who know you.. realize that this mediocre review does not reflect what the majority of clients feel about you.

Keep your chin up!

hugs..
SINfully sinthia

with true professionalism.  

If he saw you over three months ago you do have recourse if you wish to have it removed.

Being a hobbyist instead of a provider, I had somewhat of an opposite experience recently. I was making small talk with a lady and asked her about her travels overseas. Normally you get an answer like "I was in such and such a city and like the museum/food/etc". Instead, I got a travelouge of the different types of men she had been with for extended periods of time. Whaaaa????   Talk about a potential mood killer. No, I don't want to hear about how your foreign boyfriend treated you like a jerk but you still stayed too long with him. I felt like I was hearing a cheap Euro novel.  Thankfully I am able to compartmentalize and found something else she could talk about. (and she talked and talked...)

I don't know what else you could have done. Sorry for your experience. I think guys naturally like to 'rank' whatever they are focused on, but he didn't show any tact in your situation.

Bev,
I have read your posts for quite a while, but this one take the proverbial cake.  I have not read other replies because I did not want to be influenced by their words.

Seems to me, this guy has a serious fixation over this other provider.  I was just numb-struck over how you described his behavior.  IMHO, there is no excuse for it. I would never, and most of us hobbyists too, would never compare the lady which we are canoodling with another we have seen before.  What was he thinking?????  Just outrageous!!!!!

Your reviews have shown you to be a very good provider.  I am just speechless as to how this guy treated you.  Inexcusable, in my book.

Needless to say, if he ever calls for a session again, you will be busy.  Whatta jerk.  It's guys like him that lower providers' opinions of hobbyists.

Done with ranting.  You handled situation very well, not sure I would have done the same, had the situation been reversed.

Swim

There are some that no matter what you do they will not be happy.  As long as you know you did your very best in this situation that is all that matters.  At the end of the day those that know you will realize this is just a blip on the radar.  

It would seem to me that he is the one who has a problem not you sweetie...

Muah,
Lea

is that on both sides, there are people who are somewhat "off."  This guy was off, not you, Bev.

He's into abusing people.  His purpose in having the session was to upset you -- I've seen this several times with other providers.  It's just a fact that certain guys out there are like this.  He's sick.  The nasty review is part of his M.O. as well.

Ignore him; or feel compassion for this worm, who can't manage to relate to another person, even in the context of a session, where the basic rules (pay to play) are clear.

But maybe he was "in love" with his ATF and when that ended, you were his "rebound" provider.

Funny, how people have brought up falling in love with providers but have not considered what happens when "love goes wrong."  Is it possible the recovery process might mirror civvie life?

Not excusing his behavior, it was tactless and insensitive, just trying to understand it.

-- Modified on 8/3/2007 8:56:48 PM

The guy is kind of weird by comparing you to his ATF.

To give him the benefit of the doubt he is entitled to write you a luke warm review if you didn't 'match up'.  Obviously you have a lot of other reviews so it won't affect you too much.

YMMV works both ways.

A very similar thing happened to me recently Beverly so I know how much it sucks.

My client spoke about this other provider all through our meeting (thankfully only an hour) and I really wished he just seen her rather than booked me!

It happened to me too.  It was a couple of years back, but here's my story:

The gent that contacted me attempted to make an appointment during one of our large conventions.  He said he wanted something late night.  He kept putting me off and changing the appointment until the last day that he was going to be here.  I typically don't take appointments before noon.  I'm just not an AM kinda girl.  But, it was his last day and he could only see me at 9 AM.  I explained that I wasn't a morning person, but that I would do my best.  At 10 minutes to 9 AM, I phoned to tell him I would be a few minutes late due to morning traffic on the freeway.  I arrived at his door at 9:05 AM.  I was scheduled for 2 hours.  During our time together he told me that he usually only sees one person in town...his ATF.  However, she wasn't in town at this time and couldn't see him, so he chose to see me.  I did my best during the appointment, but somehow he seemed disappointed.  I even stayed an extra hour to make-up for being late.  I knew he wasn't thrilled for some reason, but I couldn't figure out what the problem was.  Then I read the review.  I was very hurt!  The very first thing he said was that I was late.  He didn't mentioned that it was only 5 minutes and that I called first, nor that I had stayed an extra hour.  He went step by step through the date....his only complaint....I wasn't beautiful enough.  In his words, I wasn't "as beautiful as most providers that Vegas has to offer."  Now, I look exactly like my photos.  Something that he acknowledged in my presence.  So, how he could be disappointed is beyond me. I was very hurt by his review, so much so that I quit reading my reviews for a long time.  How much more hurtful can you get than to attack a woman on something she can't change?  He didn't say I was fat (I could lose wt.), he didn't complain about anything I'd done (except being 5 minutes late).  He attacked my looks.  I just wasn't beautiful enough.  

I finallly come to the conclusion that no one could please him.  He wanted his ATF and no one else would do.  He certainly couldn't complain about the level of service I offered, just that I wasn't beautiful enough.  

My point in all of this?  Sometimes there is nothing that you can do.  You weren't her and that's that.  If you had called an end to the session, he would have written an even worse review.  You were in a no-win situation.  All you can do now is rely on the strength of your other reviews and realize within yourself that he was the one with the problem..not you.  Most of the men who read reviews here know how to weed out reviews like that one from the bulk.  If you're consistantly good, your numbers will show it.

Now, here's another question for the ladies.  I don't know if it only applies to Vegas or not, but something I and my friends have noticed.  Our only mediocre reviews seem to be written in July.  I can go back a couple of years and it holds true.  And it's not just me.  It's happening to several of my friends.  From reading the boards here, it appears to be holding true elsewhere.  Anyone else experiencing this phenomenon?

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 12:01:40 AM

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 12:09:54 AM

First on the review - If it is the most recent review then the narrative describes a much better experience than the numbers.  Regardless of that, your overall scores are fantastic so getting one outlier like this is not a problem when guys read the reviews.  Other well reviewed providers have one or two mediocre reviews.
Second his behavior in the session is a bit odd, probably rude and I can imagine awkard for you. Hopefully you have met a lot of nice guys in the hobby and he is the exception.
I don't think there is anything to do here but hope these opinions were helpful to you.

He left with fond memories of his ATF, and at least you left with a pocket full of change

To me, you can yap all about your ATF, your pending divorce, your kids, your dogs, whatever you want! As long as I get my fee at the end of the session

one bad date will remind u how nice it is when us normal guys tell u how beautiful u r, how great u r and how lucky we are.   One bite of bad apple should not make u forget how great all the other apples are in this world.......ps, guy sounds like a loser, u go forward, and he goes back to the past, guess who will have a better life.

you're plenty beautiful enough for me!

some of us men are assholes all the time and some of us are assholes only part of the time.

Mary,

Looking at your website photos I can't believe any guy would write "as beautiful as most providers that Vegas has to offer."  The guy is a twit.  If I ever get Vegas I will look you up.

You truly are an amazingly beautiful woman.  I have had the pleasure of spending time with you privately and socially.  Your beauty lights up the room.  As you walk by, your beauty catches our eyes and makes us turn our heads to continue to watch you walk away.

Yes, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and I am one of the lucky ones that have behold your beauty and have very fond memories of such.

A card holding member of the Mary O'Malley Fan Club,

Ken xoxo

Your very kind comments are greatly appreciated.  I can feel myself blushing as I read them.  Thanks, I feel much better now!

It can be very annoying. Asking about someone else in the business doesn't bother me in the slightest, nor does complimenting another friend in the business. However, talking about how great another woman is during the entire appointment is rude. It makes me want to say, "That is so great that you feel that way about her. Why didn't you book an appointment with her, hon?" I have been told by other providers that men say nice things about me but I hope they don't go on and on about me. Guys: Be conscientious about other's feelings. Things like Beverly states in this post make a lady feel less than attractive (like second best). It would make me want to say, "Hey! Let's play a game. You give me a photo of your ATF and I'll staple it to my face, then we'll put the covers over the rest of my body, and -- before you DATY me -- I'll blindfold you. Wouldn't that be fun?"  Geez!

However, I have come to realize that there are still some men who really think of us as just creating a service for them and that is okay. After all, that is exactly what we are doing. But certain things do take away from us wanting to be romantic and enduce a sexy atmosphere. I have also had a few newbies who continually ask me about other women. I don't mind but they should ask me after the appointment or in an email. They can always say to me, "Do you mind if I ask you for referrrals for other women?" I am smart and confident, so I realize men want diversity and I am not offended. In fact, I have never understood when other women get jeolous of men contacting others for appointments. Silly, silly, silly. We are not their girlfriends.

Beverly, the next time a client does this to you say, "Well, you are here with me now. So let's have some fun." Then proceed to give him the ultimate bbbj. That usually shuts him up.

Hugs,
Ciara
oxox

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 5:02:23 PM

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 5:04:30 PM

I had this happen to me three times since I've been in this business. Luckily, it was in the early stages of my career. I was more natural looking and kept my hair soft and only at shoulder's length. Now, I put on the makeup, the oil (add hair if needed, which a lot of us do) and hear nothing but positive things. So much for guys liking the natural look.

Hugs,
ciara

Beverly,
 I have been there a few years back and I know it is very difficult to fill another's shoes. We can't please them all but we sure try our best. If our best isn't enough the only thing we can do is move on and feel satisfied that we did try. Hold your head high sweetie  

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 9:03:26 PM

I appreciate all of your comments, thoughts, and ideas, very much.

I do feel better now. And while I hate the idea of this kind of thing happening to anyone else, at the same time it's kind of nice to know I'm not alone.

Gentlemen, when I am with you, I am focused totally on *you.* I am appreciating you for who you are. I am not comparing you with anyone else... because each human being on this planet is wonderful and unique in their own way. I want to celebrate that!

I appreciate the kind men here who understand that each woman is special in her own way, too.

xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

As I like your face.... another tactic that is sure to distract a dude is to let candles burn down and start setting the furniture on fire... least that works with me...

but perhaps the best tactic would be to just blindfold the dude... tie him to the bed.... And leave! lol!!!  Imagine the anticipation!  

Seriously, to date, very few ladies have disappointed me... and then there are those who exceed my fantasies...  ya just gotta let it happen.

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 11:39:39 PM

-- Modified on 8/4/2007 11:40:28 PM

At least it wasn't the movie, "The Burning Bed."

Hugs,
Ciara

Yeah, in this instance, I tried the ultimate BBBJ. No dice... apparently, his ATF also moonlights as a professional sword-swallower.

xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

You're a sweet gal. I would have felt same & did decline one appt when the guy in email went on about his ATF who he has seen for years, she is HOT & 'how I was to make him forget about her'. Ya right, no thanks. This guy was sooo into her.

Kinda a turnoff to have to hear about another lady on your date & how great she was. Sounds like it was way too much.

I think you did the best with the situation.

Sara

Sounds as if you did your best, knowing what the situation was....and that's why you are a "Professional" you carry on regardless of the circumstances!

Mary, your web site is good and your pics are great.  If I were going to Las Vegas, I'd try to schedule you in a heartbeat.

Great cum-back.

Not many providers would see a client who was obviously blind AND insane!