Thanks for clarifying my point and for the follow up post... I do understand that there is a difference between civvie and hobby world.
Newbie with limited experience- wanted to post a topic that has been "gnawing" at me. Growing up, I was the "guy" that never attracted the "cool girls" - was always labeled "nice and friendly" (and worst- "safe").
Now, having seen beautiful ladies in the "hobby", I'm experiencing a change. I feel confident - confident with my age, my looks - just confident in me. I find myself taking a look at a girl and not feel uneasy- at times I even feel a bit "sexy".
I'm not one to ever approach a beautiful woman (for one I have an SO and the other don't want the "bubble" burst with rejection)- but I do like the confidence- the feeling of it. Question is - is it False Confidence?
Gents- has this hobby affected you in this way?
Ladies, for what it's worth, you do gents (speaking for myself) a great service. Other than the obvious physical "benefits", you definitely boost the morale! Hey...that can be a marketing "tagline" . LOL
Hobby Safe!
"I'm not one to ever approach a beautiful woman don't want the "bubble" burst with rejection)- but I do like the confidence- the feeling of it. Question is - is it False Confidence?"
Quadfuscious says...Man who can not deal with rejection does not try enough...........................................
Surviving rejection until you eventually receive acceptance{not to be confused with stalking the same lady} will give you enough confidence to get what you need, but no one always gets what they want..
"Gents- has this hobby affected you in this way?"
Quadfuscious says..It has saved me much money..
I figure if I go out,stay sober,looking for babes and I am not tramping, my rejection rate is around 90 -95 %.. So to meet and sleep with one lady that I find desirable I have to go out at least 9 times for one carnal fest.. and sometimes as many as 20 times... Counting gas , food , drinks, parking , tips ,and different bar tabs it costs at least a couple hundred a night just to prowl ... and thats not counting the cab rides the nights I drink too much or the fines I have to pay for soliciting the Police lady street walker, on my empty handed horny drive home....
So every time I see a provider I am actually saving money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.and less chance of my GF finding out..
Quadfuscious says ... Stick with your GF and visit more providers and live long and prosper.
I tend to agree with most of what quadseasonal wrote, except for his subject line. Of course, trying to get laid in the civvie world is nothing like hiring a provider, so if you think your "success" with providers is going to directly translate into success with non-providers, you are mistaken.
But I don't think that's what the original question was about (gmancala326 says he is in a relationship). I view it more generally. I think our friend was really saying. "Now that I have been intimate with beautiful women, who previously I would have considered unapproachable,
- I am more able to be myself with a beautiful woman.
- I am not so worried about rejection that I can't open up and loosen up.
- I know that I have had sexual experiences that are probably better than the (civilian) object of my desire has had.
- Does this give me a little confidence?
- Does it let me smile knowingly, at whatever subject arises (rather than blushing and stammering)?
- Is this likely to make me seem more mature and cool (if not more desirable)?"
I think the answer to my (admittedly rhetorical) questions is Yes.
So can this be a good thing? Yes, but as quadseasonal says, don't take it too far. Don't assume that every woman is a pro or a slut. Most women would probably be shocked if they knew what you have done behind closed doors. Remember that women are individuals and don't assume you can always have what you want. That being said, imagine her naked and enjoy your newfound confidence.
filmat11
-- Modified on 7/17/2008 9:58:55 PM
Thanks for clarifying my point and for the follow up post... I do understand that there is a difference between civvie and hobby world.
I tend to agree with you except the source of my lack of confidence is different. When in the presence of a sexy woman in my pre hobby days, I felt completely helpless. The sexual power the woman held over me was overwhelming. I would do anything not to displease this other woman in the hope that I would not be rejected sexually. Even though I never had the intention of making a pass.
Since starting the hobby, I no longer feel this lack of symmetry in my encounters with the opposite sex. I am thinking "i've been with women as beutiful as you" and it has changed the whole sexual power dynamic for me. I have to say the whole experience has been liberating.
No such thing unless you plan to do some physical or mental deed that is quantifiable where failure has real consequences. Better be sure before you try an Evel Kneivel stunt. Otherwise, if you feel confident, you are. You have a SO so you are not out on the prowl. but if you were, you would find that confidence leads to success particularly if you can ignore any rejections. Confidence is sexy and it leads to the ability to ignore any rejections without taking them personally. The last time I was single, I would ask ANYONE (unless she worked for me or was a student of mine,or was age inappropriate, etc.)who appealed to me for a date. If I asked 20 and 19 said "get lost" and one said yes, I had just managed to get a date with one attractive woman. I never took the rejections as personal. Otherwise, enjoy your new found powers.
-- Modified on 7/18/2008 3:28:36 AM
Confidence is confidence. As long as you have all of your powers of deductive reasoning in tact your experiences with providers can all get filed away in your memory banks and will contribute to your demeanor around all women.
The mistake that some men make is forgetting that the women we PAY for sex wouldn't be there if we were not paying them. That doesn't mean that both parties are not interacting in good faith once they are put in the same room.
Just keep your wits about you and be honest with yourself about what parts the money buys you and what parts you get on your own.
The new found confidence found by many after experiencing the hobby does wonders for eliminating that sexual faux pas of faux pas.
Once you know that you can get laid by beautiful women whenever you like, rejection is no longer an issue.Women can smell desperation and don't respect any man that they can lead around by the nose (or other anatomical parts) That alone is worth the price of admission.
if the hobbyist is seeing a higly rated,very selective provider with a high rejection rate in her screening process----that can make the hobbyist feel "special" & give him a motivation & morale "boost", that can extend to many other areas of functioning besides asking civie women out on dates.
It's all about the mindset.
Most girls I know have said that since becoming a provider they have higher expectations from the civvie guys they date!
Also a confidence boost for us I guess, and hey, fake it til ya make it baby!!
Its hardly false confidence to see a beautiful provider and enjoy her and, if she is either into what she is doing or a very talented actress, feel damn good that you pleased her.
You could look at it like a boxer having a sparring partner, someone to tune up with. For those of us who are attached with little activity at home, after awhile I start wondering if I've still 'got it.' A good romp with a provider usually affirms that I do.
A few years ago I got to know a dancer from a club here. She was an absolute 10. Former gymnast and former dancer in a top Vegas show, very athletic body with exceptional enhancements. She saw a limitied number of men outside the club and she eventually offered her time to me. I saw her 3 times and it was better each time and I came away feeling great as she at least told me how good it was for her. Was she lieing and faking her O's? Maybe. I'm not arrogant enough to believe I can't be fooled but it was a huge ego boost every time.
One thing though, whether you are with a no-kidding provider or a dancer in a club, you can't ever forget who you are or where you are. The girls wouldn't give us a second look without the money. But how is that different from the 'Trophy Wives' I see in the grocery store with diamonds that cost more than my car on their finger?
MVR
If you feel confident, then it's real...only matters how you feel inside. The hobby will do that for you...being able to to play at will and at your discretion is empowering! Screw civvie world...hobby world gives you the power of choice, and if it carries over, if only in your own mind, so much the better...