How To Date A Sex Worker
http://christianbvega.blogspot.com/2013/04/how-to-date-sex-worker.html

IMO it is a well written article that is helpful

Especially for ladies who may have a "boyfriend" or guys who may be in a realationhip with a provider  "girlfriend". Keeping "work" separate in a relationsip can be very difficult at best. Both parties need to understand that her activities is "just a job" - not many guys are strong enough to accept that, unfortunately.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 3:35:36 PM

I clicked on the link expecting a bunch of nonsensical platitudes written by somebody who has never been there, but I was pleasantly surprised.

I have been in many short and long term relationships with both current and ex providers, and i am currently in one now with an active provider.

I will disagree with one statement though, if I ever find "the one and only" for me, I will ask her, actually I will "insist" that she stop doing this line of work, but not on the first date. lol

What I find surprising is how jealous providers themselves can get, my current GF is about to drive me away with HER jealousy, she thinks I am fucking everything that walks,  and that's just simply not the truth., and she is not the first that has been that way.

FWIW I am happily divorced and I never met any of these women by cheating on another woman. Any provider who gets involved with a married man should know that if he is cheating on his present wife, he is eventually going to cheat on her as well.

It has more to do with values vs. jealousy. If you are not a person who believes in sleeping with others when you have a mate, you're never going to accept it. Knowing what you want out of a relationship is the first step, and too many people convince themselves they can handle things, they simply can't. They just don't want to lose that person so they put up with it, then it gets crazy. I would never ask any person I truly loved to "like or accept" what I do, because I even know this is not forever for me. If I truly desired to be a provider for the rest of my life, then things would be different. He could either accept it or take a hike, but here is the catch...I would never date someone who accepted it lol.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 4:07:50 PM

There have been issues like "no gas left in the tank for me" with a couple, which unfortunately ended the relationship, but not the friendship.

No, as long as that's what our relationship is, yes I can put it aside. The bigger issue is, if I ask a woman to quit her job for me, and she does, that means I have to be making an equal committment to her, and as most here already know, I am an immature, whoremongering pig, who is absolutely terified of committment. lol

I read all of that but I still don't understand how anyone can love the job. Obsession with materialism I guess.

I quit working so I wouldn't lose the man I loved. My husband is way more important than anything imaginable


Samiam

And, I hear you are a great woman and wife...won't say by whom ha ha.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 6:04:38 PM

When I first dated my BF, he did not deal well, but he tried... and did not want to hear anything...  

Thank you sweety. I really loved your opinion above


Samiam

see what a amazing man I had...... and now that I finally appreciate him, I wont let him go lol

So, try not look at everything based your values and you are convinced yours are the right one’s.  

you will never understand how someone can ever deal with it. From the sounds of it, your husband couldn’t deal with it so you changed.

Which is my point, but if TWO people don't feel the same about their relationships, that's a damn war. I would not go marry an atheist and get pissed he did not believe in God. I would not marry a guy who was bisexual, knowing I don't want him banging other dudes. I would not date a hobbyist and get mad that he sees hookers. Each person's values or expectations have to match, or the relationship falls apart. It's really that simple. Don't date someone and try to change them. Either accept them for what they are, or move on along and let them do the same. I would never want to change a person to be what I wanted...I simply avoid those types of people for life mates.



-- Modified on 4/10/2013 7:09:42 PM

Who makes the better partner:  hobbyists or noon-hobbyists; or does it matter?

Just curious.

I am pretty jealous I know, it is hypocritical... at least I admit it. But I find that he is the best partner/lover/friend I ever had...  

If we are talking better lovers, I am keeping that to myself lol.

while I have had some great lovers in my clients... My BF is the best.... ever...  

Totally agree, and was speaking on skill alone. The BEST I have ever had has been in real life, but I have had better lovers in the hobby on a whole compared to guys I have dated.

OMG I met this guy in my personal life and he said he doesnt DATY... I was like buh bye

I loved him enuff to realize to have a successful marriage I had to quit. I don't wish to discuss this any longer. I made the correct choice. I made a BAD choice coming here


Samiam

If we're talking about a 'relationship partner', that's a boundary that I am sure most escorts aren't interested in crossing for various reasons.

If you're talking about a 'sexual partner', the best purely physical sex is with a client I've seen for years. Wow, the sex is intense...whew! But if you're talking about emotional sex partner, then I'd have to say it has only been and could only be with a real boyfriend b/c there's real deep and genuine love/connection that's so beautiful and amazing.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 4:51:07 PM

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 4:53:24 PM

Many, many women have hobbyists as there "real" partner and don't know it. Just saying Wonders.

Well said. If I fell in love...REAL LOVE, I would walk away from this shit in a heartbeat. It's a fkin job, and that's it! It is NOT my identity, and I would never date a guy who thought it was "cool." He would have to let me keep posting on TER though lol.

Well, I think she means she would not do it knowingly. If he is cheating on her, that's another story, but she would never pursue a guy she knew was lying to someone else.

But sadly I cant walk away till I finish school, so he and I just have to deal till then

Your situation is different...this is not destroying your relationship. It may have been with hers, and no one can tell another person what they "should do." We all do what is best for us, and what works for US. Fk the world.

Are you planning on graduating before 85?

Breathing is natural. Sweating is natural. Peeing is natural. Or is that squirting? Lol. In my experience, those that try and "conquer" jealousy get crushed by it.  

And they can not be the ones to judge or make a decision that will affect her entire life... No one knows the struggles that any of us have by doing this job... And I agree, if for her, it was best to leave and focus on the love of her life... that is her choice, and it was right for her if she is happy..

wouldn't knowingly have an escort or ex-escort as a real partner. P4P just isn't a quality I'd knowingly accept in a real romantic and serious partner.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 5:16:05 PM

Well stated. It's as if some people just say, "Well, I can't change them, hate what they do, but I can't find what I really want, so I will deal with it." That's not love..it's DESPERATION! If you secretly hate what someone does and you stay because you are too scared to be alone, they are not the one with the problem..you are.

I had no other goals when I started this to go back to school. I actually have a college degree in Early Childhood Education. However, I had no desire to go back to school and was having fun in this job...  

Most accredited schools in Accountancy are now six year programs culminating with the CPA review classes....leading to the passing of that 3 day test.

It takes 2 years at most, here, to become a CPA. I also have a friend who did the shit online and is now a CPA...thanks to um...CPA lol.

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 8:22:48 PM

15 units, and I estimated I will be ready to transfer to a 4 year in about 2.5yrs  

yeah here you have to have a bachelors before they let you take the test... so...

after falling deep in love with him. However, if I knew that info at the beginning of us getting to know each other, I'd pass as fast as the speed of light!

I get what you're saying though. That scenario of not knowing up front and then falling in love makes total sense to me for sure and I'm sure happens more than most ladies would ever know.xoxo

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 5:26:14 PM

Congrats on working toward that degree.

Took me over 7 years to get what I have now, and still can't get a job paying more than 60k to start.

on taking 3-4 classes and we are a quarter system. If I want my full grants, and financial aid, you have to go FT...  

You never know for sure till you are in that situation. Emotion makes us do illogical things.

I had this hot escort friend, and I knew my bf was hot for her... I thought it would be hot for him to go be with her and tell me after... I was totally into this, and not jealous with this girl, because she was one of my  closest friends.  

-- Modified on 4/10/2013 6:09:14 PM

Yep. Both of my husbands were that way, actually. Neither lasted even a year lol. If I truly love someone, not bringing home other women. If I am just fkin him...sure.

One hell of a story to bad it couldn't have been put on here a few months sooner? Damn the luck, I might have learned something lol.

Even a lousy bellhop knows there are better choices. But you already knew that.

This board already has one too many fucking accountants!

You just have to decide it is not something you want to be a part of our life. Remember being a kid and getting really jealous that someone else had a better toy than you? You learned to tame that, right? Same with sexual or relational jealousy.

How do you know ChgoCPA doesn't have boobies?  Hell, I'm not even so sure he's really a guy!

Dedication & intimacy.

Pair bonding and its appreciation can differ from person to person. I am not a person who is given to "sole dedication" in a physical sense. I know many people similar to me (as a matter of fact, probably many men here, even if they don't want to admit it).  

Well...I might argue a pair bond is primeval in the basic survival unit sense; pre any ethos...IOW parents working to ensure their offspring are successful...However I am not implying that in a greater than nuclear family structure- stretching to tribe, that any mutual one on one bonds were exclusive.

I agree with both of you...shocking lol. I do not think sex is the most intimate thing two people can share, but I do think when you are truly soul mates the sex completes you. On another note..I don't believe in brainwashing or numbing myself to "deal" with what any man throws my way. By that, I mean it's not about jealousy but about RESPECT. I don't give a flying fk how much jealousy you claim to be without...if your best friend, lover, soul mate, fked your brother or sister, you're going to feel something. If you don't, you are either too damaged or too stupid to see how fked up that really is.

So many women have been abused and cheated on their entire lives, they have convinced themselves through a defense mechanism that it's ok, because they can't find anyone to be faithful to them. Very rarely do women have this ideal from a young age. They try for monogamy and get fked over so many times, they just pretend it's ok to be with a man who fks anything that moves. Sorry, but not for me. I have never had a problem with guys being faithful, but I do have a problem with boredom.

Many people are so desperate for love or just a best friend, they will do anything just to keep that person from leaving them, even if it means pretending to be ok with things that are painful. Seems  sad to me. I don't believe in "settling" because I have let a few past lovers convince me, I am not worth more.

-- Modified on 4/11/2013 10:51:35 PM

Y So Srs?