Your humble correspondent was stricken with a vile flu and took to bed for the past two days. Lacking the energy go forth and do as he pleases, he took the bait of an online dating and mating website; morbid curiosity had edged out physical need for the nonce.

O gawd what awful stuff: "Im looking for boys who like to be ordered around and humiliated for my pleasure". Thanks just the same, lady.

or..."Conservative down to earth gal looking for a little adventure and fun"  unnh huhhh...

my my, this one is tempting.."I don't know what I'm doing here, but it could be interesting..". Not.

"What's up?" Dunno, the ceiling I guess...

"Wanting to hear some stories of naughty adventures" Oh I could tell you, but I don't think you really want to know...

"In life, there are no dress rehearsals...make everyday an opening night!!" I'm panting with anticipation. Six benjamins and a tube of lube, we're good to go...

"Step into my parlour, said the ..." man with the can of bug spray...

"i seek a person to share time and space with me." in purgatory.

"NO MARRIED MEN
NO MEN WITH GIRLFRIENDS
NO MEN OVER 32
I'M VERY STRICT ABOUT THIS SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER IF YOU FIT INTO ANY ONE OF THESE CATAGORIES!! "  Yowwwww....


"America's Most Wanted Female"... what does that translate to per hour ?

"one who will be MY Lover, Partner and Best Friend. Are YOU, Intimate, Romantic, Compassionate, Affectionate, Creative and Spontaneous? Then send me a note and lets talk. WOULD Love to wake up next to my partner and start our day with a Smile." No, in fact I am cheap, suspicious, gimlet eyed, phlegmatic, and unbathed...

'No "fast freddies",'... oh, I will gladly hump you for hours...

"Tis the season to find a snuggle partner..." eck....

"What size are your feet????" You can't be serious.

"i'm a long-legged fun & very sexy transsexual female seeking F/M or F/F couples for friendship and sexual adventure within a threesome (or more?). just to get this out of the way... i'm "non-op". but otherwise -- sensually & in life, i'm accepted fully as female." Thank you for sharing. No go to the TS board and stay there.

"Can you make me tingle down to my toes!" Can you spell DATY ?

"grenade in french kitchen=linoleum blownapart" Say WHAT???

"something tells me that I'm going to get a lot more responses from here...but that doesn't mean i'm looking for what the section title is implying. I'm just looking to to talk with people right now (with this, msn preferably) Let's get something cleared: i'll chat with you but don't ask to meet in person, i'm not looking for that unless when really click when we're chatting ok? " OOOOOkay...


A round of applause to all of our contestants.

Those quotes are too funny.....

I don't see any value either:

Research.... several hours
A few emails.... several hours
A few dates..... way too many hours, many boring dates, with no serious action
Finally maybe fs.... and she probably won't be a fraction as hot and good as our best providers.

Why mess with all that when you can just fork out whatever it costs and know you'll be getting what you want?

"And if you happen to be a total freak; a skank; a skeezer; a lowlife, my world is NOT open to you. (of course you wouldn't admit to being these things, but come on, you know who you are.) IF however, you are well-balanced, well-rounded, SAFE, and GENUINELY fit & attractive, and NOT a complete basket-case, (just an all-around good person / couple looking for some fun), then come into my world... I'll leave the door unlocked. (wink-wink)"

Awww c'mom pretty baby... howzabowt a winkydink for the ol cap'n ???

Miko Lee is seeming more reasonable by the second.

I too have been struck by the high-maintenance relationship ads in the "civilian" personals. Just curious how you feel about being "alone" for the rest of your life.

-- Modified on 12/15/2002 5:41:28 PM

Of course they are hard to find and maintain. The question is, how much do you want a relationship?  Good sex is very important, even vital to a sense of well being.  But not, in my opinion, sufficient to provide a complete sense of satisfaction.  I know from my own experience that a relaionship with excellent sex but little else usually fizzles out because I need more... OK, maybe it's an impossible dream.  I'm willing to admit that possibility.

it's hard to see life the way I once saw it. i.e. when I didn't know or appreciate what the hobby could do for one's whole existence.

Paraphrasing what Bookman has said repeatedly, there is a hidden presumption that men should be required to work their way though a labyrinth to arrive at a sexual place with women, and men who cut corners lack respect for the labyrinth, therefore should be denied respect if it becomes common knowledge that the consort with Lilith and her offspring.


Those personals I quoted from were written by women in a section devoted to sexual encounters, not primarily in search of dating or marriages. I could not help but sense that many of them knew little about sex OR relationships, and from the photos, much about controlling their weight either.

There appears to be something in the way that our culture channels emotional development that keeps a significant percentage of our adult population in an unformed state.

That unformedness really shows up when people try to connect with each other and offer up these half baked declarations of selfhood as proxies for their identities.

The social theory is that the persuit of the hobby is immature. Said to stunt the normal development of a male adult. Leads to the Peter Pan Syndrome, or is a consequence of the same.

Absolute rubbish. It allows men to cut through the Ghordian Knot of quid-pro-quo sexual intercourse and deal with women minus the background noise of churning reproductive imperatives, i.e. fantasizing about everyone you meet who passes the boinkability test.

My standards for whom I would want to form a long term relationship with have increased significantly. I can see beautiful young women and admire their sexuality without desiring it. The knowledge that one can have sex with several in a row in the space of a few hours absolutely undercuts the mechanism of desiring most what one cannot have.

Instead of being alone, I believe that I am able to be with women more deeply, more respectfully, more empathetically, in an egoless way. There's not the same concern nagging me that I am either passing or failing a potential mate test somewhere back in our hypothalamuses.

Even when my escort tunred GF abruptly needed to (temporarily ?) end our relationship, I felt no rejection, no anger, precious little "self stuff"... she has her reasons, she's a good woman with some heavy baggage, I'm here for her if she needs me, I'm not going to force anything is she thinks she doesn't.

I guess this whole adventure has brought me a greater measure of inner peace, self acceptance, other acceptance, that I would have imagined possible before I got into it. There's a kind of sublimity there, transcendence of a lot of stupidity and self defeating life scripts.

That's a not bad foundation to build the rest of your life on.

Irrevently funny sex fiend with shady past ISO well hung genius.

i won't give you the blow by blow of the following content, but I let prospects know that walks on the beach i save for my dog...snuggling is fine for about 5 minutes post coital and then you need to move, and If you get a second date you will probably get laid cause i wouldn't be wasting my time unless i wanted to fuck you....a bit forward but it has gotten me alot of responses.

"half baked declarations of selfhood as proxies for their identities." Wow, that's a quotable quote!

I feel much as you do, and can never look at relationships (or marriage) the same way after being exposed to the hobby. It just gets a bit expensive.

By alone I meant well into feeble old age, not as a sexually functioning mid-life bachelor.

Thank you seventhson for your insightful post.


-- Modified on 12/16/2002 5:12:04 PM

When I determined to find sex outside my dying marriage, I wanted something that would not complicate life.  Somehow I stumbled onto these boards and sampled the hobby shortly thereafter.  The ladies were quite nice, the sex was great, but I knew the elements of affection and connection were illusory.  I then tried one of those internet ad series and connected with a woman the next county over.  We emailed for awhile, met face to face once without consummation, and then arranged a hotel meet with nice results.  The affection is genuine, she is married also and not looking to get out of her marriage, or at least not looking to me to be her savior.  She is close to my age (50) so she is not going to be confused with any model or with most of the providers posting here.  But she is screwing me not my wallet and when she comes I know it's real.  The cost is less:  $100-150 for a decent room and maybe $10-20 for a bottle of wine.  

The positive part of the mistress is that I know her affection and responses are real and her life experience is not far from mine, making her good company. Oh, and also we have given up using a raincoat, which is quite nice. The negative is that she's not gorgeous and there are times when I am done that I would just like to get up, take a shower and leave, without the usual cuddling.  Like Charlie Sheen said, "I don't pay them for sex, I pay them to leave."  The positive part of providers is that one can choose a body type that appeals, they know what they are doing sexually, and the session is understood to be over when the allotted time is up.  In fact, if a two hour session is booked and paid for, the lady would be just as happy if the gent leaves a little early.  The negative part is the pretense of emotions or physical reactions and the higher expense.   Maybe if I established a regular lady a real friendship could develop which would lower the pretense.

Charlie Sheen's quote is "I don't pay them to come, I pay them to leave."  Not much of a difference in meaning, but makes it a little more humorous.