Provider Gifts

Crystal in Boston collects toys for underprivliged children around christmas and offers a "special" for guys bringing these gifts during that period.  I, for one, think it is a very nice tradition...Harry

interesting guy. "you sure she's the right girl, vince" i mean, you're pretty much limited to two mistakes... theo asked him why he sent his ear to the girl, and vince just said "huh? what did you say?"

Hmmmm, never crossed my mind to cut off a body part to give to one of my friends!!  I just find out what they like or collect and buy them that!

Carrie what made you think of this all of a sudden?

Please let's not give anyone ideas. I don't find this amusing. We providers get enough weird emails and phonecalls! I can just see some "devoted" client sending me his bloodied penis.  The thought is disgusting. not to mention sad.  I'd quit the business for sure.

As for what I receive in the mail, I only pick up mail at a separate address which a client would have to have been given by me.  And at that place there are others who work there who would have to sign for the package and store it.  By the time I go to pick up my mail, for certain there would be some strange odor being emitted.  I am certain the item would be separated out as suspicious.  Thank God.

Not to mention, what a waste of a wonderful bodypart!


Signed....
Dontcutoffyourpeepeeforme - I need it the way it is!



-- Modified on 1/7/2004 8:58:10 AM

I haven't thought about you for awhile
It seemed so far away
I keep your picture hidden in a file
Of favorite one act plays

Like pieces of myself
Cut off in desperation
As offerings to thee
I keep them on a shelf
They're good for conversation
Over a cup of tea

-- Savatage, "Conversation Piece"

I used to date a woman I first met as a provider, so I guess this still meets the criteria of your question.

Anyway, she was so infuriated by the landscape guys that continually woke her up using a leaf blower under her window that in her frustration, she started threatening them.  In her sleep-deprived state, she'd lean out the window and shout "If you don't shut that thing off, I'm going to come downstairs and shove it up your ass!"  

Of course, since she didn't speak Spanish, her theats were always met with a confused "Que?"  And they would go about their business making as much noise as possible.  She told me about this so many times that I finally decided on her birthday the perfect gag gift would be to get a leaf blower and attach a giant dildo to the end of it.  I wrapped it up as nice as I could, and when I presented her with her gift she was so thrilled she made me take pictures of her holding this thing in front of her in all sorts of threatening poses.  

We laughed all night about her new secret weapon, and couldn't have had more fun if we tried.  Of course, I took her out to dinner and gave her some regular gifts too, but it was the leaf blower with the giant dildo on the end that captured her heart.

The abridged version of "The Ear Incident":

On the evening of 23 December 1888 Van Gogh and Paul Gauguin had an altercation in which Van Gogh is said to have threatened Gauguin with a knife. Later that evening Van Gogh returned to the "Yellow House" in Arles where he lived and mutilated himself.
Holding the open razor in his right hand, he had sliced through his left ear; starting high at the back and hacking downwards so that all the lower part of the ear had been chopped off. This had left part of the upper ear still attached as a hideous flap of flesh.

Van Gogh, then wrapped the ear in cloth and made his way to a favourite brothel where he presented this "present" to a prostitute. The police were called in and Van Gogh was subsequently hospitalized. The severed tissue of the ear was placed into a jar of alcohol in case it might be needed as evidence. Some months later it was thrown out.

(source: Van Gogh: His Life and Art by David Sweetman)

Here is a link to "The Brothel".  Might the recipient of Van Gogh's gift be in this painting?
http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/p_0478.htm

Here is a link to a self-portrait he completed while OBVIOUSLY still recovering.  http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/p_0529.htm

Here is a link to his most famous painting. (done while in the Saint-Remy asylum A.E.)
http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/p_0612.htm

Below is, I believe, the best look inside the mind of Van Gogh.  I'll withhold my own comments on the painting except to point out one particular item of interest.  Note the resemblence of the prisoner in the foreground to the artist. I hope they allow a direct link to the picture.  If not, click here to see Prisoners Exercising:  http://www.vangoghgallery.com/painting/p_0669.htm