I was on a civilian date recently and had to catch myself not trying to get done within the usual p4p 40 min to an hour time limit.

. While conversing with your date for the first time you give her your Home address, Employer Name and Phone Number and reference every "provider" you've seen.

2. While conversing for the first time you ask her if she has a website or any pictures on the net.

3. 1st date small talk includes "Do you mind if I ring the bell more than once?"

4. While picking her up at home you compliment her on her nice incall location.

5. You mistake your date's dad for your date's "manager."

6. Your date has no idea what the difference is between FS and non-FS or why you keep asking about it.

7. Can't concentrate on the movie due to YMMV concerns.

8. You meet her best friend at the bar and ask for a "2 girl session."

9. Any wild stories told by your date is punctuated by you asking, "How much does that cost?"

10. After your response to her question you realize she wanted to know what you like to do, but not necessarily to her.

11. You mean to say "Your place or mine?" but you actually say "incall or outcall?"

12. She really does speak Greek and she really is a black belt.

13. She really is a model and you really are nude in her living room when she returns with drinks.

14. You're married and tell her as much and wonder why that's a problem.

15. After only a kiss goodnight you warn of a possible bad review.

16. You are overheard muttering "took one for the team" after being ejected from her home for number 13.

17. You post a review of your date.

I'm remembering a civie girl I took out to dinner.

She informed me that, as a matter of principle, she would be ordering the most expensive item on the menu.

At that location, the most expensive thing was lobster.

She was allergic to shellfish; so she ordered it but didn't eat it.

Obviously, she never got a second date with me; but I think posting a review of her would have been entirely appropriate!

This happened to a friend of mine. It was her boyfriend who she had been trying to dump. She comes out of the kitchen with her script all ready and there he is..nude...in the dark...fully erect.

How did she know he was fully erect? He had on a glow in the dark condom.

You left out the most important one:

18. After great "first date sex" you ask her how much it would be for PSE!

... how she came to choose her hobby name.

Or if she offers discounts to regulars.

Probably a mistake to ask a civilian to Whitelist you, too.

18.  You sleep over, get up early, leave an envelope on the dresser and sneak out, figuring you have fulfilled your obligation.

19.  You get off as many times as you can without wondering or worrying if she did.

20. You assume she knows what she is doing in bed. Sadly, you are mistaken.

21.  You have to learn the definition of foreplay.

Good list and very funny...I know there has been one if you know you've been providing too long..or see every guy you meet as a "client".