Nothing wrong with getting involved beyond client/provider but be VERY SURE about what it is that you expect from her and the relationship. I've been down this road and can tell you that you're going to run into a lot of potholes, lane closures and unpaved surfaces. I'm a better man for following my feelings and I don't regret my relationship with her for one second but it was a hard lesson learned.
I saw an out-of-town girl the other day, independent, extremely beautiful both inside & out, very sweet, not reviewed (don't ask - her identity is irrelevant to my question). I'd seen her once before when she was in town and got the subtle impression she liked & connected with me - not fake but genuine. I didn't do anything about it then.
A few days ago I'd scheduled an evening session with her for an hour, donation up front, and it ended up turning into almost 6, and she might have stayed overnight if I'd encouraged the idea. Except for that initial donation, the whole time came across as totally genuine - she stayed because she wanted to and we enjoyed ourselves throughout - to the point where I knew intuitively that she'd have been insulted by even the mention of a tip. As a guy, you just know when a girl is there because she wants to be and not because she's got other motives. She also told me something well into her time with me that she'd had 3 other guys trying to schedule for appointments for the same night but she put all of them off to instead just see me. Not too subtle, but unsure of how I should respond to that.
I was tempted to encourage her to stay overnight but wasn't prepared on my end for the ramifications of taking things even further knowing how things are "supposed to be". Maybe that was a mistake or misjudgment but I haden't thought through the implications enough at that time. She called me the next night, not to set up an appointment but just to talk. I couldn't talk long as I had company over, but I think I caused her to feel self-conscious as I only talked with her a few minutes.
I called her the next day to see how she was doing, maybe to get a better feel for what her interests were. She was preoccupied and decided to change her itinerary and fly out of the city early the next day and hadn't had a chance to make enough appointments, I guess she'd been disappointed with the turnout she had here, and maybe also unsure of her interaction with me. I can't blame her, I don't much like this city anyway LOL and would prefer to live in an area like hers. So no time made to see each other again. Even so, I'd have been unsure of the context of another meeting. As provider-client or something else?
BTW I'm single & unattached currently, same as her, and not been pursuing anything more than casual these days, in case that makes a difference in the comments people have about this. Right now I'm thinking of it as just a nice experience, but if she ever finds herself here again or if I ever end up visiting her area, am unsure as to how to progress if at all...
Remember this no matter what our job is, we are seeking a long term relationship with someone.
Think about how many dates you have been on in a lifetime. How many of those ladies did you feel like this? Not all of them.
People connect when they least think it.
Relax and pursue this if you want.
Good Luck. Shaye
Some day when you are older you will think of this and kick yourself for not finding out first hand. Just think of the possibilities. Even if you wanted her to quit the bizz, after meeting that way you would have no secreet past to worry about and if you ever had a need for variety you would probably had a willing partner for play times . Remember: "The smile on the face of an old man are the memories of the deeds of his youth."
People always say, "don't fall in love with a provider". I think this is unfair. You can only fall for people you meet, and if you're meeting people in the 'hobby' it only stands to reason it's going to happen.
You can either persue it, which you may regret. Or you can let it slip away, which you may regret. Either way, there's regret involved.
In my experience, regret stemming from action will subside in time, while regret stemming from inaction will linger for the rest of your life. Which would you prefer?
The english language is a splendid thing. You shouldn't feel ashamed to ask for what you want. Even if she jas to tell you no its very unlikely that she would be upset or offended that you felt enough for her to ask.
Thank you and you are right. I will send her an e-mail to test the waters a bit. I might be in her area within a couple months, at the very least she's a nice person and may be just looking for someone to connect to who also knows about her lifestyle.
Nothing wrong with getting involved beyond client/provider but be VERY SURE about what it is that you expect from her and the relationship. I've been down this road and can tell you that you're going to run into a lot of potholes, lane closures and unpaved surfaces. I'm a better man for following my feelings and I don't regret my relationship with her for one second but it was a hard lesson learned.
An update for the curious.
I sent her an e-mail, nothing too direct yet, just to make her feel nice for the time she spent here, that sort of thing. I really just expected a mailed reply back but she ended up calling me today and we talked for a while. I told her I'd probably have a trip to her area coming up soon and she seemed happy to hear that. Of course, I'll call her some more before heading down to make sure we're both on the same train of thought, as I don't want a miscommunication or misunderstanding.
Presuming this might turn into something tangible, I'm not the kind of guy who would try to dictate what she does with her life. It's not something I impose on other women in my life, this is no different, really. And, distance is another factor.
One hour turned into 8760 for me. We connected big time. We spent all our time together and she stopped working. Before I knew it, she was expecting me to foot the bill, mortgage, car payments and so on. We were a couple and had tentitive plans to make it permenent. Then it hit me. That sharp pain in my cheek was the HOOK. She was on a vacation..I was the idiot financing it. We began to argue about stupid stuff and I broke it off and she went nuts, telling me that she didn't have any savings and needed to "date" again. I owed it to her to support her until her client base was built up again. Can you say...RUN FORREST RUN!!
I don't feel like I owed her anything...am I an ass for thinking this way?
Looks like you got one of the bad ones. I personally am also looking for a permanent relationship with someone, however when I do quit the biz, I don't expect anyone to foot the bill solely on their own. I do work a regular job and will continue to do so. Any relatiionship should be 50/50 and have lots of communication and honesty. The only way I'd stay home and not work is if it was what we both wanted and we could afford for me to do so.
By the way, NO I don't think you owe her anything. She went into the relationship and quit the biz on her own. When it ended she's again on her own and shouldn't expect you to foot her bills after it's over.
See, thats what I was thinking. She would call me and tell me that she is going to have to do "PRIVATE" shows to make ends meet..."is that what you want"? I never saw this side of her. I kept expecting a boiling rabbit in my kitchen...RE: Fatal attraction.