I certainly know that most guys will agree that we could never say enough about the ladies that we meet in the hobby.  Simply amazing women who quite literally make us feel good at being alive.  They give us pleasure, they give us comfort, they make us laugh, they make us think and they represent the best in terms of companionship.  I know that many of my Central FL friends have made me feel this way and I'm sure I'm far from alone in that thought. Thank you ladies.  You are awesome!

So with that thought, my crazy mind from time to time wonders... what a freaking gig!  I mean would it not be great if I could have their job?  Of course harsh reality soon shakes me to my senses and I realize that I would be horrible doing such a job.  Thus my Top Ten reasons why I would be the absolute worst male provider on the planet:  

1.  My 10-minute rate wouldn't go over real well.  Even though it does include 'get to know you time' and 'after-cuddling'!  
2.  My 'pulse + purse + pussy = you're in' screening policy has a lot to be desired.
3.  Multiple pops are allowed and in fact encouraged.  As long as you don't mind me having a cold beer and catching up to scores in-between rounds.  Oh, you mean you?  Just bring plenty of batteries.
4.  Will I bring one of my male firends?  WTF! I'm not gay bitch so don't even think about it.  
5.  When a female provider is matched with a not-so-good-looking dude, somehow her private parts still function and get the job done.  Reverse the deal and it just isn't gonna happen.
6.  I'll probably screw up the biz end of this.  If you're hot then I'll lower my rates without you asking.
7.  If you are really hot then I'll pay you.
8.  You want to post a review and talk about my size, my looks and my performance.  FU bitch!
9.  Of course I don't need directions and I'm not asking for them either.  Just don't get pissed when I'm late.
10.  Yes I offer a BFE.  Rest assured that sooner or later I'll call you someone else's name before the session is over.

Ladies, i repeat...you are awesome.  Honestly do not know how you do it so well.  Thanks...

I'll starve to death by cutting my rates down to three pops for $5.


That list is priceles.  ;o)

Hilarious!!!! I feel certain that #'s 5 & 6 would do me in rather quickly! LOL!!!!

I'd probably cry the first time I got a 'Barely Worth the Effort'.  The second time I would just change my name, hair color and phone number!

-- Modified on 7/21/2006 7:36:50 PM

You have to understand, the hotties never have to pay for it. The only clients you would have are the older women who just can't accept they're not as desireable as they used to be - or those with "special needs".

Women use sex to get something they want. Men use something she'll want to get sex. That's just the way it works. Expecting anything different would be like asking an egg to lay a chicken.

A sense of humor makes everything better!

Thanks for sharing a smile on this Saturday morning!

Hugs*
Desi

cause often times I have done that and it was fun as hell.

Does not make good numbers though.

OMG I'm dying laughing at #3 and #4! Priceless!

Good list.

Yes. Yes indeed you would have it made as a BFE:
1. No loofahing, exfoliating, plucking, and waxing.
2. No deciding if it's a black eyeliner night or a sweet look almost-no-makeup night
3. boxers or briefs?
4. No pms pimples to fret over
5. no worrying about slipping your real name because all you guys seem to be named bob or bill
6. Other men would think that you are a god
7. if you got a bad review, you could get away with blaming it on hormonal female antics (ARG!)
8. and finally, your well earned money would go towards that plasma tv, your own guest house (that you live in), and seven cars that you have no idea what do with.

Testostone poisoning.....

Love you!

...a "hot as hell" review since you are a smokin' guy!!!!!!

And I always say..than goodness I am not a man!! You find a 48 yr old Gentleman that is having as much fun as I am!! Well 48 when I started this journey, two years ago!!

Where in the world is Sexy Carl??!!

Thanks for the smile!!

Sexy Carolina

-- Modified on 7/22/2006 5:47:32 PM