Shout-out to the ladies and some self soul searching...

I certainly know that most guys will agree that we could never say enough about the ladies that we meet in the hobby.  Simply amazing women who quite literally make us feel good at being alive.  They give us pleasure, they give us comfort, they make us laugh, they make us think and they represent the best in terms of companionship.  I know that many of my Central FL friends have made me feel this way and I'm sure I'm far from alone in that thought. Thank you ladies.  You are awesome!

So with that thought, my crazy mind from time to time wonders... what a freaking gig!  I mean would it not be great if I could have their job?  Of course harsh reality soon shakes me to my senses and I realize that I would be horrible doing such a job.  Thus my Top Ten reasons why I would be the absolute worst male provider on the planet:  

1.  My 10-minute rate wouldn't go over real well.  Even though it does include 'get to know you time' and 'after-cuddling'!  
2.  My 'pulse + purse + pussy = you're in' screening policy has a lot to be desired.
3.  Multiple pops are allowed and in fact encouraged.  As long as you don't mind me having a cold beer and catching up to scores in-between rounds.  Oh, you mean you?  Just bring plenty of batteries.
4.  Will I bring one of my male firends?  WTF! I'm not gay bitch so don't even think about it.  
5.  When a female provider is matched with a not-so-good-looking dude, somehow her private parts still function and get the job done.  Reverse the deal and it just isn't gonna happen.
6.  I'll probably screw up the biz end of this.  If you're hot then I'll lower my rates without you asking.
7.  If you are really hot then I'll pay you.
8.  You want to post a review and talk about my size, my looks and my performance.  FU bitch!
9.  Of course I don't need directions and I'm not asking for them either.  Just don't get pissed when I'm late.
10.  Yes I offer a BFE.  Rest assured that sooner or later I'll call you someone else's name before the session is over.

Ladies, i repeat...you are awesome.  Honestly do not know how you do it so well.  Thanks...