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Dr Who revived 700 reads
posted

I might split up the 65k of whore mongering between advertising and rent.  This assuming that my total revenues are large enough to not highlight a ratio between these expenses.  Otherwise we might want to capitalize the whore mongering expenses of 65k and take Section 179 to accomplish the same using depreciation.  Pussy is a depreciable asset....yea, sure it is.  The hookers wear out over a stated time and we could use MACRS for any additional depreciation.

Groceries are also office expenses.  This is where you put your mints, mouthwash, condoms, toys, and other necessary whore mongering supplies.

Maybe consider starting a Charitable Trust if we're going to go in excess of 100k.  Worked well for Chris Zorich...for a while anyhow  LOL

And if that doesn't work, just know that Rod Blagojevich is a team leader now..and will gladly show you how to enjoy your prison stay.  They even have cable and watch Oprah everyday.
Posted By: maxwell44
So let me get this all straight:  
   
 Cigars = office expenses  
   
 Whore Mongering = Rent.  And most likely not attaching an explanation to your tax form to explain exactly what it is that you are renting.  
   
 $65,000 in Whore Mongering = You had damn well put it on schedule C or something, because the IRS will tell you that you are going to have blue balls and like it if you put this amount in schedule A.  Then to compound that problem, they will make sure you will have a sore ass too for the next 6 years.  
   
 Is this the basic gist of it?

maxwell441981 reads

Since I am always on top of things, I am finally working on my income taxes this weekend, and I noticed that the tax software says I can take a deduction for Hobby Expenses.   What is this, a holdover from the Bill Clinton era?    What do you think, should I tell them what I spend on my hobby?  haha.

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bluepillman694 reads

And the perp walk? And the jail term? CPA told me it's a "kindler, gentler" IRS so give it a shot. Yeah, this sounds like a great idea.
:D

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maxwell44798 reads

I heard that in those audits, they are now so gentile that they actually sweet talk you before they give you a colonoscopy.  That is kinder and gentler than they used to be for sure.

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BigPapasan739 reads

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Dr Who revived728 reads

I actually had a Jewish auditor that worked for the State of Illinois a while back.  Thought it was a tad bizarre as most state auditors have virtually NO tax backgrounds.

This fella had his fill of public accounting and wanted a no-thinking job.

He found it  :D

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maxwell44770 reads

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michael_z971926 reads

This is if you have income from a hobby (not THAT hobby) like you occasionally sell some paintings you made, but it is not a real business. You can deduct expenses, but not take a loss.

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Dr Who revived653 reads

Hobby expenses are indeed deductible and YOU can have losses in 2 out of every 5 years.

As far as expensing this whoring game we play...use your imagination  :D

Posted By: michael_z971
This is if you have income from a hobby (not THAT hobby) like you occasionally sell some paintings you made, but it is not a real business. You can deduct expenses, but not take a loss.

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bluepillman647 reads

So you're telling me I have two more days to amend my return? Can I do so retroactively to 2001? Might not be a Space Odyssey...more like a "BluePill, you're bunkin' with Nunzio" Odyssey in cell B14.  

I'll finally get that prostate exam with a "flesh" light I've been looking to avoid. lol. I am sure with your expertise, I'll get a big, fat refund from IRS. lol. Still have time for one more return? What's your fax number?  
:D

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Dr Who revived709 reads

But I'll bet you aren't showing that schedule C as a hobby...are you?

Nope...you really want to make a profit..but can't help how expensive some of those R & D items can be  :D

Hey...maybe try less expensive R & D.  Still time to show a nice profit and pay those fucking taxes so that the government entitlement programs that many hookers use stay afloat.  Be a Patriot.  Nah....fuck that and be a Chicago Bear!!

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maxwell44639 reads

You mean something like: "Hello Mr. Nice IRS Man, I am deducting 20,000 in whoring expenses this year because I am conducting very extensive and thorough research on all kinds of whores, and I intend to use this information in order to write my upcoming novel about whoring."
 

Posted By: ChgoCPA
Hobby expenses are indeed deductible and YOU can have losses in 2 out of every 5 years.  
   
 As far as expensing this whoring game we play...use your imagination  :D  
   
Posted By: michael_z971
This is if you have income from a hobby (not THAT hobby) like you occasionally sell some paintings you made, but it is not a real business. You can deduct expenses, but not take a loss.

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Dr Who revived732 reads

Rarely examined for accuracy...or so I hear  LOL

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maxwell44626 reads

Yea but for rental expenses, I would need a W9 from the whores and I would have to issue them a 1099, what a nuisance!  

So I prefer prefer categorizing all my outcall activities as "temporary lodging".  Of course the meals and entertainment that are provided by those temporary lodging establishments are just de-minimis fringe benefits... just look at the ads after all, they always clearly state that I are paying for time only!

(I really have been reading too many IRS publications over the years, now that I am using words like de-minimis on this board)

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Dr Who revived751 reads

I know..."And don't call me Shirley"  :D

1099's aren't issued for amounts under $ 600.  Figure it out  LOL

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maxwell44772 reads

Hey, you are absolutely right.   D'Oh!  

And damn those hundred hookers that I saw yesterday that each charged me $500.  
What is this world coming to?

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Dr Who revived847 reads

Just get creative...yet maintaining that edge of believability.

When you've got serious high rollers writing off luxury items like they're going out of style...well, it helps to understand the rules of the game.  Last I checked Section 179 is alive and doing quite well.

If you don't know the rules...you can't play the game  LOL

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macdaddy1944772 reads

i always deduct my whoring expenses as a "business lunch"..they do taste pretty good at noon..midnight..not so much..

Posted By: ChgoCPA
Hobby expenses are indeed deductible and YOU can have losses in 2 out of every 5 years.  
   
 As far as expensing this whoring game we play...use your imagination  :D  
   
Posted By: michael_z971
This is if you have income from a hobby (not THAT hobby) like you occasionally sell some paintings you made, but it is not a real business. You can deduct expenses, but not take a loss.

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Dr Who revived675 reads

Those lunches are limited to 50% deductions.

Seems like parking expenses are a better option as those are added to the other items deductible towards auto.  Hence, 100% deductible.

And another rarely examined item...or so I hear again  :D

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BigPapasan878 reads

"A tax lawyer spent more than $65,000 in a year on prostitutes and pornographic materials. He deducted the total as a medical expense, making a novel argument that cited the positive health effects of sex therapy. However, the Tax Court red-lighted his write-off, saying that his conduct not only was illegal, but also wasn’t for the treatment of a medical condition."

Related Link: Kiplinger article

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Dr Who revived686 reads

Too bad he didn't come to me to work his numbers up.  Why the fuck highlight it on Schedule A.  

Seriously that is not as bizarre as some of the crap I've seen taxpayers try and claim.    

I'll bet he doesn't screen the hookers either  :)
 

Posted By: BigPapasan
"A tax lawyer spent more than $65,000 in a year on prostitutes and pornographic materials. He deducted the total as a medical expense, making a novel argument that cited the positive health effects of sex therapy. However, the Tax Court red-lighted his write-off, saying that his conduct not only was illegal, but also wasn’t for the treatment of a medical condition."

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maxwell44741 reads

That guy used the wrong arguments.  I would have said that I suffer from ED, and I can only get temporary relief from this horrible condition by whore mongering.

Then I would do all my whoring in countries where it is legal, and get a VAT tax receipt too like how they do it in Switzerland, that way I can take a credit for foreign taxes paid to top it off.  That is the proper way to stick it to the man!

Not that I am a CPA or anything, so don't listen to me when it comes to real tax advice.

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Dr Who revived705 reads

And I do believe he use your exact argument the first time he was indicted for tax fraud.  After he served his 6 years and got his license back he decided to use this other method figuring..."what could possibly go wrong"  :D

Stick to the rents...or advertising.  Rarely examined...or so I hear!

Posted By: maxwell44
That guy used the wrong arguments.  I would have said that I suffer from ED, and I can only get temporary relief from this horrible condition by whore mongering.  
   
 Then I would do all my whoring in countries where it is legal, and get a VAT tax receipt too like how they do it in Switzerland, that way I can take a credit for foreign taxes paid to top it off.  That is the proper way to stick it to the man!  
   
 Not that I am a CPA or anything, so don't listen to me when it comes to real tax advice.

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bluepillman993 reads

Ond day serious medical conditions will be recognized. People may laugh but "Blue Ball Syndrome" is a SERIOUS medical condition. Working gals are doing their best to combat this dreaded problem, and I thank you all.

But, if we as a country are REALLY going to take this seriously, it should be covered under Obamacare, and any thing it doesn't cover, should be tax deductible.  

One day...

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maxwell44565 reads

I recall that blue ball syndrome was covered under Bill Clinton's proposed healthcare plan that wasn't passed back in the day.  Cigar expenses and dry cleaning expenses were also deductible as a valid healthcare expense under that failed healthcare plan.

Posted By: bluepillman
Ond day serious medical conditions will be recognized. People may laugh but "Blue Ball Syndrome" is a SERIOUS medical condition. Working gals are doing their best to combat this dreaded problem, and I thank you all.  
   
 But, if we as a country are REALLY going to take this seriously, it should be covered under Obamacare, and any thing it doesn't cover, should be tax deductible.  
   
 One day...

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Dr Who revived830 reads

Office expense.

As well as other smoking related products.

Heck, some taxpayers believe that entire provision in the Code extends to all grocery items.

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maxwell44579 reads

So let me get this all straight:

Cigars = office expenses

Whore Mongering = Rent.  And most likely not attaching an explanation to your tax form to explain exactly what it is that you are renting.

$65,000 in Whore Mongering = You had damn well put it on schedule C or something, because the IRS will tell you that you are going to have blue balls and like it if you put this amount in schedule A.  Then to compound that problem, they will make sure you will have a sore ass too for the next 6 years.

Is this the basic gist of it?

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Dr Who revived701 reads

I might split up the 65k of whore mongering between advertising and rent.  This assuming that my total revenues are large enough to not highlight a ratio between these expenses.  Otherwise we might want to capitalize the whore mongering expenses of 65k and take Section 179 to accomplish the same using depreciation.  Pussy is a depreciable asset....yea, sure it is.  The hookers wear out over a stated time and we could use MACRS for any additional depreciation.

Groceries are also office expenses.  This is where you put your mints, mouthwash, condoms, toys, and other necessary whore mongering supplies.

Maybe consider starting a Charitable Trust if we're going to go in excess of 100k.  Worked well for Chris Zorich...for a while anyhow  LOL

And if that doesn't work, just know that Rod Blagojevich is a team leader now..and will gladly show you how to enjoy your prison stay.  They even have cable and watch Oprah everyday.

Posted By: maxwell44
So let me get this all straight:  
   
 Cigars = office expenses  
   
 Whore Mongering = Rent.  And most likely not attaching an explanation to your tax form to explain exactly what it is that you are renting.  
   
 $65,000 in Whore Mongering = You had damn well put it on schedule C or something, because the IRS will tell you that you are going to have blue balls and like it if you put this amount in schedule A.  Then to compound that problem, they will make sure you will have a sore ass too for the next 6 years.  
   
 Is this the basic gist of it?

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maxwell44700 reads

Interesting stuff indeed.  Pussy can indeed be capitalized and depreciated.  That way your balance sheet will have a line item that says "Pussy" under the assets column.  I always wanted to have a company with a balance sheet that said that.  

What would you recommend for the depreciation period of pussy anyway?  Some people might say it is like a rental property and go for the 27.5 years.  

My personal opinion is that it is more like office equipment before it gets obsolete and you want to buy a new one, which is to say maybe 7 years.  Kind of like the depreciation period of my ex-wife.

Radical Islamic terrorists might use a depreciation schedule of eternity for their 72 virgins, but I think that after a couple of Milena, those virgins' pussies must get badly worn, in which case they are most likely not using the correct depreciation schedule at all on their form 4562.

Perhaps the IRS should issue a ruling on this matter!

Posted By: ChgoCPA
I might split up the 65k of whore mongering between advertising and rent.  This assuming that my total revenues are large enough to not highlight a ratio between these expenses.  Otherwise we might want to capitalize the whore mongering expenses of 65k and take Section 179 to accomplish the same using depreciation.  Pussy is a depreciable asset....yea, sure it is.  The hookers wear out over a stated time and we could use MACRS for any additional depreciation.  
   
 Groceries are also office expenses.  This is where you put your mints, mouthwash, condoms, toys, and other necessary whore mongering supplies.  
   
 Maybe consider starting a Charitable Trust if we're going to go in excess of 100k.  Worked well for Chris Zorich...for a while anyhow  LOL  
   
 And if that doesn't work, just know that Rod Blagojevich is a team leader now..and will gladly show you how to enjoy your prison stay.  They even have cable and watch Oprah everyday.  
   
Posted By: maxwell44
So let me get this all straight:  
     
  Cigars = office expenses  
     
  Whore Mongering = Rent.  And most likely not attaching an explanation to your tax form to explain exactly what it is that you are renting.  
     
  $65,000 in Whore Mongering = You had damn well put it on schedule C or something, because the IRS will tell you that you are going to have blue balls and like it if you put this amount in schedule A.  Then to compound that problem, they will make sure you will have a sore ass too for the next 6 years.  
     
  Is this the basic gist of it?

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AlexandraMilw713 reads

... he can't help himself lol :D :D :D

Oh wait, he didn't spend it on me... damn fucker!!!

:D

Posted By: BigPapasan
"A tax lawyer spent more than $65,000 in a year on prostitutes and pornographic materials. He deducted the total as a medical expense, making a novel argument that cited the positive health effects of sex therapy. However, the Tax Court red-lighted his write-off, saying that his conduct not only was illegal, but also wasn’t for the treatment of a medical condition."

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JewelKat915 reads

This is funny, although I am sure if you had reciepts for every provider you saw you could claim this..

xoxo
Kat

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rrasha88624 reads

Should you capitalize or depreciate a boob job?

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Dr Who revived765 reads

And with some they may qualify as National Treasures.

Others...unfortunately get declared disaster areas  ;)

Posted By: rrasha88
Should you capitalize or depreciate a boob job?

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mrfisher625 reads

After all, they raise hundreds of cocks each year, don't they?

(still not a CPA - and with good reason too.)

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Dr Who revived694 reads

And she's a hottie too  :

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