Ever been on blind dates where you don't have any physical attraction to the other party?  I find it hard to just say the obvious and leave after 3-4 minutes.  In fact, I go through and try to be cordial, meanwhile, I can't keep my mind from wandering and thinking about other things.

The other party most likely thought things went well, and is probably surprised when they don't hear a call back.

DO you think it's better to just say "goodbye" (and the reason why) after 3-4 minutes instead?

I've never said the 3-4 minute goodbye myself, but I have had both the "wandering mind" date and the "3-4" minute date (done to me).

If you asked her out, and she took the time to get ready and missed out on other social opportunities, it's up to you to be a gentleman.  Show her a nice time, even if it will be the last time.  Be kind and gracious.  No need to call her again.....

Must be gracious -- which is what I do 90% of the time meeting new men I never want to see again..... am always gentle and make sure they feel confident and self-assured.

Kindness and gentleness are indispensable.....

If I were on a date and I could tell his mind was wandering..it would seem a little uncomfortable...I doubt this would happen, because I think I am attractive and also fun to be with..As SexyC I have lots of dinner dates and find it a fun way to relax and flirt and get to know oneanother....Now personally I don't date much..not from not wanting to..I find it a little hard to meet eligible men....so I really don't date!! I wouldn't end a date in 3-4 mins..I would make the best of it..nowadays with the internet..you pretty much will know what your date looks like and hopefully will have had a few conversations in advance so that this situation might not happen

Kisses
SexyC

-- Modified on 12/27/2005 11:04:21 PM

If the conversation is good, even if I'm not attracted to the person I'll stay and (hopefully) enjoy the evening - what's the worst that could happen, I might end up with a platonic friend? However, if I can't bear anything about them...I try to cut things short, have to go after the meal, etc. I can't imagine a situation ever being so bad to just get up and walk after 3-4 minutes, short of a girl sitting down with a new swatztika tattoo on her forehead ala Charles Manson, etc.

Sometimes you might not be physically attracted but there is something else about the person that you did not know until you "probe" deeper (and I am not talking about sex!).

I have learned many things from people who I was not physically attracted to.  In fact my attitude is that if I do not learn something new every day, I have failed that day.

But the bottom line:  be cordial, and be honest.

Have been on "escorted" events and have had that happen!  but I digress....  go through with the date - as some have said - you never know what will happen!  I always look at it this way, you may make a friend....  or at least that should be the goal - not scoring ...... or a lifelong soulmate... sheese - its only coffee - (actually when making a blind date - I keep them simple and limited in time (grab a coffee or a quick lunch etc)! and that has worked well)

people sometimes grow on ya!

to being a polite person in general. Go through with the date, but about half-way through it -- or toward the end depending on the circumstances -- you can casually mention that you feel like you're not kindred spirits but you find her/him interesting. You never know, a possible friendship could develop. I guess that depends on how well you are getting along during the date, even if you're not attracted to that person. Personally, I don't like blind dates, but I have met some nice people on a few of those dates that I've met for coffee, discussed universal problems and learned some new jokes. Look at the date as a positive learning experience. Nothing is a waste of time if you can find common ground with someone.

Hugs,
Ciara

Ciara,

Just wanted to say I really appreciate the posts that appear from you on this and other boards.  Being a somewhat jaded person, I still find your posts to indicate that you're somewhat I'd like to meet (except you're not local LOL!!!)... even if you were only half as nice as you appear in your posts.

Like I originally wrote, I've never gotten up and left after 3-4 minutes, but have had that happen to me (well, it was after 10 minutes LOL!!!)... THe second that that happened, I was actually glad (thrilled).. guess it was mutual!! LOL.

I think it depends on the person you're with, don't you agree? Sometimes, if you both feel edgy and uncomfortable, it's probably best to end the date immediately.

Hugs,
Ciara (P.S. Thanks for the compliment)

I met one of my best "platonic" friends that way and we hangout frequently.  Neither of us are attracted to the other, but we like each other very much.

-Hoot.