Over the past couple of weeks there have been two providers I was excited about seeing. When I contacted them they insisted on me giving them my full name. This was in addition to references. I was not given another screening option. Is this becoming the new norm?
I politely declined, but I’m curious, how many of providers ask for it? How many hobbyists would actually give their names?
This seems to be a big piece of info to give out to someone I haven’t met. I might be willing to entertain it if the woman gave me her real name, but fat chance of that happening.
What do you guys think? It’s a shame because I’ve been trying to make these women work with my schedule for a while. And I’d really like to see them.
This might be THE most talked about topic on all of TER.
Eh. I don’t really read the forums.
and you can also take a quick look at any member's previous posts by clicking on "see my posts"
Take a wild guess what I found after a very quick check of YOUR previous posts?
I don’t read the comments a lot here. And the info I was writing about earlier didn’t include my real name. I haven’t had anyone ask for it before 3 weeks ago.
And, when I do a search of YOUR name, I see you prattling on about the same things over and over, so would it kill you to indulge a repeat thread?
So ok, I will indulge you.
No, asking for real life information is hardly a new trend, it's been around for years. If you listen to the hookers, almost hookers ask for it and it's nothing to worry about. If you ask the Johns, almost none of them do and only a fool would do so. As with most issues like this, the truth is somewhere in between.
My advice to most guys is, if your life could be ruined by some vindictive, BSC hooker on a rampage who decides to out you for some perceived transgression, then NO, do not give out your real life info. A piece of ass is not worth ruining your life over.
My advice if I were asked the same question by any of the ladies is to get what ever info you need to feel safe, if that includes real life info, so be it. Your safety is more important than a few hundred bucks
Are you starting to see the quandry here? There are two conflicting schools of thought here. My body, my rules on the the one side. My money, my rules on the other side. Here is the best advice I can think of, either join a screening service like P 411 and see only the providers who won't ask for additional screening info, which is the overwhelming majority of them, or just see the women that will accept references only and who don't need "real world" info, but be prepared to have many of them refuse to see you, just like the ones you are running into now.
As for myself, I chose the former, I book virtually all my sessions through P 411, but I have dozens of okays, and I am rarely asked for any additional info. I don't really have an issue with providing my real name, I am already "out" and anyone with 30 seconds to spare can find out my real name anyhow, but this isn't about me, this is about you guys with something to lose and my advice is to ONLY give out what information won't destroy your life in the wrong hands, even the "well reviewed" providers go off the rails sometimes, is a bit of tail worth ruining your life over?
I too follow the second option - I do provide my real name to ladies. I value my privacy and my life outside the hobby. If my verification on P411 and reviews on TER does not suffice, as much as I want to meet a lady, I pass, too m on lady.
It depends on who the provider is. If she has a descent reputation and seems trust worthy, I would give her my full name. But I feel more comfortable giving my full name to known provider because it is better than spend a picture of your face or scanning photo ID.
No one gets my real name. You can have my P411 info with more than a dozen OKs and check with any of them. I'll also give you two of my most recent references. If that's enough, then bye and on to the next one.
If P411 isn't enough........... well, I've never come across a situation where P411 was not good enough.
... who shared their real-life identities with me. And I knew that if it got out about their providing career, it would be big trouble for them. In other words, the M.A.D. strategy.
given my real name - won’t do it. Several times I got into a email debate - for-fun- with a Provider who insisted on knowing my name. Once, I said, “what’s your real name....”. Crickets of course.
Fortunately, there are many other options for me to choose from🙂
and have never had trouble with any of the 50 or so gals I've met this way.
I always see well reviewed . It makes me feel safe to see gals that play safe and care for their safety.
There's one type of provider that never cares to ask. They are LE.
I give my name if asked. Of course I'm not a public figure or a big executive or even a notable member of the community.
Larsen E. Whipsnade.
Or, alternatively, Carl LaFong.
My real name might be Fa Que ...
There's one type of provider that never cares to ask. They are LE.
..to anyone I don't know. No one is that irresistible. If that were a problem for a provider I would move on.
I have no problem with giving a provider my real name. I'm not married so there's nothing for me to worry about. In fact the current provider I'm seeing fessed up and told me her real name. Not really sure why she did this. I didn't even ask her for her real name. She even showed me her Driver's License. to prove her real name. I assumed her working name was her real name.
With good providers, this is part of the screening process. Working with them will facilitate the response you want. It isn't rocket science.
I'd rather use an alternate screening method, partially cause I'm lazy, but if a reputable provider wants my real name, and I really want to see her, I'll give it. I use email and not a screening form, though. I don't trust the pat that screening forms travel. (Another long-worn thread.)
The stuff about wanting her real name is BS, since she has a lot more to lose. Yeah, P411 is easier and more discreet for me, but if I want to play with someone, I gotta play by her rules.
She may have legitimate reasons for not using P411. With a real name, she can screen and see if you are who you say you are. Once again, if she's got a good track record, that greatly reduces the odds that she's BSC and out to cause you grief. I think that all of the well-reviewed providers have much better things to do with their time.
I ask so that I can make sure you’re not a cop period. Not to ruin your life. We aren’t these BSC bitter women you make us out to be. We just want to feel safe. Just like you all want someone well reviewed to feel safe also.
.... than someone who simply wants to arrest me. Now, I'm not saying that some LEOs do NOT engage in predatory behavior (because of course there are always bad apples) and being arrested can certainly be traumatizing. But if I had a choice, I'd rather be arrested than assaulted, stalked, etc. 
Requiring real names and checking their ID upon arrival has helped me to avoid such unsavory individuals. Just last week a registered sex offender tried to see me!
This person had references who said that he was okay and would see him again, but I never ever take chances with someone who has a history violence, as he did.
I always give out my real name to providers. It isn't much of a risk, because my first name/last name combination is very common.
Screening is the important illegal business. Somehow got to come up with something showing safe person. I had three hookers and client get my real name threat me and wanted to expose my children.
There are many factors that play into screening. I tend to want to see Link or/and references, you'll be shocked that a lot of people don't have references. In cases like that I will need your ID and Link. It's only for safety from LE and predators. Providers are marginalized group of people so our safety is put in more danger than the average person. I mean historically speaking. Discretion is necessary for you to feel comfortable and safe but there are a lot of people that take advantage of discretion to assault, rob, and violate providers. So yes I understand deep screening don't work for everybody, but its done for serious reasons.
Can't believe how many gents on here are unwilling to share their names.
Once upon a time, a a gent provided me with references, but they weren't well established, so I asked for his ID as well... He complied, and when I searched him on a blacklist site I found out he was a very dangerous person. I wouldn't have dodged that bullet if I hadn't asked for his ID. Hopefully that helps you understand why girls ask, sometimes even in addition to references.
I fully understand your point, and its up to you to establish your comfort level.
On the flip side, a guys life can get ruined pretty fast. In this environment of hunt down white guys for sexual harassment and other things, its a bad idea to have your name floating out there.
Google "Little black book frederick maryland". Why guys should never give out their real name. The saving grace for mongers in this situation was that there at least five names in the book with "Bill Clinton" or other fake names, so the police didn't see the point in hunting down names in the book. Even if one were real, they couldn't prove somebody else didn't use their name.
All of my clients that see me get a "suggestion" of what might be my name based on my PayPal deposits. If you don't deposit through paypal and use venmo or bitcoin then of course you wont get it; however, im not too afraid of telling anybody my name if they deserve it. My pseudonym is less for my safety and more for my sanity. I dont quite like my name. And many people either call me "White Girl" "Brittney" or "Star/ Star Girl" because i mever preferred my given name in any stance. Even as a child, everyone called me Rain, because it seemed to be the only thing i enjoyed in life.