Nobody is calling anybody fat here. None of my posts have referred to confronting an individual, pointing a finger and pronouncing "You're fat! J'Accuse!"
All references have been to descriptions from one hobbyist to another. In that milieu I believe it is a fair descriptive.
I know, anyone who is interested in seeing a provider is a fool if he doesn't do his due diligence, visit her website and look at her posted pictures. However:
How often does a review state that they are not actual pictures or that the pictures are old? How often do you find 'glamour shots' that are calculated to hide the true nature of her body? How often are pictures carefully posed and clothing artfully draped to give the impression of a thinner person?
Let's face it. This hobby is about a commodity that women posess and that we, as men, desire. We prefer, for whatever reason, to posess for a short time a dream that lives within us. It is therefore paramount that what is offered is truthful and accurate to ensure the right match to gaurantee the happiness and satisfaction of both parties.
Truth in advertising - what's wrong with that?
I'll bow out now - this has been an enjoyable exchange, for the most part without rancor (barring the occasional threat of violence and name-calling) that I hope ultimately promotes understanding, not division. God bless all the ladies, fat or thin, short or tall, FS or massage, GFE, PSE or just plain GND. There's something for everyone, and ain't that grand?
I am a frequent poster on the Boston board. Generally, I am all about peace and harmony, and trying to get along with others, regardless of their their thoughts or attitudes. But, I read a post that just disturbed me, so I had to post to it.
The post that I had responded to, was about someone seeking greek, and I had listed a girl to see. Now, another poster listed after mine, and suggested that this gentleman go and see these girls (whom I hear are very nice girls), but it was how he had said: " None of them are fat either"., that got my boiled my butt, for a moment. For one thing, no where in the original posting, did the gentlmen mention anything about race, creed, size, etc. Because it did upset me a bit, this is what I had posted in response to the gentleman's response: " excuse us for us fat ladies. But, the correct language should be BBW's, thank you, Mel ." Now, just looking back, was I wrong in trying to be politically correct? For those who know me, I am the least person to start a flame war. I would like to have your input on this everyone.
I think you should stick with your original statement:
"I am all about peace and harmony, and trying to get along with others, regardless of their their thoughts or attitudes."
It's up to you how you treat others, and how you conduct yourself, and be the best person you choose to be. This person chooses to conduct himself and treat people otherwise, and that's a bad mark against them, not you. You'll never be able to control the attitudes and conduct of other people, and it's pointless to try. Just be the best person you can be, and leave the jerks to their own devices.
As a wise man told me, "Limit the amount of negativity you allow other people to impose upon your life, and you will be a happier person."
Our country has gotten to the point where two thirds of the adult population is fat and one third is obese. This has become our countries number one health risk. Not only is it unattractive it is unhealthy and all our health costs go up because of those that can not stop eating. You can say that people are picking on the overweight and that it is unfair. Well I say it is time for a little self control. Just don't shove all that stuff into your mouth.
Etienne, I read somewhere, that there is at least one over weight person in every family (now, that could mean a distant aunt, cousin, etc.). Is it okay, for someone to call someone in your family names, because of the weight issue? Seriously, think about it, before you respond back. I am talking about respect. You should know that word. The word that your parents taught you, when you are dealing with other people in the world regardless of race, creed, color, etc. Now, reading your post, it tells me through out your lifetime, you had no respect for other's..I mean, that is the impression that you are giving us on this board. I do pray that is not the truth, for I personally feel, that if someone was picking on a friend of yours, or a member of your family for any type of illness, diease, whatever, you would be do the right thing and speak up to those, who put other's down.
Mel.
ps.
I love my voluptuousness about me I love good food tooo..
Just curious...Who elected you, the FAT POLICE...?? The self rightious always amuse me....Just like the Morality Police, Condom Police and the any of the other self appointed, that claim they know how the rest of the world should live their lives. Body size is as varied as eye and hair color and has much to do with genetics...Not just the menu...!! Since you've set your self apart as the epitome(sp) of health and opened up your sexual preferences to the rest of us...don't be surprised if you hear from those BBBJTC objectionists, that just like you, feel they need to control everybody else's choices.!!! A Bigot is a closed minded individual, no matter the subject.But, as has been stated already...few will change this mentality, a true lesson in futility....makes me very sad.
I am not the fat police. People can be fat if they want. I mean no disrespect. I am just saying that being fat is not a natural state for our bodies to be in and it will kill those who are not carefull to keep their weight under control. It is up to you if you want to die early
Being overweight has less to do with eating or overeating than you think. In fact, there are more factors that contribute to being overweight than someone's eating habits. If you did a research on 'obesity', you'd learn that most of the really overweight people actually eat very little. When I used to body build, I ate between 5 and 7 times a day - they weren't 4 course meals, of course.. Medication, lack of exercise, the TYPES of food, health problems..the list goes on. Did you also know that thyroid problems, particularly in women, are at practically 'epidemic' proportions - it's such an all-time high? So, before you condemn people for who they are, before you assume what their habits and choices are, FIRST, live and let live, and SECONDLY, do your homework.
They were big babies and children.And now they are big adults.It has nothing to do with self control.And it has NOTHING TO DO WITH SHOVEING FOOD IN THEIR MOUTHS!They are just big people.Always was and always will be.
You were probably wrong to waste your time trying to educate a moron. I am not politically correct in the least, and don't like the genre, but I do belive in at least trying to be decent to people or at the very least not trying to purposely offend or hurt people who are doing no wrong.
Some people get off on being rude. It is an indication of the rest of their character also.
Very well put, John. As a BBW, I know that I'm not everyones "Cup O'Tea", but for every two that I'm not, there are five that I am....So this guy that has a problem with larger women, needs to understand that not everyone agrees with him. It's never wrong to remind some one to be kind and you were right in pointing that out to this jackass. I believe many of the Hobbyist that are sarcastic and hurtful, do so, thinking they are being witty and cute, when in actuality they are just showing how shallow and small minded they really are. I have three reviewers that I PM, after their posts, simply to let them know that being honest is one thing, but using a review for your "15min of Fame" at the expense of a Provider, who clearly did their 110% to please, with feeble attempts at humor, are clearly low blows. You were right to point that out, although, clearly, as in my case, it probably fell on deaf ears. Within two months, two of these "Comedians", posted equally, damaging reviews about another excellent BBW...So these superficial guys, continue to frequent Full-figure women, IMO, just so they can be cruel and feel superior to those they deem to be less attractive. Doesn't make much sense, but true Predjudice(sp) rarely does....You Go Girl..!!!!
I agree that you are not going to change the attitudes of these morons. But sometimes letting off alittle emotional steam at rude behavior is theraputic. If it made you feel better then I say it was the right thing to do.. Just always try to act rationally and ask yourself why you are posting, and if you think that the consequences outweigh the benefits. That is normally a good guiding principal..
It's not about changing a moron's attitudes. It's about serving notice to said moron that he can't get away with certain BEHAVIORS in this venue, no matter what his attitude.
It can also be educational. This is an open forumn so many others will read the discussion. Some may simply not have thought the issue through carefully enoungh, and they can learn something.
Oh, and leave "politically correct" out of it. It means so many different things to different people that it's lost all meaning.
All of the responses were good, and I understand all, but Dionisio's is the one I agree with most. What I am going to say is not in disagreement with the other posters, but another perspective. Too often we are complacent, look the other way and don't waste our time on someone else's bad or unacceptable behavior, and I feel, that that in some way also contributes to it, as well as endorses it. There's nothing quite the same in terms of impact as a perfect stranger holding you accountable for your behavior. For those of you out there perhaps 40+ who can recall any memory in your life where a perfect stranger 'busted' your for your attitude or actions, and what an impact that made on you that you haven't forgotten. (I say 40+ because back then people viewed things more as a community of people). I remember one day, when I was a young mother and was shopping in the grocery store, and a child that was too big to be sitting in the top part of the cart (maybe 7 years old at most) was cursing at her mom, bossing her around and telling her what she WILL and WILL not do, and what she BETTER buy for her today OR ELSE, and was kicking her. The mother looked drained, beaten, defeated. After observing this much longer than I could endure, I took my chances and went to that childs face and told her that that was her MOTHER and in no way shape or form was she to speak to an adult, let alone her MOTHER in that tone and I can't even remember what else I said. The little girl was stunned. Clearly no one had ever set her straight before. I was ready for the Mom to want to take me 'outside' (by the look on her face), but instead, she was overcome with relief, and gratitude. You were definitely right. The key here is 'motive' and manner. If the motive is pure, and the manner in which it's presented, you become a part of 'making a difference'.
Hugs, Sedona
And Dio, I could kiss you for expelling the word PC - man, I can't stand that term!
"and none of them were black either!" or "none of them were jewish either!". What a biggot that poor man is. Take it from me Melinda, (the TER poster child for politically INCORRECT) You are entitled to your input as equally as the "greek man" and I suspect your post holds alot more sensible more weight. (no pun intended!) You Go Girlie-Girl! Carol
Hi Mel, There is a saying! What other people's negative opinion of you may not be that of your own. It's just his observation and his observation is all that it is. Stay a BBW...Keep it sweet and clean and Hum!!! never can tell what can happen. Hell I'll see you if you cum my way! Wink!!
You are all very kind for making me feel welcomed to this board, from the very beginning It made me feel good to your responses To be honest, my correcting him, bothered the hell out of me last night lol I am generally very laid back, and I like to keep things running smoothly Percept-if I come your way, I will let you know meowwwww
I read the Boston board often, I like the board's moderator, I like how he runs the Boston board (I consider him my friend). I read the post you're talking about. I liked your first reply. I took it as a pleasant reminder that some men enjoy a women with meat on thier bones (me included) aka BBW. I would say that you should always take that one opportunity to de-mask the shroud of intolerance--with that said, I've found some pretty mean people in this hobby who can say, do and write some of the most dirtest and mean things you might ever hear. Take that with a grain of salt.
BTW, I saw that this guy has 9 reviews in the database. I didn't see anything that made you write the second reply. Was there an email or deleted message that I didn't see?
I'm not a fan of the term politically correct because of what it can sometimes mean. Instead I do believe in calling a spade a spade within the proper context, but not doing so in an unneeded derogatory manner. Trying to keep peace & harmony is admirable, but there does come times when a few idiots need to be called out for their behavior..& that frequently means having to resort to taking the gloves off. No..you won't change the attitudes they've had for maybe a lifetime, but that's not what it's about. They need to be told how their views are perceived, plus it sometimes reaches a point where to remain silent fills the mouth with blood from biting the tongue...at that point it's time to stand up & voice your opinion.
For those of you who do not know Mel,she is probrably if not the most popular sought after BBW in Boston,#1She is BEAUTIFUL.#2A TOTAL GFE!!!!!The REAL THING!!!!#3As besutiful on the inside as the outside,#4not really a BBW borderline if anything.#5Look up her reviews if you think I am bullsh%tting you.#6If anything I felt she was sticking up for the other ladies!!!!#7She is a class act!!!!LOL Grayeyed Nicolexoxoxox
It's a descriptive. It's the truth. Is there any reasoning person out there who doesn't immediatly translate BBW into fat when they see it? If you're fat and happy, why do you have a problem with being identified as fat? If you're fat and unhappy, you can either call yourself a BBW or use diet and excercise to achieve a look that you're proud of. Also, I think you're missing the point of the poster you referred to, which is that it seems, for whatever reason, that fat providers are more likely to offer Greek on the menu. I don't know why that is but it seems to hold true in a general way. Perhaps Mathesar can do a statistical study for us.
I think you're being naive, whether intentionally or maybe you just are. "Fat" is never used in a "nice" way when you talk about people, and especially women, it's always meant as a derogatory term. That's why someone came up with BBW. Get it? In the same way we don't call people "chink" or "nigger" anymore. It's meant to hurt.
Just like the word skinny when talking to an escort.It is crude to say these words.We should start going around calling all you rich old fat balding stinky hairy more bang for the buck guys CHEAP!But we don't.See my point?It's not nice.
All the words you use are indeed hurtful, perjorative by nature. I am talking about the word fat. Had I said 'fat pig' or simply 'pig' there would be no doubt that it was meant in a hurtful, not descriptive manner. Question: what is the subcutaneous substance that makes a 'BBW'? Is there a cutesy term we can substitute? If I go to a restaurant and desire a lean steak should I ask them to trim the BBW off before serving it? It's a word. It speaks to a physical condition. It is neither positive or negative. Fat is Fat. Many men enjoy, even prefer fat women. That doesn't demean either them or the objects of their lust.
No lady likes to be called fat.She knows she is but it still hurts.Just like none of you guys like to be called cheap.It's a hurtful word.And its very crude and not classy at all.You guys want to be classy to us ladies.You talk about BFE and GFE all the time.If you post crude stuff like this to us on the boards when you want to see us women fat or not we will remember the crude things you said on the boards about us and then we will not want to see you.
The word Fat. It could be used in many forms. But, when it is used to hurt other's, YES-then I have an issue. NO- I am NOT unhappy with my body, to be honest. I would have an issue, if someone was underweight, and they were being called names. I would have an issue, if someone was of a different color, and they were being called names. That is me. Maybe, I am too sensitive, and I care about those around me, and want EVERYONE to be treated with the proper respect, love, and caring that ONE DESERVES. If that is considered a crime in this society: then lock me up! I love myself, and by doing so, I am able to love other's regardless of who they are, etc. I keep repeating this statement, over and over, and it's always held true: It's NOT what you say, it's HOW you say it So, I will leave you with those words of wisdom
p.s.
The issue with the greek, had NOTHING to do with the subject of labeling, which I had brought up on the Boston board. Please read it thoroughly, and carefully, for the person that I had suggested for greek, is NOT bbw I had responded to another gentleman who had handled his subject of us bbw's in a undelicate way.
The nation's premier support group for people of size is called NAAFA. That stands for National Association to Advance FAT Acceptance. (Emphsis mine). If they're willing to call a spade a spade, why can't everyone else?
It's too bad there aren't more fat providers. A lot of men, myself included, prefer fat women, but many are "in the closet" about it. Not me. I'm very happy to have a fat lady on my arm, and I really don't give a s**t about what anyone else thinks about it.
I agree - give it a name and we can all understand it the same way. BBW, to me, smacks of deception. It's as if they're saying 'I'm not really fat, I'm just big'. Anna Nicole Smith was big in her heyday - today she's fat. Can anyone see the difference?
It has nothing to do with size.This guy was out of line.I'm very thin and I wouldn't like it if a guy called me a tooth pick or twiggy,or boney, or even skinny.I am a slender provider.Just like you are a big beautiful woman provider.There is a place in this biz for all of us.These guys have to learn we will NOT put up with crudeness in any form!
The word is Zoftig.It means large in a good sexy way.Zoftig women are large and beautiful.Leave it to the Jews to have a nice word for fat.Now let me see a Jew in here that says I'm wrong.I just got this word from a Jew so it must be right.BTW there is a nice Jewish resturante in Brookline Ma. By that name.Great Food!
NO.We girls do not like those words,or a lot of other words they ues on there.Thats why my self and a lot of other girls do not like reviews written about us on that review board.That is why you only see like I think 4 reviews about me on that board.I don't like what guys have to say to post a review on that board.And I speak for a lot of other girls also on this.As for the words you just mentioned above...lets see:Average :OK
Skinny : HELL NO Thin :OK Very muscular :OK Baby Fat:HELL NO Flabby :HELL NO Heavy :HELL NO Very Fat :HELL NO
Also tubby,lard ass,fat bottom girls,thunder thighs,porky,sponge bottom or sponge ass,krinkle ass,OH and let us not forget CHEESE CAKE BUTT! Those words are offensive.Back in the days of old BBW's were the ones that artists panted and loved.Dam!you never seen no skinny white ass get panted in those pictures back then.It was all them big ladies that were hailed as beautiful.And large beautiful women I must say are comming into their own again.The new name for beauty in a plus size is BBW.Get use to it buddy.They are big.They are beautiful.And they are here to stay.
Oh trust me, we've all complained about the lack of a BBW catagory, I believe skinny should go too, as well as heavy, very fat,& flabby. those boarder on disrespect and I think waif, svelt, leggy, slim, Rubinesque, full-figured, or just large, or Big woman, gives a much more respectful picture of who we are, human-beings, not a Side of Beef...What is hurtful is the spirit in which they're said as well. Another Provider with a vendeta against me called me, "That Grandma Provider", now, on the surface that seems harmless, but she refered to me as that, several times, never once by my name, clearly meaning it as as a put down. So evil people can be hurtful even if the majority don't get the implications. The comments by some on this board are helpful and said with a kind and gentle spirit, others clearly have a mean spirit and who they are ,is very clear, as well as their intent to be hurtful. IMO...Peace, Robyn
When you're in meetings or in a business situation how often do you tell someone "Hey you're FAT!" if your boss was fat would you go to the office and say "Hey boss you look FAT today!" Would you tell your biggest client "My my Mr. Bigbucks, you look FATTER than ever today!"
Would you tell your children "Hey kids you look FAT, have a nice day at school!" Would you tell your parents "Hey Mom and Dad, you look nice and FAT" today. Would you tell your wife, "Honey, I don't think that dress will fit over your FAT ass."
Perhaps I'm missing something here, but if you answer yes to any of these questions I have a very simple suggestion.
Take a Sharpie Marker, draw a circle on a cement wall about head-high, put your hands on either side of it, and beat your head against it until you've knocked some common sense into that thick (FAT) skull of yours.
No, I don't 'call' people fat. I don't use it as a perjorative. Neither do I 'call' people short, or black, or (fill in the blanks). That said, using your other post as reference, if I were asked to describe you I might say tall or short, refer to your complexion, hair color, and yes - i might say you were fat. Not out of meanness, not to put you down, but simply as a description. The person I was describing you to may take that as a positive or a negative in forming an opinion as to your attractiveness to them, just as any other aspect of your person could lead to that determination. As has been pointed out here, a significant number of men find fat women attractive. There's someone for everyone. My notion of feminine beauty will be unattractive to some and that's ok. I'm sorry that you're unhappy with your weight, and I'm glad you're taking positive steps to achieve your goal. Not because then you'll be more attractive to me, but because you'll be happier in your own skin, and that's what's really important. Finally, in closing, let me say this: It's not important what people call you, but what you answer to. That's up to you.
You missed the point. If you don't call people fat to their face, you KNOW that it is derogatory term. Your argument is moot.
I was unhappy with how much I weighed, not with myself or my life. I decided to change my weight, that's what I'm doing now and will continue to do so.
I agree that everyone has their own notion of physical beauty, as well as spiritual beauty and overall comliness. I'm not a "Walter Mitty" type who beleives that someone is attractive just because they have a "GREAT" personality. Fact is, if personality were the litmus test for attraction things in our society would look entirely different than they do now.
It seems odd to me that you would choose Henry Kissinger as a pseudonym. I know him as a business colleague, not personally. The way he speaks to people, and addresses others is completely anathema to your approach, and lack of tact.
The term refers to women as portrayed by Peter Paul Rubens [Flemish Baroque Era Painter, 1577-1640]. What it shows is that beauty is not merely in the eye of the beholder, but largely determined by time and culture. Reubens was portraying the standard of female beauty in Europe ca. 1620.
The type of female figure glorified in our culture would have been considered disgustingly skinny (by the majority) back then. Fashions change, and not just in clothing.
Main Entry: 1fat Pronunciation: 'fat Function: adjective Inflected Form(s): fat·ter; fat·test Etymology: Middle English, from Old English f[AE]tt, past participle of f[AE]tan to cram; akin to Old High German feizit fat Date: before 12th century 1 : notable for having an unusual amount of fat: a : PLUMP b : OBESE c of a meat animal : fattened for market d of food : OILY, GREASY 2 a : well filled out : THICK, BIG (a fat book) b : full in tone and quality : RICH (a gorgeous fat bass voice -- Irish Digest) c : well stocked (a fat larder) d : PROSPEROUS, WEALTHY (grew fat on the war -- Time) e : being substantial and impressive (a fat bank account) 3 a : richly rewarding or profitable (a fat part in a movie) (a fat contract) b : practically nonexistent (a fat chance) 4 : PRODUCTIVE, FERTILE (a fat year for crops) 5 : STUPID, FOOLISH 6 : being swollen (got a fat lip from the fight) 7 of a baseball pitch : easy to hit - fat·ness noun
OK, I'm all settled in with my bottle of Anfora (Zinfandel from the Puglia Region of Italy), a bag of fried pork rinds, and a small square of duck liver pate.
Let's talk about weight. I've been doing the Atkins diet since July of last year. I was up to 363 pounds, I'm now below 300 and still losing. My condition wasn't due to any glandular or metabolic problem, it was due to inactivity, poor nutritional intake, and stress.
I'd get home from work, and click on the TV, hit my wine cellar and order a pizza. My daily commute puts me on the road early and home late, Eating like this every day or every other day catches up with you. Long story short, over many years I put on much too much weight. Now I'm doing something about it.
Enough background. Calling someone fat is incredibly insensitive, appallingly rude, and completely unacceptable. It is no different than making a racial, religious, cultural or any other number of bigoted remarks, and has the same demeaning and degrading effect on the individual at whom it was directed.
Personally it makes me want to take the person that said it and beat on him/her with my considerably heavy arms, hands and feet until their eyes bug-out like a stomped on toad! People who are overweight, obese or morbidly obese know their condition. Negative comments about their condition generally press them to the one thing that gives them immediate and tangible gratification. Food.
Think before you speak, lest you inspire the curmudgeon of girth to seek you out and flatten you like a pancake (with REAL butter and REAL maple syrup!!!)
As I said earlier "Some People" not all people are born heavy.Some people get that way later in life.Sometimes being on some med's can make you fat. And diet can be hard,I KNOW!.Calling anyone FAT even though the word FAT in it's self as our friend who thinks he's a smart ass over here[LOL! I know your just trying to get my goat honey,your cute, and it is a good debate] just posted is not a bad word in it's self. But you all know dam well [I Hope] that saying that to a very heavy person is not a very nice thing to do.Dam! I see a LOT of very large men all the time.I never called any of them FAT! As a matter of fact I like very large men.They are my Teddy Bears! PS... I use to have a girlfriend that was a BBW and I loved her just the way she was. BTW. At one time I use to be FAT! So I know how all you guys feel about the fat jokes.It hurts.
Nobody is calling anybody fat here. None of my posts have referred to confronting an individual, pointing a finger and pronouncing "You're fat! J'Accuse!"
All references have been to descriptions from one hobbyist to another. In that milieu I believe it is a fair descriptive.
I know, anyone who is interested in seeing a provider is a fool if he doesn't do his due diligence, visit her website and look at her posted pictures. However:
How often does a review state that they are not actual pictures or that the pictures are old? How often do you find 'glamour shots' that are calculated to hide the true nature of her body? How often are pictures carefully posed and clothing artfully draped to give the impression of a thinner person?
Let's face it. This hobby is about a commodity that women posess and that we, as men, desire. We prefer, for whatever reason, to posess for a short time a dream that lives within us. It is therefore paramount that what is offered is truthful and accurate to ensure the right match to gaurantee the happiness and satisfaction of both parties.
Truth in advertising - what's wrong with that?
I'll bow out now - this has been an enjoyable exchange, for the most part without rancor (barring the occasional threat of violence and name-calling) that I hope ultimately promotes understanding, not division. God bless all the ladies, fat or thin, short or tall, FS or massage, GFE, PSE or just plain GND. There's something for everyone, and ain't that grand?
That is why bbw''s advertise as bbw's and other's should be equally proud to advertise their body look. I have no issues with showing my body, and if you look at some my pics, you will see my breasts displayed, booty hanging out, etc. lol When I look at them, I get turned on by how I look (not to mention, millions of other men lol). But, I do agree with you, that those who are fabricating one thing, and when you meet them, they turn out to be a different version then what their pics suggest, I would be upset, as well. BUT, the difference is, I would tell the girl upfront that you are NOT going through with the session, in a manner which so dictates, and be the end of it. When you go to write a review, just be honest and say: her pics on her website indicates that she is of a thin build, but in person, she had added weight on her. What is wrong with saying it like that then saying: her pics on her website indicates that she is of thin build, in person, she was just fat. I hope that you can see the logic in this? Anyways, I also enjoyed everyone's posting regardless if it reflected my views or not. I am just glad that everyone took the time out of their day, to respond
It all boils down to one's personal preferences. Unless it involves children, there is nothing wrong with whatever floats your boat.
Don't like big women? Fine, then don't date them, marry them or buy their services (assuming you can find one, that is). But don't slam them as undesirable either.
Personally, I'm not at all attracted to black women. But I don't go around calling them by the N-word.
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." Now, just looking back, was I wrong in trying to be politically correct? For those who know me, I am the least person to start a flame war. I would like to have your input on this everyone.
