How many hobbyist or providers feel that the guy's pay for sex because that's the only way they can get it. Or perhaps the only way they can have something better than themselves. I have read comments like this many times. I for one do this for the variety and fun not because it's the only way I can get it.

I don't think that way at all!  I just had an interesting conversation with a gentleman today who reiterated what is common knowledge to most providers.  He says that he is in a happy marriage and loves his wife dearly, but is now at the age where he wants to explore his sexuality.  At the risk of scaring and/or pissing his wife off, he decides to explore new, exciting, and different things with a provider.  

There are so many varying reasons that a gentleman seeks the company of a providing lady.  Here are just a few reasons that I have heard:  Some are single and work obsessed and too busy to date; some simply want a "no strings attached" encounter with a beautiful woman; some want company while they are on business; some want variety; some want to explore fantasies; some want to relax; some want to have a therapy session; some just adore women.....the list goes on and on and on.

Of course, there are some individuals who are too shy to approach a gorgeous woman or are inexperienced in the bedroom, too.  There are so many beautiful reasons.

I don't think negatively of any man seeking a provider.  In fact, I admire them.  I think it is fantastic that men know what they want and know how to get it and ultimately, ENJOY it.  

Besides, isn't "regular" dating super expensive?!

imo only a very very small percentage of men who pay for play do so because it is the only way they can "get it." far more common it is a desire for variety, a need for companionship and affection, a means to explore repressed desires and fantasies, and many, many other reasons.

personally though i try to avoid gents who simply seek variety...i wish to establish real connections, with gents who have a need for the qualities that i have to offer. nothing against the practice, but i just have no desire to be simply one of "31 flavors."

There are a few men out there who intrapersonel skills allow them to manipulate women into the bedroom at will.  They are commonly known as "players". otherwise, most of us "wine and dine" until you can seal the deal of you will.  Because I like variety, I rather not wine and dine because at my age...mid 40's, most women like some form of committment, after two divorces, I rather hobby.

i don't understand what you're talking about officer, i pay for companionship only what happens between consenting adults is purely personal and non monatary.

seriously though, men pay for women in every aspect.  We get married and pay for thier support and entertainment (unless they are the breadwinner) we date woman and pay for the possibiity of getting laid.  A hobbyist is simply fufilling his/her fantasies by not having drama or strings attached and getting the one thing that they need...companionship with whatever benefit that they may be seeking.  
As far as the ladies being with someone whose looks may not be up to whatever standards other may think she should have...who's to say what SHE should or shouldn't want?  She IS ultimately making the decision of what she wants...thus the disgrunted reviewers.

I just think of it as a great experience that costs some money, but what doesn't? It doesn't have the game-playing and trama of dating and it is a positive experience for both the man and the woman. It hurts no one and feels wonderful. I can't think of a better way to spend some money and have some real fun. The end result of this hobby is a series of erotic, enjoyable experiences for me and some money for the women. It beats golf, and I like golf!

There are more men on this board that pay for it directly out of mere necessity than would like to admit it.  You will generally find them bitching about rates that are "too high" or making some idiotic "supply and demand" analysis about hobbying.  

Then there are the ones who are obviously socially inept individuals who could not get laid otherwise based on their posts (ie, corny jokes, awkward sounding compliments, etc).  

Recreation for some, survival for others.

"Besides, isn't "regular" dating super expensive?!"

Recently, I met an attractive woman while eating out, got her phone number, invited her out, and met up with her later that night to an event I was going to be at anyway.  She showed up, we left for somewhere else, dancing, and having a rather good time, but ultimately didn't lead anywhere.  Afterwards, I wasn't to enthused to follow up with her more than a couple times for the next week and realized I wasn't really that interested in her, though I might have been if we had sex.  The cost of that "date" was about $45 between everything I covered.

On the other hand, I met a girl through craigslist who was so much hotter, younger, we exchanged a few emails, a couple of calls, and she was at my place the next night for about 3 hours of fun.  Non-pro and turns out she wasn't even anticipating or expecting much money, she was looking for mostly NSA.  Cost of that "date" was $80 and a definite interest from me to see her again.

Cost on non-civvie date was just a little more, but I didn't waste barely any of my time, and got the action I was looking for.  The civvie date was about 5 or 6 hours of my time that lead to nothing but a fun time going out, which I can do for almost free with my buddies.

I understand that my example is skewed since a "pro" would have cost more in the range of $200-300 per hour, but I've totally lost interest in "pro" providers and the low-maintenance UTR non-pros are just as nice to meet up with.  A bit harder to find, a little tricky to schedule with, but worth it.

So to me the difference now isn't money, it's connecting with a girl for a relationship.  If I was willing to live with blue balls across multiple dates until I managed some action, then I would do civvie "dating" more often.

Dating "pros" is significantly more expensive than regular dating, I don't care what anyone says.  Maybe if you're wealthy and have to give your ex-wife 50% of your property, but for most of the rest of us $300 per hour is insane to do regularly.  There was a time I did and now I wish I had spent more time investigating UTR non-pro options.

of seeking an affair? The nature of the hobbyist/provider seem to be much more clearly defined, perhaps even more honest and genuine than seeking out a mistress.
Having an affair just because you need to explore your sexuality is a messy thing. You don't just tell a civie gal "I want a fuck buddy. How about you?" There is the pursuit, the seduction, the expectations, etc.
With provider/hobbist there are no:
"When are you going to leave her for me?" from her, nor 'I want you but I can't leave my wife for ___ reasons." from him.

IMHO, your comment "I don't think negatively of any man seeking a provider.  In fact, I admire them.  I think it is fantastic that men know what they want and know how to get it and ultimately, ENJOY it." is intelligent, free of hangups and socially advanced. How great would it be if this could be somehow taught to replace the more narrow and unhealthy views that are common.

That's why I hobby now. Why go through the middleman? Scenario....

You meet a beautiful civvie lady, and if she's interested also, you go out. You meet for drinks, then dinner, and possibly a show. Concert, movie, whatever. Or go dancing and listen to a band. More drinks and such. Museums? Bio-park? Wine tasting? You get the idea....

Anyway, you're looking at $200-300 on the first date. And MAYBE you'll get laid. Actually, you're probably lucky to get a kiss on the first date.

But if you meet with a provider, you can do all of these things and as long as you're not a creap, you'll get laid.

Granted, it'll cost a little more if you decide to go the 'date' route. But if you just want to get your rocks off, just give the lovely lady an envelope and she'll take care of you.

I don't mean to sound callous about the whole experience, but from what I have seen these ladies are here, for the most part, to make a living. Some get enjoyment, as much as us, which I think is great!  

Personally, I dig the 'date' thing with a provider. I like to hang out and have drinks, have some food, and get to know eachother better before we hit the sheets. YMMV....

By the way, don't get me started on the alternative as far as wife or gf....!

How many women you meet,  you wine and dined and finally get them in bed and she a 4-just laid there...Perhaps if I had a review from the last BF, I would not have TOFTT

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
- Brendan Francis

I thought i wasn't normal, because i decide to get in (and of course i have a life).
But in reading these post, you are right I love my life and do no want to leave, but have some fun apart without any string.
Since these experience i want to get again, but i feel somehow guilty.
How do you feel ?

I got EX GF's who cost me more than the cost of a beautiful "pro" woman...  
I got an EX finance who cost me thousands.
I have an EX-W who cost me 50G.  (I should have hobbied instead.)
No telling what the current W has cost...

but I still have things to do in my bucket list.  I know that they will never happen unless I go after them.  So I have & do not regret it.
skb

prize the experiences I have had with providers.  It ia not the relief of deprivation, but the something special in this relationship.

If you think you're paying for sex... then you are.  If that's your mindset, then that's what you're going to be focusing on through your entire encounter with a provider.  Personally speaking, I think that's a shallow perspective to take, but to each his own.

I had a situation where I went out with a gentleman ~ to dinner, a night club and then back to his hotel room.  We had no sex whatsoever... he just held me close to him, spooning me, and we fell asleep.  In the morning, we ordered room service and he gave me thousands of dollars when I left.  Now, this was a wealthy and well-connected gentleman who was married to a model.  And I've heard of providers that have had similar situations.

The world has been socialized in such a way that men pay for women in one way or another.  Conventional dating standards call for a man to pay for a series of dates with a woman before he has sex with her.  If she sleep with him 'too soon' often times she is labeled... cheap.  Remember, why buy the cow when I can get the milk for free, right?  Marriage proposals are clinched with an engagement ring to... "close the deal."  Most men accept and go along with these and other traditional societal conventions even though they don't necessarily agree with them... usually eventually resenting them... and even women, too.

When a man sees a provider he is usually not looking for a relationship, but is simply interested in companionship, a little company.  For some hobbyists, it's just fun and games, but for others it's a bit more sophisticated and nuanced than some can even begin to wrap their minds around.  Sex may or may not be involved, but the provider is being compensated for her time.  Many attorneys operate the same way... you are not paying for what the attorney is doing, but the time it takes for the attorney to do what he is doing.

So, to me, the only-losers-see-providers argument is 100% bs.

Two completely different worlds, and each has its advantages and disadvantages.  But I'll never buy into the popular provider line (or posting theme) that we pay the same either way.  And that's exactly what drives me to hobby or not hobby.  I enjoy hobbying whether I've gone months without civvy-play or whether I'm having civvy double or triple headers over a weekend.  I can't speak for others but it's all about economics for me and has almost nothing to do with my current civvy success/failure rate.  If I can afford to hobby, I do.  If the budget is tighter, I don't.  Hobbying, like other things, is an entertainment expense.  No doubt civvy-life has tremendous non-economic "costs", but even a generous civvy date will pale in comparison to hobby "costs".  Spend a few hours over dinner or drinks and then another few hours of playtime ... do any of you really think you end up paying the same as being on the clock with a provider???!!!

Yes, in some instances the analogy applies.  But for a civvy date that includes some unrushed postgame, the "it costs the same" argument is laughable.

I don't pay them to have sex, I pay them to leave right after having sex.  

Damned well worth every penny too!

Can you clarify?  Are you speaking of going out one time with a civie on a regular date, the civie ends up being generous and that's it?  If so, I can see where, in the monetary sense, you may come out ahead.

But most men end up "settling down" at some point in their lives... and when he decides to finally do so, that process involves dating (spending money until/while you're getting laid), engagement ring (a lot of money plunked down to officially take your intended off the market), a wedding (paying your share of what is often times some convoluted fantasy of what she wants), kids (if you choose to have them, they cost a lot of money), and if the marriage dissolves (alimony and child support might be in your future).

If you are a man who can get through your entire life on easy hook-ups with no monetary strings attached, fine.  I'm not sure I've ever seen or heard of this being accomplished.

So what is the real Cost for Me
Wife = 1/2 My income - stay at home mom
Sex = Maybe 30 times per year (I am afraid depression would sink in if I really counted)

Hobbyist
Hourly Fee $300
Sex = 3 times per week ($1200*52)$62400

Except for the fact that I now have a terrific son I would be ahead of the game about 20K per year if I would have just decided to be a hobbyist.

If you need a friend buy a dog.

"You don't just tell a civie gal 'I want a fuck buddy. How about you?' There is the pursuit, the seduction, the expectations, etc."

Why not?  Just don't be so crude in how you say it.  A lot of women, especially younger ones, are often up for it, so long as she knows you will not cross the boundary or risk embarrassing her.

I look at it this way..some men have to pay for sex because of the type of woman he is wanting sex with. Let me make myself clear...middle-aged man, overweight and not that attractive...wants a hot 25 year old woman. Unless he is "Mr Moneybags" ( a non pro arrangement, although I do have my views on this too), his chances of playing out his fantasy or fulfilling his need for variety,is not going to happen unless he pays for it. Does it make him a loser...NO. But it is the only way he is going to get that type of woman to have sex with him.

Same goes for the guys that want to fuck a porn star. Odds that a porn star is going to come up to them and offer it for free is pretty slim...summarily he "buys" his time and his fantasy.

And unfortunately for them, there are men who have to pay for it or they would still be virgins. Sad, but true.

I have been reading your replies all over the general board and find you to be extremely jaded and cynical. You should definitely take stock of yourself and decide if this lifestyle is healthy for you. Maybe you just need to take a break and recharge your batteries. Try not to let such mundane things, like the workings of public boards,  dominate your psyche and color your personality. It's not worth it

Bitter? For telling it like it is? Oh I see. I'm not saying what a good little provider should say. There was nothing bitter in this post but fact.

And as for my other replies...again I guess I'm not playing the correct provider game. Not submitting to the masses.

I'm very happy in this profession and with my clientele. I will not sit by passively and shut up if something bothers me. Again...I guess I'm not saying it how it is palatable on a mens board. Then again a woman who is outspoken is often called jaded, cynical,angry or a man hater.
A predictable response on your part.

I look at this profession from a position of fact...pay for play and nothing more.

Don't worry about my psyche sweetie...this board is a form of amusement for me.

Your first paragraph certainly describes me, except I'm borderline underweight. You're right, I could date women in my own league, and have, but that isn't nearly as much fun.

Too much woman for ya Bud? Yes I guess I am beyond hope for some guys...I'm OK with that. Not compliant enough...Oh well you have plenty to choose from. No love lost between us.

Thank you IMMALLIN. I was not having a cheap shot but merely stating another reason why men see paid companions.

Incredible..you can say that and no-one has called you cynical, jaded or bitter.