Think about what brought you to this point in your life.  Did she stop working and/or going to school after marrying you?  Did you decide to have children and jointly decide she would stay home with them??

Take it from me...your wife is HORNY and WAITING for you to fucking RAVISH her!!!  Try that instead of being complacent and ignoring HER sexual needs.

I used to masturbate every time after having sex with my ex.  He sucked in bed and never tried making it fun or even the slightest bit better.  Now I am having the time of my life!  I get to fuck LOTS of men and enjoy every minute of it.

I get to have the part of you your wife never gets.  I get all the passion, wildness etc...  So, for that I thank all the married men!

You brought up some damn good points and left us with something to think about.

Thank you very much!

Wow. You ladies agree with this?

Didn't think something like this would come up. I find it a very interesting point of view.

Like I said, just askin'. No judgements here.

Now THAT'S honesty!!

very possibly the best post ever!

You know, of course, that you'll get bashed as hell with all sorts of screams of denial.

But a nail has never been hit on the head so well.

what you say is not true for us.  I love what I do and love fucking him too.  We go to swingers clubs and fuck other couples.  We are best friends and are completely open with each other about everything.  

Don't generalize due to your experience.  There are many ladies such as myself who have an SO that enjoys this lifestyle as much as we do.  

No need to separate fucking from making love...Just FUCK!  Have fun with it!  Who cares about the sexual act itself.  It is what we do outside of the bedroom that makes us work.

He can fuck whoever he wants to fuck and so can I.  We are cool with it.  Why not?!?  He is a man.  He will always want to fuck other women.  I am a woman who will always want to fuck other men and women.  Why not go for it?  I do!  I love the variety of men and women I get to fuck.

If he ever gets to the point that he is not okay with it, then HE can leave.  I love my life just the way it is.

LOL...WAKE UP!!!! Are You Serious....

I don't want any Guy telling me to quit...I Love sex and there is a difference between Sex and making Love...the emotions are different...I have to say...this is the funniest thing I have read...."You want us to not be OK with it" Why would that be...I personally think it would be Awesome to find a man that was perfectly OK with what I do...then I would get the best of both worlds...and to answer You qustion....Yes, I truly believe in my Soul that I could separate fucking from making Love..there is a Huge difference...are You sure it isn't You that could have the problem....

I made the deliberate choice to be a provider just last October. I'm 53. I have no guilt, no low-self-esteem issues, and no self-hatred. I know there's a difference between simple fucking and making love; I've known since I was twenty and catting in bars between SOs.

My late bf knew it too, when I went to parties just to play (still giving it away at that time). He was a voyeur; he loved hearing my stories of my playmates and then taking his time to make love to me. He'd have loved for me to have been a provider, just so I had new stories for him to get turned on by. (Unfortunately, he died five years ago.)

So, my point is, not all ladies are in this because they don't like themselves. Or have some kind of soul-hurt. Or because it's all they know how to do. Some of us - me included - are darn proud of being providers!

what you say rings true for some i am sure, most especially those who may be carrying some old and deep emotional scars, and who have yet to reach that point in life of true love and acceptance of self. that would certainly describe a percentage of women in this hobby. however, i would say that such women are far from the rule.

i am happily married, have been with my Husband my entire adult life, and did not pursue escorting until long after we were married. it was done with his permission and assistance. now of course my motivations for pursuing this hobby are different than most in that i do not truly care about the money involved past the fact that it serves to create a healthy emotional boundary which is necessary given the nature of the relationships i develop with my clients. and i'll be honest, part of me also finds it quite objectifying (which i find uberhot). my Husband shares these feelings with me, from enjoying my therapeutic approach to providing, to being aroused by the objectification of it. we enjoy talking about it and he knows intimate details about all of my clients and the unique relationship i share with each particular man.

what i would hate is to be with a man who simply tolerated what i did...who did not truly enjoy it for himself, who did not see the value or beauty or eroticism in it, and who merely treated it like a "job" that his wife has. bank teller, beautician, escort, whatever, doesn't make a difference to him. that would make all of this feel very dirty to me (in a bad way), and would really crush me emotionally. thankfully i do not have to deal with that, and have a Man who loves this as much as i do.

You and I and my twisted way of thinking?

Or...

That you wouldn't pass judgement on your SO if she was a provider?

I think I know the answer to both already.

My husband is a hell of a lot more advanced in dealing with my profession, than I am in dealing with my jealousy issues.

I am grateful that he loves me enough to deal with that, and to handle my 'green eyed' monster with care. He knows wherefrom it stems, and he knows that I want him to have fun on an intellectual level, but just can't handle it on an emotional level (yet). So we have a deal. If I don't set it up (yes I have scheduled appointments with providers for him), or if I am not there (yes we have enjoyed the swinging lifestyle), then he best make damn sure I never find out. And that works for us. I truly believe that what I don't know can't hurt me, and since I do trust him, I just prefer it this way.

Craven had a good point, about the provider he lived with having moments where she 'wanted' him to be jealous. I had those same issues in the beginning as a provider, and for the exact same reasons he alluded to. The double edged sword, so to speak. I did come to realize that it was an insane way of thinking. I love being a provider, and am super grateful every day that I have a supportive and loving man who not only accepts me, but does not have a single solitary 'bad' thought about 'what I do'. I think it helps that we have known each other for many years, and before I became a provider.

In fact, when I first expressed interest in doing this, it was he who explained the 'emotional' drain that it would be. He introduced me to the 'industry' and told me his own stories about being a 'john'.

My husband loves me deeply, would kill a man if he hurt me, but has zero jealousy about who I fuck. He does however get pissed if I am not home when I said I would be, if I plan a tour without asking him, or if I make a last minute appointment without letting him know in advance. He is jealous about my time and my companionship, and I guard those feelings of his with care as well.

The real Truth of the Matter, in my case at least, is that I did not love or respect myself when I first became a provider. That showed in my secret (and sometimes not so secret) desire that my SO make me stop, get jealous, or otherwise have a sliding scale of not being accepting. It is precisely through both his acceptance and love, combined with the extraordinarily empowering experiences of having men pay to be in my company, that has helped me to become much more self loving and self accepting. For me at least, this profession has done more to 'heal me' than 10 years of therapy ever did.

I have never been married. But, I have lived with ladies. Some had children infact. One ex I was with had a daughter that I loved very much and thought of her as my own. She would run up to me when I came home from work and hug the shit out of me. Her and her mother would play-argue saying 'my Mikey' and the other would say 'No! My Mikey'.

Her father was killed a few years ago. Shot in the chest with a shot gun infront of a bar. Talented guy, musician. I went so far as to contact her school principal to ask if there was anything I could do to help this little lady. Never got an answer.  

But that was before the hobby. I have since been in this community for a couple of years. Not long by most standards of the people that reside here, but none the less, I am a part of this community.

I've seen and dealt with a lot of shit in my life. Pre-hobby and up to now. You mentioned my drinking.

I'll admit, I drink more than a person should. It's what I do. I don't hit women, and as a matter of fact think it's chickenshit if a man does and I'll be the first to kick your door in if that's what you do.

You being in general, not you specifically...

So yeah, I like to think that I have a certain sense of tolerance and respect and love for another person's choices. I don't want to *own* anybody, by no means.

I'm just saying, if I had a lady that provided, I would have no problem with it. I'm the last person to pass judgement on anyone.

BTW, don't get me started when I used to do drugs and other shit...

I feel stifled in my job. And when I have to pay bills every month. The routine, the monotany, just fucking sucks.

And then I got into this. The variety and the choices. The camaraderie. The flirting with ladies and eventually meeting them.

Who am I to pass judgement on someone that wants, or does, live with a provider? Married or not. Has kids with them or not. Just two people that dig each other and want to be with each other.

What's wrong with that?

Does it matter what one does for a living? If one or the other or both are hypersexual?

As long as there is trust and honesty, what's the deal?