She is always going to be this way.

I've known some gals like this, believe me, it is not rare.

So you have a backup plan, and be philosophical about it:  It it happens, it happens, and if it don't, it don't.

The ball's in your court now.

So I've only been playing in this game for about 5 months. One of the very first providers I saw I really felt a connection with and as a result I've seen her 4 times in the last 5 months (I've only been "hobbying" twice a month). The hours I've spent with her have been the happiest I've had in the last several months. The problem is she's flaky when it comes to scheduling her.  The first session we had scheduled everything was good with a lot of contact and back and forth during the screening process. But the day of the session I couldn't get a hold of her (it was incall) so in effect a NCNS. This really bummed me out because this was my first time (bad enough to get stood up by a civvie but a provider too). Anyway, a couple weeks later I get an e-mail from her apologizing saying that she was having some issues and she was hospitalized but that if I was still interested she would make it up to me.

I figured what the hell, we scheduled an appointment, met and everything really went well. She even opened up some about her issue (which I won't go into except to say it is mental health related) and I felt we really hit it off. Second session was scheduled about a month later and no real problems except she texted me just before I'm about to leave to meet her that she is running about an hour late. OK, no problem. Again the actual session was great. in fact she gives me her real name and direct cell number (not her provider number) to use to schedule.   Third session, again fairly smooth to schedule it but again the day of she texted that she was running late and needs to move it back a couple of hours (in fairness after our first session she warned me that she was always running late and not good with time mgmt. Again the actual session was one of the best times of my life.

So now another month later I go to schedule the 4th session. I send her a text (as we had agreed texting was the preferred method). No response at all. I wait a day and send a follow-up again no response. I wait another day and then I start to really worry about her (because of the mental health issue she confided in me). So I send her a message stating that I'm worried about her but that if she hasn't responded because she just didn't want to see me again for some reason that I would be disappointed but I would respect her decision but to at least let me know if that was the case and that she was all right. After about an hour I received a text from her saying she should have responded earlier to me but she was having some issues again and she had left town for a few days. I let her know I understood and that to let me know when she was feeling better or if I could help.  A couple of weeks later just after Christmas I get a text from her saying if I wanted to see her she would really like to see me. Great, we schedule and it was the best sex I've ever had. She tells me she is trying some new meds and they are working well and she is in a very good mood during our session.

Now move to the present, A several days ago I send her a text inquiring about getting together on Valentine's day. She responds that she scheduled a trip out of town and won't be back until the day after. In the text she sounds really upset that she wouldn't be able to see me on Valentine's. I respond no big deal, we can get together before you're trip or after you get back and ask which she prefers (I give her several dates to chose from). No response. My response was immediately after receiving her initial response so I know she has to see it. The next day I send another text stating I was expecting to her from her by now. Again nothing. It's now been 3 days and she hasn't responded.

Sorry for the novel but here's my question. Is she playing games with me for some reason? I really like this girl and when we are together it is like fireworks on the 4th of July but the rest of it is really frustrating me. Should I just accept that if I want to continue to see her there is going to be this drama or should I cut ties?

You are expecting too much for the girl. She ain't your girlfriend...She has already stated that she has mental health issues.

If she wants to see you, she will get in touch with you. Leave her one text and that's it...

She doesn't owe you shit..

Find someone else to play with..

You're attached to her. You might be in love with her, right? Maybe? Even if you're not you're asking more than what she is capable of giving you. Who knows if she is playing games. Sounds like she is dealing with psychological issues and this will bring you down if you get too close, which it sounds like you alread have. You may not want to hear this but find a new girl. The frustration will continue and proly get worse

It's a hobby! Take a piece of paper and write that out and tape it to your bathroom mirror.

I have met some great ladies in this hobby but I stay clear of their personal stuff and manage my expectations accordingly.

Who tells a first time client, she's got mental problems lol. Boy, talk about genius marketing.

Leave her alone - not worth it - trust me. Cut the cord before you get hurt.
Go check the Ter reviews - check out the ladies that post - check out your local agencies, etc and get out there with someone else.
My best wishes to you, my friend

CurlyW - I don't intend on initiating contact again. What I'm struggling with is how to respond if she contacts me. Do I say great another opportunity for great sex and go from there or do I tell her I can't see her again?

Blue, You might be right but I don't think I'm in "love". Hell, the truth is I don't think I'm really capable of loving someone and never have been. There are some feelings there though as she is the only provider I've ever really wanted to see multiple times (admittedly I haven't been doing this all that long). Regardless, you're confirming what I probably already knew so thanks.

You like her company? You think she is good between sheets.. Yes...Sure.. Go for it..

Why are you so hurt when she doesn't reply you back !!!  Gett all the emotions out of it and just "pay for play..."

Many times, I told the provider I can't come because I am on meds for my anxiety and mild panic attack.  After my confession, quite a few would tell me they are also on meds for their problem. But they never flake out on me even once. You can have mental problem and still be professional. This girl either has a serious problem or is using her mental issue as an excuse. Either way, it's time to find your new ATF. There is always someone else who will fuck your brains out if that's all you want (I hope for your sake). This is NOT match.com.

A couple of months ago, I had an appointment with my mechanic for some work on my car. I showed up, on time, had just washed the car and everything.... and he wasn't there! Door locked, no note. What was I supposed to think. I called him, got voicemail, and just said "Hey... I'm here, you're not... did I get my signals crossed?"

He called me back the next day and apologized profusely, said it had been a full moon the night before, and he had to rush off to see his witch doctor who helps to keep him from.... changing. He then asked if I could bring the car by tomorrow, he'd take care of me.

Ok.

I'll tell you what, though, he fixed my car good, it ran better than ever after he worked on it. Since then, though, I have made appointments for oil changes, tune-ups, and a muffler replacement, and each time he's had some crazy excuse for delaying or missing the appointment. Sometimes he calls me back right away, sometimes it takes several days.... I called for a tune-up last week and he hasn't called me back yet. What should I do if he calls me back? I really need a tune-up...



Listen, friend, you're time with an escort starts when she opens the door and ends when you walk back out that door. The rest is bullshit. If the bullshit outweighs the time between the doors, then get out. It's not a complicated question, you just make it complicated.

She obviously has personal issues. But you cannot get upset if you allow the behavior to continue.  The lady has done this on more that one occasion and you have to cut ties and move on as a result.  If not, you do not get to complain.

I think you should ignore any contact she attempts to make.  And she WILL make contact again.  As soon as she is short on cash or clients.

He'll never respond to her text when she needs more money.  And no question that day is coming.

This crap isn't all that uncommon...it's how a johnnie boy deals with it.  And the OP is fairly new at this...and I'm sure hooker Sally knows it.  She had other better paying gigs and just strung ole ngocneto along, figuring that he's a good back up plan.

Crazy hookers can be a blast.

Bat Shit Crazy (BSC) like the hooker you're describing...can be dangerous.

Learn to tell the difference!

If so.....

Yeah, she maybe crazy or a substance abuser, but there is nothing that love can not cure. Her actions are screaming, "I need someone to love me for who I am." She needs love and you need someone to love. You should go with your heart and rescue her. Have you ever seen the movie "Cooler"? You are her William Macy...

armour and a shield.

He'll need that once he's on his white stallion  

LMFAO clarence!

Maybe I can shed a different light.  Yup, she'll send him out a text again and may even think of him as a back up plan.  She does know he is a newbie and she states she has time mgmt issues I think the OP said on the first date.  The guy is in the hobby for 5 months and has seen her 4 times.  I know for myself, when someone new is scheduling and texting often with me and other providers I tend to take myself out of the equation.  You guys know sometimes it's like a kid in a candy store and a man can empty his bank account fast in p4p.  I personally disengage myself, sometimes entirely from a client who's on such a spree.  I take caution because he is new and doesn't have a history I can compare him to that he can actually afford an active p4p lifestyle and doesn't have boundary crossing issues.  Yes, I know his finances and affairs are supposed to be none of my business but I don't know too many variables about him so I may start staggering out my responses to him and how he responds to me not replying back to him in seconds/hours or even days and that will help make my decision on whether I will see him again or not.  If he gets into the, "why won't she text me, why won't she talk to me, why won't she see me, questions too hardcore, that is a big red flag that he should go on my personal DNS list.

-- Modified on 2/1/2013 3:47:23 PM

Do either of you pass out during sex, does she squirt (for real), how long are your orgasms with her?

Let me explain the rules here.  You are paying a woman to provide one of the most intimate and personal acts possible (while living).  You pay, she provides.  Simple.  Are there providers who you will be attracted to? Absolutely.  Are there providers who will be attracted to hobbiests?  Same answer.

Odds of one of those happening?  Reasonable good.  Is she playing games with you?  Not in the sense that she  is aware, but for those with an inability to plan, to really set priorities, this is pretty normal.  AS others have noted, she will do this over and over and over.... the question is, are you game enough to hang in there on the off chance you will get together with her and have "great sex?"

Right now, I've 4 UTR providers who are strippers, but the provide for me (and maybe others).  Only one is dependable, the rest - a little flaky!  But they are ALL incredibly good looking, very accomodating and being with them is more like a date.  One - i offered a shopping trip to for her birthday.  I was to meet her at the mall!  She failed to show, failed to call.  about a month later, I saw her at her club, she was sitting with other dudes.... so I walked by.  She ran after me!  asked me to sit with her (was glad I did cause a bartender from another club was sitting there... she knew me, uncovered her breasts and revealed nipple piercings! A rare treat from someone I know I will never see her boobs again!).  on this occasion my stripper friend and I did no dances... after Christmas, she calls me and asks if I would come in to the club to see her.  I said yes, but could not due to other circumstances, and it was only at the very end of Jan that I managed to get in to see her.... she tells me how much she misses me, and wants to hang out at my house....  I've nothing to loose - so sure, why not!  in short, I do not put much stock in this, it will be what it is.  There are always others.

So, it just depends on your tollerance level - she will not change.

would/should address a clingy johnnie boy in a manner that isn't jerking him off (pun intended)!

I've listened to plenty of stories from gals who have clingy johnnie boys...and most are benign.  But of course there is a risk that one may become a serial stalker.  That is of course a scary situation...but I didn't get the impression the OP was getting too close that he qualified for "insane john" status.  

Seeing a gal 4 time in 5 months...BFD  If it was 4 times in a week...yep!  And demanding to know where she is on the other days of that week.

From the story the OP put out there..this is a young kid who is busy with life.  And has no real interest in being a Pro.  When she needs a few bucks...she texts/calls her prior johnnie boys for a session.  That's fine for a guy who is out playing around and knows the game, not for a newbie who is listening to her sob stories and believing any of it.

I've had a few of those hookers over the years.  My solution when the "oh woes me" story is to stick my dick in her mouth.  Works well...the session is over...and promise myself NOT to repeat.  Unless of course she is really into this type of scene  

Is the sex worth the hassle?  I can tell you, I would have moved on after the first encounter.  Hell, I would have probably written her off after the NCNS.  Yeah, I probably would have missed out on some mind blowing sex with her, but let me tell you, there are plenty of great providers who can (and have) given me great sex without all the baggage this one brings.  The whole point of this game, in my humble opinion, is to share some great times with some truly beautiful women without the drama or commitment.  Hope you and she get the help you need.

William Muthafucka Macy uses a 68 Chevy Impala and a hunting knife!

Tis true, and Prozac and Paxil really fk with an erection lol.

Fair enough as well yet...

I added in the time he stated he is spending with others as well as with her.  Sounds to me like he is looking to be a Pro right out of the gate.  Every provider is different and just with the story I read he would at the least be to clingy for me and I would start with distancing and if it continued I would have no problem asking him to find a provider that suited his needs better than I can.  However, as had happened more than once, once he's already asking the why's they don't stop so I tend to ignore.  Maybe not professional but a lot less headache and he gets the point.  I have found if you give any attention that's all one needs to keep asking more questions and seeking more attention.  Does he really need to ask if he should see her again if she contacts him?  If so the line is already blurred and he got his answer, its no and he should ignore any contact but I doubt he will. Look at all the attention he is putting on it already.  For a hobbyist it's easy to have a just walk away attitude.  A provider has got to look at any and everything because if she can't just disappear out of someones mind they can always try to rebook under a different name and its a gut wrenching feeling to have that one guy show up at your door.

Posted By: ChgoCPA

would/should address a clingy johnnie boy in a manner that isn't jerking him off (pun intended)!

I've listened to plenty of stories from gals who have clingy johnnie boys...and most are benign.  But of course there is a risk that one may become a serial stalker.  That is of course a scary situation...but I didn't get the impression the OP was getting too close that he qualified for "insane john" status.  

Seeing a gal 4 time in 5 months...BFD  If it was 4 times in a week...yep!  And demanding to know where she is on the other days of that week.

From the story the OP put out there..this is a young kid who is busy with life.  And has no real interest in being a Pro.  When she needs a few bucks...she texts/calls her prior johnnie boys for a session.  That's fine for a guy who is out playing around and knows the game, not for a newbie who is listening to her sob stories and believing any of it.

I've had a few of those hookers over the years.  My solution when the "oh woes me" story is to stick my dick in her mouth.  Works well...the session is over...and promise myself NOT to repeat.  Unless of course she is really into this type of scene  

Posted By: penny_lanel18

LMFAO clarence!

Maybe I can shed a different light.  Yup, she'll send him out a text again and may even think of him as a back up plan.  She does know he is a newbie and she states she has time mgmt issues I think the OP said on the first date.  The guy is in the hobby for 5 months and has seen her 4 times.  I know for myself, when someone new is scheduling and texting often with me and other providers I tend to take myself out of the equation.  You guys know sometimes it's like a kid in a candy store and a man can empty his bank account fast in p4p.  I personally disengage myself, sometimes entirely from a client who's on such a spree.  I take caution because he is new and doesn't have a history I can compare him to that he can actually afford an active p4p lifestyle and doesn't have boundary crossing issues.  Yes, I know his finances and affairs are supposed to be none of my business but I don't know too many variables about him so I may start staggering out my responses to him and how he responds to me not replying back to him in seconds/hours or even days and that will help make my decision on whether I will see him again or not.  If he gets into the, "why won't she text me, why won't she talk to me, why won't she see me, questions too hardcore, that is a big red flag that he should go on my personal DNS list.

-- Modified on 2/1/2013 3:47:23 PM

that you are attached in a dangerous way.

you also mentioned "The hours I've spent with her have been the happiest ... I felt we really hit it off...the actual session was one of the best times of my life."

a very fine line exists between enjoying the company of a woman and getting too close. You BETTER know where that is or else!

With mental illness comes instability...sounds like someone I know...let me guess, her provider initials are C.F, lol.

It's easy to get confused in this game.
If you find yourself worried when she doesn't respond to your text.
Or thinking of the way she sounded when you couldn't spend Valentines together..
You got a problem there.

Easy to fix.
Delete her info from your phone. If she texts you. Ask her to stop.(It's okay to be nice about it too)
Then go see a bunch of different girls.
Don't see the same girl twice for a while.

You don't need help. Your not a fucking moron.
Just confused. It is not uncommon.

Ask her to marry you.

no one can answer your question but you.  Also try using the search function to read the many, many threads on "I've fallen for a provider and I can't get up."  This happens all the time.

The pros - she let me in, paid no attention at all to the clock, engaged and opened up with me in a way no provider has before or since.

The cons - she was always late, communication was hit and miss, her personal life seemed like more than a bit of a mess. We would confirm dates and then I would show up and be waiting for a reply at the last minute, one time she had forgotten to get condoms, etc. That was okay so long as she showed up, even if it was late, because once we were together it was good and she was just as flahy about the ending time as the starting time (I still recall a one hour date that went almost 3 hours and then she was very reluctant to take more money, I had to force it on her) but when she would respond to me at the last minute to say she could not make it, I lost patience.

Did I fall for her? Sure, to a degree. She was great to be with. Would I react the same way now that I did then? Probably not. To start, I do not have a lot of tolerance for flakes these days, so there is a good chance I would never have seen her at all. But if I had seen her, I would not have gotten so upset by the flakiness, and I probably would not have cut her off as I did.

It was hard for me to learn that her flakiness has nothing at all to do with me, so there was no reason to get upset. As others have said, if you enjoy the time you spend with her, all you need to do is try to find a way to see her without too much drama or chaos. If that is not possible, if you never know whether or not she is going to show up as promised, then there is no way it would work for me.

If you want to see her, stay in touch. But keep in mind that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, so if she has gone NCNS on you once, she will do it again. That is what you are signing on for.

zig

-- Modified on 2/1/2013 4:55:05 PM

No, Mr. F, my mechanic is actually triplets...

He is the problem.. Not her. We expect providers to be flaky. If he wants to cut ties with her that's fine. But the next provider he chooses, he is likely to have the same problems, unless he changes how is is approaching  pay for play...

.....she has changed or delayed sessions, OK, but while this may be unprofessional it happens every day. WTF, she has not asked for money and he says he has had the time of his life.  Part of the problem is posters who don't even understand the basic dynamics of what happens in a session, which the OP indicates are outstanding.  Is she flaky, maybe, is he a love sick moron, much more likely and here is the problem in judging her based on his lovesick post.  But go ahead swings, being judgmental is your specialty.  

I wonder how the OP feels reading reviews of his ATF. For example, the last time I saw my ATF she suggested I see her next month. I kind of just said umm, so she probably knew I wasn't up for it. Now I feel like I should be more "loyal" and see her more often instead of a few times a year sometimes a couple of times.

And then you read all the other guy's reviews. How the same is lady is everyone's ATF. And then you have the reviews where the guy says they know your ATF real well, and are friends and see each other after hours as friends etc. How she is the hottest thing and the best provider in the city etc. And it's repeated over and over for the 80 reviews or so of your ATF and your review only counts as one maybe years ago. Since TER won't let you have more than one review per provider.

So the maybe the OP should have a broader perspective. Maybe she's delaying because she's actually juggling other appointments with other guys who she is also an ATF. Anyways my ATF rarely has scheduling problems, and is very professional in the aspect of setting up the appointment and follow up. But then again every client experiences the same great no-hassle service so it counts in her favor as an ATF of everyone else.

and that is your problem. You are newbie and you have seen only one provider in 5 months. What does that tell. Bet, you told the provider you are seeing same thing to make her feel special.

Just one question. What the fuck is wrong with you? Go see few more providers, I mean different and your problem will either vanish like early morning fog, if it doesn’t you need to get your fucking head examined or get out of the P4P hobby.

Only you can answer where your threshold is.

how about ignoring the texts and move on?

this just business after all