when the divorce papers showed up!

(ba-doom)

My second wife was also a provider previously, that's how I met her.  I'm so lucky to have her.  She thinks it's great I hobby.

So I just recently discovered my wife is a provider. Should I start having my own fun? Providers do you all have significant others and if so how do they handle or deal with it?

This sounds like a troll post.

Its not a troll post but lets just say I was suspicious and spent a good amount of time searching and finally found her ads. We have had a heart to heart and she says the its not about the sex and its business only. That she doesn't feel like I should go out and do anything becasue I would be doing it for the sex where as she's doing it to help support us. I guess ot would be different if I'd known coming into the relationship but I didn't so im struggling to accept it I guess.

I know your wife well. If you're not already having fun OTC, then I suggest you start paying her. She ROCKS!!! (and loves anal)

Glad you knew so much about someone like this and then married her  LOL

Haha

Most important thing is to be there to support her mentally emotionally, and physically. Don't resent her for stepping up and doing what she has to do to keep the finances up. Having your own fun would depend on your relationship and how open she will allow it to be. Most ladies I know, myself included, encourage our SO's to be open and enjoy sex with others because we do enjoy the sex we have for work. BUT a lot of other factors go into that level of trust and honesty and not everyone can handle an open relationship. First things first and always is communication.

Some of us are not so sure but I think you are real.  

provided that what I need her to provide isn't sex...provisionally speaking

No fucking way is she going to let this guy know.

Just another BS post of someone hitting too much of the peace-pipe.  
Oh-please.....you're telling me you never noticed cash being deposited into your account? You never wondered...." Hmmm, we don't make a lot of money, but somehow our bills are being paid".
And who cares anyway, you're hobbying. Its ok for you to fuck around but you have a problem with her fucking around?  
Put down the hash pipe.

how horrible it would be for her to put herself through all she has to help financially support the relationship and then you start spending large amounts of money. If it truly is for more financial support, then you shouldn't really have the available funds to do this. Or, you should be giving more to your relationship so that she would be comfortable in a lower paying job.

Shitting money? Or did she claim to be working at WalMart but was never there when you were shopping there? Or were you suspicious when she didn't get a w2 or 1099 in the mail?

Tons of her johns will give her candy that she cant eat because of the eternal diet. She can just re-gift that stuff to this dude and he wont know anyway.  

How in the FUCK did you NOT know your wife was a provider? Come on, I mean really.  

In response we dont use a bank account so.. The financial part is why I haven't done anything, yes I could go find it for free but at the same time im trying not to be revengeful. Ive already told her that full disclosure and honesty is the only way to make it still work. But she claims not to enjoy the sex whatsoever,  and I feel that its BS.

3-5 times a day and does anal for extra. And he only hobbies once a week, without the upcharge of anal, she only uses one of her appointments a week to support his mongering. If she really loves him, it's not a bad trade off. IMHO LMAO

She wasnt one but something happened and I couldnt provide as much. She claimed to be doing something else and It didnt take long for me to figure it out. Im not blind or stupid. Im not here to get bashed on, im trying to talk to people who are living similar lives and get their perspective.

If the reviews here are to be believed, p4p women LOVE the sex. Most of them have 5+ orgasms per hour in a hot session so I think your girl is lying to you.  

That means they can be wives, daughters, mothers, coworkers, girl friends, friends, and any other thing a woman can be. They are human and have the same desire for and ability to love. You may be nothing but a trick, but hookers are always more than hookers and only a jaded asshat can't see that. As for me I am tge Luckiest lonely pitiful fool alive because my wife said yes.

-- Modified on 2/13/2015 3:20:02 PM

Maybe you can get airfare, airtime and few hundred for your story?

And it sounds like she isn't willing to be honest. That being the case, I don't like the chances of this marriage going well. My wife owned it and was brutally honest when the shit hit the fan and we worked it out. If ether of us had not been willing and able to be 100% upfont, willing to bend for the other, and willing to forgive our marriage would have died. Love is not enough, it takes honesty, and forgiveness to make it work. Sorry to hear your pain.

And I don't judge those who select this lifestyle.

It's just a weird thing even if she is one that she didn't share with you what she was going to do to help you out as a family...I mean she's not selling insurance, ya know?

Yes im not telling you all my personal shit, bottom line is she told me she was doing one thing I found out she was doing this instead. Now im trying to deal with it and decide what I want to do. For those of you trying to get a rise out out me just give up, its not going to happen. Especially when she's told me how many cant even make it to sex without blowing there load. For those of you that are actually part of the conversation I think shes is partially being truthful but still with holding stuff that she may feel will hurt me. Such as her enjoying the sex. Someone posted earlier that he and his wife have rules im curious what they are

Since jeep has now claimed that they don't have any bank accounts...it's all clear as mud  LOL

So she's telling you that guys are blowing their loads prematurely  LOL

Ok im not seeing the messages in any kind of order for some reason. I agree sex isnt love. Like I've said we've discussed it some but like I said she claims to not enjoy it and doesn't think I should go have sex with other people. The only reason ive thought about going this route is it is clearly just sex whereas a fwb situation is different and could cause jealousy or whatnot.

She isn't being honest. Open relationships only work with honesty. He didn't sign up for this. He has every right to bolt. Just like the wives of dishonest mongers have every right to bolt. Nothing wrong with sex work, there is something wrong with lying and cheating regardless of the reasons.

Scoed would you mind to elaborate on these rules you brought up? And to all of you that are talking about bank accounts are truly stupid. Depositing cash into a bank is a good way to get caught, and if you own everything outright you don't need one. Only bills are utilities and living expenses.

And btw, how do you know she doesn't sell insurance?

Just leave this alone now. Yowsers...

A fun one...but a troll thread nevertheless.

This is about her claiming to be a lady of the night...our day I suppose lol

Hmmmm.  If the only expenses you have are utilities and living expenses then that doesn't exactly scream out as requiring this sort of lifestyle change for extra money.  It's getting tougher to make these pieces fit into a credible scenario.  

of "fact" and I have to wonder how many providers have you interviewed? I am GUESSING that there might be a wide range of reasons that providers go into the business, and a wide range of personality types, etc.  Maybe there is a significant subset of providers who do not do it for power or emotional void, but because it's good money, flexible hours, temporary to fund career studies or to save up to go into a legit business, or because they love sex with a variety of men, etc.  

give the guy a break. She wouldn't lie about things like that!  

You might be surprised to know Stevie that many gals in this biz support their civie job with hooker money.  

Yes we own everything outright but utilities, taxes and living expenses can add up to be more than you think. And no we simply pay it all in cash. I guess this is what I get for trying to have a real conversation

What kind of power I think I have that I don't?

Albeit in my experiences that's a whole lot of hookers.

Obviously, I have no idea how the OP's wife's dates usually go.... but I can tell you that the majority of my sessions never get to FS.  French is usually all it takes.    
But that's just me; I don't know what the norm is.  

Hey..it's V-day tomorrow and the OP is lonely.

You got opinions worth nothing and lot of useless back and forth. Here is the deal, you need to figure out whatever it is on your own. Why? Because, you are the one live with the decision long term.

Actually.... it is possible she is not enjoying it at all emotionally or mentally but one cannot help physical responses.  

It's about trust.  About your wife trusting you enough to tell you about her new job so you didn't have to find out about it by accident.  And about whether you can trust your wife with anything, ever again.

Did she know you were already out having fun? Obviously you were or you wouldn't be here spouting off terms that long-time mongers use.

And barter the sessions since this loving couple has no money.

Thank you for a serious response. To be honest Idk if she can be 100% honest, I ask for it but I still feel like she's hiding stuff and I guess I need to trust my gut. Its always been right.

Not even once but it doesn't take long to figure out what these terms mean.

Everything in cash...of course.

Yes taxes for vehicles and the house. If a provider has a normal job on the side it makes since to use a bank. This profession is illegal so its best not to have a flurishing checking account. Do yourself a favor and dont get into illegal activities because you'll most likely get caught.

When you find yourself in a hole...stop digging.

If you only had a clue!

BSC=Bat Shit Crazy!!!!

that wouldn't drop her shingle if some guy could fill that emotional/power void?

Maybe she just wasn't into you?

Spooned maybe?

Considering your continued Debbie Downer posts it makes the most sense.

I would consider divorce. I am single now so it is all fun and games but if i do get married or be in a relationship the hobbying is definitely going to disappear. Did your wife come hard on you for your hobbying or it is you are more hard on her for her providing? Is it possible to both stop and have her find another job for finances?

I do understand you find it a downer to even consider the possibility there are hookers who wouldn’t just drop everything they’re doing, take down their shingle and fold-up shop, at the first sign of some guy offering to rescue them from this terrible thing you believe they hate doing.  

just sayin'

I was thinking the same thing, except I was thinking that having to fuck women he was not attracted to might put what his wife is doing into perspective, assuming of course that this is not simply a troll post.

but back to  what I was saying to begin with, i get a bit worried when we start agreeing on too many things, maybe I should rethink my position on this? lol

Let's assume all is true.  You are pulling in less dough, wife goes out to trick to make up for it and she claims it is not for the sex.   If you go and have your own fun, your wife would be prostituting herself so that you can go out and pay other ladies, after all, it is one shared pool of resources.   Does that sound to you like an intelligent proposition?

If money coming in is going right out.  

I thought he was asking if he should start having his own fun, with his own wife. You know, fucking his wife like a hooker, and not like she's his wife.