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Oh, Mom! NOT on the boards! Please?!?! eom
WickedBrut 27 Reviews 1416 reads
posted
1 / 29
What providers DON'T stock in their incall plant but SHOULD!

Intent on staying snugly inside while rolling from cowgirl to missionary, we slid off the bed, knocking over the chianti and swatting the crudités dip (garbanzo bean, cilantro and garlic I think, delicious, especially with the celery sticks) off the bedstand and all over my hair. Somehow I managed to skin my knee as well. Of course I apologized, telling her, "That's never happened to me before."

"Don't worry," she said, "It happens all the time. Lot's of guys..." She trailed off as she headed to the bathroom for some towels to mop up the mess.

The mood was gone, and my knee was beginning to smart. Little beads of blood oozed along the scrape marks. She handed me a hand towel and a roll of paper towels saying something about the new sheets being a little slicker than most. This utterance also trailed off as she grimaced at my skinned knee.

After tending to sponging up the wine and wiping up the bean dip, she led me into the shower. Again I tried to explain, "Really," I said, "I've never done that before. I guess I was caught up in the passion of the moment, and--"

"It's all right," she said cutting me off and opening a strawberry-scented shampoo, "It happens all the time." She mustered a happy-go-lucky laugh, and together we took a shower. She shampooed my hair and asked if my knee was all right.

Happens all the time? I knew these women lived dangerous lives, but if that happened all the time it's a wonder she doesn't have a broken neck.

I told her I'd be all right if after washing the scrape I could just put a bandage on it.

She told me she didn't have any, and suggested I press some toilet paper against my knee until the bleeding stopped.

As it turned out, I wound up tying some TP to the knee with the hand towel wrapped around it.

After that, I wasn't fit for anything more than lying back and letting her blow me. YMMV

But I kept thinking how odd it was that her bathroom didn't have a first-aid kit stored away under the sink or somewhere. With such possibilities likely to happen with a percentage of her clients, a supply of bandages would surely come in handy, as well might rubbing alcohol, aspirin, maybe a thermometer, and whatever a standard first-aid kit would contain.

Now, this particular provider had always seemed to be prepared for everything. She'd had the bean dip in the fridge, and the crudités laid out when I got there. She had a corkscrew in a kitchen drawer ready for the bottle of wine. I always trusted that she'd be prepared for anything, but still, no first-aid kit.

Now, a lot of providers can't even come up with a corkscrew, hence the popularity of champagne and sparkling wine in this hobby.

So, why don't providers stock first-aid kits? Or do most them?

-- Modified on 2/2/2014 6:33:38 AM

sweetnicole1 See my TER Reviews 655 reads
posted
2 / 29
lol no I dont have one either

I think she meant ppl get carried away all the time but don't usually require first aid or a nurse.

Posted By: WickedBrut
Intent on staying snugly inside while rolling from cowgirl to missionary, we slid off the bed, knocking over the chianti and swatting the crudités dip (garbanzo bean, cilantro and garlic I think, delicious, especially with the celery sticks) off the bedstand and all over my hair. Somehow I managed to skin my knee as well. Of course I apologized, telling her, That's never happened to me before."  
   
 "Don't worry," she said, "It happens all the time. Lot's of guys..." She trailed off as she headed to the bathroom for some towels to mop up the mess.  
   
 The mood was gone, and my knee was beginning to smart. Little beads of blood oozed along the scrape marks. She handed me a hand towel and a roll of paper towels saying something about the new sheets being a little slicker than most. This utterance also trailed off as she grimaced at my skinned knee.  
   
 After tending to sponging up the wine and wiping up the bean dip, she led me into the shower. Again I tried to explain, "Really," I said, "I've never done that before. I guess I was caught up in the passion of the moment, and--"  
   
 "It's all right," she said cutting me off and opening a strawberry-scented shampoo, "It happens all the time." She mustered a happy-go-lucky laugh, and together we took a shower. She shampooed my hair and asked if my knee was all right.  
   
 Happens all the time? I knew these women lived dangerous lives, but if that happened all the time it's a wonder she doesn't have a broken neck.  
   
 I told her I'd be all right if after washing the scrape I could just put a bandage on it.  
   
 She told me she didn't have any, and suggested I press some toilet paper against my knee until the bleeding stopped.  
   
 As it turned out, I wound up tying some TP to the knee with the hand towel wrapped around it.  
   
 After that, I wasn't fit for anything more than lying back and letting her blow me. YMMV  
   
 But I kept thinking how odd it was that her bathroom didn't have a first-aid kit stored away under the sink or somewhere. With such possibilities likely to happen with a percentage of her clients, a supply of bandages would surely come in handy, as well might rubbing alcohol, aspirin, maybe a thermometer, and whatever a standard first-aid kit would contain.  
   
 Now, this particular provider had always seemed to be prepared for everything. She'd had the bean dip in the fridge, and the crudités laid out when I got there. She had a corkscrew in a kitchen drawer ready for the bottle of wine. I always trusted that she'd be prepared for anything, but still, no first-aid kit.  
   
 Now, a lot of providers can't even come up with a corkscrew, hence the popularity of champagne and sparkling wine in this hobby.  
   
 So, why don't providers stock first-aid kits? Or do most them?

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 682 reads
posted
3 / 29
Maybe you're right, but...

I'd suggest getting a standard first-aid kit.

sweetnicole1 See my TER Reviews 653 reads
posted
4 / 29
Ill throw a few bandaids in my bag.

Ive never had anyone get injured in a session. lol  In 8yrsw all the craziness and hoopla I can honestly say many have fallen off the bed broken the bed (twice) fallen off the chair and so on, I have had rug burns on my knees and a few bruises the next day, been sore from the escapades  but all this time no one has ever required medical attention.

Once I threw my back out with a pinched nerve the next day after a wild and crazy night of a sex marathon with my BF but that's it.  I did have to go to the ER for that.

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 682 reads
posted
5 / 29
Re: Ill throw a few bandaids in my bag.

You see? You've been lucky so far. You sound kind of exciting.

FatElvis 23 Reviews 619 reads
posted
6 / 29
Dude...you are a VERY good writer. That story was awesome! (e)


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harborview 10 Reviews 766 reads
posted
7 / 29
I wonder how many gals would have a First Aid Kit?

Probably few at hotels.  But at a static incall...  it's very short sighted.  I did show up to Tarah's location (sadly retired now) with minor injuries & she excused herself & returned with first aid supplies.  The last one, I'd fallen on my way to her.  Didn't even tear my pants, but there was blood on my knee.  
I keep bandaids & triple antibiotic cream in my shaving kit when I travel, OTC pain meds in a small container.  All in a single zip lock bag.

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 569 reads
posted
8 / 29
Thanks! You should try the bean dip!


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Panthera12 628 reads
posted
9 / 29
Are you 10 years old?

If you are scraping your knees and falling off your bicycle, put a friggin band-aid or two in your wallet. Did you ask her to kiss it to make it feel better? It sounds like you have a serious mommy fetish going on. Don't be so helpless.

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 550 reads
posted
10 / 29
Oh, Mom! NOT on the boards! Please?!?! eom


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sensualhomme 9 Reviews 696 reads
posted
11 / 29
I've Gotten a Nasty Head Wound From a Taxi Door

Carpet burns & broken wine bottles aren't the only hazards when hobbying. The only time in my life that I’ve taken a taxi to see a provider, I slipped while getting out, and jammed my head on the top corner of the door. It scraped my temple pretty good and I was bleeding profusely. I never knew a taxi could be so dangerous! LOL Fortunately, I always carry a small first aid kit in my bag – this was one time in my life that I was really prepared. Obviously, it was a less than graceful entrance to her hotel room. It took a while, but I got the bleeding under control and placed a band-aid on my head. It turned out to be a great session. Everyone should have a first aid kit available – not just providers. It's a god idea to keep on in the car and at home. Consider taking something with you when travelling.

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 730 reads
posted
12 / 29
Carrying a kit only has to pay off once to make it worthwhile. eom



-- Modified on 2/2/2014 7:05:52 AM

mrfisher 115 Reviews 920 reads
posted
13 / 29
You make a good point....

Intense physical activity always has a chance to produce flesh wounds. (Emotional ones can be worse, but that is another kettle of fish.)

I am fortunate to have only suffered one that drew claret:

The gal and I were romping so hard that the metal box spring frame fell apart and left a jagged metal edge exposed.  After the work-out I got up and gashed my ankle against the sharp edge leading to it bleeding profusely.  Like you, I ended up bandaging it with whatever flotsam and jetsam that were available in the room.  I should have gone to the ER to get it properly stitched as it left a rather ugly scar for a couple of decades after.

Too bad there is no authority to issue medals because it would be nice display a purple heart for such incidents.

I think if we did issue such medals, I should earn the order of the massage oil bottle for all the massages I've given over the years.

Hey, this gives me an idea for a thread...

mrfisher 115 Reviews 716 reads
posted
14 / 29
I second FE's nomination....

that is one well related tale, but; bean dip during a session, a bit on the gassy side, don't you think?

And garlic is another odd choice.

I would go with a platter of cheese and fruit, with maybe a chocolate truffle or two next time.    It will make things easier on the olfactory sensors and is easier to clean up as well should the unexpected occur.

Garbanzo - isn't that one of those colleges that make it to the Sweet 16 each March?

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 838 reads
posted
15 / 29
Very nice post. Very ugly wound, sounds like.


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cashorcredit 594 reads
posted
16 / 29
bandages, rubbing alcohol, aspirin, thermometer lol

While you're at it why not just ask for Robitussin a blood pressure cuff, portable xray machine, f2 ct scanner, neosporin, and hydrogen peroxide it works really well for minor abrasions to the knee

Posted By: WickedBrut

a supply of bandages would surely come in handy, as well might rubbing alcohol, aspirin, maybe a thermometer, and whatever a standard first-aid kit would contain.  
   


-- Modified on 2/2/2014 3:12:21 AM

RRO2610 51 Reviews 584 reads
posted
17 / 29
Although I innately rebel against 'regulations'.

My regularly ascending age and descending stamina often make me think that one of those civilian 'Cardiac Defibrillators packed away in an incall closet would not be an entirely superfluous idea.  

 The disposing of a human 'body' is a VERY problematic undertaking.
          :D  
 
Posted By: harbor_view
Probably few at hotels.  But at a static incall...  it's very short sighted.  I did show up to Tarah's location (sadly retired now) with minor injuries & she excused herself & returned with first aid supplies.  The last one, I'd fallen on my way to her.  Didn't even tear my pants, but there was blood on my knee.    
 I keep bandaids & triple antibiotic cream in my shaving kit when I travel, OTC pain meds in a small container.  All in a single zip lock bag.  

mrfisher 115 Reviews 619 reads
posted
18 / 29
There's an old saw, but it's ever so true.....

You are only as interesting as your scars

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 605 reads
posted
19 / 29
Great idea! I'll check with The Mayo and put them on my list!


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AnotherDonJohn 866 reads
posted
20 / 29
Because the vast majority of johns are over 18 yo

And when they need medical attention it's for  
-heart attacks
-Viagra associated dizziness / shortness of breath  
- death
- priapism
Etc.
In other words, when older men/adults have medical problems they usually need more than a first aid kit.
Good hotels will also deliver most almost anything you want including a first aid kit.
Why not leverage that? A real first aid kit, not one of your shitty ones, will cost the lady about $50-100.
But who wants to lug shit around they won't use.
You're like the guy who requested Tobi bring a sculpture and conversation pieces to the incall.

Is this some odd kind of existential troll?  
Like a "what if" comic book.
Do you write what if thor fought the hulk?
Godzilla fought the Pacific Rim robots?  
Lol.

I bet this was just a reason to market yourself a little.
Don't worry. We all do it. Lol.

Did I answer your thought in enough disdainful detail

HooktardGold 632 reads
posted
21 / 29
Never in all my years has a client needed a fkin bandage...

What next... should we stock a damn pace maker in case you are about to drop dead? You die on me, you're going in the lake. Last I checked, providers did not get hazard pay, nor are most of us Nurses. Sure, I have CPR certification, can start an IV, draw blood, and give you a shot, but it's never come up. I have first aid kits in my HOME, not an incall that was only used a few times a month, but I suppose having a few Sponge Bob Bandages and some antibiotic cream, could not hurt for you pansies. :) You skinned your freaking knee, and that ruined the entire mood? Um, wow.  

By the way, WHO in their right mind eats fkin garlic and beans during sex, and even worse, has the shit on the night stand? I hope she had some triple power mouth wash right there too. Pick up your lip, you big baby lol. She could have broken your d(ck.  

My post is facetious, as always, but you get the point. If HER incall is that prone to accidents happening, she should find another one. Some of you have the dumbest shit happen, that I have ever heard. Here's a novel idea.. next time, let her get OFF of you before switching positions, genius... you are obviously NOT coordinated enough to try and multi task. You were not strong enough to keep her and yourself from falling? What a marshmellow bwahahaha. My fat ass has been picked up and turned upside down from guys who were not even 5 ft. 6 and you could not stop some chick from falling off the bed? LMAO!



-- Modified on 2/2/2014 1:20:43 PM

HooktardGold 437 reads
posted
22 / 29
Re: Bean dip before sex, sounds like a bad idea. Bean dip before an overnight oh my god! eom

No shit... and garlic. No wonder lol. I would never kiss that mouth, or go anywhere near that ass bwahahaha. Try chocolate covered strawberries and Champagne next time.

-- Modified on 2/2/2014 12:37:22 PM

WickedBrut 27 Reviews 463 reads
posted
23 / 29
I took my Gas-X before going in. I TRY to be prepared.


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sweetnicole1 See my TER Reviews 507 reads
posted
24 / 29
lol awesome...EOM


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harborview 10 Reviews 692 reads
posted
25 / 29
OK, this is the GD board where all the ass hats can flame & dump

crap on the rest of us.  In my case, my friggin cane slipped on an icy sidewalk.  I only had the cane because a more protective device would have been a problem her stairs.  Since it didn't tear the trousers, I had no idea I was bleeding.  Maybe SHE wanted it treated so as to protect herself or her facilities from blood stains.  
NO, I don't think your average lady would have or need a full first aid kit.  But $5 worth of bandaids would be pretty minimal.  
That was pretty rude, about dumping a guy in the lake if he died at your location.  I had a lady whose asthma acted up & I stayed until I was sure she was out of danger.  If a rescue had been required, I was prepared to open the door for them & then excuse myself.  
The difference is to know the break point.

mrfisher 115 Reviews 675 reads
posted
26 / 29
Don't forget a defilibrator too. 8o) eom


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HooktardGold 715 reads
posted
27 / 29
Re: OK, this is the GD board where all the ass hats can flame & dump

Oh stop being so serious, doofus. The lake where I used to live is far too shallow to hide your body. :)  

You slipping because of NO fault of your own because of a medical issue, is a far cry from some guy who thought he was superman and that he could manage to hold the poor hooker from falling off the bed whilst changing positions. I mean how much did this gal weigh exactly? If she was under 140, I am really laughing.

-- Modified on 2/2/2014 4:41:27 PM

LeanMute 576 reads
posted
28 / 29
Oo hede [E]


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WickedBrut 27 Reviews 336 reads
posted
29 / 29
Re: I do...

Good for you! Also, and you probably already have this with your cosmetic supplies so you don't have to worry about it, but men should have a cheap bottle of clear nail polish in their kits. That's never included in Standard kits. Important though, especially if they do any work with Exacto knives.

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