Just reading the latest thread on falling in love with a provider made me really think about my own situation. I've currently been seeing my ATF for about 9 months and I'm really starting to develop feelings for her. I'm not sure she feels the same way although she always allots extra time for me as well as provides extra services that are not on her usual menu. She's a beautiful and loving provider and always leaves me wanting more after a session. The issue is that I know that this relationship could never work in the real world. I'm married with kids and I would never leave that although I'm not happy in my current situation. So my real question to all you experience members is how do I break it off before I cause a lot of damage to my personal life. My fear is I lose my mind falling for her completely. Right now I know it's just an illusion.  My brain tells me I need to stop but my other head tells me to continue.

She will stop showing up.

... Send her a message (through her preferred channel) that simply says you're determined that it's best that you don't see providers again.  Let her know it has nothing to do with her.

(smile), the funny thing with my situation was that I really really liked this provider but that was the extent of it. We'd have good sessions but I realized it was nothing different than what she did with others (when I actually read reviews). Once she wanted a relationship it was far more troublesome and the after-effect those first few days was more potent.

Calling sends the wrong message.

I'm still recovering from a love affair with an ex provider. All I know is no one could tell me anything. When your heart's on fire smoke gets in your eyes.  

And that walking the dog is out of the question.  Not to mention that her repeated "headaches" are getting old and that you just want a BBBJCIM.

AMEN......

You are in a euphoric honeymoon phase with a provider.  It happens a lot.  Just enjoy it.  After a few more month, a year tops, she'll just be "OK", and you'll want to find new nookie to explore.

I still think I'm not completely there yet and still have some sense left. I guess I still really enjoy my time with her. My time with her has been so much better than with other providers that it makes it hard for me to leave that but I know that I must before I fall completely. I agree that I need to cut this off completely.

Like if it wasn't for that she'd run off with you in a heartbeat - oh wait - you really have no idea how SHE feels because she's a provider and she's nice to you and gives you a bit more time and service because ITS GOOD BUSINESS !!!!!
In 18 years of being in this industry I've have many delightful regulars who I've liked and respected and looked after because I'm good at my job, but never once - not even slightly - have I ever wanted a 'real' relationship with a single one of them.
Not all girls are like me I'm sure, and no doubt some who are marketing themselves will howl me down and think me cold but listen dude, do yourself a favour and accept that you're fixating on a woman who's being PAID to be all the things in a couple hours that you wish your wife was 24/7
It's fantasy. Accept or cut loose.

... to consider that the provider in question is a human being, and should be treated as such.

I'm not sure what your deal is? Either side of the coin can go MIA, at any moment, neither side owes anyone a explanation.

I appreciate the advice

I realize that it is a fantasy, a fun and enjoyable one. I know that she wouldn't run off with me and I'm not expecting that to happen.

Things don't always match up.

I was discussing a provider whom I enjoyed and seen a few times with a male friend of mine.  

You advised to keep seeing her, but stop paying her.

The words that are actually on the screen.

From what you've described, you don't need to break up with her. Just see her less often and start seeing other providers as well. Even if they aren't as entertaining as your favorite, the variety will distract you from your obsession and give you some perspective.

Do you not know how to make yourself happy?

That's easy;

It seems you've been able to manage so far and it seems you recognize the danger so I'm not sure there's an issue.  

You might consider saying something like "I've developed an affection for you that exceeds the scope of this relationship, so I need to remove myself.  Thank you for all of the great times!"   I have been on the receiving end of some version of this communication a couple of times, and it always felt natural, unconfusing, and mutually respectful.

Borderline schizo..

Thank you for your advice. I think I need to start seeing other providers again. At the beginning I was seeing others but then I stopped because she always treated so much better. I guess I need to do more than exploring.

I agree that seeing her less often would help but she sends me these sweet texts asking me to meet up so frequently. Since I'm weak I give in. I need to come up with reasons why I can't see her when she asks. I guess I could tell her I'm busy.

"Stop paying her. She will stop showing up."

If she's NOT getting paid for those visits...then maybe she has an interest in something more than hooker/john status.

If she still wants to meet up, then he can be concerned that SHE wants a relationship. Otherwise these "sweet texts" are simply another way of saying "come bring me money" and nothing more than that.

It sounds as though you have found an excellent provider who goes the extra mile for you (i.e. going over time, providing services outside her usual menu at no extra charge, etc.) because she values your repeat business. While she may genuinely like you as a person I can all but assure you that you are misconstruing her professionalism and natural loving demeanor for something....else.
Many gentlemen look for a long time before they find such a lovely ATF... remember that.  
What is this "damage" you fear you may cause to your personal life though?
My advice, provided you can proceed like a grown man and not a school boy, is to enjoy the temporary respite this provider gives you from your lackluster marriage. If you cannot proceed as such, then simply stop seeing her! There is no "breaking up" necessary!

It's simple, you drop stop calling or take a long break.  

Tell her you still would love to keep seeing her but finances are tight for you right now and you wonder if she's OK with just the joy of the "relationship."

..... told me that I need to go see other ladies, just for this reason. She did say that i should still see her but that she could tell that I need the variety to not get too attached.
She was correct.  And I am so grateful to her for her help. I still saw her for the next year and a half, in between other ladies. There was no down side to that. Hahaha.
Unfortunately, she moved to another city that I don't get to.  

Keep seeing other providers until you find 3 or 4 that you start developing similar feelings for and you'll soon realize that it's not really just that one person that's got your number and you'll not feel any need to put your real life at risk (or further risk if we're being honest).

his wife at home. In my last marriage, I trained myself to STFU and it affected every area of my life. The OP is probably in the same situation and can't see it. Since I ended that, I have been practicing being forthright in everything.  

Perhaps if you spoke about your feelings, she might be able to help you find that balance that seems to be slipping.  Deep breathe and enjoy the enhancement to your real life...sad to see your fantasy love fizzle only because you did not take control and manage it.  

If she reciprocates the same feelings.  

I'm single. No worries about cheating and other non sense.  

Simple stop calling / thinking about her !  
Move on, either give up the hobby or find yourself a new piece of trim & don't get attached. Just donate, f*ck and go back to the family...

Feelings of love towards your provider are NOT reciprocal.  As many of the providers have said here, YOU JUST STOP BOOKING.   She's not stupid and will figure it out.  If, by chance, she is in the other five percent, and professes real life love for you, then you break up just like you would with a civvie girl because its a real relationship, not a fake one.  If you don't know how to break up with a civvie girl, then just ask.  There are plenty of guys here, including me, that know how to do it gracefully.  But try not booking first and see what kind of reaction you get and you'll know if she's in the 95% or the 5%.

Who are neither normal nor adult.  

In my case they weren't paid visits but eventually there was an nominal $1000/month "maintenance"..in the beginning I thought it was beyond a provider/client situation but in reality, those two weeks of unpaid fun were the "hook" and after that, just constant reminders of how I wasn't doing things for her, and what benefit am I providing.. as someone earlier said, I ended up going back to seeing multiple providers and that helped me get my head back on straight. When she was adamant about seeing only her, definite control tactic and it allows the illusion to go on.

You may not like what you see.  Women say what they feel when it's OTC.  

Fellas, this is a smart, experienced lady talking, so I say, listen up! That said, and in response to the OP, I certainly have "feelings" for the ladies I see regularly; that's a major reason I see them regularly! At some point, I've even told several of them that I "love" them, and I do, but they know what I mean and I try to demonstrate my non-creepiness by actions.

And I explained that it's an entirely different ball of wax. I would not be the same girl during paid time than non paid time.  

You might "fuck my brains out"  

"Leave while you can".

The woman you see at the incall is usually not the same one you spend time with OTC.  I've had many OTC dates that were a huge mistake because I was expecting some of the "sweetness" I was getting during a session, but the sweetness is part of what you're paying for.  Stop paying, and you get your annoying first wife back.

... they were OTC "dates", which involved sex, right?  

That's because married guys are used to being in a relationship and committed to someone. I laughed when I read this because even my friend after his divorce was running around trying to hook up an emotional hose to every woman he dated after his wife. He fell for every one of them. One woman told him he had to see other women! He started banging her and moved into her house with in weeks. He was doing her yard work and behaving like he was married and it freaked the woman out.  

What you are talking about is what I personally consider "OTC time" IOW it's unpaid time with a person with whom you have a "business relationship" which is much different than "dating" a provider and is also different than becoming "friends" vs "being friendly" There is a HUGE difference between the various scenarios.

And the relationship is always tainted, because of how the people met, I think many ladies can get past the fact their SO is also their former trick.

I'm not wasting my time on a realtionship that isn't going anywhere or isn't going to progress.