In my experience, I find it half and half.  Either the provider insists on doing the "wipe up" to the extent that they get upset if you try to do it yourself (Picture a waiter in a restaurant freaking out if you get up and pour yourself a glass of water from the wait station.)(Most of the time it is the Asian providers who are like this, but not always.) The others leave it all to you.  Myself, I don't put much store by either way, in fact, I often arrange a pair of towels by the bed (if it is a hotel room) so that we can wipe ourselves or each other depending on each's desires.  I have also met women who do not want you to wipe them, and insist on cleaning up themselves, often in the bathroom out of sight.
It's all just part of the wonderful unfolding of the moment.

Nothing's wrong with you, I'm sure.  She just probably didn't feel the chemistry.  As you said yourself, YMMV.

It sounds like you have the type of openminded, introspective, self-improving attitude that makes you well-liked by most people.  But you can't change yourself to please everyone.  Some people will just be not that into you.  There doesn't have to be a reason.

Dr. Phil would be so proud of us...

I really wouldn't read too much into it.

It's true that I usually like to bring a warm towel back to the bed to clean someone. I find it soothing and another part of the pampering process. However, there have been some men that don't have towels handy (at their houses) or wish to towel themselves off. Perhaps, she was kind enough to offer you a towel but didn't know whether to wipe you or have you do it. I think you shouldn't worry about it. However, if you're really sensitive about it, then ask her. Although men are from Mars and women are from Venus, we sometimes need to be told what you want from us. I think it's different for women. We need to clean inside, too, and it's a little awkward for men to do this and do a proper job. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

Maybe if she thinks you are headed for the shower she thinks you don't need cleaned up?