Clinically, this process is called
dissociation - the same psychological process which
permits you to survive if you're being tortured.  

I learned how to do this when I was in my  early 20s and working as a dancer. I did feel...bad.  I felt kind of claustrophobic, or violated (even though it was consensual) when I was having sex with someone from money, for lack of better words or a better way to describe it. In time it became easier.  I actively tried to disassiosiate myself.

so it is no surprise she would come out with such a maudlin statement such as this, which is meant to shame women who perform sex work.

IME, absolute statements are rarely if ever true.

Good point MrFisher. Therapists, psychologists, massage therapists, etc. are all taught to detach from the client.

At least on the idea that this is true for every last provider.  My personal (limited) experience has been that this "hobby" has brought me into some of the most honest relationships I've had. I've made some connections and actually gotten more in touch with my "true self". I'm not going to fall for anyone here, but somehow this helps ground me and gives perspective.  This is an extreme statement, and an exaggeration, but to put it terms Farley would use if anything I was "dissociated" before I stepped into this world.

There were a lot of articles like that when our local site we shut down a few months ago. They refer to all of the ladies who posted on that site as "victims".  I mean, it was the only word they used to describe the escorts who posted on that sites. "The victims" this, and "the victims" that.  Don't LE agents and journalists just love to make us look like victims?  

My wife is a nurse. She told me that she had to learn detachment, particularly when working with AIDS patients in the ICU.  Every nurse I know laughs at the crossword puzzle clue "givers of TLC", which is supposed to be RNs.

even when i was a dancer 20 years ago, i was still just me...i never had shame of what i do or feel i had to disassociate myself from anyone

It will take a reprogramming of an old belief system in the girl, and society,
that Sex is NOT DIRTY and BAD and she is NOT going to BURN IN HELL if
she has Sex outside of marriage, or Sex for anything other than baby-making purposes.

...women who know how to take care of themselves and have no need to "Shut Down"  
because someone told them Sex is a Bad Thing to do.

To be fair...wouldn't the providers you are paying have a vested interest in keeping up the reputation that they don't feel violated at all and that they absolutely enjoy having sex with strangers? I'm not sure how much weight should be given to the responses of people that stand to benefit if they answer in a particular way. Kinda like that old saying "Don't ask the barber if you need a haircut."  

What do I think? I think this is a loaded question to ask on a forum where the people answering it can predict monetary penalty via loss of interest in the services they are selling if they answer it with the "wrong" answer. Thus, I predict nothing but "right" answers here.  

I love my work and I love (most of) my clients.

However, I'm not going off of what they tell me, necessarily. I'm basing this on reading people and instincts. Now, could I be gullible? Maybe. Maybe I've been fooled. Of course I've been fooled on other, smaller things. Of course she's always acting, I know that. I'm just not sure how well they could act themselves out of being dissociative like a torture victim and into being self actualized and happy.

Religion,  
with its' beliefs, rules, and regulations  
has done a wonderful job of Controlling Women.

I am who I am regardless of whether or not I'm with a client or a friend in my personal life.  I don't have a special personality reserved for my work which can be a good thing or bad thing.  

Which, of course is a generalization!

I do agree this probably ain't the best place to get unbiased feedback from providers. For the financial reasons as well as the fact that those who are dissociated maybe don't hang out on the boards. Maybe hobbyists can't really be unbiased about this either. But I don't see that getting the opinions of people who don't know anything about this world would be any good either. Maybe someone will post in alias, or maybe this will stimulate conversation on the PO board.

on the outside that I met as a provider.  I often tease them by calling them by their working name when I see them at work, and their real name when we get together outside.  However, there is some truth in it, because there are often subtle differences between the "working" and "real" personalities.  

Did they just study those raised in the USA, for instance, or include those in places like Holland and Germany where prostitution is legal? What about cultures where monogamy is not really the norm or is a fairly recent (say 20th century) social view?

Not that I would jump on the Farley bandwagon (don't really know anything about her or her study) but it seems either there's a disconnect here -- the more main stream therapists are distancing themselves from the client whereas the claim in the OP is the person is distancing them self from them self. That's a totally different situation.

Kind of. I see my sex work as an opportunity to preform high class sexual entertainment. It's like I'm getting paid to be  a sexual actress off camera.  

Public sector customer service can really take a toll on a persons mental health. Dealing with shitty managers or nightmare customers is just as likely to set off disassociation in people who work in non sw industries, but because 'the customer is always right!" no one really cares. Employees have to endure abuse(yes, a lot of times customers are incredibly abusive) for 10 bucks an hour or get shitcanned and a lot of them can't afford to lose their jobs or aren't able to look for employment elsewhere.  
TBH, Most of these assholes who want to "save" sex workers are entitled fuckheads who really want to punish sw's.

you have figured out this business. Congratulations!

Not everyone likes their job.  You don't have to like a job to be good at it.  If I hire a carpenter I don't worry if he feels fulfilled in his job or resents that he isn't a rocket scientist.

Dear Freya,
I can see why you would have a psychological compartmentalization when you are young because you are going into psychological uncharted territory.   During this time, you are trying to achieve and maintain a mental state that is compatible with earning money, while learning to know what you can tolerate from clients so that you can conduct your business. Also there would be the question of the reaction if someone I am close to ascertains that I am in the business and would I alienate them and lose them.  Thus there is a balance of trying to maintain a mental state that is healthy enough to function as a sex worker and having my private life continue to be separate while determining how long can I keep this close to the vest without having to forfeit close family and friends that will keep me on an even keel emotionally.
  However as you get older, you realize that your personal life becomes more important for keeping you sane. Also within that, is trying to find a friend that you can confide in and discuss things with.  That is why HIPS and other sex worker support groups art critical for sex workers to navigate the psychological, medical and emotional labyrinth that those who are in the hobby cope with on a daily basis.  Then as you get older, then you become more professional and less mechanical with an emphasis on emotional investment which in turn lends itself to good customer service and excellent chronicling of times that transpired with your alter ego.  As a professional at this point, you realize that you need to do this to retain a frequent customer base and attract desirable new customers.  Thus not only should you have an extreme proclivities for immense and diverse copulatory activities, but have an emotional and giving side as well.  Thus the aforementioned should be a model for how you can conduct your business but still survive emotionally in the business without falling into the abyss of chemical dependency and making other deleterious choices.  
  Finally from a business perspective, you will also see the rules of supply and demand. With that said, you will be able to gradually raise your donations.   Also as you change as a woman psychologically and emotionally, you will become more astute in all phases of your life, thus being able to change the professional  and social company that you engage with on a daily basis. Not only will you be able to make more per hour, you will also acquire more options which will allow you to exit the game with your physical,mental and emotional well being intact.  That is key as you move on and progress in life. In closing, at first the questions that you would have with your behavior might be an innate, natural and visceral reaction to your emotional and psychological preservation. However you will modify your behavior so that you can meet your financial needs and enjoy all of what life has to offer socially, professionally and romantically. That is one of several reasons that you can use the providers only section of the website.

this after taste of dirt, criminal smell and set up - yea.. can not imagine an dhow it is men are getting off walking  in in establishments where before then were few males  and she possible is abused by life and pimps and never have had opportunity to think about sex in different terms then "service"

I am a physician, I take care of old people.  I am very fortunate in that I run a practice with relatively few patients per doctor.  I spend a lot of time with each patient., I often get to know and work with their children. I become very attached and then my patients die.  Some become demented, some develop fatal cancer, some waste away, Some see me one day, share long stories about their kids and grandkids and great grandkids, and then I am notified of their sudden death the next day.

" It is because we can be open and loving and realistic about life and the way it works. "

Death is Natural.
Orgasm is Natural.

I've done  A lot of doubles and seen a lot of couples. I think it's pretty obvious when the woman isn't feeling comfortable.   Even when she's trying to hide it either for the sake of making money or to please the man she's with.

Maybe after they explain the concept of an alias to me they can explain the concept of accountability and tact to you? *wink wink*  

I always find it funny when people who have never done this job think they know what it's like because they talked to a handful of sex workers. LOL

I do know with most I have to let go after every date, because I know every date can be my last. The nice thing though, is many pre-book the next date right after the date... so I can look forward to it throughout the in-between.

Of course I can only speak for myself but to me the opposite is true. To be good at connecting and sharing myself and to encourage others to confidently enjoy and share themselves I feel I need to be authentic, hence, open emotionally. I could not enjoy myself in a healthy way if I did shut myself down. And I don't think I'd be as good at what I do if I did shut myself down/off in any way. But that is just me, I am an either-in-or-out type of person and others may operate differently.