Write Review
2,079,842 Total Reviews 4,349 New Reviews
10,643 Users Online

TER General Board

Not exactly!
mattradd 40 Reviews 351 reads
posted

"all a therapist really does is tell you things you already know you should do, and are just not doing them."

Actually, Freud's teachings on psychology were based on theories of motivation, not behavior. The reason why people don't do what they know to be best for them is a problem of motivation. A good therapist helps a person explore their motives; what motivates them to do what they do, whether they want to or not, and why they can't find the motivation to do what they want to do, which usually arises from conscious or unconscious conflicting motives. The major part of the work is making the unconscious conscious. Typically, young people are not too found of that process, and parents are typically not patient enough to allow that process to occur!  ;)

Robertini1808 reads

From time to time I hear from people on these boards that have a therapist or visit one.
I wonder and I know you don't have to be crazy to see a doctor. But I wonder if some do it because it's cool or because they have insurance or cash to pay it.

In my case:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pohhMx9EdNc





Related Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw

ReplyQuoteReport
prepkid364 reads

Posted By: Robertini
From time to time I hear from people on these boards that have a therapist or visit one.
I wonder and I know you don't have to be crazy to see a doctor. But I wonder if some do it because it's cool or because they have insurance or cash to pay it.

In my case:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pohhMx9EdNc





ReplyQuoteReport
CincinnatiGuy423 reads

Posted By: Robertini
From time to time I hear from people on these boards that have a therapist or visit one.
I wonder and I know you don't have to be crazy to see a doctor. But I wonder if some do it because it's cool or because they have insurance or cash to pay it.

In my case:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pohhMx9EdNc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cmjrTcYMqBM

;-)

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher445 reads

and I turned out to be very glad that they did.

He helped me immensely.

Of course mine was more like the one the Chipmunks sang about than Dr. Freud.

ReplyQuoteReport
shyguy272366 reads

There's enough evidence from research to suggest that therapy is beneficial even for those not suffering mental illnesses. Although not everyone is the same and there are varying types of therapy that are more effective than others.

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher361 reads

You don't have to be crazy to the point of being incapacitated, only unhappy about where you are in life.

It's like doing a work out for your body, only it is the mind that is being developed.

ReplyQuoteReport
Mo_Larry_Cheese380 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne350 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
Ridgetucky378 reads

I was way too involved with this lifestyle at one point.  

I was arranging "business meetings/conferences" in different cities to have dates with Providers.

I reached a point where I just had to take a break and examine if this lifestyle was mentally healthy.  My obsession with kinky sex was taking up too much time.  I would drive to work and think oh I can do this next time.....

I got a therapist and started to examine my sexual history.  I have already told this story so I won't do it again.  But one of the things I have discovered is that many of us who are active have tried to fool ourselves regarding are sexual appetites.  

My therapist has been spot on regarding Hobbyists/Providers (he has read this board many times).  

Women who have 50-100+ reviews and are receiving on average 8+ scores are NOT into this for the $$$.  You cannot score consistently like that at a job - there is something else there - what?  depends on the person.

In the end I took about a year off from the Hobby.  Therapy has helped me become comfortable with Hobbying.  I don't  do nearly as much as before and my therapist strongly advocates I stop but he has admitted I have made progress.  

Who knows maybe in 20 years I will stop:)

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne441 reads

all a therapist really does is tell you things you already know you should do, and are just not doing them. Some people just need to be told over and over again the same things, before they take action. My parents had me see one when I was in my early teens for an eating disorder and for possible depression. It didn't change anything, and each week I was on a new drug they thought would help. I found my own route to overcome my issues, and it started with not focusing on myself so much, and focusing on others who needed me more. Most depression stems from self focus, so the solution is rather easy.

ReplyQuoteReport
brstlvr363 reads

Most of us think we know what the problem is and we think we know what we need to do to fix it, but we still have the same emotional issues over and over again. Working with a professional who knows how to ask the right questions and how to help you find the answers inside yourself can be a huge help.

You might think you know how to fix yourself, but do you know what is keeping you from doing it? A good therapist can help you figure it out and provide support as you're making changes and working to keep from falling back on old habits. Once you've gotten past the point of lying to your therapist, which takes several sessions, and you start being open and honest, which requires trust, then you start seeing the positive results. Being forced to see a therapist isn't going to help anyone though. It has to be a choice you've made for yourself.

Having insurance certainly makes it easier to see a therapist, but if I didn't have insurance, I would cut out something else so I could afford the visits. Not because it's cool or trendy, but because sometimes I need to talk to someone who I won't lie to and say "I'm fine" when I'm not. Sometimes I think my therapist is the only person who ever sees me without any facade or pretense.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne397 reads

that will fix them, and a shrink can ONLY reiterate that, but they cannot FORCE you to do it. In the cases of chemical depression, might be a different story but still the same principle. People who do nothing but focus on themselves, their problems, and operate with the "poor me" syndrome, are usually the ones stuck in a depression, unless as I said, it is a chemical thing which can be treated with medication.

If therapy REALLY helps, tell me why do some have to do it for YEARS? If it was that simple, they would be done after a few months. Some people simply feel better when they can vent to someone else, so I am all for getting that help, but often times it is nothing different than talking to any human being that is willing to listen. Do you have any idea how many hookers play shrink every day? Nuff said.

Wanna lose weight? Stop eating crap and start working out. Wanna stop feeling sorry for yourself and always focusing on your problems? DECIDE to go out and focus on someone else. Wanna get out of that job you can't stand vs. always whining about it? Fkin do it! I have very little tolerance for lazy, self absorbed people, but I am all for therapy in abuse or addictive situations.

-- Modified on 12/10/2012 12:48:51 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
TheHoundOfCullin368 reads

Once upon a time.
A kid threw a big rock at a light post in the park. The rock bounced off of the light post, and smashed him right between the eyes. Knocking him out, and giving two really bad black eyes. His mom saw, didn't believe him.
Thinking he was fighting (and loosing) she sends him to a shrink.
Shrink prescribes riddlin. Riddlin makes kid feel sick, so he sells it for a profit.
If mom realized the kid was just a moron, and not a fighting maniac...
Lots of money could have been saved. And kid would not have learned to sell drugs.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne368 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
StraightCountry391 reads

And don't discount a segment of parents who push to have their kids diagnosed as ADHD in order to try for disability benefits.  A friend of mine i a school psychologist and tells stories of this happening all the time.  The parents get mad and throw stuff and threaten to sue when he won't go along with them.  It is really sad sometimes.

ReplyQuoteReport
lhooq396 reads

>> Do you have any idea how many hookers play shrink every day? Nuff said.

NO, but I'll need areceipt from you when I come and visit, hopefully my insurance will accept.

Seriously though, therapy helped me see things clearer very quickly. However, if there is no action plan that goes with it, then People start acting like victims, and it's a waste of time. Also, my therapist was outstanding.
So it worked well for me, I did it twice over the last 20 years, for about 1 year or so.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne402 reads

Like I said, I am all for therapy in the right situation, but I do think it is abused just like anything else. Tell the person they have a serious problem, and keep em coming back. In realty many times, the problem is self and not something "outside" causing them to feel so fked up. If you lose someone close to you, that is a pain you can't describe, and I do think therapy helps people heal.

ReplyQuoteReport
brstlvr323 reads

Exactly. It works when it is a choice you make to seek help. Being forced into therapy is a sure fire way to make sure it won't help. For someone struggling with emotional issues, often all they really need is to be able to talk and express their feelings without feeling the need to "edit" themselves.  You can tell your therapist things that you would never tell your best friend or SO. When someone has a problem, talking it through is often the best way to realize the solution. But there's a big difference between counseling and medication. Continuing to talk to a therapist for years because doing so helps you get things off your chest if not the same as taking medication for years and using it as an excuse for behavior.

ReplyQuoteReport
StraightCountry344 reads

I would also add that some people fail to act on what they know they should do because they lack confidence in their decision making skills.  They think if the "professional" agrees with them then it is the right action but need that reinforcement first.

Some people also use the therapist as a figure to place responsibility on if things don't work out how they desired.   Its the same principle as people who cannot be in charge of other people on a job.  They cannot be the decision maker and need someone to share the responsibility with.

With all that being said I think some people benefit greatly from therapy.  I also think a lot of people just need some tough love and a kick in the butt.

ReplyQuoteReport
mattradd352 reads

"all a therapist really does is tell you things you already know you should do, and are just not doing them."

Actually, Freud's teachings on psychology were based on theories of motivation, not behavior. The reason why people don't do what they know to be best for them is a problem of motivation. A good therapist helps a person explore their motives; what motivates them to do what they do, whether they want to or not, and why they can't find the motivation to do what they want to do, which usually arises from conscious or unconscious conflicting motives. The major part of the work is making the unconscious conscious. Typically, young people are not too found of that process, and parents are typically not patient enough to allow that process to occur!  ;)

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne382 reads

Most people in therapy are there because of self pity...don't act like you don't laugh your ass off at times at some of your own clients, because I bet you do.  Hell, we all do at times. You know damn well all someone needs is a good kick in the ass and a reality check, but you can't really tell them to stfu and stop feeling sorry for themselves can you lol.

Regardless of the mumbo jumbo shit, people are not all desperate human beings that are not in control of their own actions, but the lawyers certainly do like to run with those insanity pleas lol. If motivation is your basis, is that not what I said? Some people need a personal trainer to actually be with them to work out and a dietician to watch what goes in their mouth, in order to lose weight. Others, just fkin do it!

Many people know what they should do to change many issues, but they need someone ELSE to tell them that and motivate them. For some, motivation does not come with a tap on the head, but a fkin brick in the face. They wait til their lives and own actions cause them to lose every damn thing of value, before they wake up. Others, heed the very subtle warning signs and change instantly.

-- Modified on 12/10/2012 6:31:53 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
mattradd347 reads

I've been with my present master for over twenty years. I'm glad he's been very, very patient with me. None of your approaches would have gotten me to where I am today. Yes, there have been plenty of hard knocks, but balanced with a lot of patient, and heaven know why, respect and belief in me. I've seen him do the same with many others. The same process occurs in good therapy. So, I'm not buying what you're selling.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne341 reads

For YOU and many other people, therapy works...for others like myself, it's a waste of money and a joke. The same can be said for those who run to God or any other thing they "think" solves their damn problems. I am not debating what is right for someone ELSE, but don't sit here and try to tell me what works for me. And yes honey, Freud was a damn coke addict. Call me orally fixated if you must, but that shit is just too funny. Most shrinks are fked up beyond belief which is why they have to fix OTHER people...they can't fix themselves.

If you need a "master" or a therapist to help you get through the day, more power to ya. I, and many others don't. It is as simple as that. Do what works best for YOU, and the rest of us will do the same. I know hundreds of people who pay for therapy just to commit suicide, so don't tell me the shit is a one size fits all diagnosis.

Do your clients know that your answer to a lasting marriage is seeing hookers? Yea, I bet.


-- Modified on 12/10/2012 7:14:52 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
mattradd378 reads

I was disagreeing with a couple of your points. Yes, Freud was a coke head. So are many genius', pioneers in their field, creative types. What you erase or discount all of the good work of all these people just because they used drugs? Ya, there's plenty of fucked up therapists, but don't go to the doctor. A good portion of them use drugs also, and are funked up. But, they often are still able to help heal people!  ;)

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne375 reads

they don't really need it. I never said that ALL people in therapy are self absorbed morons, but many certainly are. And yes, I do my best work when I am fked up lol, so we agree again.

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher454 reads

I know that a lot of times therapy does not work, and that there are better and worse therapists.

That said, I think it is better to try it and see if you are unhappy about life rather than just hope everything works out later.

There's not much to lose, and a world to gain

My therapist was a practicioner of zen, though he was also grounded in many therapies.

He himself was very honest and upfront.  He told me all he was going to do was sell me bottles of water by the riverbank. (An old zen analogy)

Sometimes, you just need someone to ram the bottle down your throat.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne336 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher333 reads

let's face it, it's not always enough.

My case in point is that I was already in the hobby at the tender age of 23, but I was getting nowhere with civies and that really upset me.

I don't think I would have gotten married and had two great kids unless I found a therapist to "kick my ass" for about five years till I met my wife to be and started to really feel good about myself.

I'd compare it to the analogy of bring your car to a filling station when you need to get a ring job.  The filling station can wipe your dipstick and lube your joints, but to fix the engine, you need to bring it in to an engine expert.

ReplyQuoteReport
Bohemian_Luxury328 reads

I hear you. I don't think I would have been able to escort in a healthy manner, without going to my therapist to work out what i wanted before hand.

Posted By: mrfisher
let's face it, it's not always enough.

My case in point is that I was already in the hobby at the tender age of 23, but I was getting nowhere with civies and that really upset me.

I don't think I would have gotten married and had two great kids unless I found a therapist to "kick my ass" for about five years till I met my wife to be and started to really feel good about myself.

I'd compare it to the analogy of bring your car to a filling station when you need to get a ring job.  The filling station can wipe your dipstick and lube your joints, but to fix the engine, you need to bring it in to an engine expert.

ReplyQuoteReport
BigPeterJohnson357 reads

i would love to see a lady to role play a fantasy where she is my shrink and we get it on during a session.  

yes, i am a sick puppy, why do you ask?

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher308 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
ZenSky337 reads

I think a great therapist can do amazing things. But I also had an affair with a married marriage counselor, so YMMV.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne331 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher386 reads

If so, then she ought to be drummed out of the profession.

Otherwise, I'm fine with that.

Good marriage counselors don't care about the marriage as much as they care about the individuals, and know that some marriages are not meant to be.

ReplyQuoteReport
ZenSky456 reads

Posted By: mrfisher
If so, then she ought to be drummed out of the profession.

Otherwise, I'm fine with that.

Good marriage counselors don't care about the marriage as much as they care about the individuals, and know that some marriages are not meant to be.

I wasn't a client. She was a friend who became more than a friend for a few months. She married just out of college, before she'd opened her practice. Years later she realized how f-ed up her own marriage was but couldn't end it without hurting her practice.

Aside from the irony, I always heard she was a fantastic counselor.

ReplyQuoteReport
mrfisher387 reads

ReplyQuoteReport
skylersky1387 reads


I used to be a general manager, suppose to be at my office at least 15mins. ahead of time to ensure start of day reports are all printed & everything is ready to go, for the minute the clock strikes the start of the hour when hell is allowed to break loose & start another 9hr day of chaos....well, at this time my child was just starting to walk & I was still tryn to keep up a 2nd job & any sidework I cud come across & squeeze into my very busy single mother schedule....
Anyways, I had started pushing the limits of time, giving myself an extra minute to lie in bed, extra minute to hug my kid, etc........the next thing I realize I'm starting to be 10 even 20mins late, to everything, causing disruption in my life.
So I started to see a therapist, I had seen different therapists in the past & none of them seemed to ever help whenever I had a problem, the cheap ones offered medicine (which caused extra problems ensuring our hour wudn't be dealing with the intial problem but spent talking about the craziness I felt while on these meds that they constantly had to change) not sure why I thought this one was going to do any better......
She wasn't even ready at the top of the hour & I wud have to wait for her, so Anyways, one day I'm sitting there in the reception area 20minutes late & she comes out & tells me she is cancelling our session since I was late ( of course I still had to pay which I disputed) then says "Sorry I can't help you, we need an hour for our sessions & since you can't get here on time, there's no way to help"....
Funny cuz I thought therapists were suppose to help you when you've come to a point that you can't help yourself. I had already seen her 3times & to this day I still don't understand why she couldn't come up with any solutions or even a suggestion....
I asked her cudn't we do phone sessions ensuring that we strtd on time, there was really no reason for me to sit there in person & waste my gas & time driving there....Of course that was a no.
I dnt even understand her not going the extra mile & at least attempt to try something, like telling me my appt. is 8:30am instead of 9am (I wud have gotten there in time).
At the time I didn't even realize why I had started being late (& that's number 1 in fixin a problem after u realize you have one)... & in 3 sessions she hadn't even given me any homework or quizes to help me understand myself to figure it out, whereas my problem only got worse and worse.....
And funny up until the moment I started writing this, I didn't even realize what had brought me to the point that I continue to wait until the last moment.....funny that just talking about it, writing, just opening up about it really can make a difference....
I hope you found my story funny & it added a laugh to your day.......
Have a happy holiday everyone....

Posted By: Robertini
From time to time I hear from people on these boards that have a therapist or visit one.
I wonder and I know you don't have to be crazy to see a doctor.I wonder if some do it because it's cool or because they have insurance or cash to pay it.

In my case:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZMmV6xXYFw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pohhMx9EdNc





ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!