just weirdness...

I was trying to see my ATF for the first time after a long hiatus. We emailed and had talked about doing all these fun things... However, I realized I didn't know how much donation I should bring for all these festivities. so, I try to slip the question in as discreetly as possible. Her reply was to go through a laundry list of things she was doing with her son and why she deserved more than usual. Without copying the email in, it went something like: " You know how much travel is and I have to take (son's name) to buy this and that for school and he has a birthday coming up.I can meet you after (son's name) and I get back from basketball practice then I have to start dinner...but I'll meet you after and lets say $xxxx since you want to do (language A) (language B) (language C)."

So the weirdness I'm referring to is giving me personal family details while mentioning the dirty things I wanted to do to her and business. Maybe it's time to step back from this one...

Hobbying is supposed to be fun and simple. I don't care to know about someone's personal life. My suggestion to you is to explore other providers.

When someone asks you how much you want to pay for the car you are looking at, you don't go through a laundry list of how much your bills are and give a statement of your financial condition.

She should have a rate in mind.  If she is unsure, she should offer high.  Basic negotiation.

From his post:

You said she is your ATF? Have you guys spent time talking about each others lives outside of the hobby? Was this the very first time she ever brought up her son? Some provider/client relationships could pass for real life relationships with how much information they give each other.

Was she really saying something would cost most because she had things to take care of for her son? Or was she just simply talking to you and rambling?

and her hesitation manifested itself in saying more than she should have.  If she's your ATF I think you should look past it this time.  Quoting a price on such a thing isn't easy to do smoothly, especially with a good regular.  She probably is worried she'll offend you.

..because I don't care what you label it but when you've put your cock in my vagina more than once, you're now a friend of mine. You say she is your atf, so we're all assuming you've seen her more than a handful of times before. Are you guys at that comfort level?

I think she was trying to rationalize why she was so high, and I've had to do that once when someone tried to haggle with me, but she really should have read that email again before she hit send.  

Personally, I find it completely inappropriate. She should have just given you an hourly rate rundown, and left it at that. Personal chit chat should be left for post-coital cuddling!

From your explanation it seems like she was simply explaining why she would not be able to meet until later and that she was charging $x because of your requests.  

Are you perhaps turned off because she shared too much and the illusion has been broken?  She would not have shared this info if she did not feel comfortable with you.  She also might not be willing to accomadate some of your requests if that level of comfort/intimacy was not there.  

Very well said. Why it any of that YOUR problem? Just craziness. The "fantasy" aspect is out of the relationship - I'd move on.

I thought the hobby was supposed to be a fantasy. Saying she's your ATF means to me you've seen her often, even if it's been awhile,  so I'm guessing she might have brought up her son to you before. Only you can decide what to do going forward.

Yes that's right. I blocked it out.

Im pretty sure she was really saying this is why she wants more, not just rambling. She's mentioned a son before because I knew she had one. Never before in the context of business and I never heard his name before.

"I haven't done this before, so I'm not sure what to charge.  What do you think is fair?"

And then go from there.

If she was/is your ATF do you not know what her fees were? Why even ask?

But,, you have reminded me that I should pay attention.. I have a select few clients who I feel that we have a genuine friendship with and I have shared with them.. The kids dentist appointments and the sky high cost of new tires etc, etc.. Not in an effort to get more money but just sharing and general conversation.. Thanks for reminding me that I should pay more attention as to how gentlemen may read into that...

for the most part is a good lookin gal, who can suck the chrome off a hitching ball, go longer than you, has orgasm after orgasm, smiles all the time, and only exists when you are in the room, and when you are in the room, you are the only person in her entire universe for all time!

sigh,

The best providers provide that fantasy.  The others?  Not so much.

I think it was the way the discussion went from fkin her in the ass possibly to, "I have to take Johnny to soccer practice" in the same breath lol. It would be hard not to let the very few men I see several times a month for long periods of time, know something about my life. Most of them are so close that I have even met a few of their friends, as they have mine. There are guys you meet as hobbyists who will always remain just that, and that is how they want it.

Then, there are those who will become true friends you may have forever. If I spend OTC time and I mean a lot of it, with a guy, you can bet your ass he is seeing the REAL me...sometimes, that is more than he bargained for lol. You just can't help it, when you see someone that much. I have no idea how often the OP sees his ATF because many guys simply toss that label around, but if it is just someone he sees once a month for a few hours, I agree it's way too much info. and the context she brought it up even more bizarre.



-- Modified on 12/6/2012 11:14:40 AM