Do they know about your hobby? And or do you tell your friends?

Would be a disaster financially and emotionally. I'm happily married and me and the SO still pretty active sexually. 2 or 3 times a week not bad after 14 years. But I like the hunt and meeting new people, also like to drive a Ferrari once in a while versus the dodge at home. Lol! I honestly like having the double life thing going in the real world I'm a stand up guy, family man and run the youth sports programs at my kids school it's just nice to have an escape into fantasy land every once in a while. I've got 2 buddies who know what I do ones at work and he's a hobbyist too the other friend who knows would partake if time allowed but I've got enough dirt on him so he will keep it under wraps. I think it's pretty cool to have this secret, always enjoy when your buddy's are drooling over a lady when you're out and in the back of you're mind you're like " I've had way better than that"

I stick to top tier ladies and avoid agency's and BP I bet I don't have as much to lose as some clients though. You're right though I really do have a good life I just like to indulge some fantasy from time to time. Apart from the obvious good feelings you get from a quality lady I think part of it for me is the whole other persona I invent when I go hobbying I go from me the blue collar repair man to a discreet high roller badass or at least I do in my little mind :0)

Even if I were married to a drop dead gorgeous babe or dating one, I would still fantasize of fucking other women... One lady can't encompass all the beauty in the world, no matter how gorgeous she is.  And sometimes its not about looks or elegance - its just about raw sexuality.

She was not thrilled about it, but indulged me.

Then she decided to cash out.

My current SO knows, but she's in the biz, so no big deal there.

I don't spread the new around indiscriminately of course, but a few very close people to me know.

Never get married or enter into a committed relationship. Just date for a few weeks with the understanding it is not a commitment, have  tons of "new" sex and move on to the next one.

No one is forcing you or anyone to be monogamous, however if you enter into a relationship/marriage on the premise that it is monogamous/committed and then lie and cheat...well that just makes you (collective) an ass.

Many men and women know they could not stay faithful to any one person and it's good that they know that. IMHO, they should not ever enter into anything committed and just keep having sexual encounters until they can't anymore.

If they know this and still enter into committed relationships and cheat, well then again, they are a perfect ass for not telling the other person involved what is generally going to happen(cheating) and allowing them to make a choice whether to stay and deal or leave.

So many people want their cake and eat it too and therein lies the issues we have created today regarding monogamy and relationships. Some people are built for it and others are not.

I wouldn't "hobby" (unless my wife or girlfriend was a provider and/or it was an open marriage.)

I don't tell my friends.

I've always want to tell a good friend and always wonder who in my circle of friends also do this.  I'll never tell anyone period lol

And of course a few providers I have dated in the past...

Because I know I will come back to you girls for sex, and its not fair to the other person. Marriage is very unrealistic, but sadly society has its own norms, and open marriages are very rare.

Within the societal norm. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with not getting married and just having sex with many, many ladies.

Question is, how upfront are you when you meet someone? Do you  tell her that this is just sex and that there is no chance of anything permanent or do you "act" like there might be more to it in order to get sex?

P4P is a completely different animal...we know why you're here and have no illusions otherwise, civvie ladies, not so much, unless of course you (collective) are honest.

No, she does not know.  My initial intention was to try out one lady and quit.  However, the rush of hobbying is too addictive.  I realize that I probably cannot stop.

yes she knows.

Ain't nobody's business but my own.....and my special friends.

Wife: NO
Girl Friend: NO
Friends with benefits: NO
Friends: NO
Friends from TER: yes.  They are the only ones except for some providers and old friends who were once providers.

There are many of us with long, loving stable and happy marriages within which, for whatever reason ( frequently medical related), sex is no longer a part of the relationship.
For us, yes it is cheating and being unfaithful, but it is an outlet for the one missing piece, without endangering the rest. An affair with its emotional baggage would not work, nor would random civie sex. P4P - the perfect solution, although it forces us to rationalize and grapple with many issues.

Girlfriend does not need to know.

I have several friends whose wives really "should" know -- all the evidence is there, but the wives, consciously or subconsciously, choose not to see it.

I think it's more common when there is a 'legit' reason the wife can't perform - medical issues, for example.  Or I have a friend whose wife was kidnapped and raped; I think she just appreciates that he's there for her emotionally, and she's willing to look the other way when he gets his needs met.  It's their own version of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."


-- Modified on 2/15/2013 1:57:36 PM

you would not be here? I do understand this concept, however I was commenting on the inability to be monogamous because of the desire to have sex with random women and not stay with one.