How would you rate the most recent performance from your wife or S.O.?

I just had that idea after my recent sexercise with my SO. Lets analyze it. LFK, average BBBJ no CIM, nice mish and doggy, no greek, no second cup offered. On the good side it was free and she stayed in my bed afterwards.

Looks: 8, Performance: 7 (LOL)

I am widowed and only date in the hobby.
So, Sassy Celina in Atlanta on Saturday was an angel.
Next stop the Hoosier state.
Get some corn fed beauties there.

So I can hobby all day (and night), come home drunk as a pig and not have to worry about seeing my brains in my hands.  Plus, when I roll over in the morning and want to go, my strong hand is always ready.

So I can hobby all day (and night), come home drunk as a pig and not have to worry about seeing my brains in my hands.  Plus, when I roll over in the morning and want to go, my strong hand is always ready.

well, its so long ago I can hardly remember and certainly past the TER 3 month limit!! lol

Looks - can't fault her there, an 8 or maybe even 9 - think of Princess Diana, add 20lbs, a DD rack and 10 years. But performance - 2 No BJ  either C or BB  - certainly no DATY, Mish only - lay there and was probably thinking of her next trip to FCUK (French Connection UK for those who don't go clothes shopping - just a coincidence the name!!)LFK (assuming I didn't have a smoke in the last 24 hours)and constant clockwatching..... hell to pay if she missed her favourite soap. Doggie is for canines only and Greece is a foreign language and nothing else. Lucky to get a single cup on birthdays and Christmas these days. Any wonder I hobby?

Lets see if I can remember back that far....

Looks 5 (Average)
Performance 4 (She just laid there).  Is that better than a 2 (I should have stayed home, hey I am home....)

DFK, no BJ, average HJ, only mish, pitch dark room (says she looks fat...duh), one pop, on the plus side though uncovered FS

Now I know why I hobby.

Well my wife doesn't do any kind of bj, probably partly because of her own feelings and partly because of some religious fears that are part of her.  Sometimes a little kissing down there.  Usually wants it in mish but sometimes she'll allow doggy.  Last time straight mish.  Enjoyable and okay considering that she is an amateur.  It was free and fun.
Looks 7.  Performance 6.

Review: My Wife

Services Offered: Very few, if any
Massage: Never
Cum in Mouth: You’re kidding, right?
Sex: Only if she really wants something
Lick Pussy: Yea, right
Blow Job: If I am very lucky and then no CIM
Anal: Hahahahaha!!
Touch Pussy:  Only if she’s asleep
No-Rush Session: Yes, only if under 2 minutes
Kiss: Only if she wants something
Multiple Pops: Not in my lifetime!


The General Details:
The years have been less than kind to her. Her once firm "killer B" breasts are now sagging, her once lithe and supple body is still carrying quite a bit of “after-baby-fat” despite it being more than 12 years ago, her long, flowing auburn hair is now short and gray and her cute little button ass,...well, let’s just say that there is a hell of a lot more of it than there ever was before.

Came home from the salt mines, ate dinner and then briefly watched some TV before she indicated it was bedtime. I went into the bedroom where I saw that she had changed into her....(Caution: only the brave can read further...)


The Juicy Details:
...long flannel nightgown with white socks on her feet. She had already taken all of the money out of my wallet and indicated that she needed much more. With the formalities out of the way,  I disrobed and jumped into bed nuzzling her neck to which she said, “I guess you want some tonight?” I answered affirmatively to which she started to whine and commenced a lazy, dry HJ. I attempted to find my way through her unshaven, hairy puss for some DATY to which she said, “Don’t lift the covers, it is too cold out there.” She then stayed with her HJ for a few minutes before deciding I was hard enough to start with some "let me just lay there" mish. I wanted some doggie and tried to roll her over but she wouldn’t have any of it, saying, “Oh no way, you are  not getting kinky on me tonight!” So, I decided to stay with mish and was able to pop before she said “Aren’t you done yet?” I try desperately not to repeat, but I just can’t help myself!!

what SCORES would you give her? :P

"...but I just can't help myself".  Talk about the power of an ATF! :P

Dang, Sparky...I hope you like Jon Stewart.  I would say it sounds like you might be better off with San Diego's finest, Lusty Laurie, except you seem to already be in jail.  I feel your pain, buddy.

I mean, isn't there a three month limit to posting reviews?

-- Modified on 3/23/2004 12:02:46 PM

Looks 7, body 8+ performance 8-9ish

couple of positions, 4 pops for her, 1 for me, lots of intense groping and kissing- definately my ATF!

If only she could massage and add some extras...

The end of spontaneous sex and the end of what had always been a great sex life for the previous ten years.  A year later we were barely having sex, and four years later were divorced.

Message to all women:  Unless you want to end up alone, except for your cat or small yappy dog, don't ever wear flannel and socks to bed.  If you're cold, buy a down comforter, or better yet, generate some heat with your husband.  Also, ladies, if you don't like sex, don't get married.  You no longer need a man for support, so why go out of your way to find and marry one, only to make him miserable for life by denying him the thing he wants most and thought he was getting when he got married- you!.

Sorry to read your tale of woe, Sparker, but it was pretty damn funny.

-- Modified on 3/23/2004 1:59:30 PM

improvise, adapt, overcome.

My mother was wearing Lanz nightgowns from the time she was about six years old until the day she died, and she had four kids and had a pretty torrid relationship with my father.  If you kiss someone right, the gown will eventually come off if they want it to.

As for going off the pill, vasectomy, anyone?  Rhythm method?  Blowjobs?

I am sure that you had more going on than this that led you to your statements, but what you put out there was not sufficient.  

-- Modified on 3/23/2004 2:09:02 PM

you know when I was in college, my then SO and I used to laugh about how charged up I got when she was in her lanz...

But she loved to suck the salami, so I guess it was natural for me to get excited abvout anything that got us closer to bed...

A really don't have an excuse for doing this.

What can I say?

I like to fool around.

Don't shoot me here guys but my wife rates high in performance.  DFK, BBBJ, MISH, doggy, greek, russian, you name it. She's a nympho. A BBW but pretty cute to look at.

At the guys into this and have SO's in the 7-9 range of looks and performance.  Guys like me would kill (not literally) to be in your shoes.

Wife.. Looks 8  ... Performance I would say a 10, because there are absolutely no rules and no restrictions or limits. Best of al no fears about unprotected sex, so no condoms.  Now she does not have anywhere near the polished perfomance my ATF has, but then she doesn't have the rules restrictions ETC I have to put up with when I see my ATF.

Its the rest of the time with wife that agrivates me.  If my ATF went at it with me like wife will and then I had her all to myself because she retired, then I would be a happy man. Because then I would have someone that put me in heaven and was a real pleasure to be with even out of the bed.

MY ATFs best performance was a 9 worst a 5 (rare) , only because she had to remind me of what I can't do.  and in looks about the same as wife.  But a Far better personality.

Am I doing this because my wife became a fat ugly cow with no sex drive? No actually I have great sex, I just have nothing else thats good with her. I have beeter conversations with my ATF off the clock then I have with any woman I ever knew. And thats part of what draws me to her.

Hey we all have our dreams...... Thats mine.

-- Modified on 3/25/2004 12:21:40 PM

-- Modified on 3/25/2004 12:28:59 PM

-- Modified on 3/25/2004 12:29:43 PM

Yes, this will sound ironic if not just plain illogical but that is one line I will not cross.  Ever since we met, I have refused, even in my mind, to compare my SO's performance with a provider, past girlfriend or wet dream (I will admit to seeing providers because there's no action on the home front but that's as far as I will go).  I guess it's my way of hoping that I'll get one of the less toasty ante-rooms in Hell for having at least some principle, however misguided.

looks: 6, performance: 8.  DFK, massage, BBBJ, BBFS CIP (cum in pussy).  Overall very nice, mutual orgasm.