Here is my story on how right you are about a provider is in it for the money only, no matter on what lies they tell you.

For example, when you gave her money. Why not say it's an advance against X number of hours in the future. I realize it sounds like your arrangements with her were very casual at times, but it also sounds like the casualness worked against you.

Agency.
Her problem.  
Low self esteem.  

Thank you GG you know how to make a guy feel good about him self. Kick a guy when he is down why don't you. Yes I am a nobody and  proud of it.

-- Modified on 3/1/2016 10:20:15 PM

I did discuss this with her at the time, she had no problem with it. Now I know how much of problem she did have with it.

-- Modified on 3/1/2016 10:02:27 PM

why the f... it is so hard for a nice guy and a  nice girl match to meet in this complicated world (or nice girl and nice girl match...hi lopaw)

Maybe I got lucky with who I met but I can tell you some providers it's not just not about money. Call me naive but I can tell you three women who I have seen multiple times who I speak to almost daily who know about my past and understand me on some emotional level. I would never lay out cash for a hotel room and these women I mention above would never ask me for cash advances. Other providers have and I have told them to lose my number. One of the three I haven't seen in five month one of the girl's I haven't seen since January and the third see's me on scholarship when need be as she knows I can't afford her fee but likes me on some level. First date she took me to dinner after and just listened to how I was fired again living in my sister's basement while my life was crumbling around me. At this point I will mention the I need therapy line has been given to me 50 times by other posters on this board however I'm now in a good place and happy. I have my days just like everyone else and I feel I can relate to anyone. I was honest with her and she had all the same issues I had about a year prior so she is like an adviser to me. The relationship is very strong. We have seen each other a handful of times never for a fee more than I can afford which is multiple hundred's less than everyone else. Discounts are few and far between but when a connection is made anything is possible. None of these amazing women are reviewed but they are all special.  

...but you may want to take a step back before saying that all providers are in it ONLY for the money. It's a very cynical view, and probably not one you'd benefit from carrying forward into every provider encounter you experience in the hobby.
It's true that every one of them is definitely in it for money, but my experience has been that a vast majority are in it for the sex - for some, more than the money. Or maybe something else, more than the sex.

Agency is not the problem.  

im donald frakkin trump compared to this guy

...to her by giving her an advance and paying for her hotel but she was generous with her time as well by giving you overnights.

You must be really proud of yourself mocking another man with low self esteem issues?
I guess you really need attention again.

Great answer!!!

It's a small step, but I would change your username.
You have to change your mind set and value yourself more.
We all had good and bad experiences in this hobby.
Just learn from it and get stronger mentally.
 

It's too bad we don't all come with a window sticker listing all of our standard equipment and options like a car does...we have to figure it all out as we go and humans have notoriously bad instincts...

That's not what's for sale. At best, you can buy affectionate physical contact and a bit of mothering in hourly increments. Escorts don't have to pass any qualification exam to hang out a shingle and it's no surprise that SOME of them behave like weasels (or like lawyers, like plumbers, or like anyone else selling something!) when they encounter a mark.

Opposites attract each other. Sad

You told him the truth. He did not like it, but in the long run he will be a better person for it.

Over the course of my time in life period I have found a couple of truths. Before I get to them, I will say this. I'm not going to harp on the low self esteem thing, everybody has problems, some mask them and some face them head on, find help, whether professional or just a good friend to talk to and lean on.  

Why don't you just dig your hole now. Pick yourself up and find the positive things about your life and move forward.  

supplement their living.   Let's take this out of P4P.   Let's say you are dating a wonderful woman, you are having great sex but you have established a routine in which you frequently take her out to nice dinners, maybe a movie, a show, a concert.     Then after a few months, all you want to do is show up and have sex, and if you take her to dinner, you take her to Chipotle.    All of a sudden, the lady does not want to hang out with you.   Would you find that surprising?    I wouldn't.     To make the analogy work, you would not even need the shows and nice dinners, let's call those things "attention," something you used to give and then you stopped, it could be measured simply in time spent with her doing things other than sex.   Anyway, you stop and that will dry up that vagina fast.

You had an unrealistic expectation and you actually were not treated all that badly.
As a result you are now generalizing about all the women in this business.  Some really are like that but not all.  It's too bad your need to feel better about it is to smear those of us who don't abuse our clients.
I'm sorry about your low self image and hope you do something about it, such as seeing a shrink.  There are some people who can smell desperation and/or weakness and take advantage of it.
Until you cure your self image problem you should take care not to get into any kind of relationship with anyone, especially a hooker.

He does need to improve his self esteem before getting into another relationship!

She is one of three provider I been with on a regular basis over the past year.

you're right zak,

I am well aware of this. It is nice when I can get my self esteem stroked every now and then. It goes a long way to raise it up.

-- Modified on 3/2/2016 12:25:50 PM

I read your story, and it took me by surprise that you would talk down about providers, when you know 100% the reason we are in this business is because:  

If they ask to see you and you explain you don't have the resources they will break bad and have a hissy fit.  

More like 99%.  But thanks and congrats.
PS: There really is no need to reply to this, so please try your best not to.

I had a similar experience... I started believing she was seeing me because she was into me, that we had something real...I started making plans, and promises I could not keep...but every time we got together she still wanted that envelope...that did not make her a bad person, it made me a fool...needless to say it did not end well...

that you asked for a discount as a way to 'test' her... as a *friend* and not as a provider.  

SIGH. If you think it's about friendship or "emotional connection" then simply tell her you ran out of money but like her so much you still want to have sex for free. Tell us how that goes. It IS about the money when you see hookers.

Are you for real?

eofm

No hooker is EVER a true friend as long as she is charging you for sex. A true fuck buddy type friend gives it for free. An acquaintance charges you. It no different than your auto mechanic that services your car or your tailor.

Hooker 101:  
Never loan money and expect it to be returned.  She hit you up for an advance and then disappeared.  But you went back, thinking that the leopard had changed her spots.  
You paid for her room, 4 nights in advance.  Mistake.  If you wanted to see her, work a deal:  one night, one appointment.  And the room in registered in her name.  You want to see her again:  same deal.  She can walk any time, but you've got to stick up for yourself.  

Did you say "test her"??????????

I think you've got this poor schnook pegged.  He's one of those guys who just doesn't get it in terms of the emotional part of this hobby.  I actually feel sorry for him because I think he'll keep doing it over and over again, expecting a different result; the definition of insanity.
I just didn't have the heart to dump on him.  You managed to set him straight without being mean about it, so props 2 U.

I feel bad for any guys who have been taken advantage of by unscrupulous providers. Trust me we're not all like that.
That being said though if you had to see a lawyer regularly for a year and got really friendly with them would you then turn around and ask for discounts on future work he had to do for you? Or would you accept that you could be friends with this person whilst still understanding that business is business and his work is how he pays his bills, puts his kids through school etc?  
It was probably too nice of you to shout this girl a hotel for 4 nights - I'd never ask a client for money other than that which I was earning. I'm not in this work to get or give free sex - I can get that any night of the week hanging around a bar. I'm providing a service that includes sex, companionship, some level of intimacy, laughs hopefully, a connection, comfort and touch. I'm not doing it for free though - the bottom line is that this is my chosen profession, I'm really good at it, regular clients like me and I like them, but if someone wants to read too much into that relationship and feel like I 'owe' them more because we're friendly or thinks I'm lying about how much I like them to get money from them, then that's the day we'd have to part company.
If you're looking for love, or validation or for someone just to fill a gaping hole in your soul then my thoughts are that hobbying isn't really for you.

I feel badly for his confusion and unhappiness, but I do think it's self-perpetuating. And I feel that his anger toward her is misplaced. Not that she's an angel, but from what he's said, I see no malicious intentions on her part whatsoever. She did take advantage (a little... I've known girls who'd do far worse), but he literally asked for it.

...she took what he GAVE her...why wouldn't she?

"No hooker (lawyer, plumber, accountant, electrician, barber) is EVER a true friend as long as she is charging you for sex (service)."

i didn't say money wasn't a factor,  what i did say (albeit with a typo) is that it's not ALL about the benjamins.

It's not unusual for a hooker to that for a regular. My butcher used to give free meat and other deli items to long time customers who had surgery and were recovering. Contractors sometimes do free minor repairs for long time customers.  

When I became true friends with my lawyer we stopped charging each other for whatever work we would do for each other.  

I give more of my time away for free than I get paid for that's a fact.  Do I give away free hummers NO I don't.  But,  when you tally up the countless hours that I put into  emails,  texts and phone calls with my regulars that most certainly are my friends it's goes way beyond what most probably do.  So,  don't generalize.  I actually like the men I spend time with.  A couple of them I could take or leave but hey,  I am human.  Some people do take advantage of my kindness and get 86'd from the menu.  That's their handicap though, not mine.  Part of this is about money.  But,  it's not all about the money.  As of late especially some of this is quite personal.  For YOU this is all about the money.

Well most of it. Anytime any gent in any world treats a lady to the best and then expects over time for her to stay turned on by anything but? Nope. Pussy dries up real quick lol.  

I've been in a similar situation , I met a guy at the strip club and he become a regular he would come at least 1 or twice a week . We exchanged numbers I texted and talked to him on regular basis sent him photos ect came I met with him for lunch things like that . ( which is something I do not do with just everybody! he was SPECIAL to me ) He would deposit money into my account helping me out with things whenever I asked I did genuinely like the guy . But I feel you should never EXPECT anything in return , (*** unless it was something agreed upon from the start ) .  Otherwise was it really you helping out or a way of having some kind of control/power over her .  

No it is not all about the money for me. Its about how I am treated, if she wants to treat me more like a money tree then a friend. Then I don't want anything to do with her. I have no problem paying for my time with somebody. But when she started to call me friend and how much she likes to be with me. I was hoping it was true. Now I know her true colors on she truly felt about me.

It my fault I was taken advantage of. I do agree with that I am nice guy who likes to help out other people.

I agree with you 100% You worded it better then what I could of done.

First, you put up a post in which you dismiss all providers as dishonest schemers and relate your sad tale of woe...2which of course gets a strong reaction from the masses...

Yes in hindsight I should of keep my mouth shut. But I was feeling a little down last night and wanted to talk to somebody about this, so I thought this was a good place to do it. My bad I wont be doing that again. I do fell better today because I was able to get it off the chest and get other people input which help me out.

If she knew that he was hoping for more, and had no intention of delivering... then, she did take advantage of him by accepting his favors.  

...and acknowledge that she may very well have taken advantage of him to some unknown degree...

As you said, she can't be faulted too much for accepting what he gave her. It sounds like she treated him well as a client...until he decided to 'test' her 'friendship'.  

My opinion of the nearly all the providers I have been with is that yes, they do it for the money, but they seem to be horny women who really enjoy sex. Seems to be a perfect career choice for them (or at least a way to make some fast money which can turn into a career choice it the money is good enough).

It's about someone's character. You were used. If a girl asks you for money, but then gets upset when you ask for something, I think that's a little odd. Not much of a give and take, is it?

It's really a matter of you wording it so badly and coming off as so butt hurt that she "doesn't love you"

That's barter, or an agreement between friends, if you will... not a freebie. It's still a type of business arrangement. You're still 'charging' one another.  

I totally agree with you. You did nail it

I did not, could not, would not, ever fall IN Love with a person that I am paying to have sex with.....