I know most guys have no regrets about The Hobby, but have you considered the guilt it may bring if you go back to dating outside The Hobby?  Even if you don't have guilt, you have to live with a secret or a lie.  Any experiences or advice would be helpful.  Thanks

Do you think there's something morally wrong with having consensual sex with prostitutes?  I don't.  Please take your confused morality elsewhere.

I will admit that being in p4p for a while has made me even less inclined to get back into civvie dating. Aside from it not fitting my life right now for many reasons, I know from decades of civvie dating that there is a LOT of effort, time and money invested into dating and, so far, things haven't panned out the way I want them to.

I know a lot of the guys here privately, and I can't imaging a single one of them wanting to "go back" to civvie dating.  Unless their hobby fund runs dry, what would be the point in going "backwards."

I'm actually dating two providers I'm seeing.

Personally....I don't know how I could go back to dating after being with beautiful, uninhibited women who aren't nagging me about how long it took me to go to the store! If I had found this before my ex wife....the other 50% of my life thus far would be as memorable as the 1st half was! But on the very rare chance I met a woman who actually interested me, I wouldn't feel any guilt. There's nothing to feel guilty about. I'm single....so I'm not cheating.  
This is just the purest way of cutting through the bullshit. This is no different than if you were freely dating in between relationships. Except there are no " bad dates". Unless you forget that ladies should always be shown respect... then it could get ugly!

There's no difference I can find. Both types are looking for someone special and need money. Who really knows if a non provider hasn't offered herself for sex for money?

And if I do go on a civie date, I fess up. If the civie chick is cool with this lifestyle, we might be a match. If she has issues with it, well, NEXT.

Sure, there are things we must keep hidden and occasionally some shit happens, but anything worthwhile requires sacrifice.  

It's a pragmatic way of life. I understand having a code word for an illegal or to some immoral  activity.

I like having sex with pretty girls, and this is a consensual way for me to skip all the dating BS and get what I want. In my case, I can have sex with much hotter girls than I could pick up personally in my circles, so I feel anything but guilt. I feel gratitude LOL. I feel freedom to choose and play with whom ever I like.  

If I cherished morality I wouldn't be on this site.  My concern is not for me but how a civvie girlfriend would react if they knew.  I know times have changed but I'm sure most civvie girls wouldn't like it to say the least.

Think of it this way. Let's just say it is three dates before you fuck a girl in the civilian world. In a larger city, dinner and drinks, fuel, movies, whatever, you get the picture x 3 dates. Probably about the same as a moderately priced provider. We can take this further with engagement ring, wedding costs, kids, etc., but let's keep it simple.

First off, I don't have to "go back" to dating outside P4P, I see hookers, I see non hookers and I see women somewhere in between (sugar babies) this is not an either/or decision for me, why would I want to limit myself when I can see all sorts of women?

Are you attempting project your damn guilt on others? Grow a couple of get out.

The Hobby has been a great experience but it's not feasible to do this the rest of your life.

If she can handle it, keep her.  If she can't, she will self-eliminate.  When my last serious GF asked me, I told her.  She thought it was hot.  She also respected the fact that I was honest, no only in telling her but in how and why I started in this world.

I don't see any reason at all I can't do this for the rest of MY life.

She ultimately found out and we argued.  I said I would stay home if I got what I want at home.

I don't date outside of the Hobby.

God damn Ga Gambler, didn't realise you were such a head case.  If you can't handle the topic then get the fuck out of the thread you fuck nut!

You keep giving us reasons why the rest of us can't do this, but the rest of us are just fine. You are the one all conflicted over this, so answer the question (if you can), just WHY can't I keep doing this until i drop dead someday?

It's perfect, she gets what she wants, you get what you want, both parties are happy.

You act as if I'm judging you.  You have some heavy shit on your conscience.  Everybody else is civil about this thread but you go bat shit crazy!  Your defensive hostility is a real eye opener.

Amen brother! That's exactly the way I view it as well.

and for the record, only women go Bat Shit Crazy.  

I'm a little surprised by how belligerent some of the responses are.  I faced this same question when I started dating someone.  My life is completely compartmentalized, and part of me wanted to rationalize that I did not need to disclose my "Mimi" life because it did not belong to the me that was in the relationship.  But at the point that I wanted real-life intimacy with that person, the secrets had to go.  I am not ashamed of my whoring life, but it it was equally as difficult for me to discuss the details as it was for the other person to understand.  I hope that made sense!

I think you expect honesty from that person, and you owe that person honesty in return. To expect honesty from your partner, but be unwilling to give that person the same consideration would make you a hypocrite and I think that is the conclusion you came to as well.

It's all in how you view things. Your moral center necessitated coming clean. Mine would be " some things are better left unsaid".  In my experience...when a woman you're dating wants info on your life before you met her....irs ammunition to be used at a later date. I don't want to know about her past sexual experiences. I don't want to know how she divorced Timmy cuz he didn't take the trash out on Tuesday mornings. I can't do baggage. Not here to pay the price for what some dipshit did to wrong her in the past. This hobby tends to spoil you on the caliber of woman you get to view naked. It can take a toll on your finances if you dont show some form of restraint. But these things only affect you! You didnt axe murder someone....you cut through the red tape and got down to brass tax with another consenting adult. Seriously....why should you feel guilty? Because of some antiquated puritan belief? One that's only really followed by the sex denying soccer mom wife of some poor shlub who's one bad day away from eating the barrel of a gun? You know the difference between a provider and that soccor mom? One is happy being in control of her own life.
The other needs to castrate a man in the process...

I also resent the assumption you are making for the rest of us. I saw your comments about telling, or not telling a civie girlfriend.
That's where generalization is ridiculous.
For some, keeping it a secret is the only way to get the woman they want because that woman has ego or moral reasons to not tolerate people who do this, hookers or mongers.

Well Maybe you should have told that to the dudes that keeled over  dead in a hookers bed or a hooker in their bed . So yes it is feasible.

Not going to create my own.  There are enough factors  that can set that into play beyond my control.

Pretty much the same thing I said to BSC Hookers on local board that brought some Transphobic bullshit into conversation when it clearly  wasn't  "The issue"   But theirs and theirs alone.  Yeah makes a guy hot under collar.

So, Its All Good..Just Enjoy, Happy  Memories,  and Life Goes On , Its Your , Our Bizness, Move On To The Next Chapter 💋💋👿

But no, he never said, implied or acted as if you were judging him.  
Just an FYI, if you did say, imply or act that you were judging him, he most assuredly wouldn’t give a fuck.
The question remains, why do you insist that any of “US” can’t continue doing this for the rest of “OUR” lives and be happy doing so?
I will never impose my integrity on you, nor will I accept you imposing yours on me.
You be you, let me be me.

... Is not doing something that I wish I had.

all the time, that I have no regrets about anything I did in life, but many about things I could have done, but didn't.  

Batshit crazy is a label owned by women?  WTF?  Are you still in high school?  Okay my bad, how about ape shit?  Guys like you make the forums a real turn-off, nitpicking every little detail of a post, trying to read between the lines when nothing is there.  What is your hangup about "not being feasible for the rest of your life"?  A simple question for explanation would suffice instead of going off the deep end with all guns blazing.

I am not only capable of seeing not just hookers and civvies at the same time, but I also get to see a lot of SB's to boot.

is expensive, then I would warn you off of learning to fly airplanes and/or owning race horses, based on my own experiences in hobby hell.  

Ever heard of a false dichotomy? If you feel guilty then tell it to your psychotherapist. But it is wholly false to suggest the blanket statement that hobbiests "live with a secret or lie". My advice? Get an education.

From the hobby, I've learned about women, their likes, their pet peeves, and how to really turn them on. I've learned how to worship them, make them feel great, make them cum really hard. I can take my experiences/knowledge forward.

Maybe not for you LOL. Fucking young, model hot women who are focused on pleasing me and are dressed for sex and ready when I can make time for them is not only feasible, but sustainable. I get plenty of social stimulation hanging out with my friends and have more time to pursue my own hobbies and interests. I find little pleasure in dating civvy women. I couldn’t imagine not having sex with more than one woman

...i have trouble meeting women who are completely open about oral sex as those in the hobby...

This whole thread was fascinating to read, thank you for everyone weighing in. I think if I was in the situation of dating (which I’m not) I would  want to know. And then I would ask to go on business trips with my SO to participate in the fun he may have with a hot Provider. Lol!  
This is still very much a puritan nation and a lot of thought process as well as laws are ruled in that manner. Nice to see like-minded and interesting responses. Thank you!

I might someday go back to a civvie life with a civvie job and civvie boyfriend (doubtful!)  I feel zero guilt about what I have done with my life.  I am actually quite proud of the business I have built and no issues talking about it.  
 Where is the guilt you feel coming from?  Do you feel like you are "using" gals that are providers? Do you feel guilt from a religious standpoint?  I am sure there are gals that are in this just for the quick money and do not enjoy what they are doing.  As long as you are seeing reputable providers that enjoy their job you should feel no guilt.  If it is a God thing, that is between you and him/her.    
I have a bachelor's degree and would have no problem finding a decent civvie job today, as I have had in the past. I have always wanted to have my own business and be my own boss and now I very successfully have both!    

Lion!

...but I'm thinking she might just have liked a guy in khakis.

Yes, I WAS an owner.  Still have a valid CHRB license, but don't currently own anything with four legs.  You find a trainer you can trust (needle in a haystack? - lol) then you let him suggest some claimers that might be underpriced.  You pick one or more depending on how much money you're wiling to risk (figure on $35-50,000 per for horses with decent bloodlines and prospects of winning some stakes races in the future but that don't have much of a racing record yet), go get your background check and license, and you are in the thoroughbred business.  You don't need a ranch or anyplace to keep them, at least not in California.  There is a circuit here where the trainers just keep moving the horses around to follow the various racing meets throughout the state.  Training and boarding generally runs about $4-5000 a month which you pay to your trainer and he parcels it out for the individual expenses.  Jockey fees are billed through the trainer as well.  Purse money for winning can be sent directly to you, or you can direct it to go to the trainer to offset future expenses, and maybe NOT have to write a monthly check or two.  As you immerse yourself in your hobby, you will learn more until you reach a point where you might be capable of picking your own horses to claim in the future.  

it's better than hurting someone's feelings. Cheating spouses that confess to rid themselves of guilt are losers and weak.

I'm happily married and I happily see providers on the side. I have no guilt. My wife does not know I see providers. Some may say I'm hypocrite because I'm married and not strictly monogamous.  

I guess one has to compartmentize one’s life. There is a professional life and there I a personal life. A confusion of the border can lead to dire consequences.  No one say it is easy.

spending time with beautiful women and pleasing and being pleased. What is wrong with this picture? NOTHING.

But you are OK fucking a provider knowing she is fucking other men?  But if she was "yours" she could only have sex with you?  But it is OK for you to have sex with as many women as you want?    Um, OK.  
LOL.  Interesting.  
Goodness I hope your wife is getting a lot of nice Dick on the side.  In your "monogamous" relationship.  
I fuck who I want, when I want.  Most I get $$, some I do not.  Do us all a favor and stop acting like this is 1950.  
Again:   LOL  

You damn right I act like it's 1950. You think there weren't hookers back then???? I expect women to be ok and give a pass to their man that's having a little side action respectfully but I laugh at any guy who shares  and watches their SO when in a relationship.

Yep---couldn't have said it any better---the freedom that comes with this "underground" life is priceless!! (Not to mention the other benefits LOL!!)

Amen...and hallelujah!!

WOW!! That statement about the difference between a soccer mom and a provider is powerful!! (And spot-on truth!!)

Just kidding.

To me, it sounded like he was spitting misogynistic fear and hatefulness.  I guess it really is true that you can't read tone in text!

I have been seeing providers since I was 18.  As a kid I had no game.  So I took matters in my own hands and hired a Times Square peep booth gal to "break my cherry" so to speak.  I am 49 now and only stopped seeing providers for a 1 year hiatus when I had a steady live in girlfriend who fucked like crazy, followed by 2 more years of hobbying then a 4 year hiatus when I met and wooed and eventually married my wife. So 5 years off out of 31 years of the hobby makes it 26 solid years.  I only found TER in 2012.  I was honest about my past to both my ex gf and my then future wife.  They didnt like it, but they accepted it.  I stayed faithful to the GF until she cheated on me and then broke up with me.  (I would have tried to work it out).  The wife?  I stayed faithful during our dating year and our engagement year and 2 years beyond.  When she started gradually losing interest in sex, my jonesing for pussy brought me back to seeing providers.  First, quick bjs in the back room of the local strip joint, then FS with some tired old daytime strippers (same place -- since closed and bulldozed) then BP, then finally TER.  My wife has no clue.  I don't feel guilty because if she gave it up more then I would stay home.  On the (rare) months when she does give it up more I do stay home.  I love my wife and she gives the absolutely best edging BBBJ ever when she gets around to it.  When we fuck, she is into it and multi orgasmic and we have a great time.  About once or twice a month.  Bbbjs less often.  So...  do I feel guilty?  No.  Do I want her to know? No.  
For all that, she is my best friend in the.world, always has my back, is a great mom to our kids and I just dont want to hurt her.  Except for a lack of sex and a few other little issues, I'm kinda happy with her.  I fill the void with providers and everything works out.

It's only natural for men to want have sex with multiple partners (some women too). Religious dogma says otherwise, but that's not the natural order of things.  If you're in a relationship, even a mutually loving one, you still have to face those needs. I was never one to hold back on my desires to be with other women, even when I was in a loving relationship.  Several years ago, I divorced my wife of  many years to enter into a mutually loving relationship with an escort  I had been seeing.  And yes, I felt guilty for having put my ex-wife through that, but I got over it and so eventually did my ex wife.    I'm currently seeing an escort on a regular basis who is married.  She and her husband are also swingers. No guilt in that relationship!  Each one of us have different tolerances as to how much guilt we are willing to except in our lives.   So if  you are in a relationship or want to have one and can't handle the guilt, then just  stay out of the Hobby or better yet never let yourself be in a situation where you are alone with a member of the opposite sex so you won"t be tempted.  It works for Mike Pence.   On the other hand, maybe you should follow Trumps example, a man who apparently doesn't have a guilty bone in his body who not only lives with lies but creates them on a daily basis.

The lady I originally saw way back then on my initial foray...I saw last week, for at some where in the 250th plus times.   The more things change, the more they stay the same...great back then, even better now.   I've also had/have about a dozen ladies I've seen at least a dozen times plus, several far more.   Same.  I  have no guilt whatsoever in participating in this game...for me, this is THE game.  Going back to dating in Civvie world is not something I foresee returning to anytime soon, if ever.   Why would I want to to?        

The only secret or lie I have found doesn't sit with a hobbyist (I like to call them gentlemen myself) but with the men who wish they were ...and aren't.  

When I was talking about this not being 1950, I was talking more so about the fact that yes, I do have sex with men for money (aka prostitute) but this is also my job.  This is my profession.  This is my business.  You are saying that if you are having a relationship with a prostitute that you expect her to give up her profession? She is no longer supposed to work? She is supposed to give up a very lucrative job that she may love for, well, you????
 If she worked in another line of work successfully would you say the same thing?  If she wants to give up her job that should be her own decision,  not something that is forced on her or expected.  
Your post is obviously very hypocritical, but also glaringly shows you as a very, very insecure man.  Sorry not sorry.  

LOL.  Gaga strikes (correctly!!) again!!

I really didn't interpret that statement as misogynistic---more like calling out the suburban-types who spend their whole lives chasing an image and "keeping up with the joneses" yet are deep down unhappy and chained down psychologically.  

work. Get any good dick today? Your hair is little messy, must have been a good day at work". I understand and agree that this is a lucrative business   and honest profession but I couldn't see myself in a relationship with an active provider.

I'm pretty sure that all humans are at times unhappy and chained down psychologically, no matter where we live, or what we choose to do.  The idea that those of us who choose sexwork - or choose to see sexworkers - are somehow more liberated or happy than people who choose other things... I've never seen any evidence of this.  Much of human happiness comes from doing what is right for US - whether that is whoring or house-wiving or any other thing that is true to who we are.

Nice to see someone speak so honestly and positively about their wife!!!  She is a lucky lady.