The cancellation thread made me think about a bone of contention I had with a friend,we agreed to disagree but I wonder what guys think:

Here's the situation: I meet by prebooking so if it is more then 2-3 days in advance (I've have some booked months in advance) I ask for a confirmation email the day before, on my side I pencil in the meeting with a TBC note. In my mind i have a meeting planned but i understand that real life is often playing interference and totally accept cancellation,no fee needed, if it is the day before,1h prior the meeting is different and a subject for another thread.

But when like it happened last week ,I was suppose to meet and I didn't get any kind of message even to cancel I see that as a NSNC: no show no confirmation and it means that I will refuse to meet you if you do that and write later.
 
Now my friend says that asking for a confirmation email and not specifying also I expect a cancellation email means that I do not have  a meeting booked.
That leaves me confused because in my mind once you book etiquette would ask for at least a cancellation note?.
Me ,when I ask for confirmation I imply one way or the other.
Do you see it only as a confirmation if it is a yes and no need to cancel if you do not want to go thru the meeting?  

By the way I never heard from my supposed date from last week...

NCNS to be "no call, no show" and it cuts both ways.   Many times there are pre-booking email confirmations that don't get reconfirmed, but we use this term to indicate being stood up without notice the day of the session.  

either way at least 24 hours before the date, otherwise I think cancellation fees apply to the client and perhaps some form of makeup time from the provider is fair game for the client should he re-book.

It is my way of confirming on my end. The content of that confirmation usually contains a comment like " looking forward to seeing you tomorrow. I assume we're still good to go at ?oclock "?

If I don't receive a reply I begin to work on a plan B . If I find I'm not getting any response  by the morning of, Iusually shoot out an email that says something like " if I don't hear from you by ?oclock I'll assume something has come up and you're not planning on keeping the appointment . I'll make other plans" .

I think it kinda works both ways.

I think it's good practice to have confirmation 24 hour before appointment.  If we book an appointment, we are obligated to cancel it.  If we just don't show up, i.e. NCNS, yes, a fee should apply

does not imply that "no meeting has been booked" as your friend believes.

I agree with you that once you book, a specific notice of cancellation is proper etiquette. That said, if a provider says she will call/text/email to confirm (whether it's a day ahead or that morning) I will absolutely contact her if she is late in sending that confirmation. If I don't here from her in a reasonable time, I send another message stating that "I assume something came up and our appointment is cancelled." I may even give her a window to respond (I need to here from you by noon...). Likewise, if you asked the client to confirm, and you don't here from him but you don't reach out, then you share the blame for the NCNS.  

This is all common courtesy and good business sense.

END OF MESSAGE

The employer can't NCNS the employee.

Better yet who thinks they are going to receive a cancellation fee?

A monger/hooker relationship is not an employer/employee relationship.  It's more of a client/independent contractor relationship.  The point is it relies on trust on the part of both.
I wish it were possible for someone to just stop being stupid.  Sadly, it is not.

If I NCNS a provider there ain't nothing for me to lose. Theoretically speaking.

I won't say anything unless it happens to be true, sadly for the truth, and your reality are segregated.

The post that I was replying to said that.

by NCNSing a provider especially if you make a habit of it. You can get blacklisted and other providers can refuse to see you. Once word gets out about you, you're toast.

Not to mention, who would know? Yeah once word got out.

Do you think bad clients go away?

They come back under different names.

END OF MESSAGE

you seem to have confused me with a provider.  I'm actually a hobbyist.  I don't need "good luck getting any cancellation fee from anybody."  I was encouraging fellow hobbyists to do the right thing and pay a cancellation fee.

And let me reiterate:  

"Unless a deposit is given, good luck getting any kind of cancellation fee from anybody."

This was a general opinion and was stated as an observation. Provider or hobbyist association was not a factor.

...lol, gotcha.  we agree, if deposit is not given chances are less than 100% that a cancellation fee will be tendered.  Do we agree that is Should be tendered 100% of the time?  (yes, there are exceptions: car accident, death in family...)  just trying to build consensus among hobbyists what right thing to do is

No where in the OP, did the lady say anything about collecting a cancelation fee.

Just wondering why mentioned collecting a fee.

I guess that makes two of us.

Yes of course I agree that in a perfect world a hobbyist who pulled a NCNS or a very last minute cancellation would offer up a small fee to try and make good. But the reality of this business is that few will do that. I personally have never cancelled a session or pulled a NCNS, but I have had it done to me and it sucks, especially when the perpetrator offers no explanation or even an acknowledgement. But someone knowing it is the right thing to do and having them actually do it are (sadly) miles apart.

correct

Like a stick loves a pinata.  This gif only took a minute!

Had scheduled a date at the Charlotte M&G. After agreeing on day/time, I got a couple basic vague emails, always with "more details to come" than NOTHING? Day of the M&G the Gal didn't even bother to seek me out to say hello, confirm or anything? I didn't even see her there, thought she cancelled?  
So its past midnite, we were supposed to have 8am date the next day, and i've NEVER heard from her. I send a casual text stating that I assume we will not be meeting since there was no contact at all, and I get BLASTED with a dozen texts about this and that??  
I told her it just wasn't going to work for me. Besides the horrible lack of communication, the complete lack of common courtesy to even say hello at the M&G left me completely disinterested??  
Any input or thoughts would be welcome here, my first experience of this type?? Thanks

I have paid a girl when I had to cancel.  Simply told her to fill my spot and if she couldn't I would pay her.  I took her word that the time went unfulfilled and deposited the fee in her pay pal.  Just my way of keeping the stats aligned!
BUT, I would like to stress what a hobbyist goes through in prep for side time.  Some people juggle a home, family, and business!  Each one creates many obligations.  Time is set aside meetings are moved, stories are told.  Then often flippantly " I'm so sorry I can't make it today"   Seems like the more work I put into the appointment the more likely it is to fall through.  Constant communication is key.  You can't have to much!!
STMF

simply because it is the right thing to do.  To me that means:

1) If a lady asks for a confirmation e-mail the day before the appointment, I interpret that to mean send her an e-mail the day before that makes it clear whether or not I will keep my appointment.  If I am not going to keep my appointment, then I absolutely better let her know at least the day before --- actually I always let her know as soon as I know because I think that is the right thing to do.

2) If a lady has a cancellation policy on her website, then I feel that I am responsible for adhering to her rules.  After all, I should know those rules in advance, so if I want to play, then I should respect them and play by her rules.  Admittedly, I've never paid a cancellation fee, but that is because I have never violated a cancellation policy.  If I did violate a cancellation policy, even if it was because I didn't have time to read it on the website, I would still feel obligated to pay [if I later saw the cancellation policy in writing on the website] --- simply because it is the right thing to do.

3) Over-communicate.  That goes both ways.  Things happen.  As long as a lady is sincere and keeps me informed, then I don't hold it against her.  Ironically, today I had a lady cancel on me --- which hasn't happened in a while.  I confirmed the meeting the day before.  Today she pushed the meeting back an hour (with plenty of notice).  When I was in my car driving back into the city (which I abhor), though, over an hour before the appointment she sent me a link to her website and asked me to confirm that I have read it and agree (her website indicated that I was supposed to bring an ID to the appointment --- had I read that in advance I probably would not have booked with her, but because it was late in the process I texted her back that I read her website and agreed).  

Then she sent me her hotel address.  A few minutes later she indicated that her boss was insisting that she stayed with him at a function.  That was followed by a text apologizing and indicating that she would "make this up" (whatever that means).  She seemed genuine and indicated that she might be available tomorrow morning, so I sent a request for tomorrow morning.  Quite frankly, though, even though things come up, this was beyond annoying given that I had driven 15 miles and waited in traffic for 20 minutes when I received her last minute cancellation.  But I will give her the benefit of the doubt and I am interested to see what she does.  I have reserved judgment.              

I ask for a confirmation but it would not cross my mind to be the one writing to ask if we are still good ,same feeling as writing to ask for a meeting...tacky...

And no I do not ask for cancellation fee,just a cancellation notice...