not to start another to-do - as greywolf says this has been discussed ad nauseum - but my FIRST impression of KIP's post was, here's another hobbyist who expects a provider to take legal and physical risks while all he risks is his $$$ - "i don't LIKE giving up personal info, therefore you have no right to ask for it". that's why i posted a negative reply to him.

however, upon re-reading his original message, and some of his replies on the thread, what i THINK what he was saying was that personal info is not a totally safe way for you ladies to approach verification. (i don't mean to put words in anybody's mouth) example: if i am a nice normal guy (and notice i say  IF my personal info will check out - but then, you didn't need to be protected from me in the first place, right? but if i am LE, or if i am a guy who will rob you or hurt you.... and i'm GOOD at it.... then it's easy enough for me to fake the verification.

on the other hand, if you ladies have a network and give each other references, that's pretty hard to fake - yes?

personally, i just want it all to go smoothly. i love every single one of you ladies (or i would, if i had the time and means and i want you all to be safe and happy! in fact, why don't we all just join hands right now and sing 'kumbaya"?

but the odds are better than not doing anything at all.  In a perfect world, I would like nothing better than to pick up the phone, set a date, show up with no questions asked and know in my heart that I will not be faced with LE and/or someone that may harm me.

Even among the ladies there are those that will not work with you.  Some refuse to give references (I suppose she feels threatened about business being taken away), some are to lax in their screening and/or blatantly lie about who they have seen looking out for their own self interests.  

Case in point was with a provider that did not screen, ended up in trouble and in order to help herself, began giving references to set up other independents in a sting operation.  

So, provider references must be scrutinized also.  Statistically, it is those ladies that do have stringent screening and network with other ladies with the same mindset that tend to keep out of trouble more often than not.  

The gents do not hear a lot of the horror stories that go on behind the scenes.  The rash of robberies, rapes, beatings and murder in some instances.  Statistically, the costs can be much higher for a lady than a gent.

Another case in point was a new lady on the scene that caved in to the pressure of the gents in not requiring employment information.  The first meeting she went on after complying with the gents wishes left her savagely beaten, sodomized, raped and robbed.  

No, nothing is fool proof, but the odds can be greatly improved by doing so and the cold hard fact is that with screening a lady tends to have a better chance of weeding out that less honorable gent whose sole intention is to harm her.

This will be an ongoing debate.  Both sides having valid points of view for there are the horror stories of ladies taking advantage of a gent.  It boils down to respecting a ladies needs for comfort and vise versa.  In screening, I may have turned away the most fabulous gent there is or because of it, he may have never contacted me, but I may have improved my odds also in turning away that one gent that could cost me my life one way or another in doing so.    

Lauren

Thak you for taking the time to decipher my somewhat cryptic message. Literal stumblebum that I am, my thoughts sometimes come across not as meant.

And yes, you have grasped my meaning and turned it into an easily understood message.

You said:
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"Another case in point was a new lady on the scene that caved in to the pressure of the gents in not requiring employment information.  The first meeting she went on after complying with the gents wishes left her savagely beaten, sodomized, raped and robbed."  
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How would verifying employment have stopped this?

Evidently they gave her false personal info and that passed her verification process.

Or didn't she do any verifying at all?

These are just questions and not meant to irk anyone.

is that she did not screen at all.  Just a name, number and meeting arrangements.  No verifying at all.

As I said, nothing is 100% foolproof, but how would employment information have helped in stopping this from happening?  It comes down to the caliber of gents (boy will I get flamed for this).  I am not saying that all gents that do not want to give information have a hidden agenda, but statistically, those that do are not going to be very forthcoming on giving any type of information out and look for easy targets.  It is those bad apples that ruin it for the great gents out there that do have honorable intentions, yet do not want to give their information out.  

When I first began this endeavor, I was clueless.  I answered all calls, accomodated last minute requests and answered anything and everything that was requested of me.  I was lucky in that my first encounters were with fine upstanding gents that took the time out to educate me on the protocols of this endeavor.  

At the beginning, I had a lot of less than wonderful experiences that almost made me quit right then and there.  But with the screening process in place that these gents helped me with, I can truly say that each experience that I have had since has been most enjoyable.  For one, it improves the odds greatly in that I am going to meet with a gent that is like minded in what we both are looking for, because face it, I am not going to be everyone's cup of tea, nor they mine.

Anyone can say what they want in an email, it doesn't mean anything.  If you tell me your Joe Blow and work with an investment firm, have a business trip in my area and tell me everything I want to hear...great!  Prove it!

If a gent has done his homework, he will have sufficient enough information about me to ascertain my reputation and what I am about.  He has far more to go on for me than I do on him.

I accept a ladies referral, but she has to have a good reputation herself, for there are a great number of less than stellar scam artists and garbage out there to be able to take a strange ladies word for face value also.  I do research the ladies reputation when a name is given to me.  If there isn't any information on her or her reputation is unsavory, then I reject it and ask for other means of verification.  Again, the few bad apples that ruin it for everyone.  Especially, those ladies that have been burned in this scenario.

With a gent providing information to me, it tells me that he does have my well being in mind.  That says a lot about about the type of person he is.  The information is checked very discreetly and thoroughly.  That eliminates the obvious fear or at least statistically lessens the odds.

A lady has to be on her toes to know what is going on in her environment.  I am not saying those that have screened have not gotten themselves in trouble, but the percentages are reduced tremendously.  I have found those that have taken last minute appointments statistically tend to get themselves in trouble more.  Those that do not screen statistically tend to get into trouble more.  Those that take every precaution they can statistically are less at risk than those that don't.  

Nothing said here should irk anyone.  No one can know what anything is like unless they step into ones shoes.  Gents cannot really get the full prospective on the life of an escort unless he has been there himself.  And admittedly, it is hard for a lady to see a gents prospective at times.  With these open discussions, no matter how hard the information is to swallow, it may help in gaining a better understanding of one anothers position.

Lauren

In you post, you have written: "I accept a ladies referral, but she has to have a good reputation herself, for there are a great number of less than stellar scam artists and garbage out there to be able to take a strange ladies word for face value also.  I do research the ladies reputation when a name is given to me.  If there isn't any information on her or her reputation is unsavory, then I reject it and ask for other means of verification.  Again, the few bad apples that ruin it for everyone.  Especially, those ladies that have been burned in this scenario."

This is an exceptionally accurate paragraph, and it brings to mind the thought of having a registry of ladies that offer referrals to other providers.  With the understanding that these reviewing forums are supposed to be the "Better Business Bureau" of the ASP Industry, what if there were a mention of a "Better Reference Registry" where providers could gain accurate and timely information regarding a client's reputation?  Even something as simple as, "Here is a list of providers which offer client references for fellow providers" with names and email addresses.  This could potentially be a good resource for clients, too, particularly if they are just getting started as hobbyists.  

Would clients be more likey to choose a provider if the simple statement, "Provides References: Yes" were listed on her reviews profile, versus one which states, "Provides References: No"?  

Any thoughts on a "BRR Stamp of Approval" to be added to provider review profiles?

Just a thought,

BJ, Palm Beach, FL
[email protected]

I think that is a marvelous idea.  I believe a registry of some sort would nip a lot of the problems in the bud.  I also think a mention should be made about a ladies discretionary practices also.  I know for many that may not be an issue, but for many others it is.

Lauren