Flaming aside, it seems to me that the only difference between a username and an alias is the review information tied to the hobbyist’s name and the registered provider’s name. I have to admit that I read a lot of the regional boards for the drama (better than soap operas sometimes) and the thing that comes up quite frequently is alias bashing. This board has it’s share too. Again, take out the unprovoked flaming aspect because I don’t think those should be done by either alias’ or usernames, and what you are left with is just a statement of opinion.
Doesn’t what is said matter more than who said it? If you don’t agree with a post, say so, but why would anyone need to know the hobby related information of the poster in order not to just dismiss the post out of hand as a “cowardly alias post?” I used to feel the same way until a board friend of mine convinced me otherwise. Since then, I’ve posted about thirty percent of my posts under an alias here and there, and I’m thinking about going strictly alias soon.
There are times when I don’t want my hobby related activities negatively impacted by my opinions on the board. I’m kind of lucky in that most of my opinions are not offensive, so it really isn’t an issue, but when I disagree with some, I don’t want that disagreement to cross the line to my hobbying. I actually had one provider, in the heat of the moment late one night, threaten me on my local board with a DNS recommendation just because I (stupidly) got involved in an argument between her and another provider. (felt like I had walked into a buzzsaw). I had one very dysfunctional local TER member start phantom posts under my previous username to the comment board at the local newspaper just because I defended an agency he has a problem with, causing me to have to change usernames. We’ve all seen recently on this board and regional boards, how disagreements are used against each other in the hobby world.
So, for all of you alias hating TER members, please explain why the use of an alias is so bad, and why the first line of response to an expression of opinion is usually “ali..ass” or something like it?
There’s a concurrent issue of the pros and cons of using your TER handle in screening, but that might be better left for another discussion.
Simple, your actual TER name actually is tied to you somewhat, whereas an alias is completely unknown. This isn't quite as important on the national board where members from all around the country gather to discourse and discord with one another, but it does matter, and on a regional board it matters even more
Posts like the one below from Zorro are an example. I promise you that any woman reading his post would likely refuse to see him if he contacted them and reqeusted an appointment. Since it appears he prefers to scour CL, that is not likely to be a problem for him, but that is the difference between using an alias versus your real name. Of course, gentlemen do have an advantage there because when contacting a lady, most men don't provide their TER handle. We ladies do not have that same advantage. Hence an alias allows someone to flame away without having to worry about losing business or being denied an appointment.
Not long ago, one poster was rather upset when a moderator removed all aliases from a thread. His response was that he wasn't going to get laid for a month now after his comments were linked to his real user name rather than the alias he had used. After reading his posts, I suspect he is probably correct.
talking about and the guy below, according to your logic (which I don't fault in the least) are in danger of having their hobbying negatively impacted because of what they posted on an internet discussion board.
In the case of the DC guy, he expressed a very unpopular opinion that had nothing whatsoever to do with actually sessions between hobbyist's and providers and behaviors thereto, yet, because he didn't agree with the overwhelmingly popular position in the thread, he will be impacted. Is that right? What does his opinion have to do with contacting, engaging, and seeing a provider?
In the case of the guy below, his sexual kink is something that turns my stomach and carries with it an attitude towards women that I personally abhor. The websites that are devoted to rough sex and BDSM are clear indications, though, that he is not alone, and the key is that he did not indicate in any way that he forced that kind of kink against anyone's will. In fact, he was surprised that the provider provided that service, which suggests that he was willing to forgo it.
How can we have a truly free discourse if we have to worry that the opinions we express impact off TER activities?
I did on the Atlanta Board and now I'm toast! I am totally apprehensive now to express any opinions on anything. I feel like I'v been muffled. Also, I got moderated for it. I finally got around that but it was not easy.
I don't know exactly how to use aliases since I'm a "newbie" but I'm goina find out by golly! Anybody willing to share the procedure to use aliases?
are we forgetting the convience of the internet has over time given many brass balls so to speak. We tend to say more than we would in a face to face meeting. A great deal of social cues are ignored and fall by the way side because noone knows who you are. You can be as rude and obnoxious as you would like, whos going to know. People like that, who take it over the top with disrespect and stepping on others are not any different in their real lives, they just have to curve their opinion more. By using an alias, they feel they can be rude and then use their real name to get laid. Its silly really because their true colors always shine through in the end.
You went running from board to board trying to garner sympathy for an unsympathatic case. I'd be willing to bet that if you don't get over yourself soon, you will find yourself permanently moderated.
I express unpopular opinions all the time and I don't do it from behind an alias, I have never, not once ever made a post on TER with a handle other than GaGambler. I personally think that those that go around bashing others from behind the anonymity of an alias are cowards.
BTW if you plan on joining the ranks of those cowards that go around taking pot shots from behind an alias, remember the moderators can see who you really are and have the power to unmask you for all to see. Just a friendly word of advice.Somehow I doubt you will listen to it, you have been offered a lot of free good advice in the past few days,but you just seem to be unable to get out of your own way.
Well what it comes down to is that it is my poosy, my choice, just as it is your wallet, your choice.
I also recall several months ago a lady venting on this discussion board, and it turned itself into a three ring circus. Men speculated about how her behavior on the board would impact her business, and I expect that it is very likely that at least a few gentlemen who might otherwise have partaken of her charms decided to cross her off their list.
So the sword cuts both ways. I think the best way to view it is that on these discussion boards, periodically a small kernel of truth is revealed of the person that lies beneath the mask we wear in polite company with one another. Sometimes that face is one of beauty, and all who see it are enriched by it, but often, it is not a pretty face and one that turns others away after seeing it.
I wouldn't expect a man to patronize a woman who showed herself to be a venom tongued, cyncial shrew on a discussion board, and in turn, not all the money in the world can convince me to engage in intimacies with a man who revealed on a discussion board a hateful, misogynistic type view of the ladies that make up this hobby. I wouldn't feel safe for one thing, but more importantly, I would feel soiled following the experience. I enjoy my occupation entirely too much to allow myself to become cynical and jaded by being used by cyincal jerks who view providers as convenient pieces of meat. The fact that he puts on the correct mask in my presence wouldn't change that, because I would recognize it for the falsity that it would be. So yes, if a man displays a particularly ugly perspective of women, I would refuse to see him - assuming of course that he provided a TER handle so that I knew who I was being contacted by. To date, this hasn't happened, and I don't really expect that it will ever be an issue, but I have little doubt that some men have been refused based on something they said on a discussion board.
I never give info to an alias or to someone with no reviews and no board history...I may as well just call the cops and tell them the info...because for all I know, that is what is happening anyway.
As for the cowards who want to bash someone, or make an idiotic comment just to piss people off and they hide behind an alias to do it, is just cowardly and will always invite ridicule.
I understand we are all using aliases here, but some of these aliases cross into real life...either with fellow hobbyists at happy hours, or with the ladies when we meet them.
There is a person behind them and that person has a reputation...even if it is a contrived one...that they have to live with on these boards.
In my mind, aliases should be used for humor, or to make a point, or to hide in a situation where revealing your "board name" may embarass, or harm your reputation when you are simply asking for help or advice.
I agree that information seeking is no good for an alias, and I personally never answer an alias ISO or 411 post because I presume LE. I was talking more about expression of opinion. I thought that I had precluded bashing, but maybe I was talking chicken speak. LOL.
Your last comment basically tracks what I am saying, but there are so many that won't even allow that kind of alias posting.
i don't see the problem with using an alias to ask for info. perhaps the alias monger is aasking something he/she considers stupid or really wierd and doesn't want it linked to the actual username?
The way I see it the term alias AS USED on this board is any name other than the one on your TER birth certificate. For the purpose of this board The name on your TER birth certificate is your "real name" and any other name you use is an alias As for me, I suppose,technically, you could say I have numerous aliases, however since the Followme family is so large I allow my cousins and other family menbers to sign on using my TER log in name then go to their names such as SantaFollowmeClaus FatherFollowme EasterFollowmeBunny PopeFollowmeLXIX DrFollowmeOBGYN RabbiFollowme Followmeopolis to name just a few of my family (there are many others ) So technically these are aliases , however in my case they are all real members of the followme family. To the best of my knowledge they do behave themselves.
I should have used an alias on a recent post I did on the Atlanta Board. I'm not going into the post itself, but suffice it to say I would not have had to take all the heat if I had used an alias. Even now, I can't harldy make a milk toast comment on the Atlanta Board w/o somebody coming back at me with an unfriendly commnet.
And yes, the "train wreck" that ensued spilled right over into my hobby life, and, unless I, as gagambler suggested, reinvent myself, will probably continue experiencing the negative impact of it all b/c now I'm on some DNS lists..
I don't need to hide behind another name in order to express my thoughts and my opinions. If you like what I have to say, great. If not, fine. It doesn't matter to me ultimately. If I have something to say to you, I'm not going to be sneaky and hide behind an alias to say it. I would honestly prefer that other people stood behind their opinions rather than using an alias to talk smack.
As for the ter handle, I like to know the handle when screening so I can get a feel for the gent's personality, likes, dislikes, etc... I've found that the guys who offer their handle generally don't have anything to hide whereas the guys who try to hide it are the same guys who generally have rude reviews, DNS listings and verbal attacks they've posted online to hide. I'd rather not see those gents and I think they know it... why would I waste my time with someone like that? Pass. Then again, apparently passing on the rude ones as well is fuel enough for fake reviews. *rolling my eyes*
Actually if someone does not want to see me because of my opinions I could care less. I don't think I would want to see them either if that is the case. Of course I don't think that will happen much because I do not tend to write ridiculous obnoxious posts. Most of the obnoxious posts I have read have been written with an alias.
Early on, I discovered that all my message posts came up when I googled my handle... fortunately, my handle was not obiviously linked to my civie world... but I decided to adopt this one alias for message boards. I don't necessarily want my board messages internet linked to specific reviews... Ladies I have seen generally know my TER handle anyway. skb
i've gone into strictly alias mode on my regional board just because i dont want my name associated with it.
i would much rather just be able to interact with the community without worrying about the marketing value of my posts.
i actually think you'll find that people tell you what they really think when they are using an alias and i prefer people who are honest over people who are nice.
i can get my ass kissed all day long and get paid for it... sincerity is a rarity i treasure, even if its personally insulting... as long as its sincere, i'm ok with it.
one of my clients tells me all the time that he'd rather have me disagree with him then most people agree with him because he knows that i'm telling him what i really think and not just blowing smoke up his ass.
the alias really isnt the issue .. .most people dont want to accept the truth, therefore they reject the alias.
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