what your wives are "sensing" is that you have backed off on pushing for sex as much, and in the back of their mind, they know that means that they need to still show some interest to keep you from losing interest enough that you start seeing someone else (which, unbeknowst to them, you already have been).

I don't mean to sound overly cynical here...I am not implying that some wives use sex as a tether, although I am sure some do.  However, if there is a significant dropoff in sex without a wife talking to her husband about her feelings about it, it is safe to assume that she either doesn;t care about it or that it has lost priority in her marital relationship (whether for valid reasons or not).  In either case, she is "asking for it", and in the back of most women's minds, they know men need/want sex enough that if they start pushing for it less, there is a reason for it.

In a perfect world, one would think that a husband and wife would want to talk about sexual frequency, no matter what their marital life was like, and that it would be always considered by both parites to be a positive thing in their lives.  However, that is about as likely to happen as Dubya looking out for the "common man".

i hope i make sense.  i just realized i've stayed up all night reading all of u.  so here's my brain dead 2 cents worth.  i think providers as u call...understand perhaps w/o knowing that men miss something vital.  the return courtesy of being spoiled and acknowledged as they do women.  i have never seen a joke acknowleding a women forgetting an anniversary or valentines blah blah blah. furious and devastated however if their man forgets.  by the way...all my best friends are ,emn.  i hear and understand their side.  as a provider...i hope they realize depending on the developed relationship between the 2 that they give a man something he is not getting and not only needs but deserves as mucch as we as women do.  and in a dcomfortable position of no ties.  sometimes men neee it to be about them.  i love the fact that someone repeats visits w/me bc they feel special for a change.  i am not stealing them from anyone.  i think that the other half is still there in some cases bc the frustraqtion a man could feel about not being acknowledged for their needs is eleviated by me.  i don't look for a ring.  it's not my business unless he would like to let me know himself.  i think i did a booboo tonight.  i have a 1/2 hr regular since i started in sept 03.  i knew he was married...we can tell...i asked him why he never wore his ring and rushed out sdo fast after.  i feel he has a guilt thing going on at the end of our time togeter.  i didn't want him to feel like he was doing "evel" things.  he appeared embarrassed (but did not rush away as usual) i think maybe i should not have mentioned it since he did not offer this knowledge to me to be  gin with.  gurls??  your thoughts...guys...your view???

BTW this seems to be in effect in spades when one has little kids.   Seriuosly-  I was getting cruised hard by ladies when I would take my little ones shopping with me.  I thought at first it was because I was clearly involved with someone  (who did they think had carried the little rats?), so I would be a "safe flirt" but some of them came on STRONG.  Like "where are you going now?"  "Would you like to see how your baby would like my garden?"  Stuff like that.  I was blown away, especially as you know i am no looker.

Where were they when I was getting shut out in college and when I did not have a SO?   Sheesh!