Do pray tell if you're okay sharing some details
Given our hobby allows us intimate access to a large number and variety of attractive and charming females, undoubtedly all of us that's partaken long enough have at one point or another come across a provider that got us thinking along the lines of, "if only she wasn't a prostitute I could see us having a future together."
Conventional wisdom, of course, tells us that wouldn't be a very good idea, for a plethora of reasons. But for the sake of argument, if you were to meet a provider who you were absolutely sure could be your soulmate and someone you could fall in love and spend the rest of your life with, would you go for it?
Why or why not?
I could not see myself falling in love with a provider. It would take several multi-hour meetings for the thought to even cross my mind. If the thought did ever cross my mind, then the first thing that I would do would be to see another provider. If feelings persisted, then I might discuss those with the provider. I would let her determine the nature of the relationship.
As my wife was dying, she asked "After I am gone, are you thinking of getting remarried?"
I replied "No."
She said "Good. Just shack up with girlfriends."
Would she continue to work as a provider? If, in your scenario, the answer is yes, then I could not as I am the jealous type when it comes to civilian relationships. If the answer is no, then of course I could. I mean why not? Providers are people, last time I checked. haha.
If she was a good person, and I enjoyed my time with her, are you implying I should hold it against her because she devoted a part of her life to fantasy fulfillment? Others may have an issue with her past, but not I. But then again I wouldn't view her past as a bad thing at all.
when she's working. I consider it an acting job. If she was making out with some actor, or shooting a sex scene where they are both naked, it would be the same for me. No jealousy. A lot of porn stars have SO's as well. I agree that its not for everyone. If you consider their work more than just a transaction, then its going to eat at you over time.
Most of the ones I have had extended relationships with (up to a year) had an exit plan, but it was not convenient for them to stop working abruptly just because we fell in love. At least if they are planning to leave the biz in less than a year, then you know there is a date certain that its only going to be you in her bed. A friend of mine was in a relationship for nearly a year with a provider and just couldn't handle it, so he broke up with her, but left the door open that if she has a firm exit date in the future that is less than 60 days away, he would start dating her again. That seems like a reasonable compromise to me.
At least I can not. If you are able to do so, hat tip to you sir. I guess the only way it could work is if we had an open relationship where it was more of a FWB type thing as then I wouldn't become emotionally invested but no guarantee on that either.
with a working provider, that's kind of what we do. She can have sex with anyone else as long as she is getting paid, and I can have sex with anyone else as long as I'm paying, so we don't consider transactional sex cheating. Its a level playing field that way and jealousy is supposed to stay out of the picture, but like you might imagine, some of these end relationships end because of jealousy . . . . hers, not mine. They will find out that I saw another provider that they know, or someone that is super-hot, and they become insecure and freak out a little. Some can get ahold of their emotions and we smooth it out, but for others, its the beginning of the end.
I never found a relationship with a provider attractive where she keeps working, but I must be faithful to her, but allowing transactional sex on both sides often solves the problem, but not always.
She is working idiot. She has sex so that she can pay her bills.
Hey dip shit parrot CKS--go take the palm of your open hand and bang CDL's head.
Then scream in his ear, "She is a sex worker."
"BUT I must be faithful to her"
"BUT having transactional sex on both sides..."
This is the essence of your BULL SHIT bragging. Its NOT SANE. Its NOT TRUE. Its A LIE.
That actually is the one thing I think I'd struggle with. Even if she has stopped working, just knowing there are hundreds, perhaps thousands of dudes out there in the world that has banged your wife, would be a little tough for me to swallow.
Perhaps it's the dread or paranoia that we might run into one of her clients out in public or catching an ogre across the street staring at her and wondering, "him too?"
If I ever do find myself in love and attached to a provider, I'm not sure how much I'd want to know about her work and her past. Part of me believes that ignorance is bliss, but there's another part of me that's curious and would want to everything, and there lies the dilemma.
I guess for me, the challenge of making such a relationship work is being able to see past her past, and not letting her having been a prostitute define her. It wouldn't be fair to her nor would we be able to have a fully healthy relationship that could grow and reach its maximum potential otherwise.
The only issue is I'm not even remotely confident I'd be up to such a task...
A very few extra details. All years ago. In Europe - some overall different attitudes. I was 19 years older than her. As i said paid her just about weekly for a year. Moved in with me for another seven years before we married. Beside being in the profession she had very high sex drive. Kept me young. We had sex nearly every day before she,,, alllll, went to work. We lived in a smallish city and so, yes, I did know some of her customers including some neighbors. I had my own profession but income from it, though good, was nothing compared to what she brought in -- even when considered now, years later. Were there difficulties? Yes, of course. But we worked through them and kept on trucking.... lol
Thanks for the great and detailed replies! You mentioned one thing that I've wondered about in this scenario which is on the topic of children. I already have kids from my first marriage, but if I was to get remarried I wouldn't be against having more if that's what my hypothetical young bride-to-be wanted. Did you and your wife ever discuss her profession with your children, and if so at what age did you do so and what was their reaction?
Yes we did discuss the situation, but a few years earlier than planed. At 16 and 13 when the 16 year old showed up at Mom's work door unaware that she would be the one opening the door. Yes, it was very tense in the family for a while, but we managed to work through it. Fall out extended for about five years in some ways. But, we did stay together as a family and worked through it. Anyone thinking of such a marriage and children should expect possible similar situations arising.
Do pray tell if you're okay sharing some details
There's nothing really all that unusual; here's the quick version:
I had been divorced (my wife caught me lobbying) for about 3 years when I saw a certain escort on another long gone site (Escort Blogs, if anyone remembers) and she caught my eye, not only for her vivacious looks but the quality of her writing.
She lived in Colorado, and I in Massachusetts, so I wasn't thinking that we'd ever be any kind of item, but after a few months of sharing emails back and forth, I invited her out to see me for a romantic weekend, and that kind of sealed the deal for me that I wanted to know this person even more.
Long story short, we would go back and forth seeing each other either back in Colorado, or Massachusetts, or some other far flung (Bali, in fact one time) locale for several years. During this time we met each others' families, and kept up daily contact by phone as well. After a few years of this we decided, what the hell, let's get married which we did.
That was about 7 years ago now, and our long distance relationship is still flourishing.
She knows full well that I still hobby and is happy for me that I do so.
She decided to hang up her spurs a few years prior to our marriage to pursue more interesting ends.
That's about it.
I have to disagree and say I find hardly anything USUAL about your story lol! But thank you for taking the time to share and congrats on finding a wonderful companion. It seems maybe a large part of why your relationship was successful was because you were attracted to her not only physically, but for her intellect and personality.
I can't speak for anyone else, but my experiences with providers haven't been so fruitful in those regards lol. While I've met plenty who had sweet and loving depositions, I don't recall ever meeting any that stimulated me intellectually. I've read about other members' experiences of meeting providers who read Faulkner or whatever, but it seems the common obsessions of all the providers I've seen lately are yoga, veganism and new age mysticism.
The problem lies, I'm sure, entirely with me and my tastes for women lol. Even my ex-wife, I was drawn to her exclusively for her looks, and when those faded there wasn't much left. And with her now having turned full QAnon, I think I probably made the right call to cut my losses a few years ago lol.
Well if you know of any websites that are still around similar to Escort Blogs, let me know!
P..S. I love Bali as well, particularly the black sand beaches near Manggis and all the terraced rice paddies in Ubud.
If I had my pick of those I’ve seen over the years, I probably would consider a serious relationship with one in particular. I am somewhat of a loner and like to do what I want with my time as much as I can (not referring to just seeing providers). I probably would even be fine with her continue touring the month per quarter that she does if that’s what she wanted. Would this fail and am I crazy? Maybe. More like probably. But I know myself. I don’t particularly like spending everyday with someone and have had enough relationships to know that too much time together tends to make me really miss me time. A traveling provider might work in that regard. Now marriage? That’s a tough call unless there’s a prenup. I put nearly everything I have as far as money, effort, and time into my house, and I’m not going to risk losing it.
...if I was ever to get married again, to a provider or not.
But it brings up an interesting question as to how comfortable a provider would be marrying a client and being financially dependent on him if part of the deal was she stopped working.
Would she feel "trapped" in a way being that if she wasn't "pleasing" her husband to his satisfaction that she could be thrown out of the house and be back on the streets with nothing to show, particularly if she agreed to an airtight prenup?
And how would that impact the marriage itself, being that she may be living in constant fear of losing everything on a whim, even if her husband does nothing to warrant such fears?
As though she may be financially provided for with a roof over her head, in a beautiful home even, and be given more than enough money to spend, that doesn't necessarily equate to financial security as technically that money isn't hers.
And as many providers have at least at one point in their careers been under the control of a pimp, how different would they see their new situation as opposed to their old one?
As even though they might not be forced to work and give up a significant portion of their income to their pimp, their financial situation, and therefore sense of security and personal well-being, is still being controlled by a man and not by themselves.
And for any provider that has broken away from the chains of her pimp and is legitimately working independently and for herself, wouldn't giving up her profession and financial independence to marry a client be, more or less, a step backwards toward a scenario not dissimilar to the one she worked so hard to escape?
I actually dated a provider that worked for an agency we even moved into together(her into my place). I’m not gonna say it was weird, sex was good and I never gave thought to the number of guys she was banging. Yet the thought of it going further into marriage never excited me a bit. Working at a strip club for years that all I dated so once I quit it was strange to say the least to actually date a “real” women.
Curious to know how the experience was of dating civilian women again after dating only SWs for years? Were there any areas where you thought you needed to adjust or recalibrate your behavior or expectations?
with whom I thought I could consider having an LTR. The fact they’re providers wouldn’t stop me, by itself. That’s not practical for me in this universe, however. Also there’s the question as to whether they’d consider having a LTR with ME. 😏
A PS. Obviously we didn’t plan it. We fell in love blah blah and sorta figured out the rules along the way. Not like there is a rule book, right? The way it worked for us was we really dated from the start and I didn’t treat her like a ho or a SB. She naturally was in the twilight of her movie career so it was feasible at the start.
When she wasn’t “working” for 80% of our marriage, we have been monogamous. As a result of being in this marriage, I have realized some sexual fantasies that I otherwise would not have without spending a (larger) fortune. When the marriage has been open, we agreed I could hobby and sugar freely.
It’s not been easy at times but I gather this is true for traditional marriages.
It has happened but it didn't last long enough but it was partially due to distance. I totally fell for her and, yes, she was still providing but it didn't matter. She stole my heart.
.. I am too predictable. Too "corporate like".. Whatever that means.. Dating me is like working on a project. I was asked sarcastically whether we need to have status meeting every week on how the relationship is going?
A lot of things have been said to me by the fairer sex which have resulted in honest assessment of the reality that dating is not for me. Maybe getting into hobby at the ripe old age of 20 have permanently wired my brain in a rigid way, which cannot handle the messiness of relationships.
These are the things that I take as a compliment although they are not meant to be..
-- Modified on 9/15/2021 8:34:15 PM
Yes I know what you mean. During a lengthy period of my life when I was focused on my career and perhaps more importantly, I was living with my girlfriend who later became my wife lol, having relationships on the side just wasn't very appealing to me. The few civilian flings I had often ended up with the girl getting jealous of course, even though it was spelled out from the beginning. I was already in a serious relationship and we were just banging for fun. And though some of my friends enjoyed philandering with civilian women, particularly married ones, expressing they enjoyed the challenge of the "hunt", back then I always much preferred the convenience and no-strings-attachment of seeing providers, and I think I still do lol.
I would be willing to try it. But the whole having sex with other men thing would probably fuck with my mind big time.
I saw a provider who out of nowhere told me she was dating one of her clients. First time I saw her, I vaguely remember her saying they might get married.
Saw her again a year later (we lived in different cities) they broke up. She said it was like being 3 people at once. She had to be herself, her escort persona and another person around him.
Yes it would be interesting to hear from a provider's perspective especially if they adopt a more "palatable" persona when they're working and if they feel like they need to keep up this appearance "off the clock" if they start dating a client.
...I developed "feelings" for -- yeah, I know, a classic rookie mistake.
She was kind enough to be honest with me and explain what would be necessary for any kind of relationship between us work.
Short version was LOTS of money, orders of magnitude more than I had. 
Any time I even get close to "those" kinds of feelings, I recall our heart-to-heart and I'm cured 
Yes, and isn't that one of the ironies of dating a provider? The natural expectation is that perhaps you can save a bit of money not having to pay for every encounter, but little does one know...
If you are seeing one provider and she is the one you will be turning into an IRL SO, then you could save money if you both don't keep up an extravagant lifestyle!
If you are seeing multiple providers and stop seeing them, then you should be able to save money from that too!
It just depends on the lifestyle you follow!
But in my younger self, escort status would not be a negative consideration.
Who would want to be married to a guy who thinks so little of himself that he says::
"I am probably the most forgettable human being walking the face of the earth."
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/thats-why-i--966701?frmSearch=1#966701
If you leave the house in the morning and come back at night, your wife might not know who the hell you are! LOL!
Is this bullshit from CDL:
"Well, when I'm in a relationship . . . .with a working provider, that's kind of what we do. She can have sex with anyone else as long as she is getting paid, and I can have sex with anyone else as long as I'm paying, so we don't consider transactional sex cheating. Its a level playing field that way and jealousy is supposed to stay out of the picture, but like you might imagine, some of these end relationships end because of jealousy . . . . hers, not mine."
This must be the highest pile of horse shit ever posted on TER. At least half of the K-Girl providers who are language-challenged would kick him in the balls for such a disrespectful, fucking stupid remark.
Its time to pile onto this string to show the low life what real men think of CDL's stupidity!
this is an often asked topic here. my attitude, sure if there was truly chemistry. one girl asked me, but what about what the neighborhood guys would say ........ my answer ... "sorry nobody will pay to sleep with YOUR wife ! " LOL
And why? I love her she loves me so why not? Sex workers are people first. You marry them for the same reasons you marry anyone: Your bat shit crazy and a masochist. Isn't it obvious? Actually matting my wife is the best thing to happen to me.
Sure! Why not? Currently have for over 6 months so far, We get along great and continue to progress at this point.
Falling in love with someone of the opposite sex or same sex is absolutely great, but is it ideal to fall in love with a woman who has sex with a ton of guys and are you 100% (Without a doubt positively sure that she feels the exactly the same and won't fall in love with someone else while she's with you?). Think about that when you ask questions like that. I'm not trying to be nasty, but you do got to weigh your pros and cons when it comes to things like this.
I think you have to have the same outlook as someone in an open relationship. If you are possessive, it won't work.
but not if she's still a SW.
There are a few providers and former provides that I know well enough that I'd seriously consider an LTR (if I was single), but, and again, the providers that I know well enough, carry too much work-related baggage.
I would also be the jealous type because the providers that I am most attracted to formed bonds with me that went way beyond "good service."
I'm currently in with a girl I met in 2013. So far it's great. There are a few major complications. But so far it's great. The sex is still great.