OK, so I had a brief little fling with this girl at work, we got intimate one night, and I started to get into her. Biggest mistake I could have made. Once I started showing interest, she started turning on me. Then we had an episode where I was talking to a mutual friend in confidence (I thought) about her - nothing bad was said, just concern for her -  and this idiot spilled the beans to her, she flipped out and totally turned on me, saying we weren't even friends anymore. Needless to say, this girl is a bit wacked, and I've been hearing from many different sources that she's crazy. And she has a history of turning on guys who fall in love with her. Some serious missing daddy issues here. But here's where she stuck it in and twisted it. I wrote her a really nice Facebook message explaining that the conversation we had about her was out of concern for her, that I loved her as a friend, etc. She threw it back in my face. Now she's cold to me, and even disparaging at times. She hurt me because I put my heart out there and she ripped it up. So how to get back at her? I have some ideas. Needless to say I need to focus on the new honey as the priority, but I'd love to make this little b***h feel as bad as she made me feel.

Dude your post is riddled with contradictions and problems you need to move on far and fast.before some one really gets hurt.

always smile...send yourself a broquet (man bouquet)  one of those stupid little things in the smiley face coffee cup...also, ignore her...that sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo  sucks and she will hate it  and don't feel bad....you found out now that she is creepy...that in itself is priceless

seeking revenge, particularly against someone you are still working with. Good way to lose your job.

but your post sounds like one written by a teenager, especially the face book part.

Grow up, get over it and go get laid. Get laid a lot, soon she'll be nothing but a distant memory.

Sheesh, you'd think this was the newbie board.

The best thing to do is to totally ignore her at work.  It will eventually bug the shit out of her, if she thinks you don't give a damn about her anymore.  That is better revenge than anything else you could think of.

Swim

will only add fuel to an already uncomfortably hot fire. I think Crimson has a good idea. Ignore her, totally. She will hate the fact that you have blown her off. Use that as your revenge.  If you have to speak to her on business related matters, so be it, confine it to that.

Sounds like someone else might be also.  You know, with the revenge plotting and all.  Ahhh how simple it is to point it mental illness in others.  Maybe that's why you two connected?

Do you you really want to entertain the idea of revenge against someone you have already admitted is "crazy". if you turn things up 1 notch she is liable to turn things up to 11. It's not like you can predict her behavoir to any degree if you do try something; but i bet whatever it is she comes back at you with IT WILL BE CRAZY!  why do we always love the crazy ones.  let it go, you have to work together.

Yeah OK Mr. Tough Love, I appreciate the advice. You might try Facebook though, it is a great way to keep in touch with friends. Now I'm off "Grow up, get over it and go get laid."

as though she's done you a great service letting you see the side of her that shouts "Whack Job". Revenge is absolutely useless. You'll get nothing for your efforts but more grief. Put yourself above it all, and get on with your life.

Don't stoop to the level that your complaining about.

Oh don't worry. I'm not gonna do anything rash.

Go get laid a lot. lmao

Just remember, the best revenge is living well. Life is too short to waste time thinking of ways to "get even". The very thought process means that somehow she still holds power over you.

this type of behavior is appropriate for 13 year olds.

Maybe you should go to better restaurants.

(and we have all done it) when you let it get to you, you give the person who acted badly too much power.  Hard as it is, I have always found it best to forget it and move on like the others have said.  It is important not to let yourself feel like a fool for feeling upset nor for having put your heart out.  We have all done it probably many times.  Your strength and maturity in first having taken the risk and now in just moving on will take her power away and make you feel better about things.  Getting laid is also a really nice thing not only in this circumstance, but anytime so use this as an excuse to treat yourself.

Thanks brother.

You saved me the trouble of having to post a message. I mean, what are we, Miss Fucking Lonely Hearts?

Ooops, sorry, this guy wanted real advice – I suggest you post a message on Facebook of someone you know she knows saying you've got Herpes. Then when she contacts you, tell her you don't really have Herpes, but if you did, you're sure it's from her friend Lana. Then call Lana and tell her that this girl said she had Herpes. Then stay up all night having a pillow fight. Then buy her a big bottle of Juicy Couture Eau de Perfume and make all kissy-kissy.

-- Modified on 1/9/2009 12:20:27 PM

is simply to move on with your life. If you feel they made a mistake, they too will see it and there is your revenge. You r no longer available to them.
So move along...

your reaction was juvenile. Seems to be the general consensus as well. OK...I fuck up like that too and I am nearing 50.
If you want revenge, identify a very classy provider to pick you up from work (she needs to be very high end, properly dressed, etc.). She arrives, gives you the doe eyes and you leave together.  This of course is staged in front of her.

Then use your second hour like a big boy.

Thinking someone is seeking advice when in reality they just want a chance to vent. Good luck on your recovery from heartbreak. You've gotten allot of good advice anyway

-- Modified on 1/9/2009 12:26:29 PM

It would be childish of you to "get back at her." Why?

Be the grown up and a nice person and just forget about her, okay hon. Vengeance does nothing more than reap more hurt.

Hugs,
Ciara

MAYDAY - the first piece of information you provided here is that you work with her. The rather uncouth phrase "don't s**t where you eat" comes immediately to mind. So you want to "get back" at a girl, but is your job worth it? Will it be worth it to create conflict in your workplace, quite likely dragging co-workers into the fray and forcing them to either choose sides or distance themselves from both you and her?

Second point, from what I gathered from your post it appears that the two of you had essentially a one night stand that perhaps evolved into a form of 'friends with benefits' type situation (?). You didn't get into detail here, but it doesn't sound as though your relationship ever really got off the ground as a more serious intimate relationship. So my question is why is she responsible for your feelings? Did she in any way indicate to you a desire for an intimate romantic relationship? From the little I can glean of her response, it appears that all she was interested in was a casual encounter, no strings, no attatchments. It doesn't really sound as though she really deserves either your devotion or your anger.

I do not wish to seem rude, but one would hope most people would grow out of the idea of needing to get "revenge" simply because a relationship didn't work out sometime before high school graduation. At any rate, the smartest thing you can do is shrug it off as a learning experience and move on to the next adventure in life. I can't help but also give you the suggestion that regarding women as "honies" might contribute to your need to keep searching for Ms. Right as opposed to actually finding her.

Take my suggestions for what they are worth - but at least take to heart the suggestion to leave romance out of the workplace. It is nearly always a recipe for disaster.

You talked about her behind her back and you can't understand why she is mad at you?  She may have issues but it sounds like you have a few as well.  Grow up, a little, get over it and move on.  Hopefully you learned a lesson for the next time...

talked about her to someone else, if you really cared for her; as you say you do.

Now you want revenge, that's mature and you say she is twisted?

Revenge is a slippery slope which ends destroying oneself. If I were you I would apologize to her and then let it go.

Apologize and let it go, even if you don't mean it.
You can slide a lot farther on bullshit than you can on sandpaper.

Piece of advice, never ever shit the same place you eat.  Now you are going to make it worse by getting revenge.  And not to sound judgemental but you are a hobbyist..so how much of you heart was really broke?  My heart been frozen for years

I agree. Why lower yourself to her level and her love of the drama? You'll just get yourself in a whole world of hurt. And I'm not talking just about the heart! You could lose your job since you work together. Sexual harrassment ring any bells? LE could come knocking on your door, saying you're stalking her, even though that's not the case. But it's your word against her's. Just move on, bud. You'll be better off for it, and in a few months or so you'll be wondering what you were so upset about!

I agree, and I'll have to remember that analogy! Thanks Hungry!

The best advice so far . . .

Good points no doubt. The "revenge" factor, and I admit that is a rather small way of thinking, stems from the fact that due to the misunderstanding we had, I really extended myself to her and tried to make things right as a friend. And she threw it back in my face with a virtual f-you. When you do that to me, as a lover or as a merely a friend, you cross a line. And it's a sh*tty way to treat someone.

But look, my main goal isn't to "get back at her". I will focus on friends and cooler chicks and getting laid and all that. And as many others have pointed out, this whole thing has tinges of some rather high-school and juvenile behavior and I count myself guilty for participating in that.

Life will move on. I'm just being honest in admitting that I hope she someday feels as crappy as she made me feel. But her own behavior will be it's own punishment eventually. Thanks again.

Hey I heard Lana got herpes from you. Right after the pillow fight you had because you dropped the Juicy Couture before presenting it to her with the Friendship Ring. But that was on Myspace, not nearly as accurate as Facebook. Oh well, good luck with that. At least you got some.

Yup.

Bad for her instead. Maybe this girl has serious issues with anyone getting close to her .Maybe she is one of those , anyone who wants to be in my club can't be any good girls??
Maybe it is a reflection of how she feels about herself. I would feel terrible for her and move on to someone more grounded. Good luck Kendall

Since people were still responding, I thought I'd summarize what I've learned.

OK, I admit it. I did engage in an immature little episode with this girl. It was a bit of high-school drama. I posted here what I was honestly thinking at the time, and boy did you guys let me have it! I got some great, thoughtful responses, and I got slapped around a bit too. I probably deserved it.

I know that even thinking about seeking revenge is a mistake. And I've learned some other things too from this experience and everyone's input. No hard feelings to anyone, even those who gave me sh*t. Have a great day.

You wrote a facebook message saying that sappy crap no wonder she acted that way .

That's all you've got? You're a little late to the Giving Me Crap For Writing a Facebook Message Party. Sure, I feel like a sap now for writing it now, but at the time I thought I was reaching out to a friend. It was a genuine but firm message trying to explain the situation. Would I do it again? No. But then I wouldn't do about six other things that led to this.

I used to work in a smaller town, and have witnessed people losing their jobs, etc. because of an "office romance" gone bad, where someone did seek revenge and the gossip mongers went wild. One of the parties lost their marraige also. If you need convincing I have a story that will curl your hair.
The best revenge is living well.

Yea it was dumb and the forum posted it late
Never post private  feelings in a public manner to a girl

Fair enough. It was immature of me to do so.

I was crushed by a coworker to the point I could not get any work done.  A friend arranged for a counseling session with a therapist.  It made a world of difference.  IOWs seek help if you have to.  There is no shame in working out your problems with a professional.  That's why they are there.  It only took about three sessions and was the best money I ever spent.  It saved my job.

Good luck.