are old and decrepit before your time?

Now before I am castrated by a hoard of angry women, allow me to explain.

Although  I admitedly have not seen this phenomeona present in the few providers I have seen, something that I can't identify leads me to believe that this is a condition present among women in general, and because of that I post the following:

3 of my casual lady friends are between the ages of 30 and 40. To be more precise 33, 36, and 38 respectively.

Two of them are former co workers, who I worked with at the same firm but they did not socialize, much, if at all together.

The third is just a friend I became aquainted with on a social basis.

All three have two things in common:

First, all three work out regularly(one spends her vacations training for and running marathons around the world), and in public act very spry, and above all are collectively ,and individually very attractive women. Granted none will ever appear in the Victoria Secret Catalog, but they have nothing to be ashamed of.

Second: The second thing that these ladies have in common is that they have this crazy notion that they are old and no longer attractive. At 33, or 36?, Please!

I would have chalked this up to individual opinion, except that over the weekend I was at the Mall doing something that I hate, buying clothes!. Anyway, I'm standing in line waiting to pay, when I hear this same thing from a women three or four customers up.

She was speaking so loud I was able to hear. She too was a reasonably attractive women who in my opinion should have little if any difficulty attracting a man, yet she too was complaining to her shopping buddy about the same thing. She too apparently was in her mid thirties, and complained of losing her looks and of becoming old.

Therefore, I ask the ladies or anyone who cares to answer.

Whats up with this?

As always I thank you for your courtesy ,and I hope to hear from you soon.

Thank You.

I think for many of them it’s because they are confronted with that from so many sides telling them that “we” (clients, movies, etc.) consider 30+ to be OOOOOLD!

How often does a review say something like, “She was 25, but looked good for an older woman”, or , “she was almost 30, older than I prefer”.  That sentiment seems out there in this business and beyond.  The music industry is probably the worst.

IMHO...women tend to feel that they are old and not as attractive, because they are bombarded with ads....showing younger women, more shapely women, surgically enhanced women. Magazine articles on how to be your best..implies that you are not at your best.

No one stays young forever, and your beauty as women is more than skin deep.

Ladies should not allow the public at large to shape how they view themselves.

I was in a 11 year relationship, and my ex-boyfriend wanted me skinny. I had dieted until you can see the bones in my face and body. Yes, he was happy..but, I wasn't I was too busy pleasing him, that I was neglecting myself. I am glad that our relationship was over. I finally got the courage to leave (after years of physical, emotionally abuse-try being called a fat cow, although at 5'7", I was  only 135 pounds), the relationship, and started to accept me for who I am: a voluptuous beauty. What amazes me now in my life, is that I am accepted for who I am, as a person. That there are men out there, who like me mind, body, and soul I love myself more than I ever did before, now at the TENDER of 34 going on 35

This post is not to flame, only to bring to light of what I went through, and I can only speak for myself. What I would like to say for the beautiful ladies everywhere, short, tall, thin, bbw's: learn to love yourself for who you are, and you will shine in a positive note

Mel






-- Modified on 8/18/2003 2:20:14 PM

Good for you, Mel!  Now that you got there, don't let 'em drag you back down.

As men age .. they tend to get more distinguished looking.   Women just get older looking.   It's a sad fact that women tend to go down hill fast after about 40.  [note ... not YOU!   or you either.  nor anyone you know ... just women in general.

It seems that nature gives up on us when we pass our reproductive years.   During reproductive years, women tend to be resistant to heart attacks and many other maladies that afflict men.   Breast cancer is less common (note I just said LESS common) during the reproductive years too.   As soon as the female reasches the end of those productive years, bad things start to happen to the body.  Same goes for men, of course, but our reproductive years are longer.   Sometimes into our 70's - but when we reach that age ... nature seems to give up on us, too.

Now ... we all know stunning exceptions to that rule ... women who look better as they get older.   But in general it's just the way it is.   Now don't blame ME.  I didn't INVENT the Double Standard - I merely profit from it and every time I see a 60 year old man walking down the beach in Waikiki with a 22 year 0ld blonde ... I just smile and say to myself .. the system works!

Now, I have seen both men and females, who do age well..and haven't. My mother is 58, and she doesn't look a day over 40. My father is the same way. No wrinkles, no grey. I believe it may be in the gene's, who knows (?). People who have met me, swear that I am lying about my age, for I look like I am in my late 20's (I have a babyface). I tell them to say "thank you", to my parents lol

Mel



-- Modified on 8/18/2003 2:30:16 PM

Thanks, O'Traveler

All I can do is look back at what I went through, and hope that no other woman goes through this or something similiar. The funny thing about this, is that I didn't have my first orgasm until I left the relationship (that is how sad it was lol), and it was with a long time client of mine (THANK YOU!!!!!!)


Mel

-- Modified on 8/18/2003 2:35:08 PM

Phyllis Diller once said:


When I was in my 20's and 30's I charged for it.

In my 40's I gave it away.

In my 50's I'm giving refunds!

Correction: SOME men age well. When I do see an older man and a younger woman I tend to feel that there is more than meets the eye such as Daddywarbucks? Unless she is his niece or daughter.

No wonder she gave it away at 40. I believe the plastic surgeon couldn't do anymore to her by then.

Yes!   AND?   Your point is?   That's part of the system that works so well!

There's a review of a brand new 21 year old babe posted somewhere just about every day .... and no matter how old I get ... they all like me for the same reason!

Like I said ... the system works!

To her you may be her Daddywarbucks.

When I was in my mid thirties, people frequently mis-took me for my mid-twenties, and you wish that marginal difference would continue! LOL! But, it doesn’t…I’ve had a serious illness a few years back, and mega-stress lasting 15 years, and now I’d be happy to at least look my age, and not OLDER! Lol But, really how one LOOKS cannot compare with how one FEELS physically (nothing’s more important than health) and where their mental outlook is.

I think very young. I don’t think I noticed HOW ‘young’ I act and think until recently. Most of my friends and associates are anywhere from 12-20 years younger than I so it’s not often that I am around people in my own ‘age group’. Yet, last year when I had the occasion to visit with my ex-husband, and some of our friends from when we were married, they all seemed to talk and act old, and constantly mention something having to do with ‘getting old’. I was so surprised! You’ll never catch me talking like that! Like Olay says, I’ll fight it every step of the way, and as long as I still look good in a short skirt, both me and Tina Turner will wear them! LOL! Yet, I’m not saying not to be realistic either. I’ve recently gone through the closets and drawers and pulled out things that just don’t look right anymore – they seem too ‘young’ fashionably. For years I’ve had hair down to my waist, and cut it two years ago because the style wasn’t ‘working’ for me anymore. You get what I’m saying..

Megapig says it exactly. Men get better as they age (Sean Connery didn’t even get my attention UNTIL he grayed) and women simply age..
And age in this country, in many ways, is disrespected; youth and beauty conversely is revered. No man truly LONGS for and LUSTS for an older woman when given the choice between a 55 year old and a 25 year old. That’s hard to face.

I agree with Mel – I like where I am now and wouldn’t trade it for being in my 20’s ever – no way! But, still, beauty fades and we worry about it fading to the point of no longer being noticed.

My ATF is over forty and her face is flawless, not a line or a mark on it. She isn't a hard body anymore but she is one of the sexiest women alive IMHO. I've seen younger but none could ever hold a candle to her passion.

Of course women in their 30's can still be very hot if they eat well, don't do drugs/alcohol, and work out. My ATF is definitely in her 30's.

For most of the guys in this message board community, this hobby is about having sex with women you can't pick up in the Real World. Except for the very small percentage of guys who could get very good looking women and just hobby to save the time/effort, the rest of us are after what we can't have. And to a lot of the guys that means younger women - e.g. in their 20's. That means there are more hot 30 somethings for us.

Yes, very hot, very knowledgeable (in many ways), and very sensual.

Thanks to all of you Ladies who fit that description.  There are a lot of you out there, and sadly, these boards are as close as I will get to meet 99+% of you.

For many self esteem is internal and outside factors do not influence one's sense of worth or attractiveness.

For others, they are caught up in what the public thinks.

But even if one's self esteem is good, take this for example...now we are talking "hobby"...Imagine having men flooding to your door in droves at the age of 22 or 28, only to find that by the age of 30, there is only 1 man at the door every month.

It is very difficult for "older" women (over 30) to get action. I used to have about 5-6 potential suitors per DAY and I could count on more if I so desired. Now, I might get 1-2 a month. I am now 35 and I have always treated my clients like gold and have enjoyed their company immensely. But I am not 29 nor 22 but I would say I've held up ok but I am definitely not a supermodel. I still love my job and probably appreciate the clients I do see even moreso.

Self esteem is internal but men and women do respond to the affections and attention of others.

Heather

I'm 37 and think I am the hottest thing on Earth

I disagree that men get a more distinguished look... sorry.

Especially now a days because women take such better care of themselves... Nearly every couple in my family (Aunt Uncles etc) The woman looks better! They work out now, might get a little botox or laser work, but they don't wear old lady hair like 20 years ago...they have nice hair with highlights or frost, good makeup and clothes, are fit, and they use self tanners, and look pretty damn good! Even at 60!


The MEN are bald (ha ha! none of the women bald in our family) the men are fat (sorry they don't tend to work out like the ladies do, they have wrinkles and beer bellies and are white as hell (like beached whales in the summer)

SOrry but men don't look "Distinguished" as they get older. That's just on TV.

I'd rather be a pretty lady at 60 then a fat bald white guy.

Maybe I'll start trolling the grocery stores.

Just peeked at your site. If YOU have trouble getting men to show up at your door the earth must have fallen out of its orbit!

Women have always to some degree been bombarded with the message that beauty, youth and age are what determines their worth. Just look at any of the magazines on the stands or any womens commercial on TV. Sadly, a lot of women feed into that message that they are bombarded with on a daily basis.  

Say what you want, the gents have bought this hook line and sinker too.  I am not saying all, for there are exceptions to every rule, but for the most part, gents demand that perfection themselves, even though they profess differently.

I look at myself as a great example of that.  In my youth, as a model, I was also obsessed with my weight, the outcome of those years has left me anemic.  Despite that, the attention I got from gentlmen was over the top, even though I was under my ideal weight at the time and very sickly.  

After my first marriage failed  I ballooned to 315 pounds (size 26-depression) and I became invisible in society.   Car broke down...no one would stop...doors were no longer held open as a courtesy...no friendly hello's....nothing from men and women alike.  After shedding those pounds, I was amazed at how different the attitudes were.  Those doors are suddenly opened again, those friendly greetings appeared once again, and I could just be pulled on the side of the road to talk on my cell and it is guaranteed someone will stop to ask if I am okay.

I am by no means a hardbody.  I will never do that to myself again, but am proud of where I am now in comparisons to then.  I have always stated in my site that I am not a hardbody, but well proportioned.  All my reviews are good, but in each and every one of them my one flaw is pointed out time and time again.  The fact that I am not that hardbody and could stand to lose 15 pounds or so.  This amazes me to an extent, for I do not advertise any differently, I am told that my pics are accurate and that the gents I meet with aren't looking for a hardbody, but then somewhere in the review is this pointed out.  So the message of lose weight is inadvertenly pounded on me again and again, despite the protests from gents that say they prefer otherwise.

Just an example of how women are driven to think the way that they do and so it goes with age also.  A woman has to have a great deal of esteem to deal with these messages.  Sadly, most don't and feed into the messages they are bombarded with each day.  

I am what I am.  I have been on all ends of the spectrum and what I have learned through the years is that no one will ever be 100% satisfied.  A person could go mad trying to please everyone elses ideals.  The only ideals that I have to cater to is my own and am quite content with where I am at.  

Lauren

And good to see you posting!

xo,
Sedona

If they are still around, they are very good and very interesting.  Further, I don't feel like I am fooling around with my daughter (not a turn-on for me).

Let's hear it for the great ladies that did not die sexually after they passed "a certain age"!!!  Send me a note and introduce yourself if you are in the Boston Area.

We've all heard that "beauty is in the eye of the beholder."  What we tend to forget, if we ever knew it, is that this applies to whole societies as well as to individuals.  The current standard, that a woman must be slim and under 30(approx), has been with us for about the past 40 years.  For most of us, this covers 80-100% of our lifetimes.  So it can sure seem likes "always".  

Expanding a little on the "bombardment" you talk about.  Hey, some of the guys may not be paying attention to the commercials or the mags.  Consider the commercials for everything from bath oils to mineral supplements that claim to "banish the ravages of age".  Or the ones targeted at women to buy useless exercise gadgets or join a health club, not to get stronger and healthier, but so that their butt will look better in a bikini.  

These ladies are targeted by a trillion dollar industry.  The best sociological and psychological brains money can buy design these ad campaigns.  Yes, a lot of women will inevitably buy into into it.

Fashions change, our ideas of "beauty" are not those of the 19th Century and certainly not the same as the 16th Century.  Can you say Rubenesque?  Pop quiz: anybody know who this guy Rubens was?  And believe it or not there was even a time in our own culture when old age was held in respect and considered beautiful.

Caharmon I've got to agree with you on this..100%.  I've thought for a very long time that women (in general) are far too hard on themselves when it comes to the age factor...& 30 seems to be some sort of demarcation line where their concerns begin.  I'm sure there are a multitude of reasons for this, but in one way or another they're almost all economically driven.  Take all the cosmetic companies as a prime example...I'm sure if the various "look younger" items were taken out of their product line the bottom line would take a huge hit.  Thus the advertising praises the youthful look, but it's not a giant leap to then realize that at the same time the message is that there's something wrong with gals looking their age.

While I'm a bit older now myself, I've thought for many years that a woman (assuming she still takes care of herself) didn't reach the point where she looked her best until after she turned 30.  That's certainly true with the 'civilian' gals I've known...& a couple of providers I know have 30 in their rear view mirrors now & are still smoking hot!!  

And to me there's also a certain type of senusuality in many 30+ gals that many younger ones simply don't possess no matter how basically hot they may look.

In this age when "American Idol" and "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" are the most popular forms of entertainment, Fox News is touted as "fair and balanced", and the title of a CD by a British band (Radiohead) about our Chief Executive being a thief is accurate, it is hard to feel that the personal development movements that began in the 60's and 70's even happened.  

Few people have time to think about personal development when they are being squeezed by the society their parents worked to establish in the hopes it would provide a better life for their children.  As for the few who do, they often are ridiculed (or worse if you are a man) as being "sensitive" types...which could only be a bad thing in a society that increasingly values its individuals only by the commodity that they provide.

What...too bitter?

Pasadena and the Legion of Honor in San Francisco to see his huge paintings.  They have a couple of his works which rival those of his in the Louvre, JMHO.

Peter Paul Rubens, a 17th century Flemmish (Belgian) Baroque painter who favored well- rounded models.

No relation to Paul Reubens, BTW...

Your beauty fades and my penis gets soft, so what's the big deal?  LOL.  But what's important is what's inside the body, the mutual respect for one another, the caring for other human beings, and many other non-tangible things that, unfortunately, our society doesn't emphasize.

I have read so many of your comments about age but when it comes down to it age doesn’t have to be negative.  Of all that I have been with, and I have seen some wonderful ladies and my very special favorite being Celeste.  This is a lady that should be an inspiration to all providers to show that age doesn’t mean a thing.  It is the quality and integrity of the person and the service they provide that counts in this business.  With her, age means nothing as she has the quality and beauty that counts.

Hi there Nicole.

I'll throw something else out that fits you and a lot of other "older" women. I'm not as visually oriented as the next guy, it seems. To me, there is nothing sexier than a confident woman, especially the confidence that comes from experience.

Good post, Dionisios.
I wanted to reply to both Mel's and Aphroditez posts by sharing (one) similar experience and say that I understand firsthand, also , and will only say this one story: About 9 years ago, I had begun body building, and was in the BEST shape I'd ever been in, and was about a size 3-5. I was dating a politician (long distance) from DC who came to SD frequently on military business as well as he had (young)children here with whom he visited. He constantly pressured me about my weight and looks - "If you're going to attend this or that with ME, you'll need to lose 5 MORE pounds", even though I was already very thin..
In the meantime, this 'thing' we have in our country regarding youth, beauty and 'thinness' in particular has caused so many problems with our teenage girls - eating disorders, etc.

I'm glad to see people like Jamie Lee Curtis and many famous models speaking out and being more 'natural' and promoting that who you 'are' is good enough - focusing more on being the best you can be from the inside out.

As Popeye says, "I yam what I yam.."

the earth fell out of its orbit after 9/11. the west is semi-depressed. me, heading east next week for a stint. sf is worse or so i hear.

is that I knew that lots of folks would know the answer.

Wow...that was one hell of a post.

By your definition, I am still working at achieving wisdom, and this is truly the case.

Pap may have existed since time immemorial, but it is marketed to us more constantly and insidiously than ever before, which makes it harder to avoid.  We also have less responsibilities in our days that keep us away from technology or media and give us silence to expand our minds in.  

The 60's and 70's may be viewed as the days of cheesy pop psychology, but at least a great portion of society thought outside of the box for a while.  Now that these philosophies are viewed as "tree hugging", we are all able to go back to enjoying our power lunch (oops, watch out for the antibiotics in the beef, or the pesticides in the salad!).

Yes, there are many things in the world that still inspire wonder.  However, not all people have the sense of purpose that you do (are you a fire sign?...lmao), so it can be harder for some to wade through all the BS in modern society.

Regardless, I am inspired by your convictions and strength of character, and anytime I am feeling weak, I will call your Pollyanna. :P

I just ran a little ways with the ball that she tossed out.  And carhamon (sp) deserves a lot of credit for the thoughtful and caring way he started this thread.

I'm glad you brought up eating disorders.  I was about to say something "politically correct" but, as it turns out, factually wrong on that.  Luckily I did a little research first.  It is not a recent phenomenon and hasn't always been connected with a desire for thinness.  The link below is a 30 second read and I recommend it to everyone (I just love the Web).

I also came across references to a book
"Fasting girls : the history of anorexia nervosa / Joan Jacobs Brumberg."
It's available in the SD Public Library (the Web again) and I'll pick up a copy tomorrow.

Wow, another Bostonite!

I am in Boston, Harry...I hope that you are enjoying the weather

Mel

i only saw melinda's subject line...i fully agree!!  media...young, starved and airbrushed girls r featured and we r expected to compare.  NOT!!!!  i am 33...my ad doesn't state this as the person (in need of business 101)smling....that runs the site changed it bc he states i will not get calls bc i would be considered to old.
stated to me by an inexperienced 21 yr old little gurl...20's are the best yrs of your life....NOT!!!  i would not for the life of me go throgh these trial yrs again.  at 33 i am more confident more comfy with me ane like myself better.  i also feel i am in way better shape.  when i have a 19 yr old little girl jealous...i'm there. it's more how u carry yourself which is a result of how u feel of yourself. i'm not the higher powers gift to the world but i'm a good (hee hee)gurl.  
women and age will take time to be an issue of the past.  mens...sorry guys...opinions of age and natural female aging process is a huge instigator.  i'm going to shut up and go to sleep now.