I'm curious... fellas, I understand the ladies have various standards and ways of doing business, but can we agree that there might be some universal rules to consider in this?

I mean, being a gentleman should be the easy part and for the most part, most of you are when contacting a lady. Some- not so much.

Also, I think we might be able to agree that it might be a bad idea to contact a lady for the first time stating you've read her reviews and such and then try to pin her down to stating that the money is for sexual services.

It seems to me that as dedicated hobbyists on here, most of you know the score. Some, it seems, needs a reeducation seminar.

Katie

The more I realize that hobbyists as a group are not the most stable bunch- nor are providers as a group-  so a certain amount of erratic behavior and idiocy is to be expected!

That's not to say that there aren't many in both groups who are great people.  But let's face it- for the most part, we are all a little messed up or we wouldn't be here.

Fortunately, most of us are teachable.  And the ones who need to hear your message are usually not and the message falls on deaf ears.

Such is life.

katie, do you get these type of queries from hobbyist here on TER? I would think that most folks here understand the proper approach when making that first phone contact.

With all the tools and discussion boards here on TER on how to go about arranging things I am suprised it still goes on.

but it gets me a cup of coffee at Starbuck's... oh, I also have to cough up the $2.35 as well for the small (tall, Grande, venti !!! how freaking pretentious can you get?  yikes).  all for a BURNT cup of coffee.... yeech.  Gimme dunkin doughnuts... anyday.

but I digress...  seems that some are gentlemen and some are ladies... and others... well they are not...

I do try to make my appointment by simple statements... such as... "Hi, I'm (Insert name here) and I would like to meet with you."  simple no???  she knows why I am calling... I know why I am calling... (or I am dumber than spit).  I figure that if she says... "When?" then I'm in... If she says something like "who are you?" or "what would you like...?" I may be dealing with a not bright bulb - or le.... but that rarely happens... mostly it is when... and I say when and she either says ok.. or I'm busy in which case  I either offer an alternative or say later...

keeping this stuff simple provides two things... it gets things started... and it lets me explore at a more leisurely pace.... which provides comfort all the way around...

but you either can do these things naturally or you can't.... sadly that is what I learned by chiding others....

But I would be more than happy to have you as my school mistress... and spank me ... cause I'm a bad boy!  lol!

-- Modified on 3/3/2008 9:35:08 PM

I try to make a point of not mentioning reviews at all. I simply introduce myself, tell her that I've seen her site, and found her interesting. If there is any information on her site that shows a common interest, I might mention it. I also will give a general description of myself. (Hieght, weight, age, etc.)

If the lady responds, then I may go a little further, and mention some of my interests. I try to let her know a little about me. I tend to plan my playtime well in advance, and trade a few emails, and possibly a phone call or two, but still stay on the right side of being a pest. Being one of the shy guys, it seems to help me with the initial awkward part of meeting for the first time.

Since I only hobby when I travel, I always tell a lady when I will be in town, mention a day and time that would work for me, and usually, that my time is flexible, then ask if she might have some time available to spend with me.

Just some thoughts. Works for me.

not that really matters much, since my experience is very limited, and yes I am very very shy.  My contact is almost always done by e-mail, to which I simply introduce myself, age, height and weight, when I am interested ( and I have never sought a same day appointment unless I have seen the lady before)my number and two other items that are important to me, one GFE and two amount of time I usually enjoy more than on hour at a time.. I have never had a problem and a few times I have been told GFE was not offered so I looked elsewhere... other than that that is the extent of my information gathering... just my two cents

That is to say, Katie, you're a beautiful lass IMHO.  Therefore, my guess is, you have far many more gents vying for your time than others so less desired.

Notwithstanding your valid concerns, I would give you some advise.  YOU are in control, not your gentlemen callers.  Some people are dysfunctional, yes.  OTOH, some are just plain ass holes.  Sounds like you've connected with a few of them.  Just like a pesky telemarketer, if they piss you off, simply *disconnect*.  End of story morning-glory.  It's their loss, not yours.  Eventually the dumb asses will figure it out.  

I agree with many others, a guy's best approach is to put your best foot forward and proceed as though you would with a civilian.  You catch far many more flies with sugar than you do with vinegar.

Still not dysfunctional,

P2

Most especially because I believe that you're correct.

I think that when one is in the business, they automatically think everyone knows how things "should be done."

So someone says I'd like x,y and z.  Maybe they've been disappointed before.  Maybe they like to have everything discussed up front so no one wastes their time.  Maybe they're just control freaks.

The bottom line is that you can always say no or refuse to discuss it. Why would it bother anyone?

Many of us have seen someone where she says Oh its extra for "that".  Next time human nature is to ask if "thats" included. If you don't want to answer, no hard feelings.  Its not a big deal.

Agreeing to universals in sex is kinda like agreeing to universals in politics and religion.  Its just one universal and its the same one across the boards:

Everybody is not going to agree on the same thing.

The thing that surprised me the most when I discovered ladies on the internet and TER is that all the ladies have to tell the guys to bathe, brush their teeth and be a gentleman. Obviously, the ladies wouldn't be saying it unless a lot of the guys need to be told. Makes me embarrased for my gender. So, Universals? Sadly, I'm sure you hear from a huge range of men, from classy gentlemen to barbarians. I think you should ignore the barbarians and spend time with those of us who believe in cleanliness and treating ladies like ladies.

I realize I'm in control. Usually when I get an email mentioning any acts, whether they are tame acronyms like GFE to specifics like bbbj or something, I hit delete or reply with I'm not interested. The reality is, I'm not interested in going down because I let someone slide on mentioning anything.

I honestly prefer what most of the kind gentlemen do- mention they wanted to see me, date, time, give me the screening info, some nice chit chat about what their civvie hobbies/ work is, and plan to meet up at the desired time. That to me is perfection... nice and easy, no having to deal with someone pestering me about well, do you offer this, I only want that... If you truly are a TER gent as many of these men say, then you will have done your homework and will let me do mine on you.

Katie

Lol. Send me a pm. EOM

-- Modified on 3/5/2008 1:36:35 PM

I have friends that call me for advice (the ones that I introduced to hobbying) so hopefully I'm weeding some of these morons out for you.

Either that, or these guys are really bad vice cops.

-M