In order to assure that I get blasted, let me state my bias.

This prohibition on negotiating rates makes no sense to me. Much of the world works on the basis of bargaining for things - you got something, and I want to buy it, so let's make a deal. But I realize this is a major turnoff for most providers, and since the goal is to get everyone turned on, I do not negotiate. Period.

On the other hand, I have told a couple of providers that I would love to see them but their rates are out of my league. End of sentence, end of discussion for me. A couple said they were sorry, hopefully things will improve for me. One immediately cut her prices and then turned out to be a bit of a head case, so that did not work out well either.

Now I am so beyond negotiation, or even experimenting with negotiation, but feel free to slam me for having dabbled in it. Anyway, it has not taken things in a good direction for me, ever.

But I still think about pricing and how it works. I have noted, and it has been discussed at some length here, that there are significant advantages for a lady in having a longer date. I favor meeting for an hour, and I am going to guess it takes a lady at least an hour to get ready and possibly much longer. So assuming she is getting $400 for that hour with me, it works out to an effective rate of $200 per hour, less any hotel expense. Having done the math, I have also figured out that if she gets anything in excess of $200 for a second hour, she has increased her hourly rate even though she gave the poor schmo, me, close to a 50% discount for that second hour.

Some ladies upsell that extra 30 minutes or hour, while others do not. I appreciate the upsell for what it is, and usually surrender to it after some token resistance, purely out of respect for the lady, of course.

So, for any one still reading after the overly long introduction, is it okay for me to say I want an hour but am open to being convinced that a longer date would be better? Seems like it opens the door to a 90 minute or 2 hour offer if she wants, but she does not even need to reply if she prefers not to, and then we both are happy with a 1 hour date.

Or should I just shut my mouth lest I poison our young and promising relationship? The goal is to have a fun time, and as I said, no discount or extra time is worth making the experience less fun.

Thanks in advance for your thoughtful advice.

Your logic here is wildly faulty. Your assumption here is that every date requires a full hour to prepare for. Further, you assume it does in fact take a full hour - no more no less - to prepare for a date. However long a lady may spend getting ready in the morning, does not mean that the same must be repeated after she sees you and before she sees someone else. So this notion of an equal exchange of 1 hour prep for a 1 hour date just doesn't fit. Further, you also fail to take into account the time we spend responding to emails, screening, answering the phone etc. We invest considerably more than an hour of our time per hour we are seeing someone overall.

Multi hour dates have an upside and a downside to them. THe upside of course, is that a 2 hour date is better than a 1 hour date. On the other hand, since most ladies do in fact offer lower rates for additional hours, she is in effect giving up potential income by spending more time with you. In other words, two one hour dates are better than a single 2 hour date in terms of profitability.

There are alot of variables you haven't considered here. High volume versus low volume, and actual time spent managing all the details that go into escorting.

So yes, just shut your mouth as you put it, read her website, and be prepared to pay whatever rate she has listed for multi hour dates, or go with a one hour date if that is your preference. Whatever rate she has set for multi hours is her rate. There is no more sense in attempting to negotiate multi hours than there is in attempting to negotiate her rates for a single hour.

including 1 hr., 2 hrs., 3 or 4-hr. dinner date and somes a +$$ for each hr. over 4 or whatever number she decides on.

Some people are hagglers, some aren't. Negotiating with someone you don't know could result in a better rate, or a session with resentment lurking in the background. In my business, I am much more likely to discount a customer who treats me well and is willing to pay my original price than I am to give a discount to someone who asks for it. I'm not a haggler. I don't ask ladies for discounts or extra time, because I don't like it done to me! Just my 2 cents...

Good luck wth that...

Most providers me included would not discuss rates at any time.Everything is  usually posted on an ad or website so there is no reason to be negotiating and trying to work a deal.I myself if I receive a message inquiring on negotiation of anything I will not respond and would be quite suspicious of this person.If a lady is out of your range why contact her and tell her that?Just go with the lady in your range.If you are requesting an hr and possibly longer time specify that at the appointment.Or see how the hr goes and then go from there.

"Multi hour dates have an upside and a downside to them. THe upside of course, is that a 2 hour date is better than a 1 hour date. On the other hand, since most ladies do in fact offer lower rates for additional hours, she is in effect giving up potential income by spending more time with you. In other words, two one hour dates are better than a single 2 hour date in terms of profitability. "

I disagree with respect to profitability.  The ladies cost is less for a one two hour with one client appointment as compared 2 one hour appointments with 2 different clients. The reduction in donation for  the second hour  is usually nominal (less than $50). Most ladies take this lower cost and reduce effort into consideration in their rate scheme. Ladies who don't discount the second hour are really discouraging longer appointment and that may be intentionally on her part.  It is been my experience such ladies do not have the social or sexual skills to keep a client entertain during the sexual refractory period.

Also with respect to profitability one sure two hour appointment in the hand is better than a single appointment in the hand and the POTENTIAL second one in the bush.

The economics of it does get a little complicated as others have suggested, just like any business overhead isn't just the room she has rented, the time getting ready for the date isn't the only time invested in the date itself. Her billable hours must cover all costs, which includes administrative costs, marketing, expenses (in this case things such as clothing, lingerie, hair, makeup, nails, spas, dentists, doctor checkups, etc.), transportation, any specialty products, etc. Time invested in each date starts long before getting ready as she had to take the photographs for the website that the ad linked to that you saw to call (or email) to contact her (how many times?), to go to get her hair, nails, etc. done to prepare for the date, to reserve the hotel to go to the call, to prepare for the date. Even if you divide up that time to a % per client (say she gets her hair styled 1 for every 5 clients she sees) that may still work out to 5min. on hair per client.

As for why many people do not enjoy negotiating rates I would suggest this is not unique to this industry, rather it is common across many different practices. If you have the time take a look at Dan Arielys paper on 2 Markets, as I have found that in many cases and as is often the case for myself though this is my work I do not like to be reminded this is work and I am in a negotiation. I need to suspend the belief that this is a date, and often when you see someone repeatedly you develop that kind of rapport and familiarity. Negotiating brings in market forces that change the mood or feeling of the date and makes me uncomfortable much like when I am asking a close friend for a discount on their professional services, it's nice if they volunteer their services at a discount but I try not to put them in an awkward situation by asking them for a discount because I am aware it may put a strain on the personal relationship and in this situation there is nothing more personal than sharing my bed with someone.

I don't have a lot of experience with longer dates, but have had a few. Guess the main reason is that they are expensive. Secondly, think the old saying that you are not paying an escort for sex, but to leave afterwards has some truth to it. I may like you, and the idea of spending an overnight date with you may sound great, but know damn well my jokes, stories, etc. are not that great to milk out over several hours, and I don't want my dates to be like that.

Had some luck with going for a middle ground though. She may not have a three hour rate per se, but if you just multiply her hourly rate by the number of hours you are thinking about, knowing it will be longer once everything else is factored in, and ask, may be a place to start the conversation. Worked for me once, and it was a fun date, but didn't break the bank either.

I would select door #1 if I knew you were behind door #1.  You are cute with a nice a$$ and soft natural breasts.  Next time I'm in Vegas we will have to meet.

I would have to agree with Sin I'm not gonna try to negotiate with a lady that doesn't discount longer dates.  If a lady doesn't  offer discounts on multihour dates there is probably a reason for it.  Like she does not like them, or she would rather be high Volume or she may simply be no good at them,  Either way all 3 reasons that would cause me to keep looking.
Doc

The actual question as stated by the OP is:

"So ... is it okay for me to say I want an hour but am open to being convinced that a longer date would be better? Seems like it opens the door to a 90 minute or 2 hour offer if she wants, but she does not even need to reply if she prefers not to, and then we both are happy with a 1 hour date."

This doesn't even sound like negotiation. A lot of ladies only post 30 min and 60 min rates. There could be a lot of reasons for that. But be that as it may, we can't automatically ASSUME that she wouldn't appreciate the opportunity.

Furthermore, the OP is making no reference to negotiating that rate -- he is simply asking the woman what that rate would be -- if anything.

My personal feeling is that it is not harmful to propose to a woman an opportunity to make more money from you than she would otherwise make so long as she is free to decline.

which never ceases to amaze me, JG. LOL!



HalhHour

The market has proven itself to support her lack of discounting multi-hour dates and so long as the market supports a flat hourly rate for dates up to an overnight, there's no reason to throw that gift away!

I think the most common sense reason ladies charge what they do (however they do it) is that the market supports that structure for them.  If it didn't, they'd change their structure!  If a structure doesn't work for a given consumer, shop elsewhere.  It's pretty simple.

As to the OP's question:  Simply decide how much time you want, ask the rate for that time and then decide if you'll pay it.  Booking an hour and then mentioning you're open to having your mind changed is a very passive aggressive way of saying you *want* more time but are going to make her jump through hoops to "convince" you to book it (dropping her rates, performing in ways she's uncomfortable with, etc).  I would find it very distasteful.  If you're going to attempt to negotiate, at least be man enough to do it in a forthright fashion.

-- Modified on 11/16/2010 4:25:26 PM

I'm sorry. I had to blurt that out.

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Dread when a guy tries to haggle my rates. Especially if I am running specials. I understand that there are situations in life where you can bargain prices. But this is so not the Flea Market!

I am on the other hand, always willing to negotiate on my multiple hour/ overnight appointments, but other than that, I think my rates are pretty fair for the compassionate service I offer.

Some good points. In comparing two 1 hr dates to 1 two hour date, some providers don't consider their most important factor, their time. For 2 one hour dates they have to spend time to research references, prep  between the first and second as well as travel between the two locations. Time, gas, resources, etc.

One 2 hour date is more efficient than two 1 hour dates.