I've read a ton of them based on the good advice of the vets around here.  But I have to admit, I find many are as comical as they are informative.  I ran into this just now and it just about made me spit my lunch onto my computer.  


"She went down on me and after several warnings took my ferocious cum shot all the way down her throat - not a drop spilled."

Not only did she get several warnings.....his cum was "ferocious!"  You have to admit, the entertainment value is worth the price of VIP alone.  

And I'm not hating on those who write reviews at all.  They are doing everyone a great service.   I just find many of them completely entertaining.  It's almost if many a reviewer is re-living the experience as it is written.  Nothing wrong with that, but you can't fault a guy for having a good laugh.

Another thing is lot of review scores are over inflated. A lot of guys feel that they will hurt provider's feelings by giving them honest reviews. In reality they are doing a disservice to fellow mongers.

So when you read these reviews, take them with a grain of salt and also go an see other reviews posted by the same guy to see if he gives out 5s ad 6s or just 9s and 10s.  No matter how experienced the guy is at choosing the providers, he is bound to have a mediocre date every once in a while...

I'm always a champ for taking his huge penis or the length he was able to go at it for...we are the champions, my friend...LOL

Penthouse forum, c'mon.

"I was a senior at a small midwestern college, and I never thought this would happen to me"

"Her heaving breasts glistened in the moonlight streaming through the window as I pinned her against the dresser and forced her hot lips apart with my own" (Wait, that's a harlequin romance...)

Oh, how about this: "Her nimble fingers opened my fly, and my engorged tool sprang out, knocking over a desk lamp".

You gotta admit, it's better than "With my enormous belly in the way, I couldn't quite reach her pussy with my 4.5 inch semi-flaccid cock, so I pressed my hips downward and was able to thrust a little against her inner thigh. She shouted 'get a condom', but when I heard her say the word 'condom', it was too late for me and I shot a full teaspoonful into her bellybutton."

damn, now I'm getting heated up...

I knew I would only be good for one round with _______, but it was a delightful 20 minutes of Grecian perfection.

______________________


I can't get enough of this.

It is hilarious.  All the guys really want to know is how the provider performed.  But many reviewers don't mind telling everyone how they performed.  LOL.

One of my all time favs is where a guy said that he shot so far that he almost gave himself a facial.  LMAO.  

Not surprising, but there are some real gems out there!

"With my enormous belly in the way, I couldn't quite reach her pussy with my 4.5 inch semi-flaccid cock, so I pressed my hips downward and was able to thrust a little against her inner thigh. She shouted 'get a condom', but when I heard her say the word 'condom', it was too late for me and I shot a full teaspoonful into her bellybutton."

Now that is more like it...if reviewers reviewed how it really was, everyone would be better off.

And the term load...since when has a teaspoon full been classified as a load, and I will go as much as two teaspoons for the well hydrated guys? Geez what in the heck do people call it when a lady squirts? There is so much more than a mere teaspoon or two full. Maybe it should be called a tsunami of lady come in keeping with the gross exaggeration.

I do expect my commission on this

Your last paragraph is spot on...and I would have posted it before you...but I'm moderated  LOL

That doesn't let you off the hook however...I want my commission!!!

swear to god!

but you left out how he also got her to cum 5 or 6 times as well.

Must have been his ginormous pecker  

Maybe his silvery tongue?

Or just his overall studly good looks and Michael Phelps physique  LOL

WARNING TO ALL YOU REVIEWER STUDS...Don't go to a M & G...that kills the whole fantasy of reading those pathetic reviews.  I want to envision that guy as the stud he claims to be  

Lost track of time as I DATY and gently rimmed her - her eyes told me that she's chosen the right profession.

_______________

LOL.  I'm guessing this wasn't one of London Rayne's reviews.

While I have grown to appreciate their informative value (i.e. types of services offered and quality of performance), I really haven't made more than one attempt to write/submit a review. That one attempt at submission was of a special lady who was my ATF at the time and with whom I made my reentry into the hobby after many years. I thought I had written a very complimentary review of her along with a few constructive criticisms for improvement, just to be objective. On balance, I thought it was fair, unbiased and would have encouraged many would-be clients to see her. However, the reviewers shot it back to me for a rewrite. They wanted me to include more blow-by-blow graphic details. I wasn't about to turn it into a piece of literary pornography so some horny hobbyists could wank off under their table/computer desk until waiting to save up to see her.That's degrading, in my opinion. Besides, even if it was P4P, I felt it was something special between us that I had no desire to share details. I see that as part of the discretion that a gentleman should have with a lady - even if it is between client and provider. With other providers, they wanted to stay UTR as much as possible, or they didn't want it advertised that they may have performed services with me (BBBJ) that they didn't offers to all their customers. I could only respect their wishes and requests. My ego doesn't require that I have a long list of approved reviews, or reviews of the really popular ladies. I see who I think I will enjoy being with and whatever happens BCD stays there. I try to be a gentleman, not a meat inspector.

Don't take a lot of it literally.  Sometimes reviewers use hyperbole with their wordings. It does sound more fun though.

You're not the only one.....LMAO.
_____________

"Can I go in there?" She said "You read my reviews didn't you?" I told her I did and I told her that I haven't had too much success with Greek in the past because of my size. Not to brag but as well as being long I've got a nice girth that can sometimes be a problem for the ladies.