Dear 2K1 ...
Thank you for your compassion..
I don't know too much about too much, but sometimes I wonder why a much more evolved client puts up with ME, (oops I forget, he is thinking with his other brain, lol!)
I believe that deep down we were all once innocent. Many of us got so hurt that we turned away everything, never let anyone else in. Ultimately a losing proposition. So in this realm (and some others) we are all seekers. In different ways. Judging will ultimately not heal us. Case by case, mindful assessment is what can take us each to that higher level. Unfortunately, it requires the mind/timespace that forces many of us to feel compressed.
My telltale hombre/client was a desperate man who was in so much emotional pain and so horribly rude to me, physically abusive, but no damage, had a physical deformity, and it must have become a reason to him for to strike ... yet those of us whose deformities don't blatently show, might act the same, but for their aspiration to character. A long term and possibly karmic proposition...(I've been dying to make that statement for a long time, heheh.)
Fortunately, clients seem to be the seekers, can I blame this poor man when I have suffered through more with nonclients? I just want the other ladies to steer clear. Incidentally, and very importantly, the last two nonclients I have met (dated, danced with) I have told to date escorts so they can learn to treat a woman properly.
Now the revelation, I know a client who frequents the same salsa clubs I do, and he is nothing but if not a higher elevation of the most perfect and desireable client!!! Again, a Case by case assessment. Painstaking but worth it.
Speaking about character, I was emailing with another provider tonight and we discussed this one...always wondered why some clients will short us ladies $10 or $20 (Mathesar, your statistics say what about 3.7 and so forth...Help!!!), but these same males make a great point on reviews of mentioning everything in detail on reviews, ...yet SOMEHOW they had not the attention to detail, (the $10 - $20) beforehand; and no it wasn't about revenge or money, unless the review was, and neither one of us ladies counts the money before.
Interesting...counting the money...90% of my clients are lovely. I dont have to count the cash. I just count the cost. But Gentlemen, think we ladies do notice the nuances. We do because we are expected to give the nuances. SOOOOOO afterwards, when we count the cash, it tells us what you thought of us. Do we get a message? YeS! What do you think of yourselves?
A sweet story...I had a client call me (after making an appt) and tell me that he didn't remember his pin number and did I accept credit cards. Well I dont take cards, but we talked, I tried to make it easy on him, and he totally made it work, quickly. He even thanked me for helping me make it work.
Yes, i do believe that I have been healing my wounds being in this business (interesting). But the internet, discussion and connection facilitated the magic. Sometimes I give way more, and get wounded more, only to realize that I must somehow find my way and it takes a higher consciousness; Many many times, in fact more than I can count, my clients are the angels who are that higher consciousness. They found me through the internet. the information overload, blessing/curse. I had two angels come to me today. It restored my energy, my question if I was still wanted/needed. Yes, it takes some prayer, well at least some strong heartsong.
2k1, Thank you for the compliment and recognition of the work it takes to create good karma ... and I will have the audacity to say that on Heather's behalf.
xoxo
ff
-- Modified on 7/2/2001 12:56:06 AM
Felicia, you do have a way with words and much thanks for adding my appreciation to 2k1 who indeed is a sweetheart.
I was watching a special recently on a musician who's mom said that at first she hated the fact that her son was a rock star because she wanted him to speak the Christian word. He now heads up one of the most popular mainstream alternative bands, Creed. She now says that he probably touches more people as a rock star than he ever could had he become a priest.
I try to think of that when I work. We all have unique opportunities to touch people emotionally, artistically etc etc and this career choice has allowed me the opportunity to reach out to others. Not all men are looking for a special experience. Some are coming from "hurt" places and lashing out as you indicated. I really can't explain why some guys do or say the things they do but I do think that someone has to have been treated pretty aweful in his or her life to then carry with him or her such anger. I'm not angry at these people. I think if one took some time to sit down and talk to them, one would see that they might have been terribly wounded, maybe by a woman, a parent or a supposed friend. Being a good escort, is about filling in the little holes in people's lives. When trenches exist, I have to realize I tried to do my part but that I'm not God. I'm just a girl with a web site a mighty cool dog.
HB
...to do this. It's not always easy, that's for sure, but the good experiences way out weigh the bad. It's just that the bad ones are memory grabbers. It's a risk inherent with the business, I guess. But we truly appreciate the kind words of encouragement from our brethren! That does make a difference!
BTW... hate to do this... but anyone here familiar with SFRedbook? Talk about guys who don't know how to be kind to the sisterhood! Wow. Some of the discussion is really interesting cuz the board is pretty much unedited. But some of the flames are so ugly, it's almost as abusive as the physical violence that women sometimes suffer. That kind of hatred is so foreign to me... and I came from a very unloving, dysfunctional religious home. (In other words, there's no excuse for unwarranted hatred and hostility. Everyone's responsible for their own healing!)
How does that saying go: You're not what you think you are, but what you think: you are. XO Faye Desiree
I think the reasons are quite simple. You can say Sandra is a bitch! I will still live in my home and have a life. If I said John Jacob Jingle Hiemer Schimt is looney, he will loose his job, his wife, his kids, and his reputation. After all we now know he is a "John". Who cares that everyone knows Sandra is an Escort. Get it? I use my alis and you use your real name.
