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LMAO EOM
Dr Who revived 1297 reads
posted
1 / 33
I am in dire need of help....seriously...no joking

The day has arrived that I have finally been seriously dumped on by a hooker that I fell in love with.  Now some of you may think that this can't happen...but trust me..I have fallen so fucking hard that I may need plastic surgery to put my head back on straight.  

So I've given up my entire life for this hooker...and yesterday she tells me that she fucking hates my guts, and then proceeded to fuck my brains out.  I thought that was so bizarre and asked her what that was all about.  Seems she was reacting to a challenge from another TER member from Hawaii...and won.  I asked her while she was blowing me why she wouldn't make eye contact.  And she commented that if I had shaved my pubes she would be much happier.  But alas...it seemed too late for saving this disaster.

Now you might think this is just another run of the mill Hooker tale.  But you Don't Understand that My proviDer Is speciaL.  My prOvider Really Loves mE.  There's no one iN the World likE heR.  She is MY PROVIDER!!!!!

So I decided to see if I could convince her to stop hooking, and she only wants to fuck strange.  So strange in that she is looking for gang bangs.  I  asked her what the attraction is...and all she said was "Well...If YOU don't know".  WTF...I don't know  LOL

Anyhow, I wanted something to memorialize my $ 400,000 that I've paid her over the past few years so I wanted to snap a few pics.  But to my shock and amazement Aldo Antonio fucking shows up...and then Santillo as well.  Oh well, I did get a few nice blurred photos for posterity sake.  And you should see the pics Aldo took of me...well, if you PM me I may share them with you.  But don't tell Devin Davette...she'll be jealous.

But I still can't help but wonder why in the world she won't stay with me.  She did comment that my postings on TER are abusive and abrasive...yet she would contribute regularly using an alias.  I suspect some of you actually know who she is now?

Well...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Your thoughts, if any?

Dodge_This..... 760 reads
posted
2 / 33
Please....

http://www.mentalhealthchicago.org/information-hotline/crisis-hotline

Dr Who revived 600 reads
posted
3 / 33
I did ask her if I could get her into that clinic

What hooker would give up $ 400k?

Hey...are you her?

New alias?  

Please come back...I'll shave my ass crack for you...seriously  LOL

anydos 638 reads
posted
4 / 33
Simple. You just need to start stalking her.

Hang around outside her incall and then go knock on her door 5 minutes after her client shows up.  This will prove to her the depth of your undying love and unshakable conviction.  Make sure and point out that her client is a fat old guy with no game and that you are hot.  Then offer to jack off while her client fucks her BB as you lick his balls.  

Believe me brother.  Get ready to live happily ever after with YoUr ProviDeR.

7531598246 17 Reviews 688 reads
posted
5 / 33
???

What am I missing...?

seduceurwife 524 reads
posted
6 / 33
WTF?


END OF MESSAGE

Panthera12 482 reads
posted
7 / 33
I told you to join Mensa

and to stay off those polluted beaches in New Jersey. Why don't you buy her a puppy?

Panthera12 55 reads
posted
8 / 33
Of course she is. (e)


END OF MESSAGE

inicky46 61 Reviews 458 reads
posted
9 / 33
Re: I told you to join Mensa

LOL! Love it!

89Springer 428 reads
posted
10 / 33
Get a 12" pecker

Get yourself a penile implant so you're 12". She'll stay. That or she'll use it to hang laundry.

Dr Who revived 461 reads
posted
11 / 33
Some lessons have to be learned

Guess I've learned mine

Roger that?
Posted By: Panthera12
and to stay off those polluted beaches in New Jersey. Why don't you buy her a puppy?

inicky46 61 Reviews 450 reads
posted
12 / 33
Re: Get a 12" pecker

No. She won't. A 12" pecker would be a curse.  Mine is already too big.  And it ain't no 12"!

89Springer 432 reads
posted
13 / 33
Re: Get a 12" pecker

[Foghorn Leghorn voice ]That...I said that was a joke, son! [/Foghorn Leghorn voice]

dantananot 12 Reviews 362 reads
posted
14 / 33
Roll with it, she'll come around to your way of thinking...

Dude you're a stud with money.  You can talk taxes and I'll bet you know your wines.  She's playing hard to get.  Relax, it's on!

BecketMA 563 reads
posted
15 / 33
Too Much

There is lots of accurate info about ADD on the internet. My guess is that you could consider if some of your life patterns have a high positive correlation with those of adult ADDers. By chance, if you are taking ADD medication, adding stimulants like caffein can exacerbate negative Consequences.

If that isn't applicable and you haven't pulled a Richard Pryor, seriously, quietly and discretely inquire if the quality/quantity of your professional wok has deteriorated.  BECAUSE what you have written is severely disjointed.

IF you are still adequately functioning as a gainfully employed CPA--THANK GOD!! FREE, YOU ARE FREE AT LAST!! Free of in a self-distructed life style.  

Since you were able to accumulated $400K to shovel into her life in just a few years, you can either find a younger woman that looks like her to marry and then divorce, you will have lots of photos to verify that disaster, or find a sugar-baby willing to under go plastic surgery to make her look exactly like your ATF and have plentiful pixs of the surgery results.

Another option to exercise your deep rooted self-distruction urges is to do what normal Americans with a lot of discressionary funds do, buy a hole in the ocean that you shovel $$$ into, a BOAT!!  Afraid of water, get a moving hole you shovel $$$ into, FAST and LOUD!!

Now, if you are REALLY dedicated to dancing with the devil and making the dance go FASTER!! heron is the way to go! Pryor tried that life style until he lit his balls and the rest of him self on FIRE!!
 
.

89Springer 377 reads
posted
16 / 33
I'm new here. Are you one of the sane ones or the crazy ones? eom


END OF MESSAGE

RedheadBombshell See my TER Reviews 489 reads
posted
17 / 33
Oy! Good ol' train-wreck about to accelerate.

All I ask is five mins. to nuke the popcorn, then let 'er rip kids.

RedheadBombshell See my TER Reviews 446 reads
posted
18 / 33
And furthermore...

The Cat: "We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be, or you wouldn't have come here.

Accept and enjoy the chaos or let it alienate you from the opportunity to learn from the diverse community.
Not a one, being perfect, yet each, contributing their perspective.  

'Sides, they crack my lil A$h up, so there ya go!

ZoePiers See my TER Reviews 482 reads
posted
19 / 33
Well now you know..We dont sell just sex..


END OF MESSAGE

lungman 10 Reviews 473 reads
posted
20 / 33
My thought is,

the providers that I stalk are giving me a hard time about it, WTF, I thought that was what this whole john loves hooker thing is all about.
I'm never taking advice from CPA again. ( he told me stalking is cool )

inicky46 61 Reviews 467 reads
posted
21 / 33
Duh. (eoDuhM)


END OF MESSAGE

oldted 16 Reviews 466 reads
posted
22 / 33
Is Aldo hiring? eom

Posted By: ChgoCPA
The day has arrived that I have finally been seriously dumped on by a hooker that I fell in love with.  Now some of you may think that this can't happen...but trust me..I have fallen so fucking hard that I may need plastic surgery to put my head back on straight.    
   
 So I've given up my entire life for this hooker...and yesterday she tells me that she fucking hates my guts, and then proceeded to fuck my brains out.  I thought that was so bizarre and asked her what that was all about.  Seems she was reacting to a challenge from another TER member from Hawaii...and won.  I asked her while she was blowing me why she wouldn't make eye contact.  And she commented that if I had shaved my pubes she would be much happier.  But alas...it seemed too late for saving this disaster.  
   
 Now you might think this is just another run of the mill Hooker tale.  But you Don't Understand that My proviDer Is speciaL.  My prOvider Really Loves mE.  There's no one iN the World likE heR.  She is MY PROVIDER!!!!!  
   
 So I decided to see if I could convince her to stop hooking, and she only wants to fuck strange.  So strange in that she is looking for gang bangs.  I  asked her what the attraction is...and all she said was "Well...If YOU don't know".  WTF...I don't know  LOL  
   
 Anyhow, I wanted something to memorialize my $ 400,000 that I've paid her over the past few years so I wanted to snap a few pics.  But to my shock and amazement Aldo Antonio fucking shows up...and then Santillo as well.  Oh well, I did get a few nice blurred photos for posterity sake.  And you should see the pics Aldo took of me...well, if you PM me I may share them with you.  But don't tell Devin Davette...she'll be jealous.  
   
 But I still can't help but wonder why in the world she won't stay with me.  She did comment that my postings on TER are abusive and abrasive...yet she would contribute regularly using an alias.  I suspect some of you actually know who she is now?  
   
 Well...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  
   
 Your thoughts, if any?

Back_In_Black 321 reads
posted
23 / 33
u have excellent taste sir . serene is lovely ! u country

Boys , do it with style ! and sweet too, serene that is .  

L8r old ted .
Posted By: oldted
 
   
Posted By: ChgoCPA
The day has arrived that I have finally been seriously dumped on by a hooker that I fell in love with.  Now some of you may think that this can't happen...but trust me..I have fallen so fucking hard that I may need plastic surgery to put my head back on straight.    
     
  So I've given up my entire life for this hooker...and yesterday she tells me that she fucking hates my guts, and then proceeded to fuck my brains out.  I thought that was so bizarre and asked her what that was all about.  Seems she was reacting to a challenge from another TER member from Hawaii...and won.  I asked her while she was blowing me why she wouldn't make eye contact.  And she commented that if I had shaved my pubes she would be much happier.  But alas...it seemed too late for saving this disaster.  
     
  Now you might think this is just another run of the mill Hooker tale.  But you Don't Understand that My proviDer Is speciaL.  My prOvider Really Loves mE.  There's no one iN the World likE heR.  She is MY PROVIDER!!!!!  
     
  So I decided to see if I could convince her to stop hooking, and she only wants to fuck strange.  So strange in that she is looking for gang bangs.  I  asked her what the attraction is...and all she said was "Well...If YOU don't know".  WTF...I don't know  LOL  
     
  Anyhow, I wanted something to memorialize my $ 400,000 that I've paid her over the past few years so I wanted to snap a few pics.  But to my shock and amazement Aldo Antonio fucking shows up...and then Santillo as well.  Oh well, I did get a few nice blurred photos for posterity sake.  And you should see the pics Aldo took of me...well, if you PM me I may share them with you.  But don't tell Devin Davette...she'll be jealous.  
     
  But I still can't help but wonder why in the world she won't stay with me.  She did comment that my postings on TER are abusive and abrasive...yet she would contribute regularly using an alias.  I suspect some of you actually know who she is now?  
     
  Well...that's my story and I'm sticking to it.  
     
  Your thoughts, if any?

oldted 16 Reviews 319 reads
posted
24 / 33
Peace out? eom


END OF MESSAGE

FlaSailorRon 24 Reviews 397 reads
posted
25 / 33
I agree,

You are in need of dire help.  Run, don't walk to your local mental health professional.

undertheradar2 21 Reviews 529 reads
posted
26 / 33
That's one of the best rants I have read.. :)


END OF MESSAGE

DDGFE 325 reads
posted
27 / 33
LMAO EOM


END OF MESSAGE

londonheather 444 reads
posted
28 / 33
O M F G

Listen I stopped reading at fell in love with, what is wrong with you guys we are not here to be fallen in love with we are here to provide you a brilliant service and any guy who is mug enough to go along with any of that crap deserves whet they get. Go have a brill time lay your money down then go off and date a lovely chic.

Dr Who revived 437 reads
posted
29 / 33
Should have kept reading LOL

And read it as a completely sarcastic post  ;)

Here's a hint...look at the topics of the prior four or five threads and you'll see the irony.

Just don't tell anyone that it is all bullshit...it's our secret  :D
Posted By: londonheather
Listen I stopped reading at fell in love with, what is wrong with you guys we are not here to be fallen in love with we are here to provide you a brilliant service and any guy who is mug enough to go along with any of that crap deserves whet they get. Go have a brill time lay your money down then go off and date a lovely chic.

89Springer 418 reads
posted
30 / 33
Re: O M F G

If I pay extra will you fall in love with me? If so, how much extra? If that's too much, how much just to go steady?

anonymousfun 6 Reviews 490 reads
posted
31 / 33
Good luck and enjoy your story and be proud

that you can write fiction.

Dr Who revived 462 reads
posted
32 / 33
Nothing gets past you LOL

But considering all of those "stories" are taken from the four or five prior threads...maybe there is some truth in them?

I can't believe that all the members here post up fiction.

Well..except for the dudes that claim to give her multiple O's....and those same dudes who achieve 5 pops in an hour.  But it could happen....right?  LOL

I'm still pissed at perfectstorm....he was supposed to expand on his threads...he didn't  :(
Posted By: anonymousfun
that you can write fiction.

BecketMA 412 reads
posted
33 / 33
“You can't hoard fun." It doesn't have any shelf life.”

“Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

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