So I've been seeing this provider for about two months, and have had 5 encounters with her in that time.  

I've really enjoyed my time with her as we seem to gel really well together.  In addition to great sex we've had cool conversations about all sorts of things and I have felt very comfortable being with her which is probably more important to me than just "intense sex....and then...see you next time."  She's been very open about herself, which I appreciate, and I've never felt the need to be someone other than myself, and she's never been a clock-watcher.  Each session has added a piece in to the puzzle about her as a person and what her non-provider life may be like which makes it more interesting for me.

Last week I called her a couple of days in advance to book a multi-hour session with her (my first multi-hour).  She lives quite a distance from me and we usually meet when she either works closer to her home area or when she travels out to my neck of the woods to work.  Either way it has been worth the minimum hour travel to see her.  There are plenty of providers in my area but I've found myself wanting to see her, and her only in these last couple of months.  I always leave a happy camper looking forward to our next encounter.   I call her to let her know what I'm looking for and she agrees.  I call the next day to confirm our time the following day and she tells me that she's "looking forward to seeing me."

On the day of our appointment, as I'm about ten minutes from her hotel, she sends me a text apologizing that she's running about a half hour behind.  No problem, I tell her.  I'll wait.  A half hour turns into and hour, and then 90 minutes.  I call her a few times after waiting 45 minutes, and then an hour, and so forth to make sure everything is ok.  Nothing.  At this point I'm a bit worried that something bad has gone down.  It seemed really odd to me that we had set everything up and spoken the night before and she had just sent me a text before our set time......and then she goes completely dark on me.  I check the ad board that she normally posts on, and she hasn't announced herself as being available yet, which I initially was glad to see thinking that she was going to wait until after our late morning session before opening up shop.  I'm completely perplexed at this point wondering what could possibly be happening.  This has never happened before as we've become quite comfortable with one another carrying on phone conversations like two friends, so cold-feet on her part didn't make sense.

I send her a final text letting her know that I was going to leave, and still nothing.  I wasn't mad, but rather just a little bummed out, and confused as to what may have transpired with her.

About three hours later I check the ad board, and there she is.  Her post is up, but she's in another part of town.  Now I'm really confused.  I call her again to no avail.  I send her a text expressing my confusion, and how I had been looking forward to seeing her all week.  Nothing.

I know a lot of you will think to yourselves, "the provider has no need to explain herself!" or "whatever shit may have happened to her is none of my business and I just need to get over it and move on!"  And I would agree if this were a first encounter or even a second encounter with someone who is still relatively unfamiliar, but this wasn't the case.  I haven't called her since and it's been a few days now.  NCNS is pretty shitty, but I don't want to walk away from this one just yet.  We've had a lot of fun together, and I'm hoping this was just an anomaly.    

Any thoughts to an explanation?

screwed you over (traveling that far sounds like effort on your part), she may just feel bad and embarrassed and doesn't want to talk to you just yet and be all apologetic.

I had a meeting once with someone and had confirmed all the way until 30 minutes before, then had a personal emergency (not health related but it was my brother asking for a favor and I'm a sucker when it comes to that), I felt awful about it, and knew I didn't want to share the reason for completely canceling because it wasn't so much an emergency in everyone's eyes.  

I knew I had screwed him over so I just said, ok there goes that, I won't ever see him again. He kept calling and calling afterwards, and I still wasn't comfortable. He finally called me on Friday and I'm ready to try again. In short, it was probably a stupid reason and she may feel embarrassed to tell it to you thinking you're going to be angry because what's important to her may not be important to you.

END OF MESSAGE

Who knows why she stood you up and is ignoring you. The possibilities are endless.

I would favor a black box interpretation here —i.e., none.  Behavior is behavior.  Whatever the back story here —whatever alleged reasons or justifications the lady may cite for what at minimum counts as a fundamental lack of consideration, whatever explanation, if any, may be offered— it really doesn't matter.

In essence, the writer of this post has served up another cautionary tale about the dangers of mistaking a pay-per-play relationship for a "regular relationship, whatever that is.  As for the history of this relationship, if there's some magic number of encounters that defines the point at which the nature of the relationship ceases being a mere transactional one and becomes sentimental, I don't believe that is mentioned in the current edition of The Official Provider Handbook.

As for walking away, it seems that the provider has done exactly that, perhaps sparing the writer the agony of deciding to do so himself.

True, but I'm actually looking to hear from providers if this sort of incident has occurred in the past for them and what may have led to it.

calling or texting a client that you won't be able to make it, but it is the decent thing to do. You certainly wouldn't leave a friend in your personal life, a relative or a business appointment hanging like that. Why then is it OK to just "blow off" a client?

It hasn't happened to me in a while, but it is unacceptable and unprofessional.

You seem quite smitten with her, you will have to decide if you want to contact her again after some time passes. If she still refuses to answer your calls/emails, she may have decided she doesn't want to see you.  

Even if that is the case, she should let you know.

Good luck!

END OF MESSAGE

Cosette's answer fills the bill but I fail to see how her personal experience has anything to do with yours, or rather, the escort in question.  Like I said the possibilities are endless.

Seems like you were crossing into a zone of familiarity she realized she didnt share with you.   Its not the best way to do it, but whether she is breaking off a business relationship that did exist or a personal one that didn't, shes using the proven method of no longer taking your calls.  Time to move on son.

She doesn't owe you an explanation...and even if she finally offers something up it'll be some goofy story.  You're NOT her BF or SO...you are simply a john who she pretends to like when you are paying her to do so.  From the gist of your story she is VERY good at that illusion.

Move along now and find another gal to play with.  If after a few months you want to circle back and see her...go for it.  But to do so simply to get a real response why she blew you off is not a reason to circle back.

This happens often in P4P...especially when johns get too close and personal.  Take the hint and learn what this game is all about.  If you need a GF to babble with...try match.com!  Otherwise take stock in how YOU may have appeared to her, and why she may indeed have decided you're just too big a PITA.

is the norm. Calling before or soon after is just so easy and prevents misconceptions (even pain) on both sides. I wish we could all act like grownups and just communicate!

Let her know you'd like to hear from her, and give her some space. If she felt close to you, she'll let you know. Meanwhile, enjoy yourself. She isn't pining away for you.

or as if that is necessary at this point.

and while she doesn't owe him an explanation, at least an apology?  What she did is extremely unprofessional, and while OP may not be respecting his own time, I certainly respect other people's and mine..

Just sayin'...

might be more comfortable replying in writing rather than over the phone.

So far all we have is his....but from the gist of his I suspect that he breached some boundary.  That seems to be a common occurrence in TERland with johns that lose perspective.  From the OP's writing he suggests that "they" spend hours babbling about "their lives"...and I suspect that was paid for by the OP.  

Seems that many gals will show their private lives to some...yet most of the time it's just a figment of her imagination to avoid the clinginess that some dudes can't seem to avoid.  Yet giving enough of a "sad" story to try and make the guy want to pay her more.  It can be a slippery slope...or so I hear  

Given the gal hasn't attempted to contact the john to offer up any explanation....seems like a slam dunk as to why.  The exact reason is not particularly important....the fact that there is radio silence is all that should matter to the OP.

I'd also venture a guess he will get something from her when her cash supply dwindles.  Hopefully he realizes now he is just another john and not terribly important in the hookers life.  Plenty of others out there will be thrilled to give him that illusion for some period of time.  It'll be his call if he wants to become too clingy again.  I also hope that when she finally contacts him, he'll tell her that he's otherwise occupied by "name that hooker"....and not to bother him again.

http://bit.ly/18mVZYu

-- Modified on 12/8/2013 2:41:58 PM

But I was going based on the assumption that what he was telling is the truth.. Even if he has crossed some boundary or other, he still shouldn't have been made to wait for an hour w/o any response.. Its easier on both the parties, hookers and john's to be up front and straight forward, even though, doing the same could be at times difficult and inconvenient.  

I just find a lot easier, and sometimes fun, to tell people to fuck off than ignore them..  

But that's just me..

And you are spot on, about she coming back to him when her cash runs out or when that rent is due..

I've made no contact with her for a few days, but sent her a text today because it's her birthday.  

She responded and apologized.

lingo again are we using? Yep as I suspected. Such class I can't bear it.

so what's in the future? gonna see her again?  I'd still move on, and then circle back after seeing some other providers.

I've had people stand me up too, friends and people in this realm...it sucks and I'm always shocked, but it doesn't mean they're evil, they're immature.

That's why I'm saying, lay off for a while, don't pressure her about the "real" reason, and move on. It's not like she cheated you out of your money, she was just a crappy person to you this one time

Unless there is some great reason I'd say more than apology is in order.

Dude, sounds like alot of the rest of the guys here, your looking for love in all the wrong places. I am not seeing these girls to fall in love, I'm there to fuck, enjoy myself for the hour or two, pay her the money and move the fuck on. Its like your fishing for trout in the ocean. If your looking for love go to church. These are somewhat professional women doing their job, customer in customer out as fast and as often as they want.(no pun intened) You dont owe her any explanation and she doesnt owe you any. Your setting your ass up for a world of hurt. What would you do if you fell in love with one of them, she happens to see an old boy friend from yrs back, they go out and you see them together, are you going to break down and cry like an asshole in public? Your living in a fantasy world and its guys like you that I worry for the girls!  

Pulled shit that wasred my time/money, someone had better have died. Very few events cause such turmoil as not to be able to phone someone.

This bitch is history. They(some)take for granted chivalry

-- Modified on 12/8/2013 5:20:37 PM

Well an apology is a good start.  Life happens, we all know this.  But she MUST HAVE known she stood you up after driving an hour & then asking you to wait.  It is unprofessional & unfriendly to have not gotten back to you quickly with an apology & a cancelation.  For all you know, she might have had to change locations at a moment's notice.  

I think you handled this properly.  Where you go from here is up to you.  I generally have a few Favorites that I cycle between which gives me a break from the intensity & a fallback in case of unavailability.  

I had a well reviewed provider blow me off...  we were booked the night before & I was to call in the morning to get her location.  She never picked up or got back to me.  The result was I wasted an opportunity.  A simple message:  "Sorry.  Change of plans.  Can't make it!" would have been sufficient.  I've never gotten any message.  My response to her rudeness is she is on MY personal  DNS list.  Not even if it was FREE.  Because I will not risk an opportunity with a disrespectful provider.  

I've had plans fall apart before but always communicated honestly & at the first opportunity.  And I continue to see those gals.    

END OF MESSAGE

5 times in 2 months?

maybe too much too soon for her???

Sounds to me almost as if you too were kind of falling in love or at least getting too friendly or too close or something.  So she didn't tell you anything, and she took the easy way out which was to blow you off with a lame excuse for a delay, followed by no contract, so that you would leave upset and never call her again.  No contact is even easier a "text breakup" so to speak.   Of course, as you say, her ad was back up a few hours later.  Imagine that.  Now connect the dots.  

Was it shitty of her to waste your time?  YES.  Does this happen somewhere every single day?  YES.

If it were me, I would "take the hint" and never see her again.  Shit happens.  But don't worry, you are a guy, not a mangina,  therefore you will have another ATF next month.

Seriously, she blows you off and then you text her on her birthday?  ChgoCPA is right. You're just a lonely john who thinks you're more important to this hooker than you really are. This is pay for play. It's nothing else. Move on, quit being a mangina, have some self-respect, and stop making a damn fool of yourself!

From a very easy going dude, who enjoys the hobby, and like most, has experienced wonderful trysts, I offer this bit of advice!  FEW EXPECTATIONS YIELD FEW DISAPPOINTMENTS!  Yes this lady should have been more considerate of his time, and will never win The Golden Vendor Award, but this is an industry where customer service varies ; this is not Nordstroms! Finally, quit labeling him a Mangina; probably is just a naive newbie,

You misread what I wrote.  I said he was NOT a Mangina.  

You don't know what she is thinking. If you contact and you get bad response it will disappoint you more
 

-- Modified on 12/9/2013 9:25:38 AM

Regardless of what anyone posts here, you have made up your mind to try and set up another meeting.

If you can meet with her again, you can ask what happened.

My experience is that some people make up excuses or stories when they do not feel comfortable explaining what they have or have not done and why. some people do not have the same personality all of the time for various reasons one of which can be because of their cycle.

Ultimately you will have to decide if you are willing to go through a similar occurence in the future.

there have been a few times in my life when I have had to accept that someone is exactly the way they are and not the way I want them to be so that I get what I want.  A similar experience in my life is that I cannot reason with unreasonable people--its not a matter of me trying again using different words or a different approach, presenting reasoning stated another way.

There is a woman whose company I thoroughly enjoy with the reputation of not being reliable, and she isn't. It doesn't have anything to do with anyone she makes an appointment with. When I try and set up an appointment it may or may not occur.  Its part of the total donation, funds and living with the uncertainty.

Deprived

Waited until the shit blew over and as always times were tough and she calls me wanting to set up a appointment. I never mentioned the ncns, just acted very pleased to hear from her and set up a 3 hr appointment. She texted about 30 mins before our appointed time and I replied "can't wait to see you". About 10 mins after I didn't arrive she was blowing up my cell wanting to know where I was? I texted back "I'm on the way, running behind" see you in about 30 mins, can't wait to see you". Dragged this shit out for about 2 hrs. My last text was " how do you like it when the foo is on the other shit"? She called, texted, left me messages about what an asshole I was and how I cost her $$$. Well it works both ways.

Living Well is the best revenge!  This has proven true in my professional life as well as my personal life. I have only experienced the NCNS 2 or 3 times.  I have been self employed for 30 years, and the 2 or3 jerks who tried to put the screws to me, in the end, got what they had coming to them!  The best part was I never had to lift a finger! I guess my point is that Karma works both ways.  Karma is a double edged sword.  When I was immature, the temptation to exact revenge was great;  however now that life has been kind to me , it's like live and let live!  A vendor or a provider who is unprofessional
and inconsiderate is not worthy of my time.....EVERYDAY IS A HOLIDAY!

sure, friends, family screw up sometimes, you deal and move on, forgive and forget.  stuff happens.  but you ladies need to know this is a business proposition for us, too.  if a lawyer, plumber, or (and this happened to me in civilian life) a real estate agent blew off an appointment with me that was supposed to be a paid transaction (or the start of a paid relationship) there's no way i would just "deal and move on.  they'll never get my business again.

same way in the hobby i am afraid.  ncns means never again baby!

END OF MESSAGE

i dont wish this to happen to anyone BUT  

About 6-7 yrs ago I hired a painter to do some interior painting work. He told me he had a customer a few months earlier who would not pay him for work he had done. The customer agreed to the amount verbally but when the painter was done he said he would only pay 60% of the total. What an assbag!

The following year  I called the painter back because I had some water/drywall damage that had to be repainted. He told me the guy that stiffed him had some bad luck. A fire nearly burned his house down.  

Yes, karma is a BITCH! (with a 14 inch strap on.lol)

-- Modified on 12/10/2013 10:29:15 AM

In my case,  3 years after I parted ways with the 1st jerk, he was demoted!  He probably could have sued for age discrimination!  2nd Jerk was a Sales Rep with a competitor;  when he was fired, he started his own company, and bragged to everybody how he was going to put us out of business!  Within 2&1/2 years his warehouse burned down, and not having adequate insurance, he was toast! And guess what?  He called me and asked if we were hiring Sales Reps! Yeah right!  Karma sucks doesnt it!

 

that straight forward, do you see people falling in love with their plumbers often, or having mixed feelings about them? So no, it's usually more like a date, and if someone blows you off as a date, but you like them, you are more likely to make an exception. If you're able to treat this as a straight up transaction and it works for you, but sex and friendships rarely are that simple.