Watching the thread on the lack of interest  in the husband and the decline of marital sex and the ensuing comments  from  all bemoaning the very same story, I came up with a possible reason why.

Women get it beaten into them  when they are growing up that they will be labeled sluts and whores for wanting sex....who does this...guys, the very same guys who are happy to USE those very same girls  as  a warm masturbation tool and not really giving any credence to her pleasure...many have admitted this right on this very board, so the term USE here is not inaccurate.

Girls get into high school. They guys play stupid games lying to get laid...yes, using the "I love you"  to again USE her body as a warm masturbation tool and then dump her when something new and shiny walks by.

Young women get into college, guess what, same shit happens only now the ladies are more than well aware of what the guys primarily want and make it harder. Now they start playing games back. But that stigma of the slut / whore thing is still hanging around. Put out and you're a slut but be more selective or not as "easy" and you're a prude, only to be left for a slut and for NOT being a slut.

By now the ladies are pissed and start to give the guys what they want with a long term plan ...suck you in, tell you and show you  “I love sex” and doing all those things he wants...only to get married and then cut em off...poetic justice for all those times a guy has lied and bullshitted his way into a girls pants in the years before. She now knows better and starts to play the game...this time with her spin on it.

So who has the last laugh? There you are, all tied up in a loveless, lacking in intimacy marriage that will cost you big to get out of.

Women don’t forget being used like that...something you guys should have realized by now.  And for those that think I am way off  base...what are you doing on here then, most of you with the very same story?  And those  who are still “hunting”, (never did like that term...women are not prey or should we simply start calling men predators?),  for a female to use for your sexual pleasure and not much else, don’t be surprised at the end result in the future, you were part of the problem a long time ago.

I think all women should start getting paid to be used for sex...(famous words by a well know lady on here), that way, everyone is a winner. No money, no pussy.  Money, you get pussy. We ladies get the financial independence  and not having to rely on the husband all without the emotional baggage of just being used and the guys later in life don’t feel used  as a meal ticket with  no sex.  Hey, I did not create the dysfunction that seems all too pervasive. I am just offering up one solution that can make both sides happy and not so resentful of each other.

And for those who are shaking their heads wondering about love and mutual intimacy...look how it ends up in real life for so many. One bu=ig fucked up game ending with no-one really happy.

And guys remember,  a woman has been treated like that at some point in her life and she NEVER forgets that used and thrown away feeling.

At least hookers get who get used by men that they would  not look at, let alone sleep with, come out of it with something to show for it...good ole cash-a-roonie and for some an orgasm to boot (of which she is not guaranteed)...it’s a win win.

So don’t cry about what you have been a part of for ever. Accept that you reap what you sow and open your wallet to the lady of your choice and rejoice in the fact that you can get laid anytime you want.

Moral of the story...if you don’t want to be used as an ATM with no sex later in life..quit using the ladies as cum dumpsters earlier on.


-- Modified on 10/24/2012 9:43:35 AM

Maybe you think that being married entitles you to sex whenever you feel like it (probably everyday, or multiple times per day) and it gets old.

You still have to treat your wife with respect and do nice things for her.
The loss of interest usually happens when you become a different person than the one she married.

Not to put too fine a point on it but in many cases we are dealing with nothing more than Mother Nature.

Disregarding the puritanical information/ misinformation or flat bullshit that mainstream women who most of us marry simply fall victim to Mother Nature.

Women who believe that sex is a vehicle to procreation, once they reach the level of procreation desired they simply call it quits or slow down to it becomes some sort of oligation carried out on birthdays or Holidays. I truly believe some enjoy sex and continue to engage for as long as they are physically able however the majority of females do not feel this way. It is not because they are being bitches or whatever, they simply do no want to engage it in any longer because the usefulness of the activity has come and gone.

As guys we still have a desire to prove virility and wish to continue to engage many decades past our female partners. We seek various methods to satisfy that desire one of which is utilizing the interaction to be found "here" and elsewhere.

I am certain that some of the ladies here understand the concept I have described and have turned it into a fantastic money making venture. We as hobbyist usually can tell the difference between the mechanical money seekers and those who actually enjoy the activity. I appreciate both types and will for as long as I am physically able.

Just an Old Ugly Fat fuck with an opinion.

I agree with what you said. That respect should start long before marriage. Unfortunately, the formative years are very self absorbed. Guys want sex and will do whatever it takes to get it. Woman are not made that way...for the most part anyway. Many women trade sex for the love and romance they need. When that disappears along with the boyfriend after he has tired of her and has moved on to the next one, she wonders what happened. Then the penny drops and the tables get turned.

It then becomes a battle of the sexes to get what each needs without sacrificing something.

The deep love and romance is alive and well for both of us. The sex has become the issue, and it revolves around a very real physical problem, so....I hobby!

-- Modified on 10/24/2012 2:11:49 PM

That type of brain washing should be illegal. And so should calling young girls sluts and whores for actually enjoying their sexuality..okay not really illegal, but you get my meaning.

My reasoning is not the be and end all, I know that. But it can't be completely discounted. I have heard as much from many, many females throughout my life. They don't call it battle of the sexes for nothing.

I just wish for future generations that both sexes are taught differently but I realize that is never going to happen as long as religion (which can mold societal views) has the steely grip on the majority.

And for more reasons than I posed. Mine is but one of many.

Just as the hookers here represent a VERY small segment of the female population...so does the male posters who are bemoaning the "lack of sex" in their marriages.

While I concur with many of your comments, they only represent one small reason why mongers are indeed here.

And to allude that it is because of shit done over the past 50-100 years in high school and such is laughable.

I do seem to recall this "hobby"...or better yet, prostitution business is the "World's Oldest Profession".

I don't think 500-3000 years ago too many high school bitches were being USED.  Nope...those 15 year old bitches were married to someone.

But good effort.  Now let's see how the mangina boys want to spin this  

... dude who posted the orginal post.

Serpius

But you can guess to your hearts content  

We are not inn the minority (sexless marriage). Quite the opposite. But I will move along to Saturn.

Two questions. First, have your ever stopped to think that maybe the guys you pinned over at sixteen were just assholes? Maybe the guys you would never have fucked wouldn't have treated you like such an object....jmo

Second, why does the blame food loss of intimacy always come back to the man's problem to fix? I'll leave out open ended. answer anyway you'd like.

There are plenty of woman out there willing to put in the work to improve their sex life with their hubby.  But you won't find them here.  I've been on both sides (the one wanting to put in the work to salvage a relationship - and being told that my SO did not want to - and one saying, "sorry, but I just don't think it's going to work out").

Saturn does have a good point re. guys not being able keep their mouth shut.  I NEVER said a word when I got busy with a gal in college.  Why would I?  To make myself look cool in front of my friends?  Whatever.  The cool part was I got to spend intimate time with a chick I dug.  I was rewarded with multiple hook ups plenty of times because they knew they could trust me.  Seriously, they were looking for the same thing I was.....some mutual pleasure.  Do they really deserve to be "trashed" because of that?  I think not.

... it's not spelled majina... it's 'mangina'.

It's not inn... it's 'in'.

It's not pinned... it's 'pined'.

Serpius

Stick to the thread topics...there, now I'm a board (or bored) cop as well!!

My info comes from listening to straight women. I have no clue and just Glad I didn't have to deal with it.

It is not the man's problem to fix. I didn't actually have a solution for the issue but posed a reason for it.

I don't date men so I have no idea. I see men here as the result of what has happened.

I can attest to that. However, if constantly belittled and called names because they do, well you know what happens. They either shut down or end up hookers..lol

IPad predictive text spell check it's what fucked me there.

I doubt this issue of sexuality and its effect on how society gets totally screwed up is going to get settled on here, but I feel you've put your finger on some cosmic truths.

Sex should be paid for (and normally is, though not as equitably as it could.)

The saddest thing is how something that should bring joy and make people happy ends up its opposite so often.

I don't see any quick fixes in sight either.

For now, we have the hobby, and that's about the best we can do.

Best wishes to you.

This issue is the root of plenty of crap and I could not resist.

Men and women for the most part look at sex and love differently and therein lies some of the issues. Men's hormonal surge hits too early for women (lack of technique and the sexual selfishness that comes with more testosterone than one knows what to do with) and women come into their own later but have been subjected to the onslaught and not necessarily good sex in the years previous. Then add the females desire for love and security and well you know what ends up happening. The games the sexes play to get what they want/need.

Biology was not kind, at least I don't think so. I am familiar with the basic reasons why things happen the way they do but we are not rutting animals...we can have sex for pure pleasure that has nothing to do with reproduction. A female has the ability to orgasm and has an organ purely for that purpose and nothing else (no guys it's not her vagina). Don't know any other animal that can (might be apes although not sure).

Really?

There's a better spell check... it's called a brain.

Serpius

Perhaps a woman who had this experience as an adolescent, with adolescent boys, can have a more realistic understanding that adolescents of both genders can in fact “grow up” once those very powerful adolescent hormones settle down a bit.  It’s tough to forget the hurt and anger, but maybe forgetting is not what is necessary.  To improve her ability to have good relationships with men, she might just need to understand that boys are not men, and then find men to be in relationships with.

It is best not to be a prisoner of the past.  If past experiences cause us to have inaccurate beliefs (such as that men are boys), it can be helpful to challenge those beliefs.

Yeah I know...I'm trying to learn this shit though...I figure better to sound like a bumbling fucktard here, then in some email to a customer...I figured no one would even notice...lol

Just look around.

... a cyber bully?

Is this what you like to do to people you don't agree with?

Serpius

... Dr. Joyce Brothers?

Serpius

But I think that a lot of what we might call "immature" behavior in both genders is the result of believing in unchallenged assumptions about what we can expect from ourselves and from others.  Those inaccurate beliefs often come from childhood, but we can challenge them when we reach adulthood.

Some of the nastiest threads were the hookers calling each other out.

And the mangina boys just cowered in the corners  LOL

Last I checked this was still a fuck board...with supposedly adult conversation.

TER would frown upon having "boys" (or girls) under the age of consent on here.

So when you start the posting and interaction hitting on the lesbo's...that's mature?

It's OK...I still love you  

You want to take someone on...stick with me here.

These other fine folks are WAY out of your league.

At least I have dealt with asswipes like you all my life.  So I'm willing to indulge your narcissism more than others.

Care to continue your harassment of the members here?

Hopefully the fine folks at TER Admin are paying attention to your antics.  Leopards simply don't change their spots.  Amazing that TER has banned so many great posters and allowed asswipes like you to change your handle many times along with your aliases.  You add nothing to these boards except entertainment for folks who like to see what constitutes the epitome of assholiness!!

Be careful...I may have to get Achilles involved.  Achilles is a well know agitator who knows how to deal with stalkers!!

Someone you can develop a rapport with.  

till then, here's hoping to see more of you.

what seems like your experiences over the years. There are a lot of men, including me, who never played the games you describe while we were growing up. Some of us never had the opportunity to be a player in the sex games but still ended up the same way later in life. You sound very bitter Saturn and if this is really the way you think of all men, it's a badly skewed viewpoint.

No money, no pussy? You'd really make the human race extinct, lol? The ugly truth is that the human race continues not by women getting paid for sex but because women love their men enough to have unprotected sex and guess what, they do it outside of the hobby where the vast majority of the population plays. Sorry, but biology plays a large part in the sex cycle of life and a lot of women would be offended by being generalized as sluts during HS and college. No guy is going to pay a woman to get pregnant, at least no guy in his right mind. Men want sex but the offspring and the life altering experience of having kids is not something most men are thrilled about. Demand that men pay for all sex and this would be the final generation, lol.

How about this theory... Women use sex to get men to marry them for financial security and once they have the marriage certificate, sex becomes a necessary evil to keep the guy around. Nasty generalization isn't it? In the hobby, women use sex to get money while in civvie life, women use sex to get everything else they want including money. By your theory, no woman really likes sex, it's just a chore they have to do to get what they want in life. Really? Women don't like sex?

My SO was one of your proverbial cum dumpsters long before she met me. Sorry babe, but I never dumped cum in any woman until I met the SO and I married her so that blows your theory out of the water that all men use women as cum dumpsters early in life. Since I didn't commit any of those horrible evil things you claim men do early in life, why am I now in the same boat as every other married guy screwing around here?

Your post comes off making you sound like a man-hater with a horribly skewed view of of the human race.

I don't have anything to do with men outside of work, in an intimate setting that is.  Never have.

This reasoning was from information gathered by mere conversation over the years with women who do and have been involved with men. And of course what I have read/heard over the years. I did not say I personally agreed or disagreed with any of what I imparted.

Thank you for the biology lesson but I am not talking about the general population as it stands. I was making these statements in regard to the no sex from wives angle..two threads somewhere below.

I am well aware of the special loving and sexual bond couples can have but also very well aware of the disasters...look around this board. I also made sure I said. but you might have missed, that my current POV is not the be and end all but one reason why some people have issues surrounding intimacy, sex and relationships. You cannot possibly deny that some men use women and some women use men. Look where you are.

In another post I have openly said women love sex, some women love sex. I love sex. I don't love sex with an inept lover or someone I am not attracted to.

And since you sought to take mild offense to my post, maybe you were one of those adolescent boys who did lie to use a woman for your own sexual needs? Touch a nerve? It's okay you seemed to have grown out of that and are here now cheating on your wife.

So what happened to that wonderful sexual bond you had? What happened to her sex drive? Or is that she is not into you after all these years? Or has she found the chore just too demanding or just plain off putting to be bothered? I gave but one reason...what's the reason your wife is not into you and you're here?

I don't hate men...I don't care that much. However, I could if I stayed on here day after day...that's why I have taken breaks or yes I would, with a passion. And that's why I choose my clients as carefully as some men choose their escorts. This group, bar a few, is not a good representation of mankind. In fact all women should check these boards out before getting into a relationship or marriage. Quite the eye opener into what some men really think about women, relationships and sex.

And conversely they would also see what happens when they refuse sex. Some would be upset and others, well would be glad someone else has taken over that duty....

I am going to be general, because I have no way of meeting all the men on this planet...that's absurd. I am taking one POV, not a crime and not speaking for all women and not necessarily agreeing. I have never experienced any of that so I don't care.

I am afraid I can come across quite bluntly. It does offend some. Others don't mind so much.

... humor, then you need to get a life.

The Dr. Joyce Brothers reference was a JOKE.

Did you read that 3 times?? Did you get it?

Being a cyber bully is not going to win you any points.

Serpius

Err ummm. Damn spellcheck

I enjoy coming here even if it means being subjected to some inanity.

I get many PMs from people who are reticent to post on the boards but like to share things or ask advice, etc.

And besides, the same can be said for you only more so; and you're here still.