I am going to post this with an alias for reasons that will be obvious if you continue to read. The provider involved has good reviews here on TER.  Fragile male ego in need of some feedback, especially from the female perspective.

Relatively new to the hobby, but let's just say I know how the game gets played and I have been able to move the ball into the end zone and score a few times.  Last night, however, did not go well due to my inability to cross the goal line before time on the field ran out.  This is a very sweet lady I have seen before and would definitely see again. But I cannot help but feel down about the way things ended.  There was a mix up on directions (not my fault, but these things happen) that delayed the start of the game.  A full four quarters of action were still provided, but overtime was not an option because another team had made arrangements for the playing field.   Neither the lady nor I were happy about the outcome, but I do not blame her in any way.  She gave it every effort, and she sincerely apologized (despite me telling her not to). I have been around long enough to know that these things can happen, but this was the first time in the hobby it happened to me.  And of course, part of me is embarrassed/humiliated because this girl is about half my age and I was truly looking forward to seeing her yesterday.  I have been with other providers of a similar age bracket where a complete game was not a problem.

Of course, I realize the male superstuds that monitor this board NEVER have such things happen to them! (LOL) And please, I do not need advice about Viagra, etc.  I am aware of such things but I already have access to medical opinions through my doctor.

So how often do the ladies see this kind of thing?  And when it does happen, how do you handle it and how do the guys respond?  Any other advice, feedback, etc? This morning I am telling myself, just let it go, things happen and life goes on.  When you get knocked down in life, on any playing field, you have to get back up and get back into the game.

I appreciate any feedback

I'm a 50 year-old guy. I'll just tell you my experience; perhaps you can get something out of it. From your message I don't know if you're taking Viagra.

When I first started hobbying I found a lady (on a Friday) who I wanted to repeat the following week. I thought that wasn't waht I wanted in hobbying so I went to a hot provider on Monday. It was a great session but my mind was still on that first lady. So I booked for a Thursday session. She tried but I failed to finish. I think, among other factors, too much sex in one week contributed to it. I ordered some Viagra and thought it would help.

For the next month I saw her almost weekly. I take a half-dose before each session and I always finish. . . until one session where I failed and again the following week. She felt bad about it although I reasured her that I had a good time; without ejaculating I experienced multiple orgasms. Besides I got to hold her the whole session.

I cut down the Viagra dosage to quarter, then eighth, doses. Thereafter I never failed to finish. I'm trying to wean off Viagra and have experimented with a dietary suppliment. The sex has been getting better ever since.

Sorry, I know you don't want advice on Viagra but it is part of my story.

PM me if you like to talk more.

I tried and tried and I could not make him cum.

I've seen him before, I knew he was able, so that made me feel frustrated because I didn't provide what he was expecting from me.

But, I think other things played into our session. It started late, he had to be somewhere and he was worried about making on time.

In my experience, the little head has a mind of it's on and if the big head is thinking about work or other things, is NOT going to happen.

Yes, I feel upset when I cannot deliver what a guy wants, but what can I do? It takes two to tango.

If is my fault, I offer another session and I do not accept compensation.

If the problem is his, like he was late and I had to cut the session in half because I have another commitment after, I still feel bad but I joke around a bit and clean him up and tell him next time it will work if we plan our time properly.

-- Modified on 3/11/2006 6:40:52 AM

otherwise, it will happen to you again. Like BDG said, your big head was affecting your "relatively small" head as you were late and worried about the time. This has happened to me a few times.

My latest issue is that I tend to cum quicker these days than before. Do not know why.... I want to keep going longer so that I can satisfy my partner but as I try not to cum quicker, I cum even quicker.. WHF!!

No game in the big head!!!

and get out there and score!

That's an order soldier.

I recently had a session with 2 big named providers where I was able to pass the puck without any problem, but I failed to have even one shot on goal.  My problem was that for the previous 2 days, I was too busy scoring goals with other providers.  

I pride myself on performance.  I work hard for her to score and I surely like to score and score more than once.  So when I didn't score, I started to question my performance.  I even apologized to the provider.  I hope the providers that answer this thread are as sympathetic and understanding as the one I was with.  We spent some time in a big tub in the room and talked.  Enough said that I will definitely see her again.  She put me at ease that we both had a good time (we did) and that I should put my macho attitude away because I had nothing to be ashamed about.  In retropsect, she was right - what the hell was I ashamed of, that I didn't shoot?  At least, according to her, I pleasured her.

So, don't worry about the actual shots on goal.  Sometimes the ladies have a good time and we just fail to see it because we are consumed in our egos.  Let it go.

As for Viagra, no lectures.  I don't use it (or any of its pharmceutical cousins), but can attest that yohimbe, used properly (and buying the right kind), has helped my performance when I go on binges of seeing providers back to back (to back).

Hope this helps.

It doesn't matter if the provider is hot or you're feeling hot, if you have other things on your mind then it was probably the big head (pardon the pun) that got in the way. Just go for another goalie. Wink!

Hugs,
ciara

go duck hunting with me?

There are only two kinds of men in this world: those who at one time or another have been unable to perform and those who someday won't.

Don't sweat it.

Frankly "it" doesn't happen for me about one fourth of the times out, despite heroic efforts from the ladies.  I made a decision early on to not get worked up over it & enjoy the hell out of the attempts.
When "it" doesn't happen I just explain to the lady that it isn't uncommon for me, reassure her that I had a great time anyway (if indeed I did) and spend any remaining time however seems most appropriate.

Like one of the earlier writers said, there are a number of times that IT doesn't happen for me either. On more than one occassion, I have had to look at the providers and say, "I don't think HE is going to finish today." They always seem a little surprised and think it's possibly their fault but I assure them it is not.
I think there are a number of reasons this happens ... age, distraction, rush, stress, trying to often.

I have sometimes seen providers as often as three times a week and more often than not it is the sessions later in the week that I get no response. It maybe that he needs a vacation.

Another reason might be that the hobby or the providers are not as inspiring as they once were.
I hobbied in the VIP room's of Men's Clubs for probably 15 years. It takes a little bit more "fun" to make him work after you have touched and kissed as many boobs and kitties as I have.
All this said however, sometimes everything seems right and IT just doesn't happen. Don't let it frustrate you. Enjoy the lovely provider's company and try again on another day.

TOMC  

How blue do your balls get?

I can't see them for my fat stomach.

which is not allways true.Many things can affect a session.I have been in many outstanding sessions without ejaculation.It's a hell of a lot more fun than blowing too quickly. In my case Antidepressants are the problem.I asked my Doc about those certin sexual side effects in the disclaimers and he told me that they are sometimes prescribed for premature ejaculation.It can be frustrating sometimes but then it can be fantastic others. I have experienced multiple nonejaculatory orgasams durning long sessions which were so intense they seemed to go on forever.The workout is great and sooo relaxing.Being kept at the point of orgasam for sometimes fifteen minutes is something I never would have belived if I hadn't experienced it.I'll take this problem over many others anytime.It doesnt interfer with satisfying her and I love it when a lady takes it as a personal challenge to get me off...  WoW

-- Modified on 3/12/2006 10:25:24 AM

It's the trip, not the destination.

I couldn't agree more.

That's what I tell them: "I have a homework assignemt.  I'll be thinking of you when I finish it."

The fact is, I have a lot of trouble cumming in mutual sex, so that's like par for the course for me.

Did I miss something -- I thought Bill could get aroused by the crack of dawn. To be able to do Monica he deserves a (wet, slightly pussy-flavored) cigar.

it makes it less likely I'll cum, but I sure can keep it up forever. For that reason I avoid it too. I think most providers would rather have me finish than screw for an hour and not finish, if those were mutually exclusive choices. Ironically, I probably would get more fun out of lasting the hour. Orgasms are over-rated.


-- Modified on 3/11/2006 6:31:11 PM

the correct application of a vibrating toy just behind the balls during a good BJ can usually do the trick.

Thanks to all for the input. Gave me some things to laugh and think about.

Ready to check the schedule for upcoming games, and expecting that next time the offense line will be able to "stand up" to the challenge

Life goes on

Are you saying you couldn't cross the goal line because there wasn't enough time in your session? Or because you little football player got into the red zone but didn't have the stamina to cross the goal line (ie..even if you had the full hour it wasn't gonna happen)?

If it was a time issue, then it boils down to who's fault it was that the directions were off (assuming this is the only reason you did not start on time). If it was her fault and she wasn't able to tack it on to the end of the session then maybe she could make up the time on your next visit. If it was your fault, get a GPS so this doesn't happen again!!!

If it's the latter, why fret about it? In fact, why even post about it! The lady shouldn't have to "handle it". She does her part for the session, how your little head cooperates is nothing she can control. I've had this happen now and then (on the second pop not the first) and I just thank the lady for giving it her all but it just wasn't meant to be today and not a second thought is given about it by either of us.

Are you for real?  I always try to hold out as long as possible!!!!  I guess I should just finish in 5 seconds next time.

...and I had a full 8 quarters to get the job done. But, Little Lex was just not playing. The gal was super sweet and sexy as hell, so it had nothing to do with her.

-- Modified on 3/13/2006 7:47:06 PM

When I first was with a woman (I was 21 or so) I could not get an erection no matter what... I was so embarassed that I hid in the bathroom for the rest of the night... Evelyn (her real name) was the sweetest woman.  She sat there, and waited.  Eventually she helped me enjoy sex and the art of seduction.  For that, I am eternally grateful... even to the time when I was divorced - and the first night I spent away from my family - I thought of Evalyn... yes, she was that wonderful.  What happened?  simple, my psyche was all messed up - and it affected my physiology...  what did she do? made me relax and not think about "it"  know what?  when I am with providers that still works... the best ones make the years melt away... and take me back to my simpler times....  

The best providers will always make you feel like you are 17 - in the back of the car....  puttin footprints on the ceiling....  Sounds like the lady that you were with is.  
Want a thought?  See her again - with more time.... and let her do her magic... cause know what - I'll bet she has some.

As time has gone by and I push on towards fifty I have finally come to the conclusion that it won't always be perfect in this hobby.But I almost always have a good time.I've come to realize that it's quality over quantity.I recently had a two hour session with a well reviewed traveling provider and was admittedly a little worried over how I would perform.She put me at ease right away.We got the first shot on goal out of the way quickly and I was a little embarassed about It.She looked over her shoulder at me and winked "Don't worry hon we've got alot of time left and I Know we are going to have more fun" and we did. I scored two more goals without even thinking about it.Her ability to make me feel comfortable with myself made all the difference in the world.I'm lucky This time I got Quality AND Quantity!

with one of my favorites.  I believe you are not talking about erection problems but about not being able to ejaculate. She gave it her all and I had a helluva good time in every position and every orafice, but it just would not happen.  I checked with my doctor on returning home and he indicated that it was a probably a combination of me trying too hard to make it happen,fatigue (I was in Vegas) and the medication I took, which included a blood pressure medicine and cholesterol medicine.  In all, it was just one of those things that has not recurred and was nobody's fault, it just happens. The lady was a sweetheart and promised to make it up to me...and she has...LOL

-- Modified on 3/14/2006 7:04:05 AM