I once had a booking where everything started off perfectly smooth until her phone’s playlist kicked in out of nowhere and started blasting white noise songs,  We both froze for a second, then completely lost it laughing. The mood went from serious to playful instantly, and honestly it ended up making the session way better because we were so relaxed after that.

It made me wonder has anything totally random or funny ever happened during one of your sessions that just changed the vibe in the best way?

The Terminator showed up at the police station during the booking of Kyle Reese (John Connor's father-to-be). The Terminator made a real mess of things!

my (now ex-) wife showed up just seconds before my date did.

 
Hilarity ensued.

Many years ago I hosted a lovely gal at my room while traveling to Cinci. We got busy and eventually wound up in 69 and it was pretty heated. After a few minutes I felt a warm liquid on my face. Maybe she’s a squirter? But then I tasted blood! I panicked and grabbed her hips and launched her off me. She freaked out when she saw the blood all over my face and running down my chin. I thought she had her period but she was grinding so hard on my face that she cracked my nose and gave me a pretty bad nose bleed. We awkwardly tried to laugh it off and she got me towels and tissues, but it took a long time to stop the bleeding and the date was ruined. Huge bummer for the evening but plenty of laughs retelling the story over the years 😀

I was having a massage session with a provider named Ariel.  
We were laying side by side, as she stroked me while I brought her to a finish with her vibrator.  
We both sat up and as she repositioned, sat in my fresh spooge.
She shreaked as she was still "wide open" from the stimulation.  

 
Well I thought it was funny.

many stories about being interrupted ...    one that comes to mind .. in vegas .. girl left car with valet .. but 10 minutes into actual sex her phone blows up . she forgot to leave the keys ..  she runs down hands them ..back up to me ..   10 min later phone again .. her car wont start ... they called AAA .. she had to leave again to meet AAA ..  at that point we figured ..  another time ..  hmmmm  now thinking it over she did keep the entire donation  !   oh well.    never met again  

To bring out this oldie not sure if its a goodie but I remember it like it was yesterday although it happened like over 10 years ago.
Funny is that I found her number a couple of years ago and she laughs and remember that "Lunch Date"

That is a good and memorable story.  

 
Moral of the story - eschew candles and instead go for more practical and safe sources of intimate lightning

I've never had any close calls or unfortunate accidents during a session, but with my ATF we regularly crack jokes before, during, and after the deed.  Have you ever cum while you're laughing?  It's actually a lot of fun!

Oh my dear Lord!!!🫣🤭

My longtime submissive who I consider to be a hardcore lifestyle player thinks this is hilariously funny that he wanted me to push his limits during a sounding session & he ended up in the VA hospital. It was not his first time that he over did it and lucky for me I travel with hydrogen peroxide it took the entire bottle to get the blood off the carpet. I tied his dick up tight with a rope to stop the bleeding. He told me his Dr and him laughed about it. Apparently caca happens. I did not share his humor, but at least he left laughing and smiling. 🤣  

a couple years back i had a regular when i visited Dallas.... now the thing about this fine lady is that when she climaxed, ..and often.. she gushed ..not squired ..just super overall wet.   so i always made certain to have a towel on the nightstand ...  
so after a couple hours of fun and a now soaked towel, she departs, i throw the towel on the floor and pass out.  

i wake to discover i forgot my pants were also on the floor........ so now the only pair i have are soaking wet with her ......  

45 minutes with a hair dryer and Iron later they are at least only damp enough i can wear them ... sorta LOL ... just hope people didn't notice the aroma on the plane !      of course once i got home IMMEDIATELY threw in the washing machine before anyone noticed !

I forgot to drop the envelope on a second date once. I had a brunch date with a touring provider that I’d seen 6-7 months previously. At the start of the date she comes down to the lobby thinking we’re heading out right away but sees I have a backpack and asks if I’d like to drop it off in the room. So we head up and I drop it off quickly and then back down and on our way to brunch we go. 3 hours and one fabulous date later I’m riding the elevator down to leave and realize the envelope is still in my backpack. Text her in the lobby and head back up with no reply. Call her as I’m walking the hallway with no answer. Knock on her door and she finally opens up and I tell her the situation as I step back inside. She hadn’t even realized it yet but I’m apologizing profusely and felt so bad thinking she’s going to be upset with me. I didn’t even have a year under my belt in p4p. But she assured me it was fine and we had a good laugh about it and how good our chemistry must be for neither of us to have thought about it. I stole a few more wonderful kisses and a hug and went on my way. Without the envelope this time. And I have seen her since so she was indeed not upset.

I saw a provider many years ago, at a time when I hadn't even seen ten escorts and my freequency was 1-2 times a year. I handed her a wad of hundred dollar bills, no envelope. She opened up an ottoman that was in front of her bed and threw it in there. This particular session was a long night.

 
Fast forward to the end of the session. She went to get the money and it was not there. She freaked out and thought I took the money. She was yelling at me and very angry. This part was not funny in the moment. She demaned I help her look. We both were looking everywhere, and periodically she kept barking at me thinking I may have stolen the money.

 
I went back to the ottoman for like the 3rd or 4th time. This time, I noticed there was a hole in the linner. I dug into it and found the money. Her mood changed quickly, and she was a little embarrassed that it was there the whole time. The linner was black and the hole was not obvious, so it's understandable that we both missed it several times. In the end, we both had a good laught about the whole thing.

About 13 years ago I saw a Provider who had her dog with her in the motel room in which she was hosting incall. It was not my first experience with this provider, but rather the second or third, so this isn’t mentioned in the review (which as written after our first encounter).

Her dog was very small, breed unknown (not being a member of the American Kennel Club, I’m not an expert at identifying breeds), male, and definitely not neutered (as I would soon find out).  

The Provider and I were engaged in the activity which was the reason for the encounter. She was on the end of the bed, face down on “all fours”  (hands and knees), facing away from me. I was standing on the floor, doing her from behind (by pure coincidence in what’s known as “doggie style”).

We’re going at it pretty hot and heavy. Her dog, due to his animal instinct, could sense the nature of the activity taking place, didn’t want to feel left out. So this dog proceeded to run up to me from behind, grip my right leg with his two front legs, and then began humping my ankle. (I guess he wanted to make it a threesome.)

As my focus was on the Provider, I was startled by this action of the dog, and made a sound to express my surprise. As I looked down at my ankle to see exactly what was going on, and the Provider, hearing my sound of surprise, turned her head to also see what was going on. Simultaneously we both broke out into loud hysterical laughter and collapsed on to the bed.  

Her dog just looked at the both of us with an expression on his face that seemed to say “why are you stopping?”

Haha, that’s hilarious  I can just picture it! The poor dog was probably thinking, “C’mon, just when I was about to join in

Wasn’t funny at the time, but I got raided when I was just about to start my happy ending service. Cops stormed the venue, guns blazing, and demanded everyone to exit the building. My provider and I were handcuffed, questioned, and put into the system. In the end, they let everyone go.

What are the odds of getting raided at a massage parlor? Such terrible luck. This is why I never gamble.