...what I really mean is I'll never speak to you again, have a nice life.*

I'd raise the penalty for folks I know/like.

Why waste the guys time in trying to rebook you if your not available? Is it a petty revenge thing?  

Why did he waste my money when I booked a hotel and he wanted to be there right after check-in?  (meaning no one before him, and booking a late evening appointment so there wouldn't be anyone after him either)

Eternal damnation and the curse of blue balls?

do the guy a favor and never see him again. Let him save his money for somebody more worthwhile.

Hmm, that would be a much better punishment. Edging and edging and then....walking away

I have to ask myself....have I given him the perception that I have a revolving door and will still make some money? More than likely, the answer is that he doesn't know I only secured the location to meet him there and that I will go home with less money than I left with.  

Just leave that out.  IF he calls to reschedule, you decline saying it won't work for you.  (Fool me once...    
I've only had to reschedule twice in my hobby career..

I agree. Just leave it out and then block the offender from that point on.

I have not had to cancel without fair warning in a very long time, but when I have had to, I arranged to pay the full boat. It is only fair.

Let's forget about the I know you/like you scenario. Obviously, we've all had to cancel with favorites for a variety of different reasons. Those you do understand, and simply reschedule. That just happened to me. A lady friend recently told me she had started her period, so we had our session a couple of weeks later. No big deal. I once had to cancel on a friend on her doorstep. I walked in, placed her full donation on the mantle, gave her a kiss goodbye, and scurried home.  

Aunt Flo visited 30 minutes before the scheduled time, eh.

It sucks to dump both time and money into a business and never get the promised payday. Trust me I am not trying to change your mind on that. It is the lead on of saying you will rebook when you have zero intentions to do so that makes me wonder. All that does is encourage him to try to contact you and waste more of yours screening his efforts out and his time thinking you are still open to seeing him as you said you were. Seems a lose lose to me. A simple "OK, thanks for letting me know" would would have done the same thing minus the lead on.

I don't get the lead on but he cost her money and she has every right not to place herself at further risk of loss of revenue with a guy who may never follow though with a date. Time wasting asshats are real. Now I would be more forgiving but that is me. It is a legit reason not to waste more time on him. It isn't like she is banning him from the hobby but just from her. Please put this in prospective.

High five to you!

Many people have unpredictable schedules. Unless they want to reimburse when they have to cancel last minute (this goes for the men AND the ladies) there are other options:

But it's so hard to not vent!  

The one thing we all have to remember is that if we don't cover our own ass, no one else will. You made a lot of mistakes from the start that I bet you will not make again, and that does not excuse the bs cancelation; however, it's going to keep happening if you do not cover youra own ass. What do I mean by that? Do not rent a hotel room or travel for anyone period, without an upfront deposit. Will you lose buiness requiring this? Damn right, but you will not ever be stuck in the place you are in again by doing that.  

London Rayne, you are so on point! Also, I don't believe in deposits/cancellation fees and all that extra stuff. My vagina is not listed on hotels.com. Heh.

Actually I did once.....but I kept the appt and told the provider about it and told her that perhaps we could forego the DATY part, which would be hugely disappointing for me but very understandable. She said "pfftt....I don't mind!" And we had a session that was amazing! To date she is someone that I always look forward to visiting with - rain or shine

Sure, you can be completely careful, only see "sure things," run away from anything that has the slightest whiff of risk, as are a provider or a client. But that is not a good way to build a business, or relationships with lovely providers. There are times when each of us takes a risk that is not a smart thing to do, starting at the point we decide to do this. But we also take risks on people, and most of the time they work out for those of us who stick around for any amount of time.

My policy is generally that if you cancel last minute like 30 minutes or less AND I'm traveling, I'm probably not going to reschedule. Unless you are coming to my city... Otherwise there might be an actual opportunity to reschedule 1 more time.

Then, don't bitch about the same shit happening to you over and over if you're not smart enough to minimize the risks... really simple. You don't have to treat people badly to ensure you're not in the welfare line, either. If a guy is offended at the notion of a deposit/cancelation fee he is basically saying "I don't know for sure if I can make it" in which case, don't book! Neither side is obligated to do shit. If I flake on you, you do not have to book me again and the reverse is also true. Would I book again with someone who put me through all this woman went through? Sure, my fee in full would be paid UPFRONT though. No way I would take that loss again.  

I resemble that remark and work very hard at my craft.

And I don't bother with cancellation fees either...shit happens. Same as if I have to cancel, I don't discount or add more time. If I let a john skate and re-book, he can do the same for me....or simply not contact me again, either way I am fine with.

-- Modified on 7/15/2015 11:51:20 AM

...who cancels on us after we cleared a day of appointments and drove through traffic to see her only to have her not answer her texts and then get in touch with us an hour or so later to say she was so sorry to have missed the appointment and she can see me at 9 am tomorrow knowing full well that will not be convenient?

I do see a few ladies though that somehow blame her no5 kno wing how she rus her business. Now you do see guys wonder why she is leading him on thinking he can reschedule when that isn't an option, but most of us (all who posted except two) get why she isn't willing to do so. Other than guys not liking to be mislead most of us are siding with her. It sucks being left holding the bag and expence of a failed transaction.

-- Modified on 7/15/2015 12:36:36 PM

How much did you drop on that hotel room you'd booked to see just her

$300 give or take.  

-- Modified on 7/15/2015 3:39:13 PM

As it turned out, I wrote him telling him how I felt. He replied and a few hours later we were lying spent on completely soaked sheets, kissing and holding each other. It was absolutely one of the best experiences I've had by far, civ and hobby. And I almost missed it!

Moral of the story: Never say never.

Glad things worked out.

I agree in general with your post. It's really up to the provider to cover her own ass. Suggestion of a deposit is a good one -and fair to both sides.

Re: High five to you!

What is an appropriate amount of time to cancel?

-- Modified on 7/16/2015 10:08:48 PM